Saturday, August 13, 2011

Aggie Joke

Our favorite, 'though when we first heard it a spider was the featured creature. Actually works a bit better w/ a frog. Whatever.
An Aggie scientist is doing experiments on a frog, trying to find out the effects of cutting its legs off.

The Aggie saws the first leg off and says, "Jump, frog, jump." The frog jumps five feet. The Aggie makes a note: With three legs, frog jumps five feet.

The Aggie then saws off another leg and says, "Jump, frog jump!" The frog jumps one foot. The Aggie makes a note: With two legs, frog jumps one foot.

Finally, the Aggie saws off the last foot and says, "Jump, frog jump! ... Jump, frog jump! ... Jump, frog jump!"

The Aggie scientist makes a note: With no legs, frog goes completely deaf.

Rick "Crotch" Perry

Clintonian cretin Paul Begala levels the snark at ostentatiously Christian cretin Rick Perry.
I first met Rick Perry in 1985. He was a Democratic freshman state rep, straight off the ranch in Haskell, Texas. He wore his jeans so tight, and, umm, adjusted himself so often that my fellow young legislative aides and I used to call him Crotch. Even among state representatives, even among Texas Aggies (graduates of this cute remedial school we have in Texas), Perry stood out for his modest intellectual gifts. Hell, he got a C in animal breeding. I have goats who got an A in that subject. But lack of brains has never been a hindrance in politics.
Aggie jokes.

G-d Punishes Iowa For Straw Vote

Except he got the wrong state. (Perfectly understandable, we can't differentiate either. They both start w/ "I," after all.) More pix.
Show bidnis: It's no picnic.
INDIANAPOLIS - State police confirm three people were reportedly killed when a stage collapsed at a concert at the Indiana State Fair. They say a fourth person may have also died. Fair officials said on Twitter late Saturday that four were confirmed dead.

[...]

The stage was set up for the Sugarland concert at the state fairgrounds. Rigging for the stage lighting reportedly fell around 8:50 p.m., before the main act took the stage.

BED PEACE

This wknd. only! (Better hurry, it's later than we think!) John&Yoko. Dick Gregory. Tim Leary. Al Capp. (OK, he's who we're really interested in.) Al Capp?Dunno why it embeds, if it's all THIS WKND. ONLY, but we s'pose come Monday there'll just be a black hole above.

We Must, We Must ...

Bonus Quote of the Day

"I cannot wait to go get my fried butter on a stick, and fried cheesecake on a stick and...Twinkies, especially in honor of those who would rather just be forced to eat our peas."

-- Sarah Palin, in an interview with David Brody, on what she'll be doing at the Iowa State Fair.
Our immediate guess is she's trying to get some meat back on her bones, as evidenced here.
12 August, 2011 at the Iowa State Fair.
At the Belmont Stakes, 2010.
Really, Sarah?

First Sacrificial Lamb Results In

Any second now...

And the winner is ...

M. Bachmann.

Ron Paul a close second. He & Bachmann took over half of the 16,000+ votes.

As B/4, Dillinger

Contemplated an A-200 or Kwell poll, but a look at Kwell (Lindane) indicates trying A-200 first. Sheesh.

Nice Suits, Too

Seems as if everybody's covered this one. Here's a poppy-peppy version:

Fear Of A (Really) Black Planet

Sorry, couldn't resist.
The findings published at Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics mention that the distant, Jupiter sized planet reflects less than one percent of the sunlight falling on it, making it blacker than coal or any planet or moon in our solar system.

"TrES-2b is considerably less reflective than black acrylic paint, so it's truly an alien world," states astronomer David Kipping of the Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics (CfA), lead author on the paper reporting the research.

Not Un-Encouraging

Are ordinary Americans ("... just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know ... morons.") wising up?
If this organic movement were happening on the right, it would be front-page news in every national newspaper in the country. We know because the distinctly non-organic movement in 2009 was front-page news.
Could be.

