Monday, July 9, 2012

Ghoul Of The Day

We don't know which is more stupefying, pretending to give a flying fuck about America's sad collection of loser baby-killers or turning the phony concern into publicity for a corpse that never served, &, while it was alive, was pretty much opposed to whatever the troops delude themselves they're fighting for.
One can only wonder what Mrs. Breitbart & her children think of all this. Do they not care as long as the income insulates them from working? Maybe Andy sold the rights to himself to the ghouls carrying on his frauds & deceptions. All's fair in love & "Fuck you. War."

Sunday, July 8, 2012

"What are your thoughts on George Soros and his agenda for America?"

Yes, Brad Thor, what are your thoughts on the Soros agenda? Are these thoughts any different from the Glenn Beck fantasies you've swallowed whole? No?

Moving on then, could you advise us which subway stations should be reinforced against impending invasion by the mole people? Sasquatch? Does the Loch Ness monster disprove evolution? Today's the 65th anniv. of the Roswell, NM flying thing whatever. Where do you think Obama is hiding the aliens? How far up your ass does your head go?

We could go on, but why, when Mrs. Thomas's ghost-writer will take it from here, in Ginni's inimitable (What, seventh-grade?) book report style?
Brad Thor [Stop it! You're killing us w/ this "Brad Thor" bit. — Editor/Publisher] is a conservative literary culture warrior.

If you liked Jack Bauer and the TV series “24,” you’ll love the best-selling stories Thor weaves about warriors in the intelligence world waging battle to maintain our freedoms.

Thor, 43, is an old-fashioned patriot and political thriller author. His last book, “Full Black,” pits a former Navy SEAL Team Six member against a George Soros-like character who seeks to destabilize America. His next book, “Black List,” comes out later this month.

Noting Thor’s propensity to insert so many facts into his fictional novels, radio host Glenn Beck said Thor’s books should be referred to as “fact-ion.”
Wait, the guy typesweaves a best-selling story containing such facts as "The sky was blue-ish & the sun was warm," so it's all true?

PT 73 Sinks At Cedars-Sinai

Say what you will about Marty, yada, for this reporter Ernest Borgnine's defining rôle was always Lt. Cmdr. Quinton McHale. Simply because there are few telebision/film genres more amusingly inane than the service comedy, & McHale's Navy was our first exposure to the one-time Mr. Ethel Merman.

Now looking for an illustrative image — Oh for fucks' sake, did this load have this ready to be published this soon? OK, Ernie was 95, fair enough having an obit at the ready but Cheeze Louise, fuckit. We can't make that crap up. Literally.
Joe Flynn: Funnier than you thought.95. Mmhnh. Too long?

Maybe this will spur us to watch The Wild Bunch, which has been sitting in the DVR since 2 February. Not getting any younger, it appears.

Plus Which

Couldn't embed Brad Thor babbling to Ginni Thomas's head shot at Whiskey Fire, so we typed some crap mostly not at all the same there while pimping the item below.

Frankly, Internet, we're disappointed that this uncivil ugliness hasn't received the attention it deserves.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

SCOTUS Wkly. Wrap-Up:
"Fuck You. War."

The official SCOTUS isn't doing diddly this wk.; what's its most public spouse* up to?
Mrs. Thomas does not necessarily support or endorse the products, services or positions promoted in any advertisement contained herein, and does not have control over or receive compensation from any advertiser.
Just giving it away, apparently.Oh yes she did. Because knowing how people respond to questions about this fucking oafis as good a litmus test as any, we suppose.

Ooops! (This happens when we don't listen to the entirety of the droning. Coulda been finished by now.) The idea of "Leaders w/ Ginni Thomas" eliciting accloades to Breitbart was amusing enough, & reinforced by the shortened transcript at Tucker's Caller. Then we clicked play as we were embedding & assembling this drivel, & heard that, among other fantasies, author Thor wants to drive the "hard institutional left" into the sea.Per Thor, Breitbart iwas "our version of George Washington." (We kid you not. He said that. For posterity. At [2:30].) We can only imagine Brad sees himself as the Tea Party General Sherman, pushing the liberal lemmings from their elitist coastal enclaves. Because (hard, institutional) lefties have said bad things about talk-radio hosts & Michele Bachmann.

Best for last: Breitbart makes a ghost appearance w/ Brad Thor, to recite the Breitbart mantra: "FUCK YOU. WAR." Honest. You were warned, workers.
*Our memory is short, the socio-political culture changes, can't be arsed &c., but has there ever been a Supreme Spouse as public as Ms. Thomas? (She seldom actually shows on these little Q&As, almost as if her upper torso were 'phoning it in. Nice work if you can get it.) More fun to ask: Will she end up in a Martha Mitchell stylee?

WMDS

(We Miss Drum Solos)

Night Of The Living Filler

Never Ending

Friday, July 6, 2012

++Jaded

No point in having been there, but we've done, heard & seen that. Again & again. Doubt if we could get ourself to "care" if a gun were held to our head.

Shorter, just (Synchronicity!) seen on the telebision: "I've stopped listening; why are you still talking?"

Five Yrs. Later

It's still Friday.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Comedy Music

There Will Always Be An England, Part ...

Not every day does one see the Napoleonic Wars used for historical comparison.
The defence secretary, Philip Hammond, will set out how the regular Army will be cut from 102,000 troops to 82,000 by the end of the decade - its lowest level since the Napoleonic Wars.

Sky News has obtained details of the five infantry battalions that are to be scrapped as part of Government cuts.

They are 5 Scots - The Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders, one battalion of The Yorkshire Regiment, 2nd Battalion The Royal Regiment of Fusiliers, 3rd Battalion The Mercian Regiment (The Staffords) and 2nd Battalion The Royal Welsh Regiment.

Mayberry To The Stars

From 1953 (Kee-rist on a crutch, his show bidness career was older than we are.):On to 1979, & the fondly semi-remembered Salvage 1.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Keeping America Awful

You cannot get more American (& middle-middle-brow) than LIFE magazine. Add Al Capp for extra America.
Also, forgotten in the bookmarks until our memory was jogged.

