Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Where's The Waste, Fraud & Abuse Outrage?

Apparently the baby-killers have been wasting a lot of money on crap. One might imagine that if the losers who enlist because they can't find a job in the real world absorbed "Spiritual Fitness" lessons they would realize that Jesus is the alleged Prince of Peace, not the King of Baby Murder, & stage a mutiny or something. Yet the lesson hasn't quite sunk in. Of course, you're dealing w/ clowns who "defend" a nation that won't provide jobs for them, thereby forcing them into the baby-killing services in the first place. Catch-22.

Read & weep.
DoD Funded Evangelical Christian Youth Programs
Service members are not the only ones targeted by evangelical Christian programs paid for with DoD contracts. Military children are also heavily targeted, both here in the U.S. and on bases overseas. Evangelizing the children of service members is one of the largest areas of spending.

The biggest ministry contracted by the DoD to target children is Military Community Youth Ministries (MCYM), whose mission statement is "Celebrate life with military teens, Introduce them to the Life-Giver, Jesus Christ, And help them become more like Him." MCYM has received $12,346,333 in DoD contracts since 2000. One of MCYM's tactics? Stalking "unchurched" military children by following their schools buses.

Ranking second is Cadence International, with over $2,671,603 in contracts since 2003. Cadence describes itself as "an evangelical mission agency dedicated to reaching the military communities of the United States and of the world with the Good News of Jesus Christ." Cadence not only targets young service members and military children for conversion to evangelical Christianity, but also actively tries to convert members of foreign militaries in the countries where they operate under DoD contracts.

In addition to military youth ministries like MYCM and Cadence, military children are also targeted by military base Religious Education Directors, also hired with DoD contracts. These ministries and Religious Education Directors employ tactics that can only be described as "stalking" children, with some DoD contracts even requiring that the contractors identify and target the "unchurched" children at non-religious events and activities and get them into chapel programs, and to supply reports naming these children by name.
At least they aren't naming them by number (yet).

And that's merely the most egregious part we've read so far. Worse:
One of the reasons given by Cadence for the success of its "Strategic Ministry" is: "Deployment and possibly deadly combat are ever-present possibilities. They are shaken. Shaken people are usually more ready to hear about God than those who are at ease, making them more responsive to the gospel." Of course, they must first gain access to these "shaken" soldiers, but that's no problem -- the Army helps them out by allowing them to operate on Army posts and granting the soldiers in AIT extra privileges if they attend Cadence's retreats.
Did "the Life-Giver, Jesus Christ," suggest that the best way to gain converts was to prey on the scared & "shaken?"

This non-Christian nation needs a Hyde Amendment equivalent that sees to it that the First Amendment is not used as kindling for the fires of never-ending holy wars. Hell, we need such an amendment to ensure that our precious tax dollars aren't spent on the abortionmurder of living humans.

Winning

Saw the above in our in-box & thought for a moment that our long-lost (if not entirely forgotten or never even existed) sci-fi epic had been found somewhere & published.

Handbasket to Hell

Was the Great Recession Just Phase 1?

Felix Salmon sounds the alarm over what he believes to be "arguably the most uncertain outlook, in terms of the global political economy, since World War II ended and the era of the welfare state began... Most fundamentally, what I'm seeing as I look around the world is a massive decrease of trust in the institutions of government."

"It looks increasingly as though we're entering Phase 2 of the global crisis, with 2008-9 merely acting as the appetizer. In Phase 1, national and super-national treasuries and central banks managed to come to the rescue and stave off catastrophe. But in doing so, they weakened themselves to the point at which they're unable to rise to the occasion this time round... And that failure, in turn, is only going to further weaken institutional legitimacy across the US and the world. It's a vicious cycle, and I can't see how we're going to break out of it."

Richard Posner: "If we were being honest with ourselves, we would call this a depression. That would certainly better convey both the severity of our problems, and the fact that those problems have no evident solutions."

Megan McArdle Does Not Get It

Go to the source, not the shorter.

East Cost Wimps Shaken Up

Come on, you bunch of Northeastern/Midwestern elitist sissies. Pull up your man-pants!

