Saturday, November 30, 2013

Factoids From The Ether

Bugger Thnaksgiving [sic], time now to attack Christmas & everything else decent, good & profitable, & as "Black Friday" recedes from memory, a last stab at the fucking turkey corpse, courtesy Weird Dave & the Beeb.

Blame Canada:
Canadian department store Eaton's held the first "Santa Claus parade" on 2 December 1905. Once Santa appeared at the end of the parade, the signal was that the holiday season - and thus, holiday shopping, had begun. Of course, consumers were encouraged to buy their presents at Eaton's.

US department stores such as Macy's took inspiration from the parade, and started sponsoring similar efforts across the country.
This yr.'s local parade action consists of Stevie Wonder & a mess o' has-beens, never-weres & wanna-bes performing in a not-free musical event before the parade. (When did that start?)
So ... the U.S. Marine Corps Reserve (Who happily kill un-American babies wholesale!) solicit donations of useless fucking toys so the child-victims of capitalism can pretend they're human for one empty, shallow & symbolic day a yr.Then the Disabled American Veterans will whine about veterans disabled in defense of capitalism. The nerve. Are there no more poorhouses, debtors prisons or V.A. Hospitals for these malcontents?

There's no excuse for any of this. The draft stopped in 1980 something. What did they expect, & why in fuck would anyone volunteer to "serve" a nation whose children don't all get toys at Xmas anyway? Or to defend a nation that forced them to "volunteer" to defend it by denying them real jobs.

Terrorism? TERRORISM? Fuck you. These United Snakes have been practicing economic & actual lynch-mob gov't. terrorism on their own citizens since the first slave was kidnapped to be brought here. Fuck you, I say. You want to defend this country, stand up against greed & murder at home.

I.C.E., I.C.E., Baby

It's been a wk. (& a whirlwind it was, w/ frozen Thanksgiving pizza & more meatspace contact w/ humanoids than expected) since we had a visitor from beyond so we figure it's safe to run a picture.

Here, then, a candid shot of Mr. McGravitas discussing his immigration status w/ an officer of the law, who just didn't believe that "B.C." stood for anything but Baja California.
Kidding, of course. Substance is the dude in the car.

Friday, November 29, 2013

Achievement

So far, so good ...

STAY IN YOUR HOMES!!!

NO CONSUMING TODAY, SHEEP!!
Were you men & women rather than ovine mutations that merely function/consume as humanoids you'd never buy any shit ever again, ever, from anyone, but your cowardice is manifest in the fact that the American economy just hums away, using your contributions to it to crush you under its wheels. (You are had, coming & going, & half the scam is that most of you are too fucking stupid to notice & they've made the few who notice morons.)

Do not leave safety in order to shop. (It's cold & wet out there.)

Do not shop on the fucking iNternet, either. No cheating, consumption-addicted, iNternet-addled idiots!!

Case in point:
Jesus, just screw Taegan Goddard to hell. Fucking Amazon.com-linking whore. Get a real job if Political Wiring doesn't pay a living wage, you fucking parasite.

Hey, why don't believers ever accuse their gawd of a "War on Humanity During Xmas?" Gawd loves them so much he gives them the free will to be trampled to death by their fellow humansconsumers, all of them consumed by their lust to have more nothing sooner & cheaper.

Other life-affirming holiday traditions include death & permanent damage caused by drunk driving or hanging the Xmas lights on a rickety ladder (drunk or not). And their gawd thins his flock w/ trees & lights that destroy houses & kill family members (if not entire families): Gawd wanted Granny by his side so much he had to take her & the house during Xmas, is that the story? (He couldn't wait a few yrs., or months, even, to smell her wretched older person farts? Selfish asshole. Not celebrating his birthday.)

Thursday, November 28, 2013

Clash Of The Holiday Titans

P.S.: Happy Holiday-You-Barely-Noticed-Til-You-Hadda-Keep-Up-w/-the-Christians to our Christ-killing* cousins of the Hebrew "persuasion."
*Next time, finish the job.

Turkeys

Ah, Thanksgiving w/o expectations or obligations, added bonus the Raiders playing America's Team (of Idiot Jerks) Dallas (Who just fumbled & let the Raiders score 12 secs. in! Wow.) & who are the Raiders playing at quarterback? No, really, who is McGloin? (Did I even get that right? His first name had better not be "Pat.") Comedy name, right? What? The? Hell?

Found A Reason

Be thankful you're an American, not an American victim.

Happy Thanksgiving, Pilgrim

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Thanksgiving Best Wishes To All Humanity W/ A BIG FUCKING STICK!!

Son of a fuck-tuck-tuck-ing bitch will we never learn? Why would we ever ever ever again have entered an American supermarket the evening of their bogus holiday devoted to how grateful they are they can consume more shit faster than most humanoids on the planet thanks to their military machine that keeps the rest of the planet too frightened & subduedbullied to rend them & their ugly stupid children from limb to limb before they & their honkie Euro pals do use up the rest of the planet?

Rending from limb to limb is just what we should have done to the fucking consumer drone who insisted on standing in front of the milk while she went over her fucking Thanksgiving shopping list w/ her daughter AS IF THERE WERE NO ONE ELSE IN THE ENTIRE FUCKING WORLD (No one else in the entire fucking world: Our idea of paradise, by the way.) WHO MIGHT JUST FUCKING WANT TO GET INTO THE FUCKING DAIRY CASE.

And the selfish & egotistical always reproduce. Her daughter will doubtless follow mom's example & grow up (sort of) to reach new levels in obnoxious self-centered privilege.

