Showing posts with label Top Ten Turkeys. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Top Ten Turkeys. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Not Caring (Never Did) Shut Up!

Squawk until you're out of oxygen (Please!!) you still won't get me to give shit one about anything or anybody & their petty problems. Fuck it/them all. (Shorter: "FTW!")

Although I wouldn't hesitate to leave an Ebola-infested dump in the mouth of every single pundit & scared moron who has spoken or typed "Ebola" in the last month or so. A big Ebola-infested shit, right on that flapping tongue.

Sound harsh? Fuck you. If you'd rub a dog's nose in its own crap, why shouldn't hysterical yappers & typists (most of whom lack the intelligence or common sense of man's best friend) get the same treatment?

Next steps? Breaking of fingers, removal of vocal cords. There will be silence.

Saturday, October 18, 2014

Celebration Time!

"They" beat Baylor's Bears, why can't they just have a little fun, you party-poopin' piggies?Just like Cloverfield, except Morgantown, WV.

The Undefeated Meet In Today's
Big Game Of The Wk.

This wk.'s game in which the stadium, teams, coaching staffs, administrators, media, students & fans in attendance should be destroyed by an especially vicious swarm of meteorites, if we must be more specific (And if The Big Fucking Killer in The Sky is too busy elsewhere murdering his children, at least it should end in a tie.):

Nôtre Dame d'Indiana at the Seminoles of Florida State.

It's in Tallahassee, meteors & space debris.

Friday, October 17, 2014

Today In The Natural World:
"He was about 85 percent consumed."

Leftovers/road kill:
(Reuters) - A man who suffered a heart attack and died outside his rural Northern California home had his corpse dragged away and eaten by a black bear that was sheltering nearby, medical officials said on Friday.

The 65-year-old man, identified as Marion Williams, had walked from his trailer in Humboldt County to a water source about 100 yards (meters) away on Oct. 8 when he suffered cardiac arrest, said Humboldt County Deputy Coroner Roy Horton.

A bear that was bedding just feet (meters) from the water source apparently saw or smelled the body and dragged Williams away, he said.

"The bear saw the opportunity for a food source and took advantage of it," Horton said, adding that the bear stripped Williams out of his clothes and necklace, feeding on him for several days.

"The bear did eat most of this guy," he said. "He was about 85 percent consumed."

Friends became concerned about Horton on Oct. 11 and called the sheriff's department. They also visited his property and could smell the decaying body, Horton said.

Horton stressed that the bear was acting naturally after finding the man's lifeless body, and said black bears are normally timid and non-aggressive.

Wildlife officials in California report there has [sic] been no known fatal maulings by black bears.

(Reporting by Victoria Cavaliere in Seattle; Editing by Cynthia Johnston and Sandra Maler)
Euphemism notes: "Sheltering"? "Bedding"? Is the bear "sheltering in place"? Does it have a lean-to in which to "shelter"? If those are exact words, is the Deputy (temporarily) Humboldt County Coroner afraid to state clearly that bears sleep in the woods? If not, what the heck, reporter & two editors? (Two editors? What the heck?)

Saturday, October 11, 2014

Question For Clayton Kershaw: WTF?

Where was your fucking G-d in the seventh inning Friday 3 Oct. & last Tues., Mr. "Next Sandy Koufax"? Jesus!
Go Giants, we guess. Damn the Cards & St. Louis to hell, certainly.

Friday, October 10, 2014

Today In Primate Psychology

A troop of drunken fucking baboons, the matriarch the proverbial heartbeat away ...
Fuck me? Fuck w/ me!
Well summarized here, but our images are much better.
Bristol Palin, the family's eldest daughter, was seen by witnesses punching the owner of the house, Korey Klingenmeyer, multiple times before the family was told to leave the party.
Crying shame the baboons didn't have guns w/ which to defend themselves.
And seven yrs. ago, when no one in the lower 48 had any idea of her & her troop of howler monkeys.

Monday, September 22, 2014

Your Cups Runneth Over

Drink up, sheep!!
PRODUCE! CONSUME!! PRODUCE! CONSUME!! PRODUCE! CONSUME!! PRODUCE! CONSUME!! THEN DIE!!!

Friday, September 19, 2014

Knee Slapper Of The Wk.