Immigration & Emigration Policy Recap

Fifty yrs. ago:

Three-Way W/ A Foot-Long

Apparently stuffing something in her mouth will narrow her eyes a bit.
Michele Bachmann, Iowa born and the favourite to win the Straw Poll, arrived half an hour late for her slot and then spoke for just over two minutes, saying that Iowans were “going to send the signal” to the rest of America just as they had in 2008.  “This is where Barack Obama got his start. This is where he’s going to come to his end, in Iowa.”

She beat a hasty retreat after being aggressively heckled by a young man who shouted that she believed homosexuals were “second-class citizens” and that she should not try to “pray away the gay”.

Driving away on a golf cart with her husband Marcus beside her, Mrs Bachmann stopped to buy a foot-long corn dog – a chicken and beef sausage in deep-fried batter. After applying mustard and allowing Mr Bachmann to take the first bite, she chomped into it with gusto.
UPDATE: TBogg was up a bit earlier than we were. (There's a surprise!) Two minds, one juvenile thought.

UPDATE II: From a TBogg comment, we see M.B. (Not us or her, him.) getting his.
UPDATE II: Follow the logic (& grammar) here, if you can.
“It is her responsibility to address social issues in her area, and there have been six suicides in the last year from being bullied in her district,” Aderhold said to The Des Moines Register prior to heckling Michele Bachmann today at the Iowa State Fair.

His interview with The Register was interrupted by Caleb Humphrey, an Eldora resident and Army veteran of the Iraq war who disapproved of his actions.

“Here, I’ll tell you this,” Humphrey said to Aderhold. “You’re not going to have too much fun being gay when you ain’t got no money.”

Spot The Hypocrites

From The People's Daily Online:
BEIJING, Aug. 12 (Xinhua) -- Following days of violent riots in Britain, speculation has grown as to why and how the trouble spread so rapidly.

Apparently the rioters used social media, like Twitter, Facebook and the Blackberry messenger system and Prime Minister David Cameron said Thursday he's looking at banning potential troublemakers from using the online services.

The British government, once an ardent advocate of absolute Internet freedom, has thus made a U-turn over its stance towards web-monitoring.

Communications tools such as Facebook and cellphones also played a delicate role in the massive social upheaval earlier this year in north Africa and neighboring west Asian countries, whose governments then imposed targeted censorship over message flows on the Internet.

In a speech delivered in Kuwait in February, the British prime minister, however, argued that freedom of expression should be respected "in Tahrir Square as much as Trafalgar Square."

Learning a hard lesson from bitter experience, the British government eventually recognized that a balance needs to be struck between freedom and the monitoring of social media tools.

Cameron himself admitted that the "free flow of information can be used for good. But it can also be used for ill."

"And when people are using social media for violence, we need to stop them," he told lawmakers Thursday.

We may wonder why western leaders, on the one hand, tend to indiscriminately accuse other nations of monitoring, but on the other take for granted their steps to monitor and control the Internet.

They are not interested in learning what content those nations are monitoring, let alone their varied national conditions or their different development stages.

Laying undue emphasis on Internet freedom, the western leaders become prejudiced against those "other than us," stand ready to put them in the dock and attempt to stir up their internal conflicts.

With no previous practice, the world is still exploring effective solutions to Internet monitoring.

"Technology has no morality," observed Emma Duncan, deputy editor of The Economist.

And the Internet is also a double-edged sword that cuts both ways. For the benefit of the general public, proper web-monitoring is legitimate and necessary.
The "general public," or the national security state?

Just Grow A Penis, Ladies

Oooh, poor besieged Klavan. Of course he's right, because being female or of more recent African heritage is precisely like being a conservative. They're all born that way!

We couldn't begin to tell you all the times we've tried to convince someone just to stop being black so he can get that major league managing gig. Hasn't worked yet, but we'll keep trying.

Friday, August 12, 2011

"He Wasn't Just A Puppet ..."