A reminder: The aftershock can be of greater magnitude than the original temblor.

(And how's that New Madrid fault looking?)

Monday, August 22, 2011

No, We Don't Want To Be Todd Martens

Horrifying of course to have seen a homicide on the train, but this Chicago-adoring (Feel free to move there any time, punk!) typist for the L.A. Times has some serious problems w/ usage/vocabulary too.

We thought "cab" here might have been a simple (YET STILL ABSOLUTELY INEXCUSABLE! Read your crap before posting.) typo,
We were all in the first cab, and the assault occurred directly behind the conductor’s pen. Most riders huddle toward the center of the train, oblivious or disinterested in the fact that the first car provides a grand view of the twists and turns of the Los Angeles tunnels.
but he repeated it:
I looked down, and saw a string of blood working its way down the ridges of the subway cab.
Shouldn't that be "grooves in the floor of the car," or something? Although "a string" would imply it was in just one groove.

Not to mention that he thinks the operator (Not "conductor.") is an animal who is kept in a pen or corral.
The conductor yelled that no one was to leave the train, and went back into his corral.
What the hell? Do young people know nothing, or absolutely nothing? Get this:
The knife looked almost homemade. Its handle was wooden, thick and seemed haphazardly carved. The blade was crude, maybe four or five inches long and three inches wide. A reporter asked me if it could have been a kitchen knife. I haven’t spent enough time in kitchens or Crate & Barrels to know exactly what a kitchen knife would look like.
Odd & specific details to remember, but does Martens really not know from a kitchen knife? The blade was "crude," as if it had been forged in a backyard smithy somewhere?

Also, he's a pig:
I saw a beautiful woman who had been on the train frantically asking people what happened, and I walked over to tell her. If Hollywood has taught me anything, it’s that meet-traumatic has far more power than the meet-cute, but as I got closer I saw she had a wedding ring and opted to let others fill her in.
This after he "knew he would be sick." Odd that after giving up on romance he managed to walk about two blocks before heaving in front of Trader Joe's.

We're feeling a little sick now ourself, especially after determining that Todd must be closer to 30 than to 20.

The literate among you are invited to look for other oddities in his lexicon. The prize for finding them is that you don't get stabbed.

This isn't bad usage, but it's cretinous:
I have never, at least knowingly, been less than five feet away from someone with the capacity to stab another human being.
Wise up before it's too late. Even your board-game playing hipster indie-rock "friends" probably have the capacity to stab someone, quite possibly over a board game.

Just Idiotic

Line-up for the most likely cancelled Sunset Junction Music Festival & Street Fair. Note how fucking stupid the majority of the band names are:
Granted, the good names ran out a while back, but would you pay good money (Let alone US$25.00!!) to see a collection of losers w/ a gerund in their sentence fragment of a name?

Anti-Social In-Security

Unsure what, if anything, this may mean to the financial future of this reporter, but now that it's been five yrs. since we were sent to the hospital (& let out) we may be able to git some guns w/ which to take revenge on any shit-heel who fucks w/ our insurance payments.

We'd better start saving some of that "free" money, we s'pose.

Will Not Be Missed

In local news, apparently no Sunset Junction fest this yr.

Used to be fun (Especially when we lived two blocks above it & many "friends" would wander by the pad for drinking, whatnot & a place to sit the fuck down for a few minutes.) but got bigger & dumber each yr.: By the time they started fencing it in & charging serious money (as opposed to the US$5.00 "donations" of our relative youth) the party was over.

Now it's officially over.

RIOT

Humor in a jugular vein from Atlas. A sample:
Guy looks familiar ... can't quite place him 'though.

Annals Of Redundancy: Religious Bullshit

Compare & contrast.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Big Sky Country

Good Stuff On Telebision

Como Mango

A song about mangoes (Or a mango.) from Lucky 7.
video
"Like a mango/What a tasty mango"

Winning The Vulgarity Sweepstakes

A Hummer wrapped in money.
Credit is begrudged that it is at least a "real, G.I." Hummer, not an overstuffed for assholes H2.

Body Bags

Preferably in a mass grave.