More Fucking Lies About "America"

That teary-eyed eagle doesn't sound like that, & is probably of the female persuasion.

Representation recently acquired from illustrations of the last refuge of scoundrels (1540PDT).
Is your manhood threatened, patriot? Grab that gun a little tighter, pin-dick. Squeeze it hard.

Patriotard Round-Up

Only in America.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Remember When ...

Word On The Street

Live, earlier this afternoon.
Stencil &/or spraying technique need a little work.

Neapolitan Delight

May be useful for those desperate to mock. Comes in three colors: Us, them & the spectrum. Laugh as you will at where various sites are placed on that spectrum.

Sharing Is Caring*

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/03/tom-smith-tea-party-barack-obama-adolf-hitler_n_1647634.html?utm_hp_ref=elections-2012 Oh yeah, note that the 'bagger is concerned about what the Holy Founders wanted, as if that's important 200-some yrs. later.

http://www.newshoggers.com/blog/2012/07/hcr-waiting-time-note.html

http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/2012/jul/02/food-prices-rocket-us-harvest?INTCMP=SRCH

It doesn't take a degree in psychology to realize that vehement denials of stupidity are, you know, [shrugs, makes "meh" face]  denial.

WARNING: Frat boys at TheDC. Compare & contrast. (This "fiasco" is just an indication of how inane— oh ... Who? Fucking? Cares?)

*Original TypoTitle: "Sharing Id Caring."

Breaking News

Andy Griffith dead ...

For the living & local, we are advised by e-mail from Brother Bee Dub that Pete Escovedo & Orchestra
Pete and brother Coke were in Santana (and Azteca), his kid is Alejandro (of the Zeroes), and his kidette is Sheila E (as in Prince and several gorgeous covers of Modern Drummer), who sometimes plays with this bunch, wailing on the kit and looking beautiful. You try that.
are performing at the hideous temple o' commodity fetishism located at Hollywood Blah & Highland Ave. 1900ish. Free. (Otherwise we wouldn't mention it.)

Monday, July 2, 2012

Compare & Contrast

One or another of Sullivan's staff (Our emphases.):
"I want to be Jonathan Krohn, and I’m tired of being an ideology, and it’s not fun and it gets boring and it’s not who we are as individuals," - former 13-year-old CPAC star, Jonathan Krohn, revealing that he is, in fact, a conservative.

Which means that he cannot currently be a Republican.
Yeah, right.

The very next sentences in the Politico item:
But a quick rundown of his current political stances suggests a serious pendulum swing away from the right.

Gay marriage? In favor. Obamacare? “It’s a good idea.” Who would he vote for (if he could) in November? “Probably Barack Obama.” His favorite TV shows? “The Daily Show” and “The Colbert Report.” His favorite magazine? The New Yorker. And, perhaps telling of all, Krohn is enrolling this fall at a college not exactly known for its conservatism: New York University.

“One of the first things that changed was that I stopped being a social conservative,” said Krohn. “It just didn’t seem right to me anymore. From there, it branched into other issues, everything from health care to economic issues.… I think I’ve changed a lot, and it’s not because I’ve become a liberal from being a conservative — it’s just that I thought about it more. The issues are so complex, you can’t just go with some ideological mantra for each substantive issue.”
Out-thought by a 17-yr. old. Just fucking sad, Sully. Sad & pathetic. Can Sullivan be deported? Is he a damn U.S of A. citizen now? Can we lift it if he is? Been done to other naturalized fascisti.

From The Spam Trap: MURDER!!

buy cheap Lexapro online [url=] buy Lexapro without doctor [/url] buy lexapro medication online
Someone would like you to buy Lexapro®. Our advice? (We know you need it.) Fucking don't.

Following our first attempted/threatened murder spree, after it was decided that Depakote® & the other two horseshit drugs that were being pumped into the sacred temple that is our body were a bit much for us, we were given Lexapro® in a five mg./day dose. Didn't do shit for our mental state, so the dosage was increased & increased (eventually to 30 mg./day) & the only effect it's had on us is what seems to be permanent tinnitus. We haven't taken any of the useless shit in almost four yrs., but the bells are still ringing. How does having a constant high-pitched whine (Above & beyond the sound of reactionary cretins going on about "Freedumb!") in our ears make us less likely to want to murder virtually every humanoid on this sad & sorry fucking rock located a trillion zillion light yrs. away from nowhere?

Fuck you, Medical Science, the Psychiatric Suppression of Working People Industry, & everyone/everything the hell else.

Burgers Or Bullets:
A Nation Kills Itself, & Everyone Else

A trio of Yankee killer clowns:
Image & text lifted from Randy Andy's researchers; don't bother clicking.
Kuwait, the second-most obese nation in the world after the US, can trace its obesity problem to the first Gulf war:
That was when hundreds of thousands of U.S. troops descended on the Gulf nation, bringing with them Taco Bell, Hardee’s, Baskin-Robbins, and Nathan’s Famous hot dogs, among others. "The [war] was the demarcation line," says Dr. Abdulwahab Naser Al-Isa, at the Department of Community Medicine & Behavioral Sciences at Kuwait University. Andrew Smith, the author of the Encyclopedia of Junk Food and Fast Food, says, "The American military went in, and obviously they wanted fast food. Therefore, the number of fast-food establishments expanded exponentially." And Kuwaitis fell in love.
(Photo: U.S. Army Sergeant James Linville from Brandon, Florida and Justin Herdman from Dover, Arkansas of the 2-82 Field Artillery, 3rd Brigade, 1st Cavalry Division, relax as they order McDonald's meals after arriving in Kuwait from Camp Adder in Iraq on December 7, 2011 at Camp Virginia, near Kuwait City, Kuwait. Lt. Wilson had been looking forward to fast food after spending seven months serving in Iraq. By Joe Raedle/Getty Images)
We have no idea who the "Lt. Wilson" mentioned above is, but it certainly demonstrates how thorough Sullivan's staff are.

