Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Darwin Award In Naval Aviation

The F-11 Tiger is noted for being the first jet aircraft to shoot itself down. On 21 September 1956, during a test firing of its 20 mm (.79 in) cannons, pilot Tom Attridge fired two bursts mid-way through a shallow dive. As the velocity and trajectory of the cannon rounds decayed, they ultimately crossed paths with the Tiger as it continued its descent, disabling it and forcing Attridge to crash land the aircraft; he survived.[3][4]

Ooops

Stupid jerks in Iowa having their little caucuses so early this yr. & we still haven't had the cable reattached. We won't be able to hear shit-loads of shitheads pontificate & punditize about what a tiny & hickish slice of these United Snakes has to say about choosing the next president.

Nonetheless, having rec'd. our gubmintinsurance payment today, we're really going to get on that. And, while still confused as to the day & date, realized, ward of the state or not, we've rent to pay. No carefree afternoon of watching Bachelor Father & Leave It to Beaver. BRB.

Love Me

Sometimes you just want to scream it at the top of your lungs.
Others can be cruel.
Ultimately, one is alone in the urban environment.

Republican Rabbit's Foot

The Constitution as talisman:

Monday, January 2, 2012

Hope We Die 'Fore ...

The visibly aging slide further into irrelevance & oblivion, via.

Pushing them down that slide? Their fucking parents.
Even before the headlines about pot-smoking grannies, things were changing. The community’s fitness centers, for example, had extended their hours to accommodate a suddenly higher proportion of residents who decided to keep working rather than retire. Exercise classes had begun offering yoga, meditation, and Zumba, and Marcia Wilson, the manager of social services, says she started to notice sixtysomething neighbors who’d moved to be near ninetysomething parents now were making up about a third of her caregiver support groups.
[We emphasize.]

Do not know/care what the hell Zumba is, by the way.

Now Is It 2012?

Totally confused, as it is what? & yet the Rose Parade (Specifically, re-run #3 thereof.) is on the telly but New Years' Eve was night before last ...

Realizing that having been unemployedretired for some time, time (esp. trivialities such as days & dates) has much less meaning than to the wage-enslaved.

Also confused because of the blimps that were about yesterday. ('Though not the B-2 "Spirit" stealth bomber, which showed today to reënforce that this is a militaristic society.)

East-side blimps:
Central city blimp (Poor folks only get one, & it advertises alcohol.):

Bullshit For The New Yr.

Mr. Door Tree's Golden Age Comic Book Stories has been a favorite site of this web log since we found it & started stealing stuff a couple yrs. ago. Now, following a naked picture or two, some Puritan asshole has hit him w/ Blogger's bullshit CONTENT WARNING, just like Mick Farren's DOC40. This has ticked Mr. Tree off, &, although he has a poor attitude about certain (Most?) Internet denizens:
I never post self gratifying pixs of myself...who cares what I look like or what I did when I was a teen-ager...I don't get it why so many people go that route...no-one cares!
we're the forgiving type, & would urge all to visit the site to discourage him from quitting, provide some well-deserved clicks, & look at all the swell stuff he presents to the world. (In high-quality scans, too.)

And a resounding "Fuck you w/ a splintered broomstick!" to both Blogger & the shit-heel who clicked the CONTENT WARNING button. How sad that in an allegedly free democracy one piece of easily offended garbage is given the power to censor anybody & anything.

Decade (Or So) In Review

Bush, Obama and a new century’s dark debut

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Oh, Hi

Time marches on. Good yada yada for the new yr., y'all.

Saturday, December 31, 2011

Burnin' Up-Date

Hey, we don't like cars much either, but c'mon.
Nearly all of the fires began with a vehicle being set ablaze. Several times, the flames jumped to nearby apartment buildings or houses, causing significant damage at some of the locations.

Estimates of the total damage were not available, although officials from the Los Angeles County Fire Department said that four fires set in West Hollywood alone destroyed about $350,000 worth of cars and property.

Out W/ The Old!

Down w/ Babylon in the New Yr.!