[TRIGGER WARNING: Philosophy]
"Wk." because it happened three days ago, whatever day that was. From the fetid comment swamp 'neath an NRO "Huckabee's not a real glibertarian Christian" ("He’s more of a liberal Christian populist than a limited-government conservative.") screed, a rib-tickler I hadn't heard before.
For one thing, he's Catholic, which means there's two millennia of the world's most distinguished philosophy behind his beliefs, which cannot be said for Huckster and his fellow televangelistas. However, Santorum is also something of a naif, and has found ways to spoil his own chances. Too bad, really, but he's not quite presidential candidate material.
Left unspoken is that Rick is not quite actual President material.

But back to the "world's most distinguished philosophy":
The Catholic Church does indeed have a vast history of great theological and philosophical minds working on Her behalf. But it is a great mistake to think that Santorum partakes in that legacy in any way.
What's most frightening is that these people appear literate & typo-free. (Except calling the church "Her.") You might encounter them in meatspace & not even realize they were so inane, insane & potentially dangerous.

Out There

Woulda played the original but Mr. Dylan's "people" do not seem to take kindly to it being available on the iNternet.

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Friday, September 12, 2014

"a strong and important voice in American politics and a relevant voice in American politics"

Is CNN Washington Bureau Chief Sam Feist, completely fucking deaf, or is it just the selective hearing that's a necessity for those toiling in the hives of hypocrisy of American media & politics? Has he listened/attempted to understand anything that's issued from the ever-flapping pie-hole of one of Arizona's many political embarrassments, Sen. McCain?
Probably not; doesn't seem as if anything that issues from Feist's own yapper sinks in either; surely he can't believe that losing one's aircraft & being a P.O.W. for yrs. makes one a "war hero".
Don’t ask CNN Washington Bureau Chief Sam Feist to make any apologies for featuring the feedback of the Arizona senator: “He has appeared for decades on cable news programs, network news programs. He’s articulate, he knows what he’s talking about and he has strong positions. He represents the views of millions and he represents them effectively. He’s a veteran and is loved by many veterans and he’s not just a senator; he’s a former Republican presidential nominee and a war hero.”
Try beneficiary of military nepotism & the scheming cunning to dump his damaged MkI Wife for a MkII that came w/ its own inexhaustible supply of beer, money & houses.
More: “I think that for a 78-year-old senator, he . . . remains a strong and important voice in American politics and a relevant voice in American politics,” says Feist, whose “unscientific” analysis is that McCain hasn’t been appearing on CNN more recently than he has over the past couple of decades (fact-checkable!).

So stay tuned to CNN for more McCain.
BONUS U-PICK-IT!! CONCLUSION OPTIONS:
  • "Christ, what (an) asshole(s)!"
  • "We are sooooo screwed."

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Catholic Jesus

SQUAAAWK!!

Via EastsideAnimals (or EastsiderTV) a plague of parrots has been visited upon Silver Lake & Echo Park.Wondered if it's the same flock this reporter's seen many times in Highland Park; comments agree.

But the big question is: Are these mitred conures just so fucking trendy they hang/fly only in trendy/gentrifying zones? Or is the relationship between prevalence of the acacias the birds are alleged to be after & trendiness/hipsters?

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Shit & Piss Find Their Own Level

You may recognize them as corporate dull-rockers U2 & corporo-fascist owners of Chinese slave labor, Apple, Inc.; to WEB OF EVIL it's all shit & piss covering the floor of the cultural swamp.

Apple's iTunes scores U2's new album. You score it free

Every iTunes customer -- more than 500 million people, but who's counting? -- get the band's new album free in what CEO Cook calls the largest record release in music history.
And worth just what it will cost you: NOTHING!! (Not even worth the effort of downloading, really.)

And if I can possibly force myself to give even less of a flying fuck at a rolling dough-nut about the Apple i(diot)Watch or whatever they've just released, I'll let you know. Not likely I could be less concerned or interested, however.

Monday, September 8, 2014

Self-Martyr Jacks Off In Hat,
Puts It Proudly On Head

I got called “vile” on Twitter the other day, which in itself is nothing new – my fiercely pro-American, pro-freedom, anti-moron agenda is a constant source of outrage for the online world’s liberal fascist contingent.
More like a continual source of boredom, lethargy & ennui for rational beings.

Last Wk.'s Meat

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Problem Solving

More: Time Warner Cable says it has no estimated time of repair for reported Internet and cable outages; says communication on progress through its customer service Twitter account will be delayed - @TWC_Help

Happened around sack time earlier this a.m. so didn't bother to call TWC to hear a recording; all was solved by the time drywall installation a ft. from my head woke me. (No cable outage in the bunker, just "DNS server not responding.")