A bit later: This excellent illustration, by Lydia Wong, is from the link in the above blockquote.

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Jays Suck!

Moved from White Sox/Yanks to the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim/Toronto BJs game on the glass teat, in which the Blue Jays were defeated & the Angels announcers kept reminding all it was indeed "Canada Day" in Toronto. How discourteous of the Serafinas to beat Canada's only remaining MLB team on their big day, & in their park. USAmericans are such jerks. 'Scuse us, Canookies.

Ear Worm

Self-inflicted, but now we must hear the entire studio recording from 1966: ♬River of Shit/River of Shit♫Progress: Almost 40 yrs. ago they'd been swimming in the river o' shit for 20 yrs. Now we've been in it for nigh unto 60 yrs.

Unauspicious Beginning
To The Remainder Of 2012

Woke (not much) before 1100, figured we might as well get up as the Dodger game would be on soon enough. Turns out, not until much later: It's the Sunday night game on ESPN, & now we are stuck w/ White Sox at Yankees. Not completely stuck, as we can switch between the suck on WGNAmerica & the same suck w/ different (Yet equally sucky; how do they manage that?) announcers on TBS. Freedom of choice!!

Oh, Canada!

It's their day or sumpin'.
Pirates!! We knew it!
Note to Canucks, Frogs, & Froggo-Canucks: This month belongs to the United Snakes. We don't need you sneaky furrin fucks trying to get your national natal day in three days ahead of us, or ten days after.

P.S.: The Canucks don't really call their aerobatic team the "Snowbirds," do they? They do? Really?
Snowbirds over Parliament in Ottawa. July 1, 2008.
Note to our several Canadian readers: We tease because we sorta like you, & congrats on getting the Witch of Windsor off your backs.

Only In America

Golden Corral? Brass Pig-Sty would be our call.The fucking non-stop chocolate slop fountain wasn't enough?(Above tune added 1245PDT, as if anyone gives a shit.) RIP, Tuli.

Half Way Through Another

Yet, six months to go.

Saturday, June 30, 2012

John Philip Sousa (IV) Sends Us Mail

Dear Patriot,

Barack Obama's crazed vendetta to destroy America's toughest Sheriff is kicking into high gear.

Already left-wing billionaire George Soros has pledged to spend $10 million to defeat Joe Arpaio.

Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano is trying to stop Sheriff Joe from doing his job.

And Obama's Attorney General, Eric Holder , is using millions of your tax dollars to sue Joe in an attempt to force this national hero out of office.

The American people MUST unite behind Sheriff Joe Arpaio and make sure this patriot is reelected this fall!

Please make an emergency donation of $15, $20, $25, $50, $100, $250 or whatever you can afford to help reelect Joe Arpaio. We need all the support we can muster to beat back Obama's multi-million dollar campaign of lies and smears and we need it now.

Barack Hussein Obama is obsessed with destroying Joe Arpaio. He is using all his power, political connections and money to defeat this single Arizona country sheriff.

Joe Arpaio is a national hero because he respects the rule of law and fights against Obama's left wing agenda.

Sheriff Joe stands up to the illegal alien lobby and is enforcing our immigration laws.

He refuses to coddle criminals and makes them work while in jail.

And Joe Arpaio even conducted his own independent investigation into Obama's "birth certificate" and found it to be a fraud!

That's why Barack Obama and his leftist allies want to destroy this man. He is a symbol of everything they hate. And a threat to their radical liberal agenda.

Billionaire George Soros is even pledging to spend as much as $10 million just to defeat this one local sheriff!

Think about what is happening here. The President of the Unites States and a billionaire friend of his have made defeating a single county Sheriff one of their top political goals of 2012!

Sheriff Joe needs you. Please help reelect Joe Arpaio by making the most generous contribution you can.

We don't have much time. Americans for Sheriff Joe will be massively outspent by Barack Obama and his allies.

Obama has no problem using all the resources of the federal government plus George Soros' millions to crush Joe Arpaio.

So we need your help today.

Please do what you can. America NEEDS Sheriff Joe Arpaio in office to keep fighting!

Remember, Joe Arpaio is simply a tough cop who wants to protect his constituents and the people of America. He's not a professional politician. He doesn't have any billionaires funding his campaign.

He needs ordinary Americans like you to step forward.

Please make the most generous contribution you can to the Americans for Sheriff Joe campaign.

Joe Arpaio is battling the combined might of at least two federal cabinet agencies, a left-wing billionaire and the President of the United States.

He needs your help.

Thank you in advance for anything you can do.
What a crock. All bullshit, but we especially enjoy the "Sheriff Joe" bit. Makes him sound like a kiddie cartoon show host, but of course the authoritarian "mind" loves to be infantilized by big strong men. There's so much crap in there otherwise we can't be arsed, although you can't beat "And Joe Arpaio even conducted his own independent investigation into Obama's 'birth certificate' and found it to be a fraud!" for sheer shit.

George WORST Bush

A book is excerpted in Salon. Besides pointing out what a complete piece of spoiled-child-of-the-pig-elites shit the much lesser Bush was, here's something you America-is-the-greatest-shitpile-ever chanting morons should take into consideration.
This was — there is no kinder word for it — delusional. It rested on the idea that America could foster world peace by spreading throughout the world its democratic ideals, viewed widely in the West as universal. But they aren’t universal. Particularly in the Middle East, many people consider American values to be an assault on their own cherished cultural sensibilities. And America’s political and economic models are losing force in the consciousness of other peoples around the world. China, for example, competes with America not just economically and increasingly in the military sphere, but also in its view of the best approach to government. The China model is stirring interest and enthusiasm around the globe. As Stefan Halper of the University of Cambridge in England writes, “Given a choice between market democracy and its freedoms and market authoritarianism and its high growth, stability, improved living standards, and limits on expression — a majority in the developing world and in many middle-sized, non-Western powers prefer the authoritarian model.”
That's right, world-wide & in North America, most humanoids are cretins who would have little or nothing to express beyond "Rah rah, go team," were they allowed to do so, so all they want is a decent standard of living, & then more fucking useless plastic crap. And if a few union organizers or human rights advocates get beaten to death along the way, so fucking what, right?