From the perpetually delayed New Republic feed, a wk. (Or three days. Do young people know nothing?) at the Nat'l. Conservative Student Conference, which appears to the typist to be more of an exercise in nostalgia than anything else.
Each seat at the banquet came equipped with free Reagan swag, including the DVD, Still Point In A Turning World: Ronald Reagan and his Ranch, directed by Stephen K. Bannon, which screened after a dinner keynote from Senator Marco Rubio. The documentary was pure ranch-fetishism. The film swept through three decades of chintzy stock-footage: gathering socialist storms, firefighters, soviets, steelworkers, and finally, the Gipper building fences. “To understand this great man,” intoned the narrator—Patrick Warburton, the voice of Joe Swanson on Family Guy—“you must understand his beloved ranch.”
Stephen K. Bannon being the creator of the wildly successful Palin hagio-pic The Undefeated.
Unfortunately, the evening’s festivities began with a letdown. The scheduled guest, Senator Jim DeMint, had fled town for an early vacation after the debt deal. Dinesh D’Souza had also bailed. A replacement was found at the last minute: the teutonic blonde-maned Mari Will, wife of columnist George and former Reagan speechwriter.

[...]

“No questions?” she finally sighed. There was a painful silence, until a lone plea rang out from the front: “Will you tell us just one Reagan story?” She sighed and obliged: a quick one about Reagan improvising at the podium. “Remember,” she closed, “He wasn’t just a puppet; he was one of us … . Don’t believe what the liberals say about his Alzheimer’s.” Quickly shifting the subject away from cognitive deterioration, conservative Washington Examiner reporter Tim Carney closed the evening with a popular message: Republicans are selling the conservative movement short. “Move the party to the right!” was his biggest applause line of the night. Spoken in the wake of the debt crisis, it seemed hard to believe.
More like a marionette, but nobody was pulling his strings.
Case in point, Alyssa Cordova, a recent graduate of George Mason University and one of CPAC’s “Stars of the Future.” The title of her speech? “Thank You, Feminism: Six Ways that Feminism Has Hurt Society.” Even here, I sensed, this would be a tough sell. “A lot of guys hate Michele Bachmann,” a guy named John had told me earlier. Why? “Well, look, she has that anti-porn pledge.” He quickly added, “Now, wait, don’t get me wrong, I don’t, like, support porn.”
Meaning he doesn't pay for it.

Never trust anyone under 30: The little ingrates want to take away your Social Security & Medicare so the money saved can be used to murder people on the opposite side of tte world.

Not Titled

Fuck it, we already have four items w/ today's date on them.

A Riot, A Riot, A Riot Of Our Own

Bill Boyarsky on "It can happen here (again)."
As I followed the accounts of the British rioting on the BBC, The Guardian and other media, I was struck by how it resembled what we saw in Los Angeles—looting, arson, random attacks on people and buildings burning, often without police or firefighters in sight. We also saw ethnic minorities—mainly African-Americans and Korean-Americans—locked in combat in a city where “minorities” constitute the majority of the population.

What's A "Bailout?"

Pronounced "bye-loot?" Noun or verb?

Devil-Box

When we hit "Publish Post" on the previous item, which we whipped together yesterday & post-dated to today, we noticed that rather than going to "edit posts" & advising us that yes indeed our post would be posted at 0001, it went directly to the hot damn, your post has successfully published (A fucking miracle that, innit?) page. Fine by us, didn't give it a second thought (As w/ most of everything.)

But a few minutes ago we wandered by newly, & (w/o clicking the link or entering anything in the comments box) were confronted by:
Not to worry, of course, because Gurgle does no evil.

Fun W/ Numbers

30 yrs. of DOS & what not.
When the IBM Personal Computer (IBM 5150) was introduced to the world 2530 years ago, it was dramatically clear to most observers that IBM had done something very new and different.
The affordable IBM Personal Computer could be as much fun in the home as it was useful in the office or at school. Children could explore music with the system and its built-in speaker or it could be put to use planning family budgets, analyzing stocks or creating a fantasy world for video game play.
Thirty yrs. ago today, if you want to be picky.
It’s amazing to me to think that August 12 marks the 30th anniversary of the IBM Personal Computer.
Here's the fun:
Section 5150 is a section of the California Welfare and Institutions Code (specifically, the Lanterman–Petris–Short Act or "LPS") which allows a qualified officer or clinician to involuntarily confine a person deemed to have a mental disorder that makes them a danger to him or her self, and/or others and/or gravely disabled. A qualified officer, which includes any California peace officer or paramedic, as well as any specifically designated county clinician, can request the confinement after signing a written declaration. When used as a term, 5150 (pronounced "fifty-one-fifty") can informally refer to the person being confined or to the declaration itself, or colloquially as a verb, as in 'Someone was 5150'd'.
Coincidence?

