Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Drink Up, Drink Up & Die!

Here, why don't you fucking losers slug down about a case of this shit in a very short period?
Since 2009, 5-Hour Energy has been mentioned in some 90 filings with the F.D.A., including more than 30 that involved serious or life-threatening injuries like heart attacks, convulsions and, in one case, a spontaneous abortion, a summary of F.D.A. records reviewed by The New York Times showed.

[...]

Another federal agency, the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, reported late last year that more than 13,000 emergency room visits in 2009 were associated with energy drinks alone.
Keep on swallowing that crap, you fucking cretins.

12 comments:

Substance McGravitas said...

I feel like I'm not doing my part.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Substance Abuse McGravitas.
~

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

The kids are using it as a mixer. I wonder if some of those emergency room visits are not as much due to alcohol as the energy drink component.

mikey said...

The weird thing is they seem to make those energy drinks taste as nasty as they possibly can on purpose. I've never been able to swallow even a sip, so I don't really know what happens if you actually drink one...

Weird Dave said...

Mmmmmmmmm...taurine.

M. Bouffant said...

Vile Liquids & Bull Extract Editor:
Tastes so bad it has to be good for you/effective? We don't even like Gatorade, so we aren't getting close to any of this crap.

Our advice to those who want to be wide-awake drunks is Everclear in coffee.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Is the stimulant effect really any greater than that of coffee? These emergency room visits don't take place in a vacuum, I imagine most of the persons adversely affected were sedentary, unhealthy persons to begin with.

BadTux said...

Wimps. I drink more caffeine than in one of these things within 20 minutes of waking up in the morning, and I'm still

M. Bouffant said...

Stimulating Editor:
Very still, we'll guess.

Must admit we're disappointed there wasn't more detail as to how the drinkers died.

Substance McGravitas said...

Tastes so bad it has to be good for you/effective?

Rotten cream soda plus bitterness most times. Weeding them out took a long time, but if all you want is caffeine there are a buncha soft-drinks that supply enough and taste better.

I don't like coffee. It's never as good as the smell of it.

M. Bouffant said...

Gourmet Editor:
That's why there is flavored coffee w/ plenty of milk (or cream) & sugar.

BadTux said...

I think they call those flavored coffees "wuss coffees". Everybody knows that real men drink their coffee black. Luckily I'm a penguin, so I don't have to.

- Badtux the Lucky Penguin

Popularity. Like Junior High. This is mostly because I'm curious. You should all be ashamed.