Toughest Question Ever

Michael Medved looks at Republican Vice-Presidential candidates. Not a distinguished record in the last 50 yrs., & he admits it, but of course he still insists on keeping his silly looking dick-duster & the rest of his head up his ass while admitting it, especially when former half-term governor of Alaska Sarah Palin ("a strikingly attractive mother of five") is under his microscope.
But Sarah Palin endured the sort of questioning (“What newspapers do you read?”) never faced by more familiar candidates, while controversies about her qualifications and competence upstaged the campaign’s substantive messages and its attempted challenges to Barack Obama’s own limited experience.
Really, Medved? Still on about her reading habits? (More accurately, her lack of such habits.)

Then he goes on to call for multi-religioned liar & would-be Fulgencio Batista Sen. Marco Rubio (Jerk-Humid Hell) to be the GOP V-P nominee. Sure, fine, whatever. But what exactly are Sen. Rubio's qualifications to be President, should Romney be elected & then leave for his Mormon post-life planet? Apparently (But how can we be sure?) Rubio was born in these United Snakes, but his parents were not natchul-borned city-zens of these United Snakes, were they?

Bigger & Better

Screw you & your tiny "urban" centers, rest of America. No wonder these United Snakes are so effed up. Look at you, like rats in cages.
Blah blah blah & yada here.

Planet Report

Record temps set: Sweat pigs, sweat!

Friday, June 29, 2012

Thesaurus For Dummies

English Only

When the fuck did "surgery" replace "operation?" Most often heard as, "Athletic figure so & so has had three knee surgeries?" although it's not limited to the world o' sports.

Hollywood Decay

Dunno if we've mentioned it before, but the absolutely worst show on the telebision, bar none, is something called Cheaters. Just fucking horrible. Assholes stalk the kinds of low-lifes who cheat on each other, & then, after arranging a potentially violent confrontation between all parties involved, give them fucking lectures about morality. Some of you may remember COPS, where some fucking pig was always ready to lecture the loser in a wife-beater/prostitute/drug user who'd been caught in some petty crime & then tried to flee through the trailer park. Cheaters is worse, possibly because not every cop on COPS gave a lecture, but Cheaters has the bullshit morality built in.

Not that it makes any difference to us, or that we give a crap about Hollywood "royalty" & their douchewad descendants, but the new host of the program will be Clark Gable's grandson, Clark Gable III, so moral himself that he was arrested for shining a laser at a police helicopter. Off the pig, yes please, but not over residential areas, as there is a (slim) possibility that decent humans (Maybe that's not possible, in retrospect.) could be underneath when the pig loses his rotors & hits the ground.

Added schadenfreude: The younger Gable is taking over the show from former host Joey Greco, who was once stabbed in the line of duty. Did not know that, but it could not have happened to a more deserving person.

Testi-Lying

In other news, it is reported that the sun rises in the east, & every day, too.

Crime Report Manipulation Is Common Among New York Police, Study Finds

The results showed that pressure on officers to artificially reduce crime rates, while simultaneously increasing summonses and the number of people stopped and often frisked on the street, has intensified in the last decade, the two criminologists who conducted the research said in interviews this week.

“I think our survey clearly debunks the Police Department’s rotten-apple theory,” said Eli B. Silverman, one of the criminologists, referring to arguments that very few officers manipulated crime statistics. “This really demonstrates a rotten barrel.”
Fourth Amendment, pigs!! Ever heard of it? And: Fuck. The. Police!

Cracker Aristocracy & Plantation America

Many, many paragraphs, but might be worth the effort to wrap your lips around all those difficult syllables.
Which brings us to that other great historical American nobility -- the plantation aristocracy of the lowland South, which has been notable throughout its 400-year history for its utter lack of civic interest, its hostility to the very ideas of democracy and human rights, its love of hierarchy, its fear of technology and progress, its reliance on brutality and violence to maintain “order,” and its outright celebration of inequality as an order divinely ordained by God.
Killing an aristocrat is an act of self-defense. Stand your ground!

Get Unhinged!

Oddly mutant-looking Matthew Vadum (seen here, left, w/ well-known Constitutional supporter/convicted criminal G. Gordon Liddy)
wants a revolution. He may not get the one he wants.

Entering The Gulch

Abandon hope, all who enter.

Can't Get Anything Right

Er, correct, not "right." (We emphasize.)
William Temple of Brunswick, Georgia is perhaps the only other protester with a costume to rival those of the belly-dance act. A de facto mascot for the Tea Party since its inception, he’s outfitted, tricornered hat (resplendent with craft-store feathers) to boot, in Revolutionary War garb—though rather ironically, his green and red felt uniform is a replica of what German mercenaries wore while fighting for the British. Temple seems not to mind, slipping in and out of a Scottish brogue, part of his act imitating Button Gwinnett, one of the first signers of the Declaration of Independence.

“I’ve been protesting the federal government for 32 years,” Temple says, attributing his frustration with the system to his tenure as a Secret Service agent (he pulls out his commission book as proof). He was not impressed with what he saw as the spendthrift habits of the federal bureaucracy. “I’ve seen them change out their desks every year whether they needed to or not.”
HAS NEVER HAPPENED EVER IN ANY CORPORATION IN HUMAN HISTORY, RIGHT?
His staunch opposition to the Affordable Care Act hits close to home: Temple is upset that his 25-year-old daughter has gone back on his insurance since the law passed. But the ill will cuts both ways: His children are, Temple reports, “embarrassed of me.”
What a fucking jerk/homophobe/sexist. The Hessian uniform indicates his comprehensive grasp of history, doesn't it? And it's at least one instance of children not continuing the idiocy of their parents. A few more of these clowns telling their own spawn to get off their insurance may be helpful to the forces of decency. Maybe when "Button's" daughter hits 26 & is no longer on his insurance, she'll put him out of his misery w/ a strategically placed pillow.