Followed by the woman who (Say ladies, what's your fucking problem anyway? Have the corporate consumption entities of these United Snakes turned all American women into consumption devices, mere tubes through whichom product slides & profit is made? You bet they have, & you didn't put up much of a fight, did you?) came out of the potted plant dep't. (at the exit end of the self-check-out zone) & snagged an empty robot w/o even looking to see if anyone who had waited in line like a fucking sheep himself was headed toward the same recently vacated robo-checker. I.e., she cut in front of us. As we had already been provoked by the awful woman whose shopping list was the only thing in the world we didn't confront this latest affront to social life & common courtesy, fearing complete explosion & meltdown in an unstable gas-filled sector but YOU CANNOT IMAGINE HOW FUCKING TEMPTED WE WERE TO FOLLOW HER TO THE PARKING LOT & USE HER BRAND-NEW POTTED PLANT TO BREAK EVERY FUCKING WINDOW IN HER CAR AS A LESSON IN COMMON COURTESY & SIMPLE HUMAN DECENCY.

These two brain-dead consuming sheep (Is getting your potted plant that much sooner WORTH YOUR LIFE? Maybe you should think for a moment or two about your relationship w/ objects & purchases. It doesn't seem healthy to us, & having been driven mental by a world of consumption & greed, we know.) do have something for which they can be grateful this Thanksgiving: Their karma has yet to catch up w/ them.

In the meantime, we're waiting for the NSA (Bunch of pin-dicked contractors. We're sooooo scared. Neener neener Mr. Desk Jockey Spy-Boy. Few clichés are lamer than the voyeuristic jagoff.) to notice us ranting, raving, threatening & bemoaning lost opportunites. Then we'll see if they try to mess w/ our Second Amendment Right to Stand Our Ground by using our First Amendment Right to threaten anybody or anything w/in an inch of its life. Until then, all you civil libertarians should just clam up. What's the big deal? Has the big mean gov't. stopped you from anything? No, because they know you're a bunch of lily-livered punks who'll never do anything anyway so what fucking difference does it make?

[File this one under YOU BET YOUR FUCKING ASS AN ARMED SOCIETY IS A POLITE SOCIETY!! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST SAY PUNK?]

This Yr.'s Entry

As it turns out, the same specific theme last yr. Twice.
Although this yr. they have to work, they still had money last yr.
Say, here's yet another! And here, even.

Race To Oblivion

We have a local winner:
In the [L.A. Times] newsroom there is a growing sense that the editors and publisher no longer care much about the printed paper, feeling that the future is digital. This is kind of a giant FU to the print readers and you could argue to the Times brand. Lots of big newspapers feel financial challenges. Only the LA Times among the big ones sells its most important news real estate.
Read the rest at LA Observed.

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Here, Make Up A Title
Finish This Crap &
Fix The Typos/Edit It,
WE STOPPED CARING LONG AGO!!

While making a juvenile & tedious sort of comment at Whiskey Fire we wentlookinged for a more recent picture of Fred Hiatt thana the one where he looks like the ghuy from Animal HOuase ather inane comment & ended in the Washington Pest's fucking rogue's gallery. Putrid, sure, but we're not are not as content-concerned as we are curious . Most of the on-line magazines we are forced to peruse for scraps of idiocy at which to howl (The Atlantic Slate Salon TNR The Daily Beast to name just a few but too many
seem to have acquired a new simpler less cluttered larger-print look recently

We assume this new look new thing is because every other ninny we see on the streets under the age of fiftyish has & is glued to a mobile device & they can't possibly all be cretins* using social media, some of them may merely be morons who can still wrap their lips around on-line magazine length syllables & the mags are getting in on it.

Doesn't matter, it'll be so effing hot you won't be able to go outside & it'll be back desktops & land lines & desktops. Assuming there's still land or desks.

President Numbnuts Near, Bad Vibes Sensed

Had we known the Prez was to be at Dreamworks in (not really) nearby Glendale we might've gone over to scream & shout at King Chickenshit because why the hell not, but as usual we tried for seven hrs. of sleep & are just now waking up even as the sheep in Glendale stir nervously in their pens awaiting the Great Consensus-Seeking Wimp & Tool of the Corporations, President Barack "Status Quo" Obamawandered by to cover the event.

Not, alas, to cover it in shit. The manure cos. just cop right out when they hear why we want their shit. Fucking capitalist pigs, just like the President.

Hey, B.O., capitalism never worked for you, why continue to believe/insist/pretend/lie through your fucking teeth that capitalism's bullshit works for any but the already filthily rich? Jackass.

Monday, November 25, 2013

Conservatism In A NUTshell

The Supreme Grand Exalted Konserva-Kleagle & President of All White People, Ronald Reagan, speakslies like a fucking rug, 4 March 1987:Senility, dementia, self-delusion & childishness: Literally & objectively features, not bugs, in the conservative ethos.

Are You Still Beating Your Wife?

WELL DON'T!! Also, Republicans could stop voting against the Violence Against Women Act.

Here the U.N. interferes in national sovereignty. The nerve.

Comittment To Excellence

Good Samaritan gets his after Raiders game:Raider fucking Nation, dood.
Two people were taken to the hospital with life-threatening injuries following Sunday's Oakland Raiders game against the Tennessee Titans.

The Alameda County Sheriff's Office says a woman jumped from the third deck near section 301 at O.co Coliseum around 4:30 p.m. The section was closed to the public at the time.

A fan that [sic] was walking along the concourse about 60-feet below saw it happen and tried to catch her, but was critically injured when she landed on him.

A sheriff's spokesperson says the man who tried to catch her "100 percent saved her life." The sheriff's department tells ABC7 News they believe the woman jumped intentionally.

Both have been taken to the hospital in critical condition.

(Copyright ©2013 KGO-TV. All Rights Reversed.)
Our sincere hope for a total & complete recovery to all, now that we've schadened our freude.

Sunday, November 24, 2013

PROFIT!!

You'd never guess w/ whom the editorial staff spent several hrs. today literally wandering the streets of L.A., not unlike wild dogs, so we'll drop no names. (Hope we weren't too disappointingly dull in the sickly white flesh, & thanks for not mentioning these lamebrain teeth we've got.)