Current problem: No light in the bathroom. Hoping the gentrifiers forget to turn the juice back on; then I'll be legally empowered to crucify them w/ their fucking nail-guns. Somebody's dying for their sins.

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

The Gutter Of Religion:
Where The Mentally Ill Prey On
The Mentally Challenged

It had to happen. Currently on local over-the-air channel 35.6, KTAV-LD, some crap called Peacetv, unshaven pigs babbling about Mohammedism. Fuck your pig-worshiping bullshit, get a shave & eat some bacon, losers.

Not to ignore the filthy lies emanating from Channel 35's seven other sub-channels. Fuck Christo-theocracy too, & the grifting bullshit that preys on the suckers born each minute. Of course, you can't cheat an honest man ... so fuck the grifted grannies too: See? NO ONE IS INNOCENT!

Friday, July 25, 2014

The Face Of Mental Illness

This person, Clark County Nevada Republican Cindy Lake, is disturbed in the head. And not only because she's a "Realtor©®™."
Seriously, can't the mental health community figure out what makes people punk-ass chumps like this & give us a diagnosis so we can put them somewhere safe? (And quiet.)
A Ron Paul-endorsed candidate for county commissioner in Nevada outlined her conspiracy theory-informed vision for local governance in recently posted video.

Cindy Lake, a Republican candidate for Clark County commissioner, said she became active in politics because Paul – the former Texas congressman and failed presidential candidate – mentioned during a debate that he supported the right to drink raw milk.

“I think you have a right to put whatever you would like to put into your body, if you’re a grown adult,” Lake said during a candidates forum in April, which was posted online Thursday. “I don’t think the government should tell any of us what we should eat, drink, or how to raise our children.”

[...]

Then the moderator asked her about fluoride in public drinking water.

“That is another one of my passions,” Lake said. “I’m completely anti-fluoride.”

She said toothpaste tubes warn against swallowing, and she said that was reason enough to remove fluoride from the water supply.

“It costs us just under a million dollars a year to add what is a toxic industrial waste chemical to our water, and we’re paying for that, when if you want it, you can certainly buy your own toothpaste that’s fluoridated,” Lake said. “I don’t want to give that to my family, and I don’t want it in my water.”

[...]

“I respectfully asked my liberty friends to be very careful about this chemtrails thing, because to me, it’s all B.S.,” the man said. “The reason you see chemtrails like you do, is because there are thousands of planes flying overhead.”

Lake told the man they should discuss the issue later, and related an anecdote about inventor Nikolai Tesla’s so-called “death ray” that is widely shared among chemtrail conspiracy theorists.

“I’m not 100 percent sure what’s being sprayed up there, and why, if anybody was spraying us — aren’t they spraying themselves, too?” Lake said. “I do think that there’s some validity to it. I don’t have the science to prove it, but as with drones, I think things can be used for the good and for the bad.”

“Unfortunately, the government, when they are given any kind of tool, tend to use it against the citizens to control us, so my perspective is, I wouldn’t discount it without further investigation because there is some proof to (it), from what I understand in my research,” she added.
"As I understand in my research." That would be the funniest line of the day, if Ms. Clark had said it from the rest home. But, as she is on the loose in our reality & looking to fuck things up, I'm not laughing so much.WHEN DOES THIS PARADE OF MORONIC AMERICAN ASSHOLES STOP? Why is that so much to ask of an un-listening & non-caring universe?

Maybe I shouldn't complain so much (Ha ha, eat it.) after all, the Southern Nevada Watchdogs have already had to hide their video from so-called normal people (most of whom are punk-ass chumps too). If you must, note that she carries her Constitution everywhere, & that she's part of the war on Xmas.

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Trailor Load A Mugs*

Ha ha, schadenfreude. Extra good when the victim's at fault, & the added embarrassment of there being no promised Hello Kitty travel mugs for the punters is icing on the gravy.
ECHO PARK — The Dodgers were scheduled to hand out 40,000 Hello Kitty travel mugs at last Thursday’s game but the truck delivering the merchandise broke down, prompting the team to hand out vouchers redeemable for a mug at the stadium store, the L.A. Times reported. But, according to some Echo Park residents, the Hello Kitty-hauling truck did not break down – it got stuck on a narrow Echo Park street a few blocks from the stadium.
Nice. The Dodgers, the Times or both are perfectly willing to lie about anything, at any time, & just for the hell of it.

*cf.