Prank Zappa

Some guy from the Inland Empire managed to get two items from this long-ago event, to which we were directed by LA Observed.
Photo from LAO, whose contempt for their audience
is demonstrated by their addition of that arrow.
FZ would not have approved of the leaf. Hippies.
Anyway, we'd never heard of the above silliness, although we did driveride all the fuggin' way to Pomona to see the gig it celebrated, 37+ YRS. AGO!! (Chee-ziz! That's a loooong time, even for a humanoid. Wouldn't have bothered w/ this item if we hadn't been there.) This is probably about how it sounded:

Someone Didn't Like Nora Ephron

Lotsa "wasn't she swell" yada 'bout Nora Ephron following her death, let's look at a counterpoint in the interest of even-handedness:
Am I missing something? Did Nora Ephron do something great once in her seventy-odd years that I never heard about? She cure cancer and I was never told? She make an uncharacteristically watchable movie and hide it in a vault for posterity and we’re just discovering it now?
Ha ha. You sucked & now you're dead. (We really are awful. And don't care one way or the other about Nora Ephron & her workanything, really.)

Epistemic Closure Continues

Jim (@jtLOL) Treacher or whatever his legal name is of The Daily Caller:
What the hell is this sissy "protecting" himself from?

Extra points: "Don't eat my dog." Eat this & die, nitwit.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Au Revoir, Minitel

The Minitel was dreamed up in the 1970s when France was lagging behind on telecommunications, with the nation's homes underserved by telephones – particularly in rural areas. Amid a technological dawn in France, it was, with the TGV railway, a matter of political and national pride.
We remember the clunky black 'phone we had in Paris an infinity ago. No idea how old it was, but it would always make one loud click about three secs. before it would actually ring.

Big Fucking Help, MLB

In case you are visually impaired, MLB.com offers you the option to listen to their verification dealie. How kind. Except that if one is "visually impaired," how in the name of hell do they expect one to read this, what, eight pixels-high line of type?
Fuck you sideways, Bud Selig. How'd you like us to poke your goddam car dealer eyes the fuck out& then ask you to see & use that tiny type?

And fuck the Dodgers, who, as we predicted, would swoon in June. (While crooning for the moon.) They've hit six home runs so far this mo. Gee-ziz!!

(Well, they just scored a couple of runs, for the first time in several games. Fucking losers.)

Kardashian Courthouse Crazies

We love the recorded effluvia of loons, & here's a double dose.

This isn't really unexpected of Hollywood types. (We know we won't make a sex tape w/o a witnessing goat or sheep. Unicorns are nice, but optional.)
Kimberly's suit alleged Kardashian, Humphries and Sinanaj were making a lot of noise in the next room. The suit alleged when Kimberly looked through the peep hole, he saw them making a sex tape.

"It was weird because on the floor was barnyard animals staring at them, sheep, two goats, unicorn, and I thought they were there as witnesses," the suit alleged.

Kimberly's suit additionally asserts Sinanaj "was bobbing her head up and down with a voodoo doll in her hand," when Kimberly yelled through the peephole that he was trying to sleep.

"And Kris said, 'mind your business pip squeek' and I told Kris, ‘I got a sling shot' and ‘my middle name is David' ‘you are no Goliath,' the suit continued.

Kimberly said in his suit he would report Humphries to "JayZ, the Russian, and TMZ.com."

"And Kris went irate on steroid rage, ripped the door open dragged me into the room, put a shot gun to my head that he got from Nets player Jayson Williams and forced me to watch the three defendants have sex with another for 5 hr's against my will," the suit said.

The suit continued saying Sinanaj hit Kimberly with an RC Cola Can and Kardashian forced him to watch "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" reruns for six consecutive hours.

"I defacated on my self, barnyard animals snipped at my feet, Chris is laughing at me like the Jolly Green Giant, then a knock on the door, Kim Kardashian opened and it was Charlie Sheen, who had a bag full of ecstasy and set ‘lets get this party started,'" the suit asserts.

Kimberly alleged every two minutes, Kardashian would beat him in the head with her engagement ring, which he said caused bruises and a broken wrist.

"Kris put me in a pretzel, saying he is a chiropractor, and him passed gas in the room, and I passed out from it, and woke up at a truck stop, wallet gone, Kardashian lip stick all over my clothes," the suit stated.

"I'm violated, humiliated, and my voice is circulating on this Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries sex tape which puts me through public humiliation, I face imminent danger and bodily harm, I seek a restraining order from the defendants I pray this court for relief."
This goes a bit farther.
Romano's suit meanwhile alleged he "stumbled upon defendants" at a secret Al-Qaeda training camp while "deep in the hills" of West Virginia.

Romano alleged defendants pledged allegiance to Al-Qaeda, burned the U.S. flag, stomped on President Barack Obama's picture and then Kanye West performed a concert for all Al Qaeda members.

He also asserted Kim Kardashian launched a rocket at him and Bruce Jenner threw a grenade at his head.

"They all drank Jim Jones juice and then the defendants got shovels and were digging coal and fracking at mines in West Virginia to get fuel to make weapons of mass destruction and Kris Jenner was enriching uranium," the suit said.
We can't get affordable/mandatory mental health care in this country soon enough.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Housekeeping Warning:
RAGE & THREATS!!

Let the cable bill go unpaid too effing long* & had to shell out serious money to remain connected, so expect posting around here to be more vicious than usual (DIE, YOU FUCKING PIGS, JUST FUCKING DIE!!!) for the next wk., until our gummint money gets here & we can afford cigarettes & meat again. (WE WILL KILL YOU FOR MEAT IF WE HAVE TO!)

*Why should we pay them one red cent? IT SHOULD BE FREE!!

Fast & Furious Fascism

Rational beings might wonder where the OUTRAGE is when the U.S. government arms dangerous criminal drug gangs"police forces" in these United Snakes, as documented at Danger Room. Arming these pin-dicked compensating murderers not just w/ semi-auto rifles, either, but infantry fighting vehicles & the like.
“There’s been an unmistakable trend toward more and more militarization of American law enforcement,” Norm Stamper, former Chief of the Seattle Police Department and author of Breaking Rank: A Top Cop’s Exposé of the Dark Side of American Policing, told Danger Room. During his tenure in Seattle, he clamped down on the WTO protests in 1999, the infamous “Battle in Seattle.” It’s a response he now calls “disastrous.”