We will take the opportunity to repeat our thanks for the fine meal (not great, & absolutely on our suggestion, but edible, w/o illness, fingers crossed, & not bad for the money.) & the drinks. (NO BOOZIN' 'scripts having expired, we're off the meds at least until we see the croaker* next wk., when he'll probably put us on something else for some other vexation, so we ended 15 mos. of sobriety.) Social drinking will be the end of us all.

Hey, wait ... meal & a couple drinks, out of sheer kindness or ??? Send up some signal rockets, let the world know: We finally got something from the effing iNternet other than hrs. upon hrs. of free (it's almost worth it) entertainment!

*Who knew, it's a specific kind of sawbones.

Or, it is us. This too.

Lively Onion

Saturday, November 23, 2013

A Reader Writes

Oh, this has it all. Boomer nostalgia, Santa Monica (Assuming Sullivan's reader is more closely connected to the truth than Andrew is.) & a historical anniversary (more or less).
This photo is a family heirloom. Our family friend Ruth is the woman right of center with the glasses and hat, and the arm in the tan sweater behind the woman in the bikini is our recently lamented Aunt Dorothy. The picture was taken in Santa Monica after the 1960 election, before JFK’s term began. He’s just out for a swim at the beach. In the context of modern security, this scene is astounding.

Christmas Is A-Comin'

(One of) Today's (many) proof(s) of the non-existence of Gawd is that this version is not-to-be-embedded. (How many times must we scream "Intellectual [Ha ha.] property is theft!!" before it sinks in? Fuck, it's like trying to get chimpanzees to think. "Use those brains for once!!")

Compare & contrast, also the composer himself:Answer song:Marlboro Red in a box. Gawd bless AmeriKKKa.

Still Kicking Myself

I've neither a specific nor general recollection of what I was up to 15 December 1969, but even though I came & went from school every weekday (until I dropped out) at the same Metro as Salle Pleyel I really blew it when I wasn't there for this.Never jammed, smoked hash or anything else w/ fellow ex-pat Philly Joe Jones either. More time wasted in a wasted life.

Tunes from npr via hepcat/public broadcasting (Remember when it was called "educational" broadcasting?) fan "Pupi Max" at Sadly, No!

UPDATE (2051PST 23 November 2013): Screw these bastards. That fucking video plays just fine at nasty putrid radio, but here among actual people (not the buncha middle-class pigs slumming that is npr) we have to wait until the 26th? BULLSHIT. FUCK OFF TO NPR, VEVO & PROBABLY BLUE NOTE AS WELL!! GAAAHH!!

Hater's Dilemma

Which religion most deserves to lose, the Perverted Woman-Hating Mormons of BYU or the Perverted Child-Hating Papists of Notre Dame? If footsball is so fucking meaningful that you fucking sheep cluster around the tee vee for it like ... like ... oh, right FUCKING SHEEP! we assume we'll see a rash of conversions as Gawd's choice in the game becomes apparent.

If not, most male American morons have been wasting as much of their "free" time w/ bullshit as they've wasted working for someone or something else. Fucking loser-ass chumps. A real & manly gawd would already have sent meteors or another plague of locusts/Mormon crickets, or just opened the ground beneath Touchdown Jesus (50 this yr.!)& had the earth swallow the entire mess but the Great Sissy Spirit-of-Turn-the-Other-Cheek is neither real nor manly, which explains its popularity w/ the pin-dicked gun-fondling crowd. Fairies of a feather, eh?

Friday, November 22, 2013

Wasted Again

Ha ha you dumb fucksstupid jerkssad internet addicts wasted time w/ the previous two items when you could've gotten the message at Whiskey Fire or fully compressed.

American Guns

Just had a brilliant idea: Why not make November 22nd* American Firearms Day? We can each take a few moments to remember the Freedom & Liberty armed crazies wandering the streets have brought this country while glossing over the millions dead because people like you are trusted w/ firearms in this shithole of murder & slavery we call America, & to remember that were it not for guns, we wouldn't need guns!!
*June 6th? How about April 14th? Wait, just pick from this list. Of course, if there were dates more specific than the yr. it would be a bit easier. Good fucking job, Wikipedia. Do you want to be shot, Wiki? Because you're fucking w/ our right to free & easy access to all information.

Fifty Years Ago Today

I remember when I was five
We were sittin' in school when the teacher cried
She told everybody that the president died
But that didn't bother me 'cause I was still alive!

50 Yrs. Ago

On a Friday, then & today.Note the political atmosphere in Dallas at the time. Hope nothing equally awful has happened since we composed this 4 March 2013. (Or do we?)

Thursday, November 21, 2013

"Everything Changed After ..."

"Web stream" makes us think "spider urine".
Unless (just like everything the hell else ever) it was a lie, CBS News will be streaming recordings of the live coverage of events of 50 yrs. (& a day) ago, starting at 1040PST/1340EST/(figure it out yourselves, Flyoverians) tomorrow.

Poopy-Doody

The usual bogus outrage emitted from reactionary elements when they are hurt by the truth seems to have had an effect on the corporate cowards of MSNBC, as sissy-boy Martin Bashir knuckled under & copped out on the truth he told about Sarah Palin*.Ah, it must have been the "should be shat & pissed upon" implication. (We can see how this could raise conflicts in the reactionary mind.) But who brought up slavery now? Who shits & pisses on truth, justice & the English language every time she's being recorded? Never apologize, chickenshit, & stop using our initials. You are unworthy.
*The easily refuted ("Refudiated?") S.P. One needn't be an over-paid & imported (What, we don't grow enough weak-kneed telebision gasbags in these United Snakes?) pundit to type it as it is. We don't even have to do it, as man-about-the-iNternet mikey recently explained it all for you in these pages:
mikey said...
Not to mention that the American Political Right shrieks that deficit spending is taking wealth from our grandchildren when the truth of the matter is we OWE that money to our grandchildren, and it's more a matter of distribution than debt, and when we slash spending on infrastructure and R&D we ARE actually stealing the future from our grandchildren, but the nutbag right wingers don't actually care because the primary goal of the political wing of the American Conservative movement, the Republican party, is 100% focused on nothing more or less than the upward redistribution of wealth from the poor and middle class to the super-rich. Inequality is the problem, and inequality is their goal...
14 November, 2013 17:27

Weather Report

The report being, we had some last night.
video
Don't believe it: You can't watch this on YouTube!