Bad Sign For The New Year

Word Verification:

And A Happy New Yr.
To The Women Of Israel

Judaic Fundamentalism: Good luck w/ it, ladies.
If you would like to know the source from which your brothers derive their brazen behavior, go over to the study hall and open a page of Talmud. It's true that the Torah has 70 faces, but the trend of these faces is clear: The source of the pollution is in halakha (Jewish law ) itself. What is happening in Beit Shemesh and its satellites is not "contrary to halakha," it is mandated by halakha. And the rest will be told to the grandmothers, daughters and granddaughters.

Any ignoramus knows that the Torah's "ways are ways of pleasantness," that "the honor of a king's daughter is within," and that "proper behavior comes before the Torah," but it's worth knowing more. It's worth knowing that a woman is unfit to be a judge, and is also unfit to give testimony. She is unfit for any public position with authority. "Thou shalt appoint a king over thee" - a king and not a queen.

A daughter, commanded the sages, must not be taught Torah, because "the mind of woman is not suited to be taught, but [only] to words of nonsense." Women are light-minded and have little knowledge.

And if a man and a woman are drowning in a river, first they'll save the man, "who is obligated to perform more commandments," whereas a woman's "wisdom is only in the spindle." In fact, "words of Torah should be burned rather than being given to women."

A man must say three blessings every day during morning prayers: He thanks God "that He didn't make me a gentile, that He didn't make me a woman, that He didn't make me an ignoramus." And it's not proper to speak to a woman too much, since "all her conversation is nothing but words of adultery," and whoever talks to her too much "causes evil to himself and will end up inheriting hell." And let's not even talk about the fate of someone "who looks even at a woman's little finger."

The extremists who spit at women, who call themselves Sikarikim, learned their lesson 101 times and learned it well: A husband would do well not to let his wife go outside, into the street, and should restrict her outings "to once or twice a month, as necessary, since a woman has no beauty except by sitting in the corner of her house."

Because inside the house - very deep inside - her glorious honor awaits her: "Every woman washes her husband's face and feet and pours him a cup and prepares his bed and stands and serves her husband. And any woman who refrains from doing any of these tasks that she is obligated to perform - is forced to do them." Some recommend forcing her with a whip or by starvation "until she gives in."

And needless to say, she is at her husband's disposal whenever he is overcome by a desire "to satisfy his urges with her." And if she continues to rebel, he always has the right "to divorce her without her consent."

And there are many similar halakhot, only a few of which we have collected here. Nor have we cited everything in the name of the ones who said them, for lack of space. The readers are invited to find the references on Shabbat - and to browse around - on their own; this is a good opportunity for study. We will direct your attention to Tractate Shabbat, which does a good job of summing up halakha's attitude toward women: "a sack full of excrement" with a bleeding hole.

Some people will seek to console themselves: It's true that this is the halakha both m'doraita (from the Torah ) and m'drabanan (from the rabbis ), but that is not what is taught nowadays. But it suffices to listen to the sermon the sage Rabbi Ovadia Yosef delivered five years ago, based on the well-known halakhic work "Kitzur Shulchan Aruch": "A man must take care not to walk between two women or between two dogs or two pigs, and men should also not allow a woman or a dog or a pig to walk between them."

Treating women as impure and filthy begins with halakha and continues with actions. As long as the religious and ultra-Orthodox parties - Shas, United Torah Judaism, Habayit Hayehudi and National Union, none of which have any women in the Knesset - are not disqualified, their nakedness will continue to sing out and the nakedness of the land will be revealed.
Via War in Context.

Enough ...

Isn't it fucking 2012 yet? What the hell we waiting for here?

Friday, December 30, 2011

Hey, Bo Diddley

Via, we note that in some parts it's still barely Bo Diddley's 83rd birthday.We saw Mr. Diddley perform in 1971. Along w/ his rhythmic innovations he had quite a voice: He sang a few operatic licks & impressed all.Also ejected today: LeBron James, Tiger Woods, Patti Smith & Rudyard Kipling. Whatever. People are born, they die, on & on ...Playing the dozens, or "Insult Rock.""You got your radio turned down too low."

