Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Am I "Real"?

Casus Belli: "Remember The Maine"

Does this absurdly speculative crap from these fake news sites seem like a good enough reason to start a war w/ Iran? I'll just betcha it does for certain people.
Fox News:
EXCLUSIVE: Pentagon believes attack on Saudi frigate meant for US warship  —  The Iranian-backed suicide attack targeting a Saudi frigate off the coast of Yemen on Monday may have been meant for an American warship, two defense officials told Fox News.  —  The incident in question occurred …

Call It Direct, Call It Collect,
But Call It Today!

Today In The First Amendment

White House telephone numbers:
+1 (202) 456-1259
+1 (202) 456-1260
+1 (202) 456-3323
+1 (202) 456-3376
+1 (202) 395-1194
+1 (202) 456-1565
+1 (202) 395-1608
+1 (202) 456-2046
+1 (202) 456-2500
+1 (202) 456-4640
+1 (202) 456-3256
+1 (202) 456-3878
+1 (202) 395-1480
+1 (202) 456-3450
+1 (202) 456-4655
+1 (202) 456-4770
+1 (202) 456-1781
+1 (202) 456-2395
+1 (202) 395-4840
+1 (202) 456-3248
+1 (202) 456-4391
+1 (202) 456-7560
+1 (202) 456-4348
+1 (202) 456-3443
+1 (202) 456-2975
+1 (202) 456-3255
+1 (202) 456-4708
+1 (202) 456-3873
+1 (202) 456-6758
+1 (202) 456-5979
+1 (202) 456-4257
+1 (202) 456-4384
+1 (202) 456-5849
+1 (202) 456-4319
+1 (202) 456-4759
+1 (202) 456-5677
+1 (202) 456-1125
+1 (202) 456-4761
+1 (202) 456-4687
+1 (202) 456-4747
+1 (202) 456-2357
+1 (202) 456-4265
Betcha call any # beginning w/ (202) 456- & you'll get a White House extension. Get those burner 'phones out!

End Of Month

Source: California Should Be Stripped Of Electoral College Votes Due To High Number Of Illegals In The CA Census
This may be the most delusional thing that happened in January. Or not. Does reality (or anything the hell else) make any difference what-so-fucking-ever to these deluded-for-decades doofuses who essentially lost the state due to their irrational phobias? (Prop. 187 & so on.)
“If we can get Donald J. Trump to be president of the United States, certainly we can get Californians registered to be Republicans,” longtime conservative activist Johnnie Morgan said to applause. “With the energy we have now, with the momentum we have now, with the inspiration we have now, with the committed people we have now, we can do this. It will spread like wildfire.”
If it were to spread it would be more like the drug-resistant strain of E. coli just reported. Why would he think a wildfire is a good thing to invoke in our Golden State? Schmuck.

Another dim bulb whines:
We want to show the political elite that we exist and that we are not happy with some of their legislation and they can’t just ramrod things like that without considering us.”
It's called democracy, idjit. The majority rules. You don't like it, kill yourselves or get out of Cali.

Last & most pathetic:
“We need change. We have that in Washington, but we need change in Sacramento to bring down the liberal pathetic establishment that has destroyed this state,” said Nestor Moto, 22, a gay Latino GOP activist from Long Beach. “This country belongs to people like you and me … and it is time we take it back.”
"Destroyed the state." Right. And all the usual meaningless "take our country back" from our fellow citizens yap. Fucking young person moron. We're taking this country back from the moronic minority that voted for Trump.