Has Suffered For His Art

Stadium Parking Lot & Bathroom
Violence Round-Up

It's possible Raider fans won't be blamed for this one.
-- A man wearing a "Fuck the 49ers" T-shirt was shot outside Candlestick Park shortly after the end of Saturday night's preseason game between the Raiders and 49ers, a police sergeant said.
No, typed too soon.
Police detained a suspect shortly after the shooting - a man wearing Raiders apparel who was found on a party bus in an RV section of the parking lot, according to San Francisco Police Sgt. Frank Harrell.

[...]

A second shooting victim was found near Pole V in the parking lot, Harrell said, and had superficial wounds to his face. He was listed in stable condition at S.F. General.

In addition, according to Bay City News, a San Rafael man, 26, was assaulted and knocked unconscious in a restroom at Candlestick during the game, police said. He was taken to the hospital with life-threatening injuries.

[...]

Police believe all three men attended the game. A police statement said the man in critical condition was 24 and the other shooting victim was in his 20s.

The two shooting victims were found separately and any link between them, or between either of them and the suspect, had not been established.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

No Forbidden Planet

Went to see this load of drivelclassic of 1950s cinema today.Had never previously seen it on the big screen or in color, & didn't know it was one of the last flicks made using Technicolor's three-strip process. Scratchy print w/ a couple of sucky splices 'though. Great job Universal: "35mm print supplied by Universal Studios." Couldn't do a little restoration?

We are surprised no one has yet remade it (or Forbidden Planet).

Always a thrill to see a movie w/ an audience, of course. When Russell (The Professor, of Gilligan's Island) Johnson appeared, one, maybe two people applauded. And when the big-head alien asked Dr. Ruth Adams (Faith Domergue) if she (A friggin' atomic scientist!) wasn't, "as a woman, curious" many of our fellow film-goers burst into laughter. Time marches on.

Added Fun

Outbreak of tar.
Not yet fenced off, like these two.

Severance Check

"Mark Heisler (formerly) of the Los Angeles Times" delivers an obit.

Truthdig editor Robert Scheer's note:
Editor’s note: The Los Angeles Times’ Mark Heisler, 2006 winner of the Naismith Basketball Hall of Fame’s Curt Gowdy Award and a Truthdig contributor, was laid off by the newspaper in July, one year before he planned to retire. With 44 years in the business, and 32 at the Times, he reminds us that newspapers were in trouble long before the Internet but still offer at least the promise of something their competitors can’t match. Bearing in mind his severance agreement not to “disparage” the company “in any way,” he nonetheless provides an inside look as one of the world’s great papers is bought, sold and turned into a caricature of its former self.
We note in passing that not long after the Times let Mr. Scheer go from his columnist position, one Jonah Goldberg began appearing on the Times' op-ed page each Tuesday.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Fast Food Friday Continues

No Catholicism here, it's all-meat, all the time.

And synchronicity strikes again: No sooner do we mention Pink's than it is invaded by Bristle Palin & friends. This apparently occurred yesterday, 18 August.In other Pink's poop, Aunt Snow mentions that she visited in 1997 & there wasn't much of a line. Our blaming Hollywood & Highland may have been correct.

Real Food For Real Men

We done et at most of these dumps, 'though never at Tacos Delta. It still exists, so there's still a chance, although menudo gives us the creeps, & some of it might get into our taco; don't hold your breath for an exclusive review.Spotted here.

Who Are The Art Police?

The oinking bastards of the Long Beach Police Dep't., if you didn't know already.
Police Chief Jim McDonnell has confirmed that detaining photographers for taking pictures "with no apparent esthetic value" is within Long Beach Police Department policy.
Criminal photograph.
"If an officer sees someone taking pictures of something like a refinery," says McDonnell, "it is incumbent upon the officer to make contact with the individual." McDonnell went on to say that whether said contact becomes detainment depends on the circumstances the officer encounters.

McDonnell says that while there is no police training specific to determining whether a photographer's subject has "apparent esthetic value," officers make such judgments "based on their overall training and experience" and will generally approach photographers not engaging in "regular tourist behavior."

