Saturday, July 26, 2014

Now Can We Start Killing
The Stupid People?

Why & whom I hate:
Well, it turned out that customers preferred the taste of our fresh beef over traditional fast-food hockey pucks. Hands down, we had a better product. But there was a serious problem. More than half of the participants in the Yankelovich focus groups questioned the price of our burger. "Why," they asked, "should we pay the same amount for a third of a pound of meat as we do for a quarter-pound of meat at McDonald's? You're overcharging us." Honestly. People thought a third of a pound was less than a quarter of a pound. After all, three is less than four!
My patience is at an end. How long am I to put up w/ these substitutes for humans? There is not enough hydrogen & oxygen left on the planet to allow Americans to keep wasting them like that. Off w/ their heads before they start stealing my oxygen & water!

2 comments:

Weird Dave said...

Just call it 33&1/3.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Well fuck, we live in a country where the richest people tell us that tax cuts will raise revenue.

And more than thirty years into the failure, they're still beating us over the head with it.
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