Monday, January 30, 2017

Capitalism At Work & Play

Any corporate entity that calls its wage-slaves "associates", "partners" or any other such euphemisms is obviously fucking them over, but good, & now the chief bullshit-peddler at Starbucks has discovered an entirely new group he can fuck: Refugees. (Note the corporate double-speak we bolded.)
Hiring Refugees: We have a long history of hiring young people looking for opportunities and a pathway to a new life around the world. This is why we are doubling down on this commitment by working with our equity market employees as well as joint venture and licensed market partners in a concerted effort to welcome and seek opportunities for those fleeing war, violence, persecution and discrimination.  There are more than 65 million citizens of the world recognized as refugees by the United Nations, and we are developing plans to hire 10,000 of them over five years in the 75 countries around the world where Starbucks does business.  And we will start this effort here in the U.S. by making the initial focus of our hiring efforts on those individuals who have served with U.S. troops as interpreters and support personnel in the various countries where our military has asked for such support.
How long before the first Starbucks overseer/manager says "Work overtime for regular wages or you go back to your country to be killed for selling out to the occupation forces, Ahmed!"

Sunday, January 29, 2017

Fake News

And/or deflection instead of projection for once.
Ryan Saavedra / The Gateway Pundit: DEVELOPING: At Least 5 Dead in Quebec City Mosque Shooting; Many On Social Media Are Calling It A False Flag Attack
Ryan Saavedra / The Gateway Pundit: REPORT: Witnesses Say Mosque Shooter In Canada Yelled ‘ALLAHU AKBAR’!
How long until The Gateway Pundit has a seat in the White House Briefing Room & is the first to be called on to ask a question?

Constitutional Personality Crisis

Hey, if the (ultimately undemocratic) Constitution is the greatest fucking document ever written, why is it so prone to crises?

Demonstrations Are Great, But ...

... what happens when the first "lone-wolf" white nationalist terrorist takes a shot at the self-styled Resistance? Or when the first gang of somewhat-organized fascist thugs decides to assault demonstrators?

Remember these? Neither a joke nor humor to certain groups of disturbed people.
How much "resistance" will we see from sissy liberals after they are resisted w/ the violence inherent in right-wing movements? Our editorial guess: Not very much.

Saturday, January 28, 2017

A Tale Of Two Countries

Perhaps Sensitive Flower (probably a pansy) Trump will interpret the above as an insult & declare war onclose the border w/ our neighbour & friend to the north. Wouldn't surprise me one bit.

Revolutionary Bandstand

New Sun Risin' Up Angry

Max Frost And The Troopers - Shape Of Things To Come

Friday, January 27, 2017

A Few Lies From The Loser
Of The Popular Vote


The skin crawls, the stomach contracts

Couldn't possibly be fake. (One has to wonder just how many Trump voters have these same issues of size & stamina.)
The Mentors - Donkey Dick

Jerk/Moron Of The Day

Dimbulbed schmuckface Zuckerberg of the dull pointless blue white & gray ("Why would you want any other colors?") website Faceboop is suddenly disturbed about Trump & his immigration policies.
 Mark Zuckerberg / Facebook:
Mark Zuckerberg says he's “concerned” about President Trump's executive orders on immigration, affirms support for “Dreamers”  —  My great grandparents came from Germany, Austria and Poland.  Priscilla's parents were refugees from China and Vietnam.
Here's a clue, Marky Mark: Deal w/ issues like the streams of lies/fake news/yada that pollute the source of your billions of undeserved dollars before it comes to this.

And Zucky, learn the lessons of history: Your & Mrs. Z.'s ethnicities are not the favorites of Mr. Trump & his Nazi/fascist/nationalist/populist/moronic/hate-filled associates. Maybe you oughta just shut up & get out to save yourself further embarrassment. Or maybe you two oughta shut up & get out of the country before the Secret State Police come knocking at your door. (You can leave all your money w/ me when you go.)

It makes my day when all involved in idiotic bullshit, from Trump to Zucks, are sacks of shit & this reporter can state, firmly & w/o equivocation: Screw every last one of you shitheaded bastards & your mothers to hell & back w/ a rotating splintered broomstick!

Thursday, January 26, 2017

Today In Charter Schools

Won't somebody think of the children, innocent yet imprisoned until the age of 18? (No; no one ever does.)
Federal agents assisted in the raid of a network of Los Angeles charter schools as part of an ongoing investigation into allegations of criminal activity.