This policy apparently falls under the rubric of compiling Suspicious Activity Reports (SAR) as outlined in the Los Angeles Police Department's Special Order No. 11, a March 2008 statement of the LAPD's "policy …  to make every effort to accurately and appropriately gather, record and analyze information, of a criminal or non-criminal nature, that could indicate activity or intentions related to either foreign or domestic terrorism."
Yes, you "have" "rights." NO, YOU MAY NOT USE THEM!

Music B(4)

Really. He suggested 'em.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Inner Monologue Externalized

Even if we were mentally & psychologically capable of it, we still wouldn't give a shit.

Sudden Realization UPDATE (19 August 2011 @2255): That really should be "Interior Monologue," shouldn't it? See how little & late we care?

Spot The Ninny Living In The Past

The pants-pissers still fear ... THE SOVIET UNION!!
In an interview with conservative talk show host Jay Sekoluw, Bachmann said she knew what was bothering the American people. Bachmann described America's worries as a "unified message," before listing off about five things, one of which is a long-gone country:
It really is about jobs and the economy. That doesn't mean people haven't [sic] forgotten about protecting life and marriage and the sanctity of the family. People are very concerned about that as well. But what people recognize is that there's a fear that the United States is in an unstoppable decline. They see the rise of China, the rise of India, the rise of the Soviet Union and our loss militarily going forward.
Good answer, Michele. And what about the Ottoman Empire? Should we fear them, too? Is America prepared for a naval attack from the Phoenicians?
We are also quite amused by "our loss militarily going forward." In English that might have been expressed as "potential reduction of the defense budget," unless Rep. Bachmann believes these United Snakes are going to lose "militarily" some time in the future. The audio. Plus which.

And the just plain silly (Note: On the Just Another Blog™ devil-box there is a burst of irksome static as the advert starts, then, mercifully, there is no advert audio. Take the good w/ the bad, eh?):Who "came out today?" Mr. Representative Bachmann? Or was it Michele, advertising herself as a "man-ette?" And speaking of Mme. Bachmann's fashion adviser/buyer, has no one told him that those sleeveless dresses she wears are very immodest, if not downright slutty?

Spot The Hypocrites

Obama Begins His Summer Vacation

President Obama leaves today for a 10-day summer vacation on Martha's Vineyard but once again faces Republican criticism that he's taking time off while the country faces tremendous problems, the Boston Globe reports.

The Chicago Sun Times notes that this is Obama's ninth vacation since taking office and has spent all or part of 38 days on vacation away from the White House. He has also made 14 visits to Camp David spanning all or part of 32 days, for a total of 70 days.

In contrast, former President George W. Bush, at this point in his first term, had made 14 visits to his Texas ranch spanning all or part of 102 days and also made 40 visits to Camp David spanning all or part of 123 days. His vacation total at this point in his presidency was all or part of 225 days away.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Pink's Line

Never figured it out. The sheep weren't lined up like lambs to the slaughter during the '70s, but at a point which we didn't notice (The '80s? We left the general neighborhood in 1985 & didn't keep a close eye on things after that.) Pink's caught on, mostly, we surmise, w/ tourist scumvisitors to our fair city, & now, per this item, it takes an hour to get your dog. We can't confirm that it does take an hr., 'cause we aren't waiting five damn mins. for a fugging chili dog, esp. not in a line w/ bloated mid-Westerners & their mutant spawn who think a visit to the Gap store at Hollywood & Highland is intrinsically different from a visit to the Gap in Podunk, but there sure as hell is a long, long line there every time we wander past.

Disgusting detail.

Today's Asshole Of The Day

From (No surprise!) TheDC, an asshole named Mencken (It's a pseudonym. Gutsy fellow.) announces:
“What about Ron Paul?! He took second! Doesn’t he warrant a mention?”