According to Stamper, having small local police departments go around with tanks and military gear has “a chilling effect on any effort to strengthen the relationship” between the community and the cops. And that’s not the only danger. “There’s no justification for them having that kind of equipment, for one obvious reason, and that is if they have it, they will find a way to use it. And if they use it they will misuse it altogether too many times,” said Stamper. What happened a year ago in Arizona, when army veteran Jose Guerena was shot down during a drug raid that found no drugs in his house, could very well be an example of that misuse.
We also note that this is hardly "news." Items here labeled "The Militarized Society" have been warning of this for several yrs.* (If there weren't 2,325 items labeled as such we'd try to find the first one. Nope, easy to find: The second load of crap we typed here was already on it. And in over five yrs., things have only worsened.)
*First brought to our attention in the '90s by our friend Peabody, who read about it in The Nation.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Let's Murder Matt Yglesias!

A greater analysis of Yglesias' worry that domestic slaves might receive a living wage is offered here, but we don't want to get into economics, just simple humanity, something that Matt Yglesias left behind him several jobs ago.
Immigration skeptics often act as if there’s some fixed pool of jobs that we compete for. But it’s obvious that in a world without immigrant housecleaners, we wouldn’t have an equal number of much-higher-paid native-born maids. What we’d have is less housecleaning being done on a market basis and more being done as unpaid work at home. For many middle-class families that would be pure waste. Time spent cleaning the toilet that could be spent on higher-value labor, on leisure, or on quality time with friends and family.
And the person (woman, really) who swabs that middle-class toilet eight hrs. a day, & perhaps spends another hr. or two a day on public transportation? She doesn't deserve "quality time w/ friends & family." She's poor, you know, & her friends & family aren't really that important, are they? What really counts is the five mins. saved on toilet cleaning that middle-class mom can spend w/ her spoiled brats. Except that maid-nanny is pulling mom's weight there too.

Let's not leave it w/ Yglesias. The other members of the upper-middle non-toilet-scrubbing class should be wiped from the national bowl as well. Put some Clorox in there while you're at it, Maria.

UPDATE (1530PDT 27 June 2012): Mr. The Bastard reminds all of the same approach applied by Texas crackers. We now know w/ absolute certainty which side Yglesias is on. Wonder how much he pays his bond-servant? Wouldn't surprise us a bit if he gets his "help" from this sort of place. Quality time, baby!!

Life On The Street

Whoa.
The knowledgeable Los Angeles history aficionados at the Vintage Los Angeles page on Facebook located this scene as the 1950s at Santa Monica Boulevard and Fairfax, known then as the Crescent Junction on the Pacific Electric rail network. (Note the store is Crescent Drugs.) The car is about to turn right and head west on Santa Monica. The camera is looking to the northeast, where the tracks will connect with Sunset Boulevard. The corner is now occupied by a Whole Foods market.

The photo was posted by Jerome Melgar.
We'll point out that the corner is now occupied by a Starbucks w/ a pool hall above it; the Whole Paycheck Foods is across the street on the northeast corner. The camera is looking northwest. Now pardon us, we have to wise up some Facebook morons.

Condemned

Careful: Loud! (Always check levels.)

Monday, June 25, 2012

No Exit

Fuck socio-politics, fuck culture, get this/fuck that, &c. Let's draw back from the desire to commit murdergenocide & relax a bit. We find the version of this number to be both refreshing &, well, undemanding.Spoke too soon:

Titties & Burgers

We are all prostitutes. Except the pimps.
In this May 16, 2012 photo, Rose Dimov serves lunch at the Tilted Kilt, in Tempe, Ariz.
The Tilted Kilt is part of a booming niche in the beleaguered restaurant industry
known as “breastaurants,” or sports bars that feature scantily-clad waitresses.
(AP Photo/Matt York)
Now it's Hooters Lite to the rescue of the "beleaguered" industry?

Here's the part (One of several, actually.) where you throw up in your mouth a little. Or a lot.
"We believe in feeding the ego before feeding the stomach," he says. Or as the website of the mountain lodge-themed restaurant states, "Twin Peaks is about you, 'cause you're the man!"
Titties yes, but ...
"We want to be very PG-13," he says. Its "class in all things" motto also means servers can't have tattoos, piercings or dyed hair.

Rose Dimov, a 22-year-old waitress at Tilted Kilt, says her job is no different from any other waitressing gig; make guests feel special and ensure they have a good time. As an aspiring ballroom dancer, she also says she's not fazed by the revealing outfit that comes with the job.

"Going to a restaurant should be an experience," Dimov says. "We're entertainers."
As if Ms. Dimov is sporting a natural hair color.

And here's where you throw up not just in your mouth (Cover that keyboard!):
The owner of Tilted Kilt is just as frank. "We hire only spectacular talent," Lynch said. "They have to fit into that costume."
Spectacular! Talent!

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Early To Bed ...

Meh: Had we risen at an absurd hr., not only might we have made it to the big dumb rock opening (ignored below) we could have witnessed big dumb rock Pamela Geller wigging out just down the street:
If you're in LA, come to the Jewish Federation at 6505 Wilshire Boulevard at 11AM. We will be protesting this craven capitulation of the Jewish Federation to Islamic supremacist Jew-haters.

In a jaw-dropping act of cowardice and submission, LA Federation is not allowing ZOA (Zionist Organization of America) to hold the event where I was scheduled to speak this morning.

[...]

Proud Jews and lovers and free speech will be protesting outside the LA Jewish Federation building at 11 am, and another venue will be announced shortly.
[Via TBogg's Twitfeedstream.]
Good thing we aren't in this for the money.

Fuck It, Then

Idly contemplated a visit today. Saw these.
(Photo by Amanda Schwartz/LAist)
And these. Nagonna be arsed now.