The raid at the South Los Angeles offices of Celerity Educational Group at 2069 W. Slauson Ave. involved multiple agencies, Laura Eimiller of the FBI’s Los Angeles field office told City News Service Wednesday.

“We and our partners were seeking evidence based on allegations of criminal activity,” Eimiller said.

The alleged criminal activity included fraud and fiscal mismanagement, the Los Angeles Times reported.

Celerity Educational Group manages seven schools in Southern California as well as some in Louisiana. The schools are publicly funded but privately operated and exempt from regulations that govern traditional schools.

Los Angeles Unified School District officials confirmed to The Times Wednesday that they had been alerted that the U.S. Attorney’s Office in Los Angeles was going to oversee the serving of a search warrant on Celerity’s offices.

Federal agents swarmed the organization’s offices, collecting laptops and copying data from computers, an employee told The Times.

— City News Service

Trump's Chumps & Trump 'Tards

Dep't. of Derp

Check this pile of American Idiots. How many are functionally illiterate? I'd bet few of them have ever read a book, even before they dropped out of high school. And few of them seem able to say anything rational.

The merest example:
Rick Gardner, a Christian minister in Arizona, says he most likes Trump's honesty - "truly a man of his word" - and his selflessness.
I hate these fucking sad sacks. I have always hated stupid, ignorant fools.

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Just About Had It W/ All Of You

The ANAL O.G. Un-President

W/ the emphasis on ANAL!
President Trump spends substantial time and energy ridiculing the media. He spends even more time consuming — and obsessing about — it.

Print copies of three newspapers. When Billy Bush was on, "Access Hollywood" every night. TiVo of the morning and evening news shows so he can watch the tops of all of them. Always "60 Minutes." Often "Meet the Press." Lots of New York talk radio.

He's not a book guy: In fact, some advisers say they don't recall seeing him read one or even talking about one beyond his own, "The Art of the Deal." And, as he told us, he's not one for long reports or detailed briefings. One page usually suffices. Bullet points are even better. But he does consume — often in huge doses — lots of traditional media.

"He's an analog guy," one top adviser told us, saying he never sees the boss on a computer or using his phone for anything but calls.

The president's media diet:
  • When Trump was in the tower, he got hard copies of the N.Y. Times and N.Y. Post (which a friend calls "the paper of record for him" — he especially studies Page Six). He "skims The Wall Street Journal," the friend said. No Washington Post, although friends assume he'll add it now. He had started skipping the other New York tab, the Daily News, because he thought it treated him shabbily.
  • Trump knows specific bylines in the papers and when he's interviewed by a reporter, he can recite how the reporter has treated him over the years, even in previous jobs.
  • Before the campaign, his aides subscribed to an electronic clipping service that flagged any mention of his name, then his staff printed out the key articles. He'll scroll through Twitter, but he doesn't surf the web himself.
  • With an allergy to computers and phones, he works the papers. With a black Sharpie in hand, he marks up the Times or other printed stories. When he wants action or response, he scrawls the staffers' names on that paper and either hands the clip to them in person, or has a staffer create a PDF of it — with handwritten commentary — and email it to them. An amazed senior adviser recently pulled out his phone to show us a string of the emailed PDFs, all demanding response. It was like something from the early 90s. Even when he gets worked up enough to tweet, Trump told us in our interview he will often simply dictate it, and let his staff hit "send" on Twitter.
  • Most mornings, Trump flicks on the TV and watches "Morning Joe," often for long periods of time, sometimes interrupted with texts to the hosts or panelists. After the 6 a.m. hour of "Joe," he's often on to "Fox & Friends" by 7 a.m., with a little CNN before or after. He also catches the Sunday shows, especially "Meet the Press." "The shows," as he calls them, often provoke his tweets. The day of our interview with him, all of his tweet topics were discussed during the first two hours of "Morning Joe."
  • "60 Minutes" is usually on his DVR. "He's so old-school that he thinks it's awesome to go on '60 Minutes," a friend said. "He loves being one of Barbara Walters' '10 Most Fascinating People' of the year." Before Trump ran, a staple that he watched every weeknight was Billy Bush's "Access Hollywood." Same with Time Magazine. His office and hotels are full of framed copies of him on the cover.
Why this matters: Trump has been hooked on coverage, especially of himself, since the glory days of the New York tabloids, when he would happily leak details about his affairs and business deals. He can't quit it. So the notion he will surrender the remote, or Twitter, or his grievances with reporters is pure fantasy. Aides talk of giving him "better choices" or jamming his schedule with meetings to keep him away from reading about or watching himself on TV. But this is an addiction he will never kick.
Cheese'n'crackers, not only is not-my-President incompetent, he is quite literally retarded, as in stuck in the '80s w/ Baba Wawa & Time, The Magazine. Send it by courier, baby!