GUNS, Not Butter. Or Roads. Or Roofs.

The Daily Caller presents convicted criminal Oliver North's year-end what-to-fear-next-year message. Why don't we see what Ollie & the other manly men who piss their Depends® daily are a-skeert of this wk.:
In January, barring action by Congress and the White House, U.S. defense spending cuts totaling $1.1 trillion over the next four years will begin to take effect. Such an outcome in the midst of these perilous times ought to be unthinkable.

Instead of putting tens of thousands of Americans to work building new ships, submarines, aircraft and a missile shield to protect the American people from nuclear attack, the Obama administration wants the federal government to create temporary jobs repaving highways, painting bridges and re-roofing public schools. Rather than have unemployed construction workers build a petroleum pipeline from Canada (and improve U.S. energy security), the Obama White House wastes billions on phony “green jobs.” The administration has to hope we all will forget the word “Solyndra.”*
Back to the classics for next year: Nuclear attack!! Ollie also suggests you can stop worrying about those "jobs" the politicians keep harping on, because your "job" won't mean shit if Ollie's Three Things About Which To Really Worry happen:
1) An Iranian nuke. Just before Christmas, Defense Secretary Leon Panetta told us Iran could have a workable nuclear weapon in 2012. He also knows — but didn’t say — that the theocrats in Tehran already have the means of delivering it. Tel Aviv, Israel, is target No. 1. American civilians are No. 2 on the ayatollahs’ hit parade. To Israelis, the expression “Never Again” isn’t a political slogan. It’s a way of life. They are not going to wait to be incinerated.

The Obama administration could stop the Iranians from building atomic weapons and perhaps even bring about regime change by forbidding any company doing any business in Iran from doing any business in the U.S. But unless the O-Team takes such a step, the Israelis will have to act pre-emptively to prevent annihilation. If you think the “2008-11 global recession” hurt, you don’t want to contemplate what the world economy would be like after an attack on Iran’s nuclear weapons sites.
Well-tortured logic: If we don't screw up the world economy w/ this bizarre super-embargo plan, our friends the Israelis will eff things up. And it will all be Iran's fault, of course.

Another classic, more of a never-went-away rather then a return: THEM!!
2) The jihad. The “Arab Spring” — once so proudly proclaimed to have been instigated by Obama’s soaring rhetoric — has become a nightmare for democratic aspirations in the Middle East. Saddam Hussein, Osama bin Laden, Moammar Gadhafi and Anwar al-Awlaki are dead, but the jihad being waged by radical Islamists is stronger than ever. Tunisia, Egypt, Libya and Sudan are headed for Shariah rather than secular governance in 2012. Yemen, Pakistan, Syria, Jordan, Nigeria and even Saudi Arabia could follow suit soon. The U.S. Commission on International Religious Freedom forecasts that Christianity could be eradicated in these countries. The economic impact of such an upheaval is potentially catastrophic.
Funny. Wasn't it all George Bush's inspiration by invasion & occupation when things seemed to be going well in the Arab world? (Ollie, could we get just one citation of the proud proclamations of Obama's instigation?) Yet now Xianity could be eradicated in these countries, & apparently Saudi Arabia is not currently under Shariah. Potentially catastrophic indeed.

And don't forget the CommiesRusskies, who will always be a menace. Always.
3) The collapse of Russian democracy. Vladimir Putin is presiding over a dying country — and he knows it. Though Russian energy exports to Europe and China currently fill the coffers of Moscow’s kleptocracy and help rebuild Soviet-era nuclear weapons, the future for the land of the czars is bleak. Russia’s population — now 141.7 million — drops by nearly 1 million per year. With an average male life span of just 59 years, look for 2012 to be the year Putin and his cronies do all they can to line their pockets — at our expense.
Waiting for some outrage from Ollie at certain kleptocracies here, who've already done quite the job of lining pockets at our expense. There truly are none so blind as those who will not see. Also motes, beams & eyes. And how is America's experiment in democracy working out, by the vote-suppressing way, you fucking criminal?