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Hunh II

We can't believe it. KTLA is sticking w/ this Vampire Diaries (Sample line: "Just because a bunch of dead witches gave me a warning doesn't mean I'm going to die.") crap rather than the Raider game, which will be on at 0000.

For once we don't want to stay awake until 0300. Nobody tell us the score, damnit.

"Negro" Riots!

ON THIS DAY
On Aug. 11, 1965, deadly rioting and looting broke out in the predominantly black Watts section of Los Angeles.
New Negro Riots Erupt on Coast;
3 Reported Shot



Police Seal Off 20 Blocks -- Strife Called Worst in Los Angeles History

By PETER BART
Special to THE NEW YORK TIMES
This Peter Bart? Guess so. Perhaps he didn't type the headline.

Obligatory:Play your harmonica, son.

"Ho! Ho! Ho ...

... Chi Minh! NLF is gonna win!!"

And the NLF did win, enabling Vietnam to offer slave labor to American corporations. So eat shit, losers:
How fucking sad can you be? How does going on about Jane Fonda move America forward? Stop looking back, pointing fingers & assigning blame. That's not the AmericanRepublican way!

And the hell w/ dumb-ass Jane & her "OMG, I'm old & dying, better cover my ass by finding Jesus" horseshit. Fuck, there is no one in this world of shit & pain who is not deserving of our contempt.

Hunh

It's come to our attention that foots-ball is back, in competition w/ a Republican presidential candidate debatemass press conference. The question is, where are we likelier to see injuries, among the foots-ballers who've only had a few days of training camp to whip themselves into shape, or among the nitwit candidates who have no connection to reality & will say something inane &/or outrageous?

And a big fuck you in all available orifices to KTLA Channel 5.1, who've decided to tape-delay the Raiders-Cardinal game until midnight so they can run Vampire Diaries & Plain Jane(?). Or not, depending on which part of the KTLA website &/or various telebision listing services one might be inclined to believe. Including the TWCable box. Fuck you all, then. Do your jobs, cretins.
These people are not happy either!
Added sports note: If we are to be cursed w/ the San Diego Chargers at the proposed downtown football field, somebody make them change their name. We'd be partial to the L.A. Lice, as in "Show Biz Lice."

Derelict In Our Self-Imposed Duty

Via No More Mister Nice Blog, the Texas Observer story on which Rachel Maddow based the two segments we showed yesterday.

And a picture of George W. Bush, an unknown-to-us American baby-killer*, & Rick Perry.
President George W. Bush, Chief of the National Guard Bureau Lt. Gen. H. Steven Blum, Texas Gov. Rick Perry. McAllen-Miller International Airport, McAllen, Texas, 3 AUG 2006. Sgt. Jim Greenhill.
*Oh, excuse the fuck out of us. Per the caption, a cowardly wknd. baby-killer.

It Could Happen

Yikes!
After he wins the nomination, protocol will require Perry to have discussions with Bachmann about the vice presidential slot, but he will, eventually, turn to Sarah Palin. The general election will force the Texan back toward the middle and he will stop talking about faith and abortion and gay marriage; Perry will campaign on jobs and the economy.

Palin, who is loved by the tea party as much as Perry, will keep the Teavangelicals animated while he tries to talk to the adults to win the election on a single issue: the economy, stupiderest!!!
Our only disagreement would be that Ex-Alaska Gov. Palin will never accept anything less than being appointed Queen of America, & Perry will have to take Bachmann as his Veep/stalking horse.