Today In Demonization

Working from the same talking points, we see. Damn bitches better learn their place, huh?

Lance Wallnau: Women’s March Was A Manifestation of ‘The Spirit Of Witchcraft’

Rick Joyner: Women’s March Was ‘A Blatant Manifestation Of The Jezebel Spirit’

UPDATE, 1803PST: Another superstitious suckwad, from the same tired & idiotic DEMON talking points.

Has America Compromised With the Jezebel Spirit?

Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Today In Sheer Coincidence


El Trumpo's World View:
The Enemy's Within!!!

Orange model Brainiac.
Apparently I'm the only person left in this world of shit & pain capable of reading; certainly the only one capable of understanding what he's reading. If not, why hasn't this quote received any attention? (Possibly because no one is reading the site, which was started by two of the chief shitheads behind POLITICO.)
"I've had a lot of briefings that are very … I don't want to say 'scary,' because I'll solve the problems," he said. "But … we have some big enemies out there in this country and we have some very big enemies — very big and, in some cases, strong enemies."
Besides the sadly familiar feeling of a listening to a not very smart grade-schooler trying to bullshit his way out of a question ("some very big enemies — very big and, in some cases, strong enemies") for which he was unprepared, did you notice the phrase "big enemies out there in this country"? Is he just confused? Did he perhaps mean "the world", but let slip a Freudian revelation of his true beliefs about us? Dollars to dough-nuts there's already an enemies list (if not several) making its way around the Executive Mansion.

And of course, he'll solve the problems. Because everyone else is stupid, & he's, like, very SMRT. (You can tell by the way he talks like a third-grader.)

Monday, January 23, 2017

Musical Birthday

Born this date in 1910, Django Reinhardt.

Which Commandment Was That Again?

John Nolte / Daily Wire:
Response to Ben Shapiro: Five Reasons I Don't Care If Donald Trump Lies  —  Let me first acknowledge Ben Shapiro's Sunday piece about those who excuse from Donald Trump what they never would from Barack Obama.  On this particular subject, I have been very clear since the beginning, since The Donald stepped out onto the political stage.
  1. the rejection of all religious and moral principles, often in the belief that life is meaningless.
The dream is over: Cast off the yoke of bourgeois morality & take a page from this guy's book before it's too late!

Impending Mortality

Reductions in Medicare & Social Security outlays should help you go before many more of your heroes do.

Sunday, January 22, 2017

2017 Wk. Three Morbidity
& Mortality Report

Wk. of 15-21 January 2017:
Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka, pro wrassler, accused murderer, Sunday the 15th.

Eugene Cernan, last humanoid to set foot on Luna, 82, Monday the 16th.

"Poppy" & "Bar" Bush, not to worry; hospital stays just an excuse not to attend Trump's illegit inaug.

Cheese or a cheese-like product on a cracker, this hasn't turned out to be much of a report. Reckoned (hoped) they'd be dropping like flies in the new yr.

Saturday, January 21, 2017

Insecure (& Illegitimate)
Presidential Drama Queen

Who you gonna believe: Trump, or your lying eyes?