This meme has been echoed even by the likes of Jon Stewart, whose fanciful quest to ferret out every trace of hypocrisy on the side of his opponents has instead led him down the rabbit hole of self-righteousness and false punditry, always thinly veiled by a layer of badly applied clown makeup.
OK, just stupid & juvenile so far. No need to hold your breath, however. Just your nose.
Because Ron Paul is a joke at the expense of the Right, and his second place showing in the straw poll was the bad punch line. The man tracks with (and may agree with) racist, conspiracy-mongering mongoloids so vile that they would instantly discredit libertarianism if any liberal media outlet more relevant than The New Republic ever bothered to cover them. Those who disagree are invited to explain the chumminess between Ron Paul and the Mises Institute, whose patron Saint Murray Rothbard once made a habit of paling around both with Maoists and with the followers of David Duke, for the simple reason that the responsible Right failed to display a sufficient hatred of America relative to those two groups.
Mongoloids. Ha ha. What is it, 1955? Also funny: A pseudonymous clown typing for TheDC claiming that "liberal media outlet" TNR isn't relevant.

And here's the big fun:
What Paul’s partisans fail to apprehend is that the reason that coverage is not forthcoming for their hero is because Paul has made himself the avatar of a time-tested brand of Republicanism: That is, self-hating Republicanism. The reason disingenuous sniggerers like Stewart sympathize with Paul, and why Rachel Maddow will fawningly ask him to explain his crackpot theories between heaping mouthful [sic] of carpet is because Ron Paul attacks his own party with twice the zeal he ever uses against liberals. He spouts the same nonsense talking points as members of the Pacifist Left (“Iran is only defending themselves!”) and the Socialist Left (“Corporations aren’t people! Only people are people!”) with the ingenious capacity for somehow duping legions of devoted followers into believing these time-tested left wing gobs of spit are somehow true conservatism. It’s time someone explained precisely why this designation is as fantastical as Paul’s chances at election are.
Does he mean Rachel Maddow is as nutty as Hitler, who was alleged to be rug-chewingly mad? Or have we somehow missed the hard core carpet-munching that is (Subliminally?) interspersed w/ Ms. Maddow's questions?

Because TheDC needs clicks, there are four more pages of this (Granted, an easy condemnation of Rep. Paul's economic cow patties.) but we'd as soon poke ourself w/ a sharp stick as use that stick to search through the urine-filled tank to spear more poop nuggets.

We will share that Pseudo-Mencken's main gripe w/ the Texas Turkey is that he is not bloody-minded enough to engage in pre-emptive attacks/strikes/wars against any nation, group or individual that looks cross-eyed at these United Snakes. Help yourselves if you like. Just don't say you weren't warned.

(First person singular here.)

More Music More Often (For Morons)

First release from Screaming "Lord" Sutch & The Savages (1961):Something we did not know: In the Rolling Stones song "Get Off of My Cloud", the guy who shows up "All dressed up just like a Union Jack" was Lord Sutch uninvited in Mick Jagger's room. ("Lord" Sutch via The Belated Nerd, who has an amusing bit on a neglected Jack Kirby trope.)

Buddy Rich on the skins:Give it up for the cat on the licorice stick.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Return Of The Son Of Grammar Nazi:
The Meghan McCaining

Meghan (Sez The Wiki: She attended Columbia University, where she earned her bachelor's degree in art history.) McCain types:


I think it’s quite obvious at this point that Sarah Palin is starting to feel threatened that there are new Republican darlings in town and that the media stronghold she once monopolized is clearly loosening.

"Stronghold?" Does she mean ...Not ironic or nuffin'. We like this one*.

Bonus Art Historian material:
I know Palin hasn’t asked for my advice, and I assume the likelihood of that ever happening in my lifetime is probably about the same as the likelihood of hell freezing over. That being said, my advice to Sarah Palin would be, continue to hold the position as the leader and the symbol of right-wing America that you are, continue making boat loads of cash, and stop acting so threatened that the media might forget you. If you are in fact seriously considering running for president, you have reached the eleventh hour and the clock is ticking. Fish or cut bait, Sarah. Either put your hat in the ring and show America what you want to do with our country, or step back and let other politicians whose time has come have their moment. God knows, you have had yours.
She does know how to pad it, doesn't she?

*Because (as we just noticed) there are some riffs from "Bolero" in it?

Elvis Is Still Dead

1000 Words Worth (x2)

Commentary.