Karma Report

Hey, c'mon now, it's not as if Katherine Harris (who should bear much of the responsibility for the horrors of the Bush Administration but apparently has received a free pass, as, despite having the blood of thousands upon thousands of Iraqis, Afghans, Americans & others on her hands she has been neither tarred nor feathered) isn't a nasty hoor who deserves to suffer. Late husband old enough to be her father,
The couple live in a posh waterfront French chateau-style home that overlooks Sarasota Bay.
Nothing but hoor-ing going on in here.
And gosh, can you imagine the suffering she must be going through realizing her meal ticket is dead?
Is them "hoor diamonds?" 'Cause that's a hoor & her trick.
Will Michele Bachmann Mk I have to work for a living now? The schaden freudes itself, dunnit?

On The Beach

Dear Native Angeleno,
I'm embarrassed to admit this, but here goes: I haven't been to the beach in four years! Should I feel guilty?
Landlocked in Lincoln Heights
Are you effing kidding? We only go at night, or overcast weekdays. Too much UV, too many ham & eggers, sometimes both.

Not to mention:
The story of Santa Monica's Inkwell beach sounds like something out of the Jim Crow South. During the 1920's, the 200-foot-long strip was one of the only beaches in the county—save for a sliver of Manhattan Beach—where African-Americans were allowed to enjoy the ocean.
Guess it was better here than in the states of the former Confederacy.
More pix & links about beach racism at the link.

Classism on top of the racism:
This set of vintage photos comes from the Los Angeles Public Library's "Shades of L.A." project, which celebrates the diversity of our city. The snapshots are from Verna Deckard's personal collection, coupled with a four-hour interview she did with the organization.

"All the rest of the beach ... you couldn't go there unless you belonged to a club, and we couldn't belong to a club," she said.
Before the beaches belonged to the people. We'll guess "club" membership wasn't cheap.

Plus which, the beach is for idiot teenie-boppers:

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Filler

Songs blow. Length arbitrarily & commercially mandated, too many or never enough notes, seldom a good solo, usually only one couplet (rhymed or not) worth remembering. If you're lucky (& really, how often are you?) there'll be a hook that a human being can tolerate anticipating. Otherwise, as much a total & complete waste of time & energy as everything else.

As yet another in our interminable acts of goodness we'll extract the good parts from several selections, beginning w/ the most important line, & not just of the song but possibly of anything the Ig or anyone else could ever need to say about anything, anywhere, ever:Those more disposed to verbal (at least) action than to musing over the philosophic yet immediate & real-world observations that are the Ig's stock in trade may consider this the musical summation of human experience & existence, & both sides in any disagreement may go fuck themselves:Here the summation of the Darby Crash experience: True poetry needs no words.

Annals Of Contempt

Just how fucking stupid do they think you are? About as stupid & exploitable as you morons prove yourselves to be every single day of your lives. (The age-old question: Who's worse, the exploiters, or the sheep who are a majority yet allow themselves to be exploited by a tiny minority? Let the Big Fucking Killer In the Sky sort them all out, we say.)

So when you get a call from V12101000100005 (80)-018-0200 & it turns out to be "Alex" & his South Indian accent calling from the "Windows Service Center" to advise you that your devil-box is chock full of malware & malicious stuff, tell him to go fuck his mother (assuming that, as a South Asian male, he hasn't already raped her) & advise him that scam artists come back as cockroaches, & it will take five to ten million reincarnations before he's worked off his karma.

Anyway, "Alex," who called at 1130 fer gawdsake (A capital crime in any civilized society!) is lucky we cannot reach through the telephone, because these osteoarthritic fingers can still strangle a punk-ass chump like nobody's business.

So, to answer to our question of yesterday,no, apparently we will never be able to wake undisturbed again, & an entire world will pay the price for it.

All we've ever asked is to be let the hell alone, & we have done our very best over the yrs. to leave all of you fucks alone, yet day after day there is some asshole bothering us, or asking silly questions like "Do you really want to threaten to kill me during a recorded conversation?" when she & her fucking robot called to bother us in the first place. Have we no rights?

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Slippery Slope

Oh great, now our right to defend myself from psychiatrists, other mental health professionals & militarized police forces w/ whatever explodes is being threatened by some do-gooder.
In the wake of so many shootings, healthcare providers should be thinking about how we might do more to prevent those who are severely mentally ill from obtaining firearms. To be sure, we must protect the rights of those who are mentally ill—most of whom are never violent—especially since they already suffer under many other burdens. But, still, the law will have to change. Otherwise it’s hard to see how we can place an effective barrier between the mentally disturbed and lethal weapons.
"Suffer under many other burdens" indeed. Nobody knows the trouble ...

From The Out-Box

On the sisque .. Seskwui ... 150th anniversary of Lincoln's Gettysburg Address ("Gov't. of the people, by the people, blah fucking blah" ... shut up already!! We are soooooo tired of stupid words, none of which ever mean or accomplish anything, ever. Just on & on & on & on & on & on & on & on & on & on & on & more & more of them, & on & on & on & on & on & not one of them worth the paper & ink/electrons wasted or the oxygen & nitrogen molecules disturbed*. And that was allegedly a short address.)Pointless, therefore, e-mail just sent to the above fascist of the first water in Hawai'i:
Please come to Los Angeles soon, I am anxious to beat you w/in an inch of your horrid life w/ a sledge-hammer. I figure two smashes for each hand & foot will be a good start. And much too good for a coward like you.
It’s no stretch to assume that if Brower were found roaming middle-class neighborhoods and smashing items in people’s homes, he would find himself both out of office and behind bars. But segments of society view homeless people as less important and undeserving of the dignity of having their possessions kept safe.
I'll repeat, coward. What in the hell is wrong w/ you, & what was wrong w/ your parents?