Srsly., how effin' pathetic is this egomaniac?
A presidential speech that was intended to thank the intelligence community quickly went off the rails Saturday as Donald Trump talked about himself, his inauguration crowd, the dishonest media and how great his party was.

Trump appeared at the CIA on his first official day as the 45th president after a rough few weeks where he'd heavily criticized the agency, blamed it for leaks and questioned their assessment that Russia had interfered in the U.S. election. In a brief 15-minute statement, Trump meandered, but without the kind of discipline or grace one might expect from the commander in chief.

"I am so behind you and I know maybe sometimes you haven't gotten the backing that you've wanted and you're going to get so much backing," Trump told the intel community with whom he has feuded. "Maybe you'll say, 'don't give us so much backing. Mr. President, please, we don't need that much backing,' But you're going to have that, and I think everybody in this room knows it."

It seemed at every turn, Trump would pivot to himself. As he talked about his choice to lead the CIA Rep. Mike Pompeo (R-KS), Trump noted that he himself was smart.

"I met him and I said, he is so good. Number one in his class at West Point. I know a lot about West Point, and I'm a person that very strongly believes in academics. In fact, every time I say I had an uncle who was a great professor at M.I.T. for 35 years, who did a fantastic job in so many ways," Trump said. "He was an academic genius, and then they say, there's Donald Trump, an intellectual, trust me, I'm like a smart person."

Then, when he talked about wanting to help America win again, he noted how young he felt.

"When I was young and I feel young, I feel like I'm 30, 35, 39, somebody said, 'Are you young? I said, 'I think I'm young.' You know, I was stopping when we were in the final month of the campaign, four stops, five stops, seven stops. Speeches, speeches, in front of 25,000, 35,000 people, 15,000, 19,000, from stop to stop," Trump said. " I feel young. When I was young, we were always winning things in this country. Would win with trade. Would win with wars. And at a certain age, I remember hearing from one of my instructors the United States has never lost a war. And then after that, it's like, we haven't won anything."

It was a strange juxtaposition: a President, standing before the memorial wall at the CIA that honors the lives lost by agency officers as he talked about crowd size and his intelligence. According to the pool report, there were about 400 CIA employees at the agency Saturday. At first, the cheering came from across the crowd, but the pooler noted that as the speech continued, the senior officials in the front grew "subdued."

"Probably almost everybody in this room voted for me but I will not ask you to raise your hands if you did but I guarantee a big portion because we're all on the same wavelength," Trump said.

Trump also couldn't resist talking about his feud with the media.

"I have a running war with the media. They are among the most dishonest human beings on Earth. And they sort of made it sound like I had a feud with the intelligence community. And I just want to let you know, the reason you're the number one stop is exactly the opposite," Trump said. "We did a thing yesterday at the speech and everybody like the speech? But we had a massive field of people. You saw that. Packed. I get up this morning, I turn on one of the networks, and they show an empty field. I'm like, wait a minute. I made a speech. I looked out, the field was, it looked like a million, million and a half people."

As we type the White House Press Secretary is trying to figure how the massive street demonstrations currently happening can be spun. Good luck!

Post-American Bandstand

It's Separation Time; Rasta No Deal W/ Crime

Friday, January 20, 2017

Nobody Likes Me, Everybody Hates Me, Guess I'll Go Eat Worms

The schaden freudes itself: What if they gave an illegitimate inaugural & (relatively) no one came, including much of Trump's enthusiastic movement?

Nobody likes this jerkwad or any of his little fascist friends. When does the snarking stop & the shooting start?
Jennifer Calfas / The Hill:
Poll: Trump approval rating hits new low hours before inauguration  —  Just over a third of Americans approve of President-elect Donald Trump  —  , according to a new poll released hours before his inauguration.  —  The survey from Fox News showed that 37 percent of Americans approve …
Piling on.

Donald Trump took the oath of office in front of a comically small crowd

The size of his crowds was the entire premise of his campaign.