Commitment To Siphoning

Politics & the clowns who practice it continuing to be nauseating ('Though we are amused that Dick Perry is getting abuse from both sides of the aisle for being a stupid jerk.) we'll wallow in honky nostalgia for baseball & Frank Sinatra. (To hell w/ apple pie & Chevrolet.)

Shorter Dodger management: "Fuck the Fans."
In a statement, the Dodgers said there is no need for an official committee of ticket holders because their interests "will not be affected by the Chapter 11 cases."

Today Is "Die On Your Toilet" Day

You know, in honor of the first white guy who sounded like a "Negro" (& could therefore make some real money for record companies) to be discovered & exploited.

Monday, August 15, 2011

One-A-Day

Were we currently in give-a-shit mode, we would have found some content for today's minimum.

(Even picking labels is really too much bother.)

No, wait: Vote for us,
because we don't give a flying fuck at a rolling dough-nut.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Who Does This Asshole Think He Is?

Quote of the Day


"One of the reasons that I'm running for president is I want to make sure that every young man and woman who puts on the uniform of the United States respects highly the president of the United States."

-- Rick Perry, quoted by Ben Smith, who notes the line "is a reversal of the usual pledges of respect for the military from politicians."

Badge 714

We suppose we must weigh in on this from the carpetbaggers of The NYT. (Slideshow.)
The morning roll call, which 20 years ago would have been, for the most part, a lineup of white men with military haircuts, included blacks, Latinos, Asians and women, evidence of what Mayor Antonio R. Villaraigosa described in an interview as the result of an aggressive and crucial effort to diversify the department.
True enough. But we suspect that a good number of the new faces, no matter their skin tone/hair style (We've also noted that many officers have taken the look of their enemies, the shave-it-once-a-wk.-or-so gang members to their heads as well.) are still dick-swinging junior fascist thugs.

The LAPD, in the bad old days, indicated a preference for recruiting veterans, or, at the least, guys who had "participated in team sports." W/ these United Snakes' never-ending wars, there's a limitless supply of the PTSD-afflicted to fill the ranks. Many a local of Hispanic/Latino descent w/ few other prospects has ended up joining the military, & will no doubt be recruited by the LAPD on his or her return home when s/he can't get work after "serving."

Only one incident is needed to relight the powder keg. Which will be next, a big quake or more civil unrest? (Minimum of 50 deaths in both the '92 riots & '94 earthquake. If nature doesn't kill you, a pig will.)

You May Be A Moron If ...

If our ideas seem smaller nowadays, it’s not because we are dumber than our forebears but because we just don’t care as much about ideas as they did.* In effect, we are living in an increasingly post-idea world — a world in which big, thought-provoking ideas that can’t instantly be monetized are of so little intrinsic value that fewer people are generating them and fewer outlets are disseminating them, the Internet notwithstanding. Bold ideas are almost passé.

It is no secret, especially here in America, that we live in a post-Enlightenment age in which rationality, science, evidence, logical argument and debate have lost the battle in many sectors, and perhaps even in society generally, to superstition, faith, opinion and orthodoxy. While we continue to make giant technological advances, we may be the first generation to have turned back the epochal clock — to have gone backward intellectually from advanced modes of thinking into old modes of belief. But post-Enlightenment and post-idea, while related, are not exactly the same.

Post-Enlightenment refers to a style of thinking that no longer deploys the techniques of rational thought. Post-idea refers to thinking that is no longer done, regardless of the style.
It sadly degenerates into drivel decrying information overload rather than continuing to insult every last dimbulb walking the earth,

The fault lies not in our trillions of terabytes of shit, but in the billions of lumps of unthinking humanoid protoplasm that so thickly cover the world.

*Seems to us as good a definition of "dumber than our forebears" (As if that were even possible.) as any.

Village Perry People

The peeps at Pimp My Presidential Ride must've been working overtime to get his shit-mobile tricked out.
Full slogan: Get America Working For Minimum Wage & No Benefits Again.
They just ran out of space.
Rick's fashion advisers have already covered Military Man
& Cowboy.
Still to go: First American, Hard Hat, Biker & Police Ossifer.