You're obviously a complete idiot w/ some very severe "issues," as they say, & no more fit for public service than one of the mentally ill unfortunates who "disgust" you. Christ on a crutch, you rancid son-of-a-bitch, you will have no idea what "disgust" is until you realize how people feel about you.

I will be urging both the legislature of your state (What a hellhole that must be. Are you the only obviously mentally ill member, or is this common?) to throw you out on your criminal ass & the local legal authorities to arrest you for vandalism, assault & every other crime of which you are guilty (or can be suspected).

Once convicted, your colleagues in the legislature should deport your chickenshit ass to Los Angeles as if you were homeless; I'll be waiting w/ my sledge-hammer. 

And Tommy, remember who else shipped people to the East to make more "living room" for "decent people?" They committed massive acts of vandalism too. Which led to mass murder. Look up Kristallnacht, you fucking NAZI! Note the similarities between that & your behavior. Is that the direction you want to go in?

If it is, BRING IT ON!!!

And since your actions brought it up, how do you feel about Jewish people & other not-so-blond groups?
Fuck You!!
Sincerely,
M. Bouffant
Rep. Brower's voicemail box is, oddly, filled, but if it costs you nothing, please at least try to share your opinion w/ him at (808) 586-8520. The email address we used for the above, repbrower@capitol.hawaii.gov will never be full unless Hawai'i runs out of server space. (Hey, let's make that happen w/ our outrage!!)

And why should the Stalinists in the Tea Party have all the fascist fun? We're about to urge a purge by the Democratic party in Hawai'i (808-596-2980. First time we've heard a busy signal in yrs. Outrage!) which should throw this figurative bum out of office even before the Hawai'ian legislature does. (Pipe dreams, of course, aristocrats being definitionally unable to commit crimes against mere humanoids.)

More wasted electrons (not to mention the waste of whatever chemicals are involved in our thought process):
I can only hope that the Democratic Party of Hawai'i is both offended & embarrassed by the vandalism & property damage your Rep. Brower has committed (On tape yet. We are lucky most of these crazy people are as stupid as they are.) & is working to insure that Brower resigns from the legislature instantly, & is prosecuted for his crimes.

(And maybe someone should keep an eye on him. Seriously: How long do you think it would have been before he was bashing homeless people in their sleeping bags like some teen-age thug?)

This is Tea Party crap. How could you let this guy be elected on a Democratic ticket? You can't expect people to believe there were no warning signs. Making him resign & insuring he's prosecuted to the full extent of the law are the only way to keep you from looking any worse.
Just as there are clues to serial killers, there are clues to the sorts of people who are very serious about property values, but not serious about others' property or rights. One of the most glaring of these clues is membership in these sorts of things, as proudly displayed on Representative Brower's page:
• '98 - '06 Member, Waikiki Neighborhood Board 
• '98 President, Waikiki Residents Association
Word to the wise: When President-for-Life Barack Obama's Socialist Revolution is complete, such memberships & associations will be guaranteed tickets to Reëducation Camps, no "judge" needed.

*We're fortunate to be a positive person; the unending monotony of the meaningless argle-bargle this race of idiots spews non-stop could get sensitive types a little down once in a while. That & the non-stop acts of violence against the already down-beaten & oppressed.

Where'd It Go?

From the 50 yrs. ago file, L.P. tells you how to live:While it's still 2013, more advice:Blah blah, if we had a nickel for every time, yada.

Monday, November 18, 2013

Not Fucking Funny At All
After The Fourth Or Fifth Time

Your mileage & patience may vary.

Annals Of Patriotism

Note the Treasonous Slaver flag greeting President Kennedy in Dallas,
22 November 1963. Nice people.ABC wasn't ready for day time, let alone prime time.

Sorry, Wrong Number

50 yrs. ago today, Touch-Tone dialing was introduced to these United Snakes by the American Telephone & Telegraph Co. in two towns in Pennsylvania, Carnegie and Greensburg.

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Canadian Corner

Note to cartoonist: No one uses a Zippo for crack.
Lighter fluid ruins the subtle flavor notes.
While we're on crack, first use of "crackhead," by Scratch, 50 yrs. ago?

Yesterday's Sunset, W/ Chemtrails

Yeah, we're all in the gutter but some of us stare blankly up into the chemtrail abyss.

Washeteria

(After X yrs. Bugger has at last concluded we like our large images at s1600 & is saving us the trouble of changing it. The machines may be getting smarter. It must be machines; if humans had been involved, they would have figured it out several yrs. ago.)

Annals Of Righteousness

Sun. Serm.:

I Bust It In The Name Of Jah + Version

Another casualty: This prince o' Jamaican music passed 11 September of this yr. (Getting so we're scared to type anyone or their name into a search engine.) Lotta good Jah did him.

Saturday, November 16, 2013

The Children's Hour

A 12-year-old girl picks cucumbers on a Michigan farm.
It's certainly not that we like the little perishers, we never never ever wanted to have any responsibility for any of them, let alone actually create any, & we know damn well that children aren't our (or any) adult's "future" (because adults' only futures are as worm food, face it already!!1!1!!1) but (try as we might) we can't forget that we were once a child, & child labor horror stories only make complaints about our miserable childhood look petty, so help us to look better (& help the children to have childhoods followed by living to adulthood) by sending some money (or otherwise look as if you care by threatening the G.O.P. S.O.B. who's chair of the Education and Workforce Committee on Twitter, as also suggested).
Dear EmailNation Subscriber,

It's not allowed to happen in Russia, or in Kazakhstan—but in the United States, children as young as twelve are allowed to toil on tobacco farms, performing backbreaking work and putting their health and lives at risk.

As Gabriel Thompson and Mariya Strauss document in The Nation, agricultural work is dangerous: on top of exposure to heavy pesticides and the possibility of acute nicotine poisoning, young workers are vulnerable to hazards involving farm vehicles, grain silos and manure pits.