It'll be much better when we've bankrupted ourselves to defend a feudal shithole w/o roofs on its schools or paved roads, won't it?

Happy New Year, Suckers!!

*Already forgotten Ollie, 'though your friends at TheDC tried to the best of their limited abilities to raise some sort of stink about it.

Hollywood Heat

Loon(s) on the loose:
Video cameras may hold the key to solving a string of 19 arson fires set in Hollywood and West Hollywood early Friday morning.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Today Has Been Cancelled
Due To An Utter Lack Of Interest

For the literate.

More Cheese?

This is a Stalinist cheese, & a bold one.
Kim Jong-un, right, with his father, North Korea leader Kim Jong-il.
Photograph: AP
In comments attributed to the national defence commission, the state-run Korean Central News Agency said "foolish politicians" around the world should expect no change in policy, and threatened South Korea's conservative president, Lee Myung-bak, with a "sea of fire".

"We declare solemnly and confidently that foolish politicians around the world including the puppet forces in South Korea should not expect any changes from us," the commission said.

[...]

Lee, who has ditched the "sunshine policy" of engagement pioneered by Kim Dae-jung in the late 1990s, ended unconditional aid to the North in 2008. Pyongyang, the commission said, would "refuse forever to engage with traitor Lee Myung-bak and his group".

It added: "The world shall clearly see how the millions of our soldiers and people, who united firmly around great leader comrade Kim Jong-un to transform sorrow into courage and tears into strength, will achieve the final victory.

"The sea of bloody tears from our military and people will follow the puppet regime until the end. The tears will turn into a sea of revengeful fire that burns everything."
Now imagine we gave enough of a shit to embed the Limey cheese of Arthur Brown rendering "Fire." Glad we didn't? Us too.

Some Euro-Cheese?

Wig, or not? [Turns out yes, per the Wiki. Wevs. — M.B.]

All We've Got

For all we can remember we've used these already. We're sure we'll be advised if we have.

Heh Heh Heh

(Photo: Reuters)
The 5 billion-rouble ($163 million) Phobos-Grunt.
Now reduced to laughing at "Grunt."
Ha ha. Funny typo, too.
Not really that funny in 1971forty yrs. ago, for that matter.

(And hell, it's probably pronounced groont anyway.)

Triumph Of The Will

Apparently we've been doing it wrong: "[N]ot everything written for the internet is purposefully designed to sap your will to live." By "wrong" we mean unsuccessfully; virtually everything we run here is designed to sap that will, but we can still hear people breathing out there.

(Why we really post this: Battocchio was kind enough to ask us to participate, but it's been an even-suckier-than-usual yr. & we're really post-caring. Besides, how can we find anything good, let alone our "best"/fave in a pile of some 1,500 poops per yr.? Not even our retirement time is infinite.)

Some Rule Or Another

Geeky pervs & perverted geeks universe-wide hold their breath.

Uh ...

So, like ...

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Sean Bonniwell: Proto-Punk Passes

As hot shit a tune as a proto-punk could hear on 1966 radio.Now we read the head cheese of the outfit has joined his tune(s) in history.

Via, which types:
The band with Bonniwell at the front is regarded by some as the quintessential proto-punk band to come out of Los Angeles ...

HA!

Beat laist by nine mins. at cannibalizing PW. They did have a good video, but we''ll save you the trouble & them the click.

Station Decoration

Even as we wandered Union Station looking for something (Anything. Please!) to amuse us for a few moments, or provide a reason to continue breathing for another day or so, we were noting the lack (other than one or two private guards) of visible security (That is, security theater.) at the local surface transportation hub. As we seldom go out (& are under certain injunctions involving the crossing of county lines anyway) we haven't visited an airport (or Greyhound station) in many a yr., & were enjoying not having to remove our shoes or whatever indignities ordinary types suffer under the TSA.
Thought too damn soon, obviously.
LOS ANGELES (CBS) — An all-too-familiar sight at LAX and the rest of the nation’s airports will soon be coming to the city’s busiest train station.