It's Come To This

If any more proof is needed that the decline (We were going to type "long decline," but at this point all bets on duration are off.) is underway & unstoppable, look on these & weep:

Exclusive: The Munsters Back in Development at NBC


CBS developing 'Bewitched' remake

Net orders script, with Wick and Fisher to exec produce for Sony TV

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Rick Perry's Ten Commandments Wrap-Up

Which commandment was the one about not lying?
While Perry places Texas on a pedestal for job development, hundreds of thousands of jobs are expected to be lost in the next two to three years, as a result of the sweeping and historic cuts to the Texas budget, advocated by Perry.

Huge slashes to Medicaid and health and human services marked the Texas budget, as well as some $4 billion sliced from public education, forcing about 12,000 teachers out of work so far, with up to 100,000 out a job in coming months.
Extra points for the Shiner light fixture.

Fond Memories

Ignore the assholes babbling. Among other things, this is the Thrifty at 3rd & Vermont, (now a Rite-Aid) mere blocks from our current dump, not one on Vernon Ave. as Ms. Self-Righteous stated.Note especially that the most popular items to loot seem to be disposable diapers.

Free Speech Returns

Or so we think. Won't actually know until we try to post this.

This being more or less nothing, but let's link to two awful & stupid posts by (Coincidence?) two awful & stupid jerks.

Anne Applebaum in Slate & Bush's favorite historian Andrew Roberts in The Daily Beast on Bovver Boys in Britain.

House Of Cards About to Collapse

Only a day earlier, the Federal Reserve’s announcement that it would keep interest rates near zero for another two years sent the Dow Jones industrial average up almost 430 points. But those gains were more than wiped out Wednesday. At the end of trading, the Dow was down 520 points, or 4.6 percent, and the Standard & Poor’s 500-stock index was off 4.4 percent.

Stupid Jerks

About damn time YouTube made their new border available:

Sunset Blvd.

World's largest 99¢ Only Store?
Largest one in our sphere of influence, anyway.

New Model Meter, which accepts credit cards.
Now the amorphous "they" will be able to tell where you've parked. Or where you are parked. Assuming your mobile hasn't already told them where you are.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Heh Heh

Running this mostly because the up-loader's name is amusingly juvenile. (Perhaps we should call it adolescent, what w/ it being "dirty" & all.)

Dep't. of Amplification

Why that fifty-yrs.-old-yesterday FF #1 was the November issue.
#2,  "January" 1962.

As American As Cherry Pie*

Murtaza Hussain, sitting in for Glenn Greenwald, points a finger & blames you sick American fucks:
When violence happens somewhere else, it is because the people of that place are inherently violent and barbaric and it is viewed as a reflection upon their society in general. Individuals believed to be representative of that society are demanded to reflect upon their societal failings and to offer penance for “their” actions. On the other hand when violence happens at home it is not reflective upon the broader society at all and it is always an aberration needing no further explanation, regardless of the shocking regularity with which it occurs. To say that the substantive difference stems from the fact that violence is somehow rare in America, a country which is undoubtedly one of the most stable and prosperous in the world, is to ignore the reality of what goes on in the U.S. on a regular basis. Since 9/11 there have been approximately 150,000 violent deaths in the United States, a figure which is all the more shocking for the fact that it is somehow considered normal in an ostensibly peaceful society.
Did that sink in? Americans have managed to kill 50 times more people than a collection of Saudi Arabians & a few others did in the 10 yrs. since September, 2001. Where's the mother-fucking OUTRAGE, concerned Americans?

Another good one from another substitute. Check the update for John Derbyshire's appalling load of crap. Can his residence permit or citizenship be revoked? On the basis of "moral character," perhaps?
*Cherry Pie

Police Terrorized

Hey coppers, shoe's on the other foot now, innit?

Monday, August 8, 2011

Loot, Shoot & Wail:
London, Also Birmingham & Liverpool

"Unrest" has spread to Birmingham & Liverpool.The lastmost recent (Never say last!) large scale unrest in L.A. didn't happen until the oinkers who beat Rodney King were acquitted; England's brave youth didn't wait for a bullshit trial, they got to work ASAP.And while we were too busy paying attention to our backyard in '92 to remember if similar resistance occurred in other American cities, Britain's youth are to be commended for raising the stakes across their nation.