The Children's Act for Responsible Employment (CARE Act), introduced by Representative Lucille Roybal-Allard this year but blocked by the GOP-controlled Education and Workforce Committee, would bring child labor standards in line with protections in other industries and increase civil penalties for abuse. The measure faces stiff opposition, but the exploitation of children, in the final telling, should be impossible to defend.

Join The Nation in calling for an end to child labor in agriculture. Contact your representatives and demand they fight to bring the CARE Act up for a vote. Then tweet at Representative John Kline (@repjohnkline), chair of the Education and Workforce Committee, and demand his committee act to fight this gross injustice.

All best,
Sarah Arnold, The Nation
Motherfucking shit, this bill has been sitting around for four fucking yrs.? Enough! Get out there & shoot someone who owns tobacco stock. Or kill a farmer. Seems fair to us. We'd love to see Americans paying what their food is worth & what their gas really costs.

P.S.: Rep. Kline's Twitt-Bio:
Serving my sixth term in Congress,
I am married to wife, Vicky.
I served 25 years in the Marine Corps,
retiring at the rank of Colonel.
And of course his Twit-staff is spewing lies about the ACA.

M.J.B.A.

Uh huh, Mary Jane Business Administration. (Cannabis Public Accountant? Whatever the fuck.)

The wretched among us will remember "hip capitalism"; here's this millennium's version, none of which you need bother reading beyond the headline:

An MBA for stoners: Get ready for the next growth industry

At a Seattle conference, clean-cut entrepreneurs look to get rich and stay legal. The "party bus" waits outside

as it's only an intro to what interests us: Us.

And in our sector it's no sheet big business; there are now four "pharmacies" w/in six blks. of the editorial bunker, three recently opened & one that went out of business after several yrs. but was soon replaced by another in the same space. Or changed its name. No idea how these places opened so recently (Now this happens, when our receptors are too filled w/ other prescribed mind-altering crap to bother w/ boo.) as there were several competing propositions to reduce the reefer mania on the municipal ballot in May, one of which surely won.

And while beer & wine are available at approx. every other storefront in that six-blk. area that isn't a laundromat, by comparison there are only two liquor stores & a market where demon rum is legally available.

S.C.M.-D.L.A.

Every once in a while a story so awful we'd ignore it if it weren't local (Pee-drow) crosses our radar. Can we assume that the (literal) dog-fucker in this case is a Republican who gets neither consent, nor even the concept of consent, Santorum man-on-dog style?

Here is the meat (WARNING: ++ICKY!!) if you want more details click away (You are a sick fuck if you do.):
What he found shocked him: the 22-year-old grandson of a neighbor had been sneaking into the backyard, feeding the dog something to make it relax, and having sex with it for hours.
Hours? We just threw up. A lot. In the toilet, not in our mouth. Gawd!!

Stolen from the sickening pervs at laist.

RADIO ACTION: WHERE ELSE BUT?

Friday, November 15, 2013

At Last, Found Filler ...

... for a Big Ol' Fug You Friday!Which is more contemptuous of the audience, recording this, or replaying it after 70+ yrs.? (We're just sorry Harriet didn't wail a few notes.)

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Blind & Foolish Faith

What they say & (possibly) believe:
Recently I read about the chaos and poverty in Venezuela, and how their government seized a popular electronics retail chain by force, the country’s equivalent of Best Buy. It was a blatant attempt to appease the poorest, least educated members of society with government-subsidized flatscreen TVs before a crucial election.

If only their people would see this for what it is! A nation with as much oil wealth as Venezuela could be paved with gold overnight if their petty, vindictive government would get out of the way and allow some semblance of a free market to take root.

Two paragraphs as silly/pathetically ignorant as have been typed in some time. (Minutes, certainly.)

How's that semblance of a free market working for these United Snakes, you dumb cluck? Why isn't that paving w/ gold thing happening in oil-rich Texas, for example? Oh look, not paved w/ gold, NOT EVEN FUCKING PAVED!
Amid financing challenges, the department announced seven weeks ago that it planned to convert 83 miles of farm-to-market road in the heart of the oil-drilling boom to gravel, most of that in the Eagle Ford Shale. Following a public outcry, the agency issued a 60-day moratorium on converting any roads. That has turned the end of October into a looming deadline for county officials hoping to find a way off the so-called gravel list. And as they consider options that include taking over the maintenance of the roads or soliciting donations from the energy sector, the officials say they are being punished for their region’s boom.

This week’s meeting was the most visible part of a recent effort by transportation officials to explain their reasoning behind the plan in a clearer way. While the South Texas drilling boom has added billions of dollars to the state’s coffers, it has also badly damaged local infrastructure. Around the region, drivers must now navigate around and across yawning potholes, cracked asphalt and splintering shoulders. The department has struggled to maintain its farm-to-market roads, which were not designed to handle the weight of the thousands of heavy trucks that now regularly traverse rural communities like Cotulla to get to new wells.
Notice our emphases? Local officials have to consider begging for road repair funds from the same corporations that have damaged the roads.

The free market is literally devolving the transportation infrastructure, yet the blinded still sacrifice themselves & their farm-to-market roads to it.

You'd think a free market would serve them, but it's almost as if this free market is a malevolent entity interested only in profit, especially profit that returns to those already wallowing in profittheft of surplus value.

What happened to those loudly shouted shibboleths responsibility & accountability? You break it, you own it, Swarovski figurines or public farm-to-market roads. That should be simple enough even for free market believers. If a corporation is indeed a person w/ all attendant rights, it should have to be personally responsible, right? Right? Hello, hello? This thing on?

But we haven't even started. (Nah, don't worry, more than half-over.) Those two throw-away paragraphs of 180° wrongness are not the real joke, pathetic as they were. What's really funny is they are part of a two-page (& possibly very serious) "Impeach Obama" screed. W/ a 7 mins. & 5 secs. video. Love that eye of Sauron imagery. Cleee-ver.  This youthful ninny has objectively established his disconnection from reality, the material world, current events, & how things work, & clearly demonstrated he hasn't much grasp of cause & effect. So we're expected to read/watch/listen & believe that whatever horse-pucky he's typed & spewed about high crimes & misdemeanors will free us of this troublesome colored fellowreverse election results like magic? Can't get funnier than that.