KNX 1070′s Pete Demetriou reports rail passengers have started seeing Transportation Security Administration on patrol at Union Station on a more frequent basis.
As many as 25 VIPR (Visible Intermodal Prevention & Response) teams began patrolling train stations nationwide last summer conducting an estimated 9,300 “suspicionless” spot searches of travelers.
"Suspicionless" "spot searches?" That covers a lot of ground. And parts of the Bill of Rights.
Added grim detail. Assume the position, America!

Wrong Again, Dick:
We Still Have You To Kick Around

Nixon's Darkest Secrets

Out next month: Nixon's Darkest Secrets: The Inside Story of America's Most Troubled President by Don Fulsom.

Daily Mail: "A new biography by Don Fulsom, a veteran Washington reporter who covered the Nixon years, suggests the 37th U.S. President had a serious drink problem, beat his wife and -- by the time he was inaugurated in 1969 -- had links going back two decades to the Mafia, including with New Orleans godfather Carlos Marcello, then America's most powerful mobster."

"Yet the most extraordinary claim is that the homophobic Nixon may have been gay himself. If true, it would provide a fascinating insight into the motivation and behavior of a notoriously secretive politician."
Juicy from The Mail: Bebe Rebozo!

Quote Of The Day

A racist these days is all too often really just a conservative winning an argument with a liberal. It should come as no surprise, then, that the most principled conservative in the GOP race is being assailed and viciously smeared as a racist because of the content of a newsletter written 20 years ago which he credibly denies writing or having any knowledge of, and has repeatedly disavowed as contrary to his own views.

Read more: http://dailycaller.com/2011/12/26/the-ron-paul-newsletter-controversy-is-a-textbook-liberal-smear-campaign/#ixzz1hrRdyhbi

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

The Droolers Drool

So-called nut-picking: Noo Yawk mag is doing it, so it must be OK!

In conjunction w/ some Frank Rich piece, interns dug through the ruins for artifacts. Here are two nice ones:
My husband is a school superintendent, and he deals with kids who come from broken homes all the time. There are zillions of people who have been married two and three times, and then some. Our culture is sick. If you look at the media, many of them have also been married many times over, and they are the ones pointing to others and criticizing! Give me a break. Newt’s personal life is his business, and God’s business. It appears that Newt and his family have learned to deal with each other’s shortcomings, and have found peace about it. That’s good enough for me.
—Mary M. Tebbe, commenter: The Blaze
That is the funny. Follow broken homes & divorce are bad, zillions of them make our country sick, to Newt & his family & "each other’s shortcomings" (Because both sides do it! And shouldn't that be families?) is nobody's beeswax 'cept gawd's, so cool. We'll bet Sarah Palin is Mary M. Tebbe's idea of a smart person.
Why isn’t Sarah Palin running? She is the one I really wanted. Sarah is the reason I changed my registration and voting habits from Democrat to Republican. Sarah opened my eyes to many things, and I am forever grateful to her for that. I was formerly a “progressive” Democrat, and Sarah helped me realize how those worldviews were destroying our society and our world. I do not know who I will vote for in my primary, but it won’t be Mitt.
—Breaves, commenter: Red State
We're pretty sure Breaves is Thomas L. Friedman's cab driver.

The Big Lie Throughout The Decades

Myth of the 1980s:
The perilous contest died, but a dangerous myth lived and thrived-- that President Ronald Reagan won the day with unmatchable hikes in military spending and by being tough and uncompromising. Today, that myth tugs daily in wrong directions regarding the most momentous U.S. policy decisions in hotspots like Iran, North Korea, Afghanistan, and China.

The myth that military power and true grit conquer all locks every major dispute into a test of wills. It blocks the full deployment of American powers. It does no justice to the sophisticated diplomacy employed by Reagan and his successor, George H.W. Bush. Above all, it blinds today’s policymakers from seeing clearly what actually won the Cold War and what matters most in 21st-century global affairs—the strength of the U.S. economy.
The next decade as well:

Winning the Past

Newt Gingrich "is running for president on a dazzling record of success in the 1990s -- a record that encompasses a booming economy, balanced budgets and a historic welfare reform law. It just so happens there's someone else who lays claim to that record: Bill Clinton," Politico reports

"Now, as the former House speaker -- whose rocky relationship with Clinton when both were in office is the stuff of legend -- steals some of the ex-president's thunder and touts the '90s as a Newt Gingrich production, former Clinton aides are crying foul."

