Saturday, November 10, 2012

Doubling Down

Looooo-zers!
The day after the election, as Republican strategists diced the demographics of their loss — Hispanics and young people went with President Obama — the push was already on to make the GOP more inclusive and reflective of the country. The party needed to gather up more of the middle. In other words, it needed to tame the tea partyers who had moved the party to the right.

It was precisely this mentality that energized Emma Runion and her husband, John, to dig in even harder.

After gathering her signs Wednesday morning, Emma went to her computer. First she scanned it for spyware. “Hackers were very busy last night,” she said. Her second order of business was dropping Fox News as her home page, annoyed with the network for pitching in the towel so early and calling Obama the winner. Her new home page: the Blaze, the Glenn Beck-run news site.
It just gets better.
Emma pulled open her pantry. “We are not preppers,” she said, revealing a normal food closet instead of one preparing for anarchy. Canned pears. Canned pumpkin. Sugar. Peanut butter. Dog treats. There was no survival food, but they were planning on stocking up on guns and ammo.

“We’ll probably get a long gun and a short gun,” Emma said. “We’ve already got our concealed carry permits; we just need to be finger­printed.” That last step was the one that made her hesitant. “Once you are registered, they know who you are. Most firearms now are chipped” for tracking.
We're pretty damn sure that's complete bullshit.
They worried that Obama would now downsize the military — “MacDill is going to be a ghost town,” Emma said of the Air Force base in Tampa — to build his own military consisting of the National Guard, the Department of Homeland Security and the Transportation Security Administration.

“Right-wing nut” is what Emma playfully calls herself, a reference to Obama once categorizing extreme conservatives as fringe. John is less playful, especially when it comes to Obama.

“This guy, who is he?” asked John, at the kitchen counter. “He’s Buddhist, he’s Muslim, he’s Christian. When he addresses the Muslims, he speaks Muslim. When he addresses blacks, he goes into that black dialect. It’s creepy.”

He stirred his oatmeal. “To know this guy is going to have power for the next four years, that’s disturbing.”
Knowing this deluded son-of-a-bitch has two fucking guns is what's disturbing.

5 comments:

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Emma pulled open her pantry. “We are not preppers,” she said, revealing a normal food closet instead of one preparing for anarchy. Canned pears. Canned pumpkin. Sugar. Peanut butter. Dog treats. There was no survival food, but they were planning on stocking up on guns and ammo.

“We’ll probably get a long gun and a short gun,” Emma said. “We’ve already got our concealed carry permits; we just need to be finger­printed.” That last step was the one that made her hesitant. “Once you are registered, they know who you are. Most firearms now are chipped” for tracking.


A couple of sheep, ready to be fleeced by the very same people who keep them scared shitless.

They worried that Obama would now downsize the military

You'd think that a couple of paranoiacs skeered and afeared of brownshirts would welcome this development.

to build his own military consisting of the National Guard, the Department of Homeland Security and the Transportation Security Administration.

Needs more New Black Panther Party members with berets and sticks.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Cracker Town
~

mikey said...

"Chipped".

If they had one tiny fraction of a clue about how technology, or for that matter enough high school physics to understand the electromagnetic spectrum and RF propagation they would realize that this is impossible. The only passive "Chips" are RFID tags, and they require a reader to be within a few feet in order to be able to read the very tiny data string they have. If the chip could be tracked and read in the field, it would have to have a power source. Go ahead and show me where the nuclear reactor in the gun is - I'll wait.

Plus, what would that get the government? There's already a purchase record if you bought the gun legally. Knowing you own it is not a particular challenge in any area but legal privacy laws, and if it's GPS tracking they're worried about they already have a cell phone, so the nuclear-powered GPS-capable handgun is kind of superfluous...

M. Bouffant said...

Funky Cracker Editor:
Essentially, they're right to be paranoid but their paranoia is misdirected.

New Panther Army, baby!

Unknown said...

Holy fuckamoly. This type of individual scares the shit outta me because they base their beliefs on total bullshit.