Phrase of The Day

Today's phrase: "One lies, & the other swears to it."

Frick & Frack. Or, Alphonse & Gaston.

Recapitulation. Or is regurgitated the word we want?

Also. Thought we'd beaten him for a moment, but it's Eastern Time there.

Crummy Game Of The Wk.

The alleged No. 1 & No. 2 college footsball teams in the nation can only score six points each in regulation?

Pigeon Alley

What Does This Mean?

5 November

Guy Fawkes Day. Why the hell aren't people blowing/haven't people blown something up? We've some suggestions should you need any. Wall Street, for one.

Afghan Ingrates

In a Thursday interview with POLITICO , Fuller, a two-star general, slammed Karzai’s recent remark that Afghanistan would side with Pakistan in a war against the U.S., blasting the president’s comments as “erratic,” and adding, “Why don’t you just poke me in the eye with a needle! You’ve got to be kidding me. … I’m sorry, we just gave you $11.6 billion and now you’re telling me, ‘I don’t really care?’”

“When they are going to have a presidential election, you hope they get a guy that’s more articulate in public,” Fuller added.

Fuller also criticized Afghan leaders as divorced from the economic realities of the United States.

“I said, ‘You guys are isolated from reality.’ The reality is, the world economy is having some significant hiccups. The U.S. is in this [too],” Fuller told POLITICO. “If you’re in a very poor country like Afghanistan, you think that America has roads paved in gold, everybody lives in Hollywood. They don’t understand the sacrifices that America is making to provide for their security. And I think that’s part of my job — to educate ’em.”

He repeatedly said the Afghan leaders don’t appreciate the sacrifice that the United States was making in “blood and treasure” for the sake of their country.

For his troubles, Fuller was relieved of his duties.

Cultural Appropriation

We've noted this edifice a couple of times, but today, forced to the outside world & desperate for something to photograph we paid real attention & decided it might not always have been a "Jesus-approved" house of worship. (Not that Jesus would necessarily approve of the shit done in his name. Find us a line from Jesus authorizing the whole Christian religious complex anywhere in the Big Book of Lies.)

Of course, we were right.

In Case You've Forgotten

Everything's made of shit & we're all dying.

We're Malignant Bouffant & we approve this message.

Nit-Picking

Your Courtesy Is Appreciated

Glad to see people playing arm poker behind the shipping containers behind the Walgreens are re-capping their fits.

Crime Scene Photography

Dunno why the helmet wasn't taken.

Last Ditch Attempt To Keep This Crummy Web Log Relevant

Herman Cain ... Google does evil ... Chaos ... Aransas County, Texas "Whippin' Judge" William Adams ... Occupying ... Waffle House Geezers ... Poverty ... Steve Jobs still dead ... Boredom ... Greece & Euros ... Rape ... Murder ... Former Bums Of Brooklyn of Los Angeles ... Madness ... Tuberculosis ... Death & Corporate Taxes ... McRib ... Hate, Pain, Fear & Rage ... Money Moving ...Shit & Piss ... Jackson Killer Doctor Trial ... Nausea ... Credit Unions ... Bieber's Baby (Alleged) ... Dullness ...Idiocy ... Inevitable Heat Death of the Universe ... Trivia ... Contempt for Congress ... The Urge to Kill ... Inane Droning ... America Still Eating Its Young ... General Strike ... Lies, Damned Lies & Statistics ...

ROOMNYRB

Watering Hole

In the semi-tropical environment, water can be hard to come by, & all of nature comes to drink at the same place.

If It Ain't Broke ...

Far be it from us to offer, let alone give technical advice (Although we did recently convince our friend & sexual associate to buy a Toshiba lap-top for $429.00 rather than blow over $1,000.00 on a piece of Steve Jobs slave-labor plastic.) but if, like the rest of the world, you agree that the new version of Gurgle's Reader sucks hard, here is an extension that may allow tweaks.

Of course, we tried to fix the "Posted by M. Bouffant"/"at NN:NN" overlap on this very web-log by adding a few lines of code to the CSS, as advised by some fuckwad somewhere, & nothing happened; we certainly won't be holding our breath while trying to reduce the new Reader's excess of white space.

A Chrome extension. This we might actually try.

Fantasy World

When we saw the part we've emphasized, we had a moment of hope ...

Mayor Villaraigosa: "As a Dodgers fan and an Angeleno, obviously the team has had a very tough season. We collectively felt the pain and anguish that resulted from the beating of Bryan Stow. It looks like we're going to open a new chapter with the team. And I look forward to local ownership. Whoever buys the team needs to live here. It absolutely has to be someone from L.A. The Dodgers aren't just a team, they are a collective community asset."