Huffington Post: "Like most campaign pitches, the one framing Gingrich as the shepherd of the boom-boom '90s avoids gray areas and peddles falsehoods. Over the past few weeks, the Gingrich campaign has been publicly corrected by two fact-check organizations... Being fact-checked is a small price to pay for a galvanizing campaign message. And even those officials who sparred with Gingrich while in President Clinton's administration concede that there are worse platforms to run on."
The past, obscured before your very eyes.

Kwanzaa Claus

Rounding Up The Pigs

Text too.
Less well known is that police forces in small towns and far-flung cities have also been stocking up on heavy equipment in the years since Sept. 11, 2001.

In spite of strained city and state budgets in local years, the trend has continued thanks to generous federal grants. According to a new story by the Center for Investigative Reporting, $34 billion in federal grant money has financed the past decade’s shopping spree.
The back-up plan if vote-suppression isn't successful.

Monday, December 26, 2011

Just One Last Laugh

A former employer learns its final lesson (We hope this now-dis-corporate ghost never again crosses our radar, as we feel obligated to mention it when it does.) ending our yr. on an up note.

Borders era over as judge confirms bookseller's liquidation

The 40-year-old Ann Arbor company started in 1971 as a used bookstore run by brothers Tom and Louis Borders and evolved into a Fortune 500 chain. Borders sought a white-knight bidder to rescue it in July, but the largest unsecured creditors — particularly book publishers — rejected a plan to sell the bookstore chain to a Phoenix private equity company.
We suppose we shouldn't be dancin' around the funeral pyre hootin' & hollerin' w/o noting the unsecured creditors & making noise in the direction of the yada publishing biz. There. Done.

Woooo! Now we dance!

(FedEx is next & last, the Fascist Insect Bank having already disappeared.)

Life In Review

Farther out of the loop than usual recently, &, where "little" = "not a damn thing," have little to add in any case, but if'n you missed 'em, here's a couple from Hitchens, w/ whom we're usually ready to agree on matters of culture & religion.

Coincidence Or Not

Completely wrapping up the Mothermania, we did not know (or care) that F. Scott Fitzgerald left this mortal coil the same day F. Zappa arrived hereon. And we doubt that it means squat.

Wait, maybe the great fucking circle of life does apply here, FZ having been born in Bawlmer:
The remains were shipped to Baltimore, Maryland, where his funeral was attended by twenty or thirty people in Bethesda; among the attendants were his only child, Frances "Scottie" Fitzgerald Lanahan Smith, and his editor, Maxwell Perkins.

Alligator Tops Angels

Winner Declared In Tree-Topping Contest

All-American Killer Christmas

A Texas man dressed as Santa Claus appears to have opened fire on his own family and then killed himself, leaving seven dead amid a pile of presents on Christmas Day.

Police believe the man showed up as the family was opening gifts, according to MSNBC. Authorities got a 911 call from the apartment Sunday morning but heard only silence on the line. When they showed up, they found four women and three men, all dead.

The slaughter happened in Grapevine, a Dallas suburb that was recently deemed the state’s “Christmas Capital” for its numerous holiday-season festivals.

The victims were two couples in their fifties and three young adults, ages 22, 19, and 17, police said. All of them appeared to be related. Their identities were scheduled to be released following autopsies Monday.
Ho ho ho. Added fun: We'd already forgotten this closer-to-home example of real American Santa suit horror.

Bouffed For Christmas

Xmas lunch & dinner. (Pine cones for decoration only: Do not eat.)
Breakfast? Coffee, a Turkish/domestic tobacco blend & bacon.

A Boxing Day Gift

Sunday, December 25, 2011

The U.N. H8s Santa!