M.B. Up-Date

All In Color For A Dime

It was 50 yrs. ago today.
A mere dime? Sheesh.

We've typed previously that it's a good source.

I'm On The Nod ...

Sharing: For no reason of which we can conceive, this tune bubbled from the depths of memory.Seriously, out of nowhere. Not a particular favorite or anything.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Blogger Bitch Of The Day

Any one else observing this phenomenon, or is a cross that only we must bear?

Dude, Like, X-Tremely X-Treme!!

The Transformation of Michele Bachmann

Today's must-read piece: Ryan Lizza profiles Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN).

"Bachmann belongs to a generation of Christian conservatives whose views have been shaped by institutions, tracts, and leaders not commonly known to secular Americans, or even to most Christians. Her campaign is going to be a conversation about a set of beliefs more extreme than those of any American politician of her stature, including Sarah Palin, to whom she is inevitably compared."
And former half-term Alaska Gov. Palin does have rather extreme views, including (possibly) the delusion that she's this century's Queen Esther of Biblical fame. It probably is fair to say that Rep. Bachmann has read a bit more of those tracts & so forth than ex-Gov. Palin, may have a more coherently delusional (or delusionally coherent) political/religious view of these United Snakes, & may be better able to express said views. Not sure if Bachmann's ever attended any pray-away-the-demons events at whichever church she's attending this wk., or at the one she attended for many yrs. before suddenly switching, however.

Hey, maybe if we read the New Yorker piece we could get some idea.

Also: Bachmann piece in Tina Brown's Newsweek this wk. Should provide a contrasting comparison of quality, standard & style.

Holy crap, crazier looking than usual:
Michelle Bachmann on the Campaign trail, Chris Buck for Newsweek

Juvenile Humor Dep't.

Looking for Mickey Kaus? He may be around here somewhere.Technical question: Why the fuck can't the techno-brainiacs make a 'phone (or whatever the fuck this was shot on) w/ a 4:3 aspect ratio? Telebision is better than ever (Definition & aspect ratio-wise. No implications as far as content.) but the Internet & stupid 'phones are returning us to the days of movies seen through Jell-O™.

Live By The Sword, Reap What You Sow

Tottenham riots: Police 'had not anticipated' extreme violence

Met police commander Adrian Hanstock says situation in north London suburb 'escalated out of all proportion'
They commit it, but they can't anticipate it. For once projection could be useful, but no.

Annals Of Advertising (American Iron)

From excellent source of stuff Mark Evanier:Haven't watched yet, but we'll bet every one on camera is now moldering in his or her grave. Nope, Robert Vaughn is still w/ us.

Something New II

Also noting that Chrome has a new & better pop-up blocker. So far (Once, anyway.) it's stopped the pop, rather than merely minimizing it to the taskbar.

Spot The Loonies

How counties went in the 2008 Goofy Obscurantist Party primaries:
Those on the other side of the Great Divide must live like rats in a cage. See how tiny & pathetic their counties are?

The electoral college vote.

Something New

Not quite sure about Chrome/Blogger or whatever suddenly deciding to bring the background of all the crap we copy & paste into items.

Whatever.

Gotta Love It

The police get to murder people, then can't be bovvered to show up to stop the resultant civil unrest.
There was still no police presence at Wood Green high street at 4am, even after dozens of stores had been smashed and raided, setting of multiple alarms.

Around 100 youths sprinted around the highstreet, targeting game shops, electrical stores and high-street clothe [sic] chains such as H & M.
A shame that it is disaffected, alienated youth who show up to loot, shoot & wail, rather than committed activists. Just once we'd like to see all the aggression being directed at the pigs, their vehicles & structures.

Of course, business & property owners do bear the ultimate responsibility for police murder & lesser police atrocities in any capitalist, free market, whatever society.