But obviously the Mayor is talking through his politician hat. Not much likelihood of a Green Bay-style community ownership deal here.

Nonetheless, perhaps Mayor Tony could take a few moments from deciding which local newshen he'll next be dating & look into applying some eminent domain remediation.

Eminent domain or not, it could happen! Just not soon.

Semi-Tropical Semi-Moon

Here, stare at this while we go out to buy some coffee, if we can get any w/ our last US$5.00.

Tweety The Turd-Polisher

Stolen shamelessly from Political Wire.

Jeff Bercovici found that out the hard way that Chris Matthews didn't use a ghostwriter on his new book, Jack Kennedy: Elusive Hero

Said Matthews: "Fuck you. Where'd you get that? Is that what you think? You think I don't write my books?"

He adds: "I would never let anybody write something for me. Why do you think I'm like that? It's amazing to me that you think I'm some lightweight, glib bullshit artist that has somebody do his work for him. The writing is the hard part, the composition."

Yeah, it's just fucking amazing anyone could think he's a lightweight. "Shallow" is the word we'd use.

And enough w/ "Jack" Kennedy, & the rest of Bootlegger Joe's descendants. Who cares? It's almost 2012, isn't it?

Disease Up-Date

We did not know measles had almost disappeared either:

There have been 208 cases of measles reported in Quebec since May 1 and a total of 254 since the beginning of the year. That's a huge number, considering that there are typically only 11 cases a year in all of Canada, says the Public Health Agency of Canada.

This is now the largest measles outbreak in Canada since measles was essentially eradicated from Canada in the mid-1990s.

The U.S. is having one of its worst years yet for measles, as well. Health officials there say 118 cases have been reported so far this year -- the highest number this early in the year since 1996. The U.S. normally sees about 50 cases of measles in a year.

A Newshogger noticed it:

I admit that, being old enough to have had the measles as a kid and that it wasn’t entirely unusual at the time, I was quite surprised to discover the disease had been all but eradicated from North America over a decade ago. To watch it make a comeback due to a deliberate fabrication of a unscrupulous hack combined with the ignorant boosting of said hack by certain celebrities all preying on the fears of parents drives my rage up a few pegs.

Us as well, w/ one exception: We contracted measles (& still have a pockmark or two to prove it) in early 1980 (aged 26) as a result of doing the Worm w/ a bunch of college students while accompanying the Angry Samoans to a gig at UC Irvine, & indirectly as a result of the home schooling (have not had any of the other "childhood diseases," w/ the possible exception of rubella, AKA "German* Measles") that helped make us the cynical & alienated creep we are today.

"Facts:"

An outbreak of almost 30,000 cases in 1990 led to a renewed push for vaccination and the addition of a second vaccine to the recommended schedule. Fewer than 200 cases have been reported each year since 1997, and the disease is no longer considered endemic.

Gone, yet not forgotten. Added frightening fact: The croaker we consulted post-measles (when we had the strength to get off the couch) advised us to "take it easy" on the boozin' & other wild activities for about a yr., as adults who contract measles have a 1-in-100 chance of developing Multiple Sclerosis. Yeesh. So far we seem to be OK. Physically.

So, Canadians, stand on guard. And don't breathe.

---

*What the hell? What did the Germans ever do to deserve this calumny?

Jesus Died For Somebody's Sins, But We Get Tortured For His Birthday

Just observed the first Xmas advert on the big home screen, for some gawd-awful child's Xmas album, now available at Mall★Wart, where the Christmas Shop is now open.

This is not a scientific survey (Yes, the child is objectively gawd-awful, no matter how much her parental units have forced show bidness on her, but that's not what we meant.) because we are still w/o cable telebision. It may be worse in the larger media universe.

Only a few billion shopping yrs. left until the sun expands & finally burns away our misery.

Former White Castle?

Warning: Water will soon be privatized. And suck in all the air you can while it's still free (& not completely poisoned).

Property Rights

Big Ditch

Last Night In Hollywood

The people, not the phonies of WeHo & its "Worlds Largest Collection of Ninnies on Hallowe'en."As described.

Review

New version of Gurgle reader sucks. Also bites, chews, blows & eats.

Others react as well.

Dead of The Day

"Holy Roller"

"Diosa"

Cholo

Art thingies courtesy ChimMaya Gallery.

Monster Movie Madness

Bonus play w/ "Pygmy Twylyte."Crankin' & a-cokin' in the Winchell's Donut (Straight outta Temple City!) midnight ...