Christmas Morning In Hell

No biggie, really. They just turn the Xmas music a little louder.

Season's Greetings From MAD

Class warfare alright: Is the bottom right card of 43 yrs. ago any less true now, besides the added frisson of Merrill Lynch having been bailed out & absorbed by BofA w/ the gummint's aid & assistance?
You guessed it.

Screwed Again, Chump!

All at Just Another Blog (From L.A.)™ wish any & all a Happy Holiday & tolerable New Yr., & our editor would personally like to express his sincere & heartfelt appreciation to those people & Internet entities who have the time to waste here, & choose to do so. Be grateful yourselves that you have that time, & quit bitching already.
Sincerely,

Corporate Fucking Santa Claus, Drunk Again

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Humbug, We Say!

Best Individual Tree Ornament(s)

Medium Close-Up: Rudolph

Medium Shot: Santa, Reindeer

He's on his way to your houses right now, kids!!
Note scavenging water-pigeon trailing Santa's scow.

Later Last Minute Decoration

An Xmas Carol

Here's wild life (not "nature" stuff, however) observed the night before The Night Before Christmas.NB: We do not know anybody in this, & were asked to leave the premises shortly after recording it.

Outside the premises:
Trifecta, + tacos & gas!

Happy Holiday Camp

EXCLUSIVE: The War on Christmas is being orchestrated from this gated liberal enclave in Los Angeles, California.
Hey! You little punks keep offa my parking strip!
Abandon hope, all who enter!Crap, now we're repeating ourself!

Last Minute Decoration

Ah Ain't Got T' Blues No Mo' Ah Said

The Guardian's Celebrity Christmas piece features a mess of Limebags, of whom the collective 'Murkin we are no doubt better remaining in ignorance; nonetheless, fun from one:

Suzanne Moore: I dropped acid on Christmas Eve. At lunch the next day, I was freaked by the tinsel worms*

Suzanne Moore at 15. Photograph: Suzanne Moore
I am not sure if Christmas on LSD counts as good or bad. In my defence I was about 16 and, as my mother used to tell the neighbours, "against everything". Plus ça change. We used to do a lot of acid. Well, I lived in Ipswich, my boyfriend was a drug dealer and I wanted to expand my mind. We began quite reverently: reading Huxley and lots of RD Laing and then it just became something we did. I could go to school tripping away and my religious education teacher would say: "Are you on drugs, Moore?" To which I could say with 16-year-old insouciance: "Yeah I am actually, Miss." "Is it because you are from a broken home?" she would ask, believing this to be helpful.

But I was always far more interested in drugs than drink, which was freely available at home. My mum drank, and Christmas usually consisted of her shoving the dinner on the table, scotch in hand, crying and saying we were "gannets" for gobbling it up. The family dysfunction had become even more apparent with the death of my grandmother. My grandad, who was deaf, had to live with us, which meant the TV on full volume all the time. So I dropped the acid very late on Christmas Eve and went home at about 8am but my mum made me come down for Christmas dinner which, because we were working class, we had to have about noon. I was dressed in black and freaked out by tinsel worms everywhere. Crackers were possible bombs as my mum was so cross. Why did the chicken cross the road? This sent me down a corridor of massed chickens on zebra crossings. Were we eating a chicken that had crossed the road?

My mum was understandably angry and said I needed a drink. And gave me eggnog. My grandad (a Tory) had not been so cross since I had joined the Workers' Revolutionary party at 14. I was indeed being entirely selfish and was rebelling. Against what though?

My last memory is throwing up but being fascinated by the colours of my own puke. Mum may have slapped me at this point and I don't blame her.

But I really don't want to be a bad influence, kids. I think in the right circumstances acid is amazing but advocaat … it's lethal. Just say no.
Less gratuitous than usual accompanying musical number: Chicken references.

*Reminds us of Bob Lewis (Real name!) who "dropped a tab" before crummy cafeteria dinner one Friday evening & later stated the spaghetti on his plate had been crawling like worms.

I'm Dreaming ...

What a fucking nation/country/cultural entity.

Friday, December 23, 2011