The flash of his cards ...
What Google hath wrought: First result of "the flash of his cards was sprayed" is this eerily prescient four-&-a-half yr. old Greater Trumpery from our iNternet friends sitting on top (if you discount Patagonia & the Malvinas) of the world.

Instant Inaugural Karma

It's no secret this reporter has hated this shit hole country & the filthy non-stop hypocrisy it's spewed at the rest of the world since long before he started bitching & moaning about it & everything else on the iNternet; now that America's chickens have come home to roost (& already dropped loads of chickenshit on everything) I'm very happy (even if my corpse will be in the streets rotting w/in months) because most of you sonsabitches will suffer (Maybe die?) lying in the beds you made for yourselves. Bend over & spread 'em, bit-chezz, 'cause here it comes!!

Thursday, January 19, 2017

Hamburger All Over The Highway ...


Truck hauling 138 cows overturns,
killing 37 heifers east of Los Angeles

Wait for it.

The Latest

A mere sample:
"I tell you what": We're about to have a 70-yr. old "President" who has the intellectual acuity of the proverbial high school drop-out working in a gas station.
Except self-service would've put him out of a job long ago.
Tweets via Anne Laurie at Balloon Juice.

This reporter is leaving the bunker to look at the last full day before the shitheels of the "Real America" take over these United Snakes. 240 yrs. is probably more than could have reasonably been expected, so fuck it all to hell; it's the will of (some of) the people!

Thermonuclear Thurs.

Play simultaneously. Then bend over, place your head between your legs, & kiss your ass goodbye.

King Yellow (NOT Orange)

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Everything You Know Is Wrong,
Also Too

As noted yesterday, straight outta Hellmouth (& 1974) The Firesign Theatre!

At Least I Was Warned

Weasel-Dick Weds.

Tragic Davos avalanche? We can only hope.
Will no one rid us of these parasites, hedge fund managers & whore-mongers who are literally killing & maiming us every day w/ their never-ending greed & lust for power?

Coming up on Wednesday

The first day of Davos 2017 is drawing to a close, but there's plenty more coming up tomorrow. Here are some of the key sessions to follow on Wednesday:

0800 GMT - Squeezed and Angry: How to Fix the Middle-Class Crisis
0930 GMT - Special Address by Joe Biden, Vice President of the United States
1000 GMT - A Compact for Responsible Business Leadership
1000 GMT - Politics of Fear or Rebellion of the Forgotten?
1300 GMT - A Positive Narrative for the Global Community
1445 GMT - Fixing Europe's Disunion
1700 GMT - The Great American Divide
1715 GMT - An Insight, An Idea with Jack Ma
N.B.: If you aren't part of the solution, you're part of the problem.

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

I.C.Y.M.I.: Twit Of The Day

Alliteration is awesome, innit?

Everything You Know Is Wrong

Directly from Pappy's, the inner front cover of the first edition of Gorgo, The Monster From The Sea.
Not sure if I believe even the text in the first panel (Now that "scaled like a fish" has registered, no.); I suppose there's nothing egregiously inaccurate about the third's text or image. Still, it's "Jesus rode a dinosaur" country.

Sunday, January 15, 2017

International Hero

Martin Luther King - Scientist w/ The Forces Of Music

Fear Of A Black ... Museum?

National African-American Museum. All sources lead to the LDS Church.
We see that the Pants-Pisser-elect is afraid he'll soil his uuge pantaloons if too many swarthy types get near him.
Rebecca Savransky / The Hill:
Trump no longer expected to visit African American museum on MLK Day: report  —  is reportedly no longer expected to visit the National Museum of African American History and Culture on Martin Luther King Jr. Day.  —  The president-elect will no longer make the visit on Monday because of scheduling issues …
 John Santucci / ABC News:
Trump Changes Plans on MLK Day Visit To African American History Museum
Perhaps Trump is only afraid he'll learn something. But either way, fuck that ol' John Lewis guy, right?