Salting The Wound

Some may remember this hippies vs. cynical realists event at Empire of the Senseless.

Not to beat a horse that someone else killed, but we were struck by the belief that marching against the Vietnam atrocity somehow hastened its end. We thought not (Pres. Johnson wanted out, but was afraid of being called "soft on communism" by limp-dicked compensating Republicans, for example.) & others agree:

But then in terms of effect, it’s also not clear that the anti-Vietnam movement had a huge policy impact. By 1968, there was a growing elite-level consensus that continuing the war was a bad idea. Nixon and Kissinger wanted to get out on their own terms, but they definitely wanted to get out, and mostly for international rather than domestic reasons.

Not as if zillions in the street worldwide on the same day protesting the potential Iraq atrocities had any effect either, we're happy to point out. ("Happy" in a point-scoring way; we weren't happy the invasion & occupation went right ahead, hippies in the streets or not.)

Much the same question has been asked at Balloon Juice.

Yellow & Orange & ...

And another grouch heard from. Sorry, grumpy, we quite like Candy Corn. Perhaps as much for the texture (having wiped out our taste buds w/ booze, terbaccy & spicy food over a long period of time) as the sweet sugary sweetness.This is just sick, however.

Sick, sick, sick.

Second Amendment Voting

If we can't have democracy, at least we have our guns.

What is happening in Florida is part of a national trend, as election law has become a fierce partisan battleground. In states where Republicans have taken majority control, they have tightened rules for registering new voters, reduced the time for casting ballots and required voters to show photo identification at the polls. The new restrictions were usually adopted on party-line votes and signed by Republican governors.

Classic Republican illogic:

During Florida's legislative debate on the new law, a Republican state senator argued that it should not be easy or convenient to vote. Voting "is a hard-fought privilege. This is something people died for," said Sen. Michael Bennett of Bradenton, the chamber's president pro tempore. "Why should we make it easier?"

Didn't voting used to be one of those great "rights" that were so exceptionally American?

UPDATE (1214PDT 31 October 2011): A Johnny-come-lately bothered to research some links, if a shit is given by anyone about the subject.

A Waste Of Our Time & Their Money

What is wrong w/ this putrid pimp?

Hey there,
I'm reaching out to you because Thumbtack is getting a lot of job leads for childcare providers, and I'm looking for another childcare provider who is interested in taking on more clients.

After checking out your website I think you are a great fit for Thumbtack and I'd love to start sending you job leads. Please fill out a few details about your skills and rates, and I'll start forwarding you potential new clients.

If you have any questions about what Thumbtack can provide, please don't hesitate to ask.

Thanks, Heather

To which we responded:

I fucking hate children, & filthy liars!. Do not send me any more lying shit claiming "After checking out your website I think you are a great fit for Thumbtack." Thank you, advertising scum, & may you & every spam-sending piece of garbage like you rot in hell!

M. Bouffant

Not the first time we've received a similar message from "Heather Madison," if that is her real name, but we hope it's the last.

Concession To Hallowe'en

Even the trees are pseudo.

Scenes From The Capital City Of Shit

28 October 2011, 2249-2304PDT:

Police Terror I

Rampart PAL Carnival

If you don't know, Gurgle "Rampart Division."

Police Terror IIA

Police Terror IIB

Alexander's B. S. Restaurant

This Is How Much I Hate The World You Fucking Nazis Have Built

Hell, this is the world you Nazis have built. The first number is by one Lewis Allen Rabinowitz."I think Lou Reed is a creep." — The Dictators, "Two Tub Man"At least Wild Man had no tats & his original hair color.

Summing It Up

Quote of the Day
"Our team wants someone authentic, creative, fresh, bold and likeable. And we don't have much tolerance for too many facts or too much information. In politics, a bumper sticker always beats an essay."

-- Republican strategist Ed Rogers, writing in the Washington Post, on the psychology of GOP activists.

It's not just activists who won't tolerate facts, information, or even the grim truth.

Portrait Of The Photographer As A Shadow

Fall In Los Angeles

Note well that not all leaves stay green.

Scare Tactics II

By their advertisers shall ye know them, & their readers. There really oughta be a law.

Sorry, can't embed it (or even copy it, they claim ...) but you must watch this video before it is too late.

(Make sure your sound is turned on! Please wait up to 5 seconds for the video to load.)

When the shit hits the fan, fellow patriot & brother-in-arms, you will need to know which 37 items you should hoard. You don't want to be sent to a FEMA "relief camp," do you?