Going Apeshit: The Beginning Of The End

Looks as if it's over for your species. Think your breeding group is the crown of creation? Think again, if a damn dirty ape hasn't beaten you to it. You may not have a tail or fur; doesn't mean shit to a tree:
Zoo associate director Don Moore says: "I've got a Ph.D., for God's sake, you would think I could out-think an orang and I can't."
Icing on the cake? The devil-boxes are in on it:
One reason scientists are learning more about animal intellect is computers, including touch screens. In some cases, scientists are setting up banks of computers available to primates 24-7. In the French word recognition experiment, Fagot found he got more and better data when it was the baboons' choice to work.

Animal cognition researcher Steve Ross at the Lincoln Park Zoo in Chicago agrees.

"The apes in our case seem to be working better when they have that control, that choice to perform," he said.
See? Can't be more humanoid than to slack.

The struggle for self-determination continues:
Some of the shifts in scientific understanding of animals are leading to ethical debates. When Emory University researcher Lori Marino in 2001 co-wrote a groundbreaking study on dolphins recognizing themselves in mirrors, proving they have a sense of self similar to humans, she had a revelation.

"The more you learn about them, the more you realize that they do have the capacity and characteristics that we think of as a person," Marino said. "I think it's impossible to ignore the ethical implications of these kinds of findings."

Dealers

Tension mounts. And mounts:
Twit from.

Flying Saucer Day

65 yrs. ago Kenneth Arnold blew the whole mess wide open.

Friday, June 22, 2012

I Have In My Handbag A List Of ...

On about the same level of seriousness as "A woman told me her daughter got an HPV vaccination & it turned her into a retard,"
Bachmann: It appears that there has been deep penetration in the halls of our United States government by the Muslim Brotherhood. The Muslim Brotherhood has been found to be an unindicted co-conspirator on terrorism cases and yet it appears that there are individuals who are associated with the Muslim Brotherhood who have positions, very sensitive positions, in our Department of Justice, our Department of Homeland Security, potentially even in the National Intelligence Agency. I am calling upon the Justice Department and these various departments to investigate through the Inspector General to see who these people are and what access they have to our information.
Yes, she said it.
There is also another issue that is going on that doesn’t get talked about at all in the media and it is very sensitive. We currently have orders by President Obama for a purge in the FBI and now in the military of any training materials that teach FBI agents or people in the military about Islam and these materials are being purged. So the motivations behind terrorism and the understanding of the ideology of why people are committing terrorist acts, that is being purged out of the training materials. There was a request for this to be done by over forty Muslim groups and the President ordered this purge to occur and it’s happening now, they are purging libraries. We have other governments that have censored libraries but not the American government, now the American government is purging in the libraries in the FBI and in our military any training materials that could in any way be construed as negative about Islam.
This is all so deluded & paranoid it would make more sense to believe that the M.B. is penetrating our halls, & these two buffoons & others are trying to discredit anyone who points it out. Because Representative Bachmann's adviser is certifiable.

Mitt Romney's Five Sons: Our Dad Is A PranksterStupid Jerk

Mittens R-Money, looking more like a spoiled brat jerk every day. Presidential material? You betcha.How stupid & awful are these five fucks? "And now we do it to our kids, naturally." That awful. Few better summations of the conservative brain-set.

Return Of The Monocled, Top-Hatted, Waistcoated Plutocrat

Cartoonist shorthand getting more polarizing.

People Were Too Happier Then!

Photographic proof (This is the best reproduction the Internet offers?):
We were reminded by this latest outrage against all of America & all it stands for, & noticed a distinct lack of joy in contemporary America.
C'mon, put a smile on that face!

MOR (Stay Out Of It)

Here it comes again ... "Pragmatic Center" ... yada yada ... problem solving ... blah blah blah ... eyes glazing over ...
A majority of voters (54%) are Problem Solving Voters (PSVs), which is defined as someone who:
— When voting for national office, chooses candidates who are focused on solving problems rather than the candidates who align most closely with their party affiliation
— If a member of a political party, somewhat often or frequently votes for candidates outside of their party for national office

94% of Independents are Problem Solving Voters, compared to 30% of Democrats and 33% of Republicans
— Problem Solving Voters are discouraged with the current state of our country—only 29% think the country is heading in the right direction, compared to 42% of non-PSVs
— Only 16% of PSVs believe that the current leaders in Washington are able to get things done; 84% believe we ultimately need a new group of leaders who are focused on solving problems

If the 2012 Presidential election were held today, Mitt Romney would win the PSV vote 51-49, while Barack Obama would win the non-PSV vote 52-48
—This is in contrast to the 2008 election, when Obama carried the PSV vote 48-37
—On specific issues, PSVs see Romney as more of a problem solving candidate for Tax Policy (55%), Deficit Reduction (58%), and Immigration (51%), and see Obama as more of a problem solving candidate for Healthcare (59%)
Sure, mediocrities should be elected to represent mediocre Americans. Why not?

This remains sound advice:

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Sweet Blood Of Jesus!!

We thought we were a pathetic unhappy loser, but luckily for our self-esteem, there is always Kathryn Jean Lopez, as viewed through Alex Pareene's jaundiced eye. (Our emphasis.)
Lopez just seems damaged, and dumb. All of modern life plainly makes her miserable. She seems happy only at Mass, which she frequently live-tweets. Her Twitter feed, which used to be made up primarily of normal people things like baseball and the weather, is now often just an odd series of often slightly differentiated links to her articles, all of which have bizarre, obscure headlines, and all of which are about how degraded and horrible society is, besides the pope, who is swell.
We feel so much better about ourself now.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

There's Hope

The days will be getting shorter, at least.

Ta Gueule!

You Aren’t the Only One with Crappy
Cell Reception at Dodger Stadium

Theoconomy

That famed 27% of USAmericans who are deluded may be as large as 31%. We're sure it's w/in the margin of loon error either way.