All of Mr. Seaman's inane impeachment droning (haven't watched any, merely skimmed the DC idiocy) leads to one deflating question: WHERE IN THE NAME OF HELL WERE YOU FROM 2001 THROUGH 2009, MR. CONSTITUTION/FREE MARKET?

Another question would be, so what? Why is the current President suddenly responsible for everything non-Constitutional (And who died & made Mr. Seaman the Supreme fucking Court?) since Honest Abe suspended habeas corpus?

And a third might be, if Obummer hasn't questioned or restrained the Nat'l. Security State (& he has indeed played right along, they all do) why would it let him be impeached? Again we see the ancient enigma of the enemy who is a vicious would-be slavemaster, evil incarnate, yet just as Jesus is gawd & man at the same time, this Satanic overlord is also pathetic, weak & incompetent while managing to destroy all that is good & pure. (It is very difficult to keep up w/ this stuff.) Keeping it clear, because our typing sucks today: The Satanic overlord just mentioned is the N.S. State itself, which, J. Edgar Hoover-style, must certainly have all the poop it needs as to which members of Congress like to wear adult nappies, for example; information which could certainly influence votes on impeachment or anything the hell else, & no doubt has.

Sheesh, junior, by the time a 20-yr. old who hasn't yet bothered shaving wakes up to the whole shadow gov't. thing it's about 25 yrs. too late. (We are referring to ourself & our learning curve. Dunno what David Seaman's problem is.)

Now we're into oh for fucks' sakes territory. Which would appear to be Los Angeles. Figures. Think Seaman knows Conor Friedersdorf? Are you streaming Rise every morning? When will everyone (else)'s fifteen mins. of self-appointed fame stop?No longer true:

Eating Your Young Again, America?

No nation on the face of this earth loves its children more than these United Snakes. (Alright, more like "no nation on earth loves telling all the other nations how much it loves its children." Because infant mortality rates in this country tell an entirely different story.)

Yep, we love the little rug rats to death, but we expect the people who care for them (Because, you know, we are so busy loving them we can't take care of them.) to live on shit wages because our children are so so very important to us. Really, they are. Can't you follow the logic there? It's mathemagical science.

Fuck you, poor people. In every hole!!

Local Art Beat

In the item below we applied the phrase "morbid & juvenile" (a description first applied to long-time meatspace acquaintance Click Mort by his then-girlfriend's father*) to ourself.

Yada nostalgia yada led us to Click's site. He used to pick the git-fiddle for a (more or less) living, but eff that, pickin' & grinnin' is a young person's game & Click's got a newer scam we're proud to share.
Moose-Headed Harpy
© Click Mort

*All were amused, w/ the possible exception of the ladyfriend's parental units.

Didn't Consume Enough

The restaurant biz: Here yesterday, gone today.
Ate here twice, did not die. Could have gone more, but it's not our responsibility* to keep American business going.
Would like to know the disposition of the eternal neon flame. We'd pay US$20-30 for them. O.K., 40 for both, but no higher.

*Actually, we have no responsibilities at all. Free as a bird. (Ah! Here is the M.B. mind at work: The continuation of "free as a bird" is, to us, "coming to peck out your eyes!" Morbid & juvenile? You betcha!)

Today In Victimhood

So when Ted "Canucki" Cruz of Texas's creepy father calls for the elected-by-a-freaking-majority-of-the-freaks-in-this-nation President to go "back to Kenya", that's somehow not an attack on the majority of the (real) American people who voted for him?
Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) believes that when his critics attack, they’re not just going after him, but also taking on “the American people.”

[...]

“And so, the reason—the nastier the attacks get—I mean, they’re directed at all of us, they are directed at the American people,” Cruz continued. “Because a lot of the folks in Washington don’t want to be held accountable.”
Criminently, Adolf "Big Lie" Hitler had nothing on these people. And Hitler at least knew when he was licked. (Will it take the equivalent of Soviet troops in the rubbled Halls of Congress to convince the mathematically challenged among our representatives the party's over, the sun's rising & sane people are laughing at their party hats?)

The video may also be viewed at the site of one of the interviewers, a woman w/ a bad case of penis envy.
Nice pink blood spatter. Sick sick sick!
(Ladies, forget it. You aren't missing anything beyond ease in urination.)

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

V.D. Over, Xmas Now Here To Stay

Sure we've seen an Xmas-oriented advert or two on the real telly, but Hallowe'en is now history (It's a ghost!) V.D. has come & gone & turkeys day are just around the corner (Why do you think we stay inside as much as possible?) & this was FEATURED on YouTube, so we gave it a listen.Prior to the Civil Rights Act, there sure as hell was no room at the Holiday Inn (IYKWWM, & WTYD) for certain sorts of people.

As usual we're not the only one who's noticed the creep (No, not Santa.):
The worst part of "Christmas creep"? It tramples decorative gourd season
Absolutely. One (non-holiday) quibble:
On a balmy Saturday morning this past September, I went to Ikea to buy a new desk for my daughters. I knew Ikea on a Saturday would be nightmarish enough, but what I hadn’t expected was that it would be holiday nightmarish.
One desk, two daughters? Scarred for life.

Other than that, the item is a lament for the fall which is being pushed out, gourds & all, by Xmas. We guess people from the parts of the world w/ seasons (Savage heathens all.) will tear up for a moment at the thought of what they're missing.