As we suspected (Our prejudices confirmed; why should we question it, although Baylor is a hotbed of academic leftism.):
To put this more concretely, approximately 31 percent of Americans, many of whom are white evangelical men, believe that God is steering the United States economy, thus fusing their religious and economic interests. These individuals believe in what I call an “Authoritative God.” An Authoritative God is thought to be actively engaged in daily activities and historical outcomes. For those with an Authoritative God, value concerns are synonymous with economic concerns because God has a guiding hand in both. Around two-thirds of believers in an Authoritative God conjoin their theology with free-market economics, creating a new religious-economic idealism. Nearly one-fifth of American voters hold this viewpoint, signaling that it can be a major political force.

Religious-economic idealism is the belief that the free-market works because God is guiding it. (Its adherents are, of course, not your typical laissez-faire, Ayn Rand devotees.) The popularity of this ideology explains two supposed paradoxes. First, it indicates why some religious working-class Americans have embraced the GOP. It is not that these individuals ignore their class interests, but rather that they believe issues of abortion and gay marriage are linked to whether God is willing to help solve both social ills and their economic woes.
The author advises not to bother asking what's wrong w/ Kansas; the contradictions there are in our minds, not in what passes for a mind among the Kansans, who have a mighty gawd indeed in Mammon, Moloch, or whatever his name is.

Yesterday's History Lesson

We'd foolishly believed it impossible to demonstrate greater ignorance than has already been proudly paraded before us, but not only has it been done again, it's been doubled down upon. We'd type "Shoot us now, we're begging you" but this "student of history" would.
In addition to the Armenian genocide and the Holocaust, Mr. Christofanelli also said gun control may have contributed the enslavement of African Americans.

“Well, blacks weren’t allowed to own guns in the south, that’s a historical fact as well,” said Mr. Christofanelli. “So, it would seem that the argument would apply there as well.”

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Uh-Huh

Came to exactly the same conclusion about the inane Bachmann claim, & fully intended to/considered/mulled over typing as much,
This reminds me of nothing so much as that time Michele Bachmann went on television and said that a woman told her that her daughter got the HPV vaccine and "suffered mental retardation as a result." Everybody mocked Bachmann for that, so why isn't everyone doing the same thing to Romney?
but Paul Waldman wakes up hrs. before we do.

Rootsman Hr.

Totally righteous:We are all prostitutes:Too funny (As if that were possible. Also, NSFW [language] 'though we don't suppose many actually employed people are rockin' jams while indentured.):Version (Note young Porter Wagoner, sans rhinestones & embroidery.):

Summer's Almost Here

Time for spring cleaningsweeping under the media center, allowing us to present what the view from our window would be if there weren't manly inches+ of telebision in front of it.

Monday, June 18, 2012

Too Schaden-Laden To Ignore

Big Mike Huckabee Hound reads the riot act to the oldest & least sufferable of the Palin Princesses, Bristol. ('Though we've a suspicion that youngest princess Piper will be the real story. Hell, she might even do something positive, just to show her family. One can only hope.)And lest we forget some of the challenges Huck's own children have faced, a reminder from a time so long ago that Huckabilly was a possibly viable Republican presidential nominee.

What's Wrong W/ Romney?

What isn't?
If he weren't such a terrible candidate, he would understand that he has a big problem with relating to ordinary folk. He would also understand that this problem is only a problem insofar as the media find particular statements and incidents that illustrate it. He would also understand that if you visit a place that ordinary people are likely to visit—a convenience store, for instance—it's probably not a good idea to later describe what you saw there as though you had just been to the pyramids of Giza or got a secret look at the iPhone 5.

If he weren't such a terrible candidate, Mitt Romney would also understand how much political reporters love, love, love historical campaign references. Every political reporter can't wait to show their viewers or readers how great their memory is, to pull out how much today's event reminds them of something that happened when they were working on their first campaign. And amazement at an electronic device inside a store is just a blinking red light that screams "George H.W. Bush and the scanner!!!"
Isn't he a terrible candidate because he's pretty much a terrible human being? Seems to have a little of that G.W. Bush incuriosity too.

Indeed, it appears that Mittens & Mrs. Mittens aren't interested in much beyond tribalism & the sad evidence that their reproductive organs once worked.
Romney was responding to a question from WJR Detroit's Frank Beckmann, who asked Romney if her family would be vacationing abroad as frequently as the Obamas.

"I doubt that," Romney replied. "Our vacations and our happiness come from being with our children and our grandchildren."

[...]

Ann Romney didn't rule out vacationing at all, noting the Romney family has their "own places for that."

"When we take a vacation, it'll be with our children and grandchildren," she repeated.
Really now? These two fucks profess to believe that in the hereafter they & their spawn will be sealed to each other "for time and all eternity" (on their own personal planet, of course) but before an eternity w/ Tagg, Tuck, Toke, Turkey & Trots, their vanilla sister-wives & their various sprouts, they can't think of anyone else w/ whom to hang during their few yrs. on this mortal coil?

These people are not normal, & not in a good way.

Not Without A Protex

Surprised us to see the Angry Samoans' Back From Samoa at the top (reverse-order list, ha) of the "20 Greatest L.A. Punk Albums of All Time" list the L.A. Weekly stretched from Tuesday through Thursday of last wk. in a pathetic effort to get more clicks than they deserve. Perhaps not so surprising from the Weekly, a shot of the Samoans in the Jeff (Tales of Headband Glory) Dahl era, post-BfS. (Although it's surprising to see the photo.)
No, J.D. had nothing to do w/ Back From Samoa.
And 'though we hadn't expected Back From Samoa to be listed, we sure as hell thought FEAR: The Record would be. Wevver.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Burning

Flames from the High Park Fire 300-400 ft in the air
near East White Pine Mtn
- @northfortynews

Bang, Whimper, Whatever, Let's Roll!

Lovely illustration, & good news. Astronomers had theorized it'd be five billion yrs. before Sol gets too hot for humanoids & burns out, but there's a new estimate.
When? The unstoppable spread of deserts may start in just a hundred million years. An eyeblink!
We feel better already.

Otherwise too fucking long; probably not much the disaster aficionado isn't already aware of & hoping for.