Shut The Hell Up You Lying Old Bat!*

Peggy Noonan's Blog off the wagon again (Actually her blog has been too wasted to climb on the fucking wagon since ... ah, let's stay on a higher spiritual plane & not go into details ...):
The new president—and this was a key historic moment—decided not to act on the accumulated presidential wisdom of the ages, which is: Get the other party in on all big things. Give them a stake in it, use them for cover, show you have bipartisan juice, that you are truly national and not only the leader of one party, show you can wield your mighty power across the aisles. Get them bragging they passed it, with your leadership. Make them co-own it so that when certain parts don’t work, and certain parts won’t, they have deep motives to help you fix it.

Instead, a perfect storm of misjudgment, immaturity and lack of historical perspective, and a perfect storm of shortsighted selfishness (it’s all ours, it’s not even a little bit yours) brought forth a perfect storm of a health-care disaster.
Geeee-ziz. We'd call her an awfully dumb hoor, but Catholicism having gotten its bitter poison in her early ("Dolphins!!") she probably means all that, it being projection (AS IT ALWAYS IS, SO WHY WHY WHY DO THEY NEVER STOP??)* of her imaginary(?) lover Ronald Reagan, the avatar (after George W. Shrub) of "misjudgment, immaturity and lack of historical perspective" in the Presidency. Also stupid, ignorant & quite literally demented.

Chances that the whiny reactionaries who assembled on Inauguration Day 2009 to pledge their sacred honor to destroy the duly-elected President & his commie socialist agenda would have gotten in on it, had a stake in it, allowed themselves to be used for cover, & on & on? ZEE-ROH!! Get effing real, Noonan: Were the people who cannot even stand to look at a Democrat/you-know-what in the WHITE House going to go along w/ all that?

How in the hell can she just lie through her fingers like that? Doesn't her Gawd ever punish her? It claims not lying is part of its commandments, but that's never once stopped one of them.

Hey, why not, since he came up like e. coli? Eat this, Peggy!

*Yeah, we're pretty much losing it here in the bunker, & it's only Weds. (Not that days of the wk. or anything else mean much to us.) We seriously need anger management. Someone had better manage these people so they aren't making us angry all day & all night & all afternoon.

Property Is Theft, Eviction Is Murder

We keep warning you cock-suckers, but you keep collecting rent. What the hell do you think will happen?
A mother and son, 58-year-old Diana Lynn Cohen and 28-year-old Daniel Xane Cohen, were arrested early Wednesday morning on suspicion of murdering Gordon Smith.

Smith, 63, was the owner of Shearwater Property Management.

The Cohens rented an apartment from Shearwater on the 1700 block of Kinsley Ave. in Santa Cruz, and Smith was in the process of evicting the mother and son from their home.
The smiling face of evil incarnate. Enjoy eternity in hell!
Hope profiting from working people was worth it.
Live by the rent check, die by the eviction notice, "property" managers.

The Schaden Freudes Itself

Mitsubishi didn't get us all at Pearl Harbor, but they haven't given up, have they?
The Oklahoma Medical Examiner's Office on Tuesday officially identified Perry Inhofe, the son of U.S. Sen. Jim Inhofe, as the victim of a fatal airplane crash Sunday.

The state Medical Examiner's Office made the confirmation based on dental records. The cause, manner and autopsy reports are still pending, according to Amy Elliott, spokesperson for the agency.

Dr. Perry Dyson Inhofe would have celebrated his 52nd birthday on Monday. His funeral service is scheduled for 2 p.m. Thursday at First Presbyterian Church, 709 S. Boston Ave.

The plane that crashed Sunday is a Mitsubishi MU-2B-25 twin turboprop that was built in 1974, according to Federal Aviation Administration records.
Real patriotic purchase there, Doc. You must have loved America about as much as your dumb-like-a-post father, unrepentant Sen. Inhofe:
Sen. James Inhofe (R-Okla.) says he won’t guarantee he’ll be more vigilant about checking NOTAMs after he landed on a closed runway occupied by maintenance workers 10 days ago in Texas, according to a report at AVweb.com, which notes that Inhofe told the Tulsa World: “People who fly a lot just don’t do it. I won’t make any commitments.” Inhofe added that while “technically” pilots should “probably” check NOTAMs, it would be impractical for him to do so on the many flights he makes to small airports in Oklahoma each year. Read the full AVweb report here.
The apple doesn't crash far from the tree, does it? The same sad story: Don't tell me nothin', Mr. Government Man!!

"The schaden freudes itself" concept by IFTHETHUNDERDONTGETYA™³²®©.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Poppy Poop

These are the people who "support the troops." That's right, people who like baby-killers are shallow, superficial & generally awful people w/o the slightest understanding of anything, political, military or otherwise. But they're very brave on Twitter when a news reader is spotted not wearing a fucking poppy on Remembrance Day. Surprised? Wish we could be, but the awful among the English-speaking peoples isn't limited to 'Murkins & Aussies.
The abuse directed at her on Twitter included racist jibes that her family would not have been able to settle in Britain but for the deaths of soldiers. "Without all those fallen soldiers, Hitler would've taken over Britain and your family would never have been allowed here...," user @alhaurincraig wrote. Another crudely superimposed a picture of a poppy on to an image of the presenter with a banner saying 'Sack the Slag'.

White said the racist and sexist abuse acted against all of the goals that the fallen soldiers had fought for. "The messages of "go back to where you came from" have been interesting to read, as have the 'fat slag' comments, and the repeated use of the phrase 'black cunt'," she said. "Mostly because it flies in the face of everything that millions of British men and women and those in the Commonwealth have fought for for generations, and continue to fight for: the right to choose, and the right of freedom of speech and expression."

Google has also been the subject of criticism because it used only a small Remembrance Day poppy on its website. Labour MP Gerry Sutcliffe said it was "demeaning not to have something spectacular".
And could the entire fucking planet agree not to give a damn about what & how Google chooses to celebrate any particular day w/ it's stupid doodle? Jesus, Gerry Sutcliffe, you whining bitch, if you don't like what they've done stop bitching at us; buy some Google stock & see if they let you bitch & moan about your sad & petty concerns at the next stockholders' meeting. In the meantime keep your mouth the fuck shut.

Y'know, maybe there doesn't always need to be an England.