Handicapped Parking Hawk

Check out this hawk spotted early this morning at Dodger Stadium ... this is a real photo!
From the Former Bums o' Brooklyn's Twit feed. While we've seen many a hawk aloft near the hills, we've never caught one at rest.

The Man Can't Bust Our Music!

First the boner-pill people appropriated "Smokestack Lightning," forcing us to develop an even quicker mute-button finger, then the dilrods at the FIAT* advertising agency decided to cop the intro to "Jailhouse Rock" for their reintroduction of the FIAT* brand to these United Snakes.

Here we take them back.Yes, it is perpetually around 1956 inside our brain.Hah! Fooled all of you w/ that one, didn't we?

*Need we spell it out for you? There's a reason FIAT disappeared from the North American market for some time.

The Painter Of Light: Early Work

Before he really hit his stride.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Aggie Joke

Our favorite, 'though when we first heard it a spider was the featured creature. Actually works a bit better w/ a frog. Whatever.
An Aggie scientist is doing experiments on a frog, trying to find out the effects of cutting its legs off.

The Aggie saws the first leg off and says, "Jump, frog, jump." The frog jumps five feet. The Aggie makes a note: With three legs, frog jumps five feet.

The Aggie then saws off another leg and says, "Jump, frog jump!" The frog jumps one foot. The Aggie makes a note: With two legs, frog jumps one foot.

Finally, the Aggie saws off the last foot and says, "Jump, frog jump! ... Jump, frog jump! ... Jump, frog jump!"

The Aggie scientist makes a note: With no legs, frog goes completely deaf.

Rick "Crotch" Perry

Clintonian cretin Paul Begala levels the snark at ostentatiously Christian cretin Rick Perry.
I first met Rick Perry in 1985. He was a Democratic freshman state rep, straight off the ranch in Haskell, Texas. He wore his jeans so tight, and, umm, adjusted himself so often that my fellow young legislative aides and I used to call him Crotch. Even among state representatives, even among Texas Aggies (graduates of this cute remedial school we have in Texas), Perry stood out for his modest intellectual gifts. Hell, he got a C in animal breeding. I have goats who got an A in that subject. But lack of brains has never been a hindrance in politics.
Aggie jokes.

G-d Punishes Iowa For Straw Vote

Except he got the wrong state. (Perfectly understandable, we can't differentiate either. They both start w/ "I," after all.) More pix.
Show bidnis: It's no picnic.
INDIANAPOLIS - State police confirm three people were reportedly killed when a stage collapsed at a concert at the Indiana State Fair. They say a fourth person may have also died. Fair officials said on Twitter late Saturday that four were confirmed dead.

[...]

The stage was set up for the Sugarland concert at the state fairgrounds. Rigging for the stage lighting reportedly fell around 8:50 p.m., before the main act took the stage.

BED PEACE

This wknd. only! (Better hurry, it's later than we think!) John&Yoko. Dick Gregory. Tim Leary. Al Capp. (OK, he's who we're really interested in.) Al Capp?Dunno why it embeds, if it's all THIS WKND. ONLY, but we s'pose come Monday there'll just be a black hole above.

We Must, We Must ...

Bonus Quote of the Day

"I cannot wait to go get my fried butter on a stick, and fried cheesecake on a stick and...Twinkies, especially in honor of those who would rather just be forced to eat our peas."

-- Sarah Palin, in an interview with David Brody, on what she'll be doing at the Iowa State Fair.
Our immediate guess is she's trying to get some meat back on her bones, as evidenced here.
12 August, 2011 at the Iowa State Fair.
At the Belmont Stakes, 2010.
Really, Sarah?

First Sacrificial Lamb Results In

Any second now...

And the winner is ...

M. Bachmann.

Ron Paul a close second. He & Bachmann took over half of the 16,000+ votes.

As B/4, Dillinger

Contemplated an A-200 or Kwell poll, but a look at Kwell (Lindane) indicates trying A-200 first. Sheesh.

Nice Suits, Too

Seems as if everybody's covered this one. Here's a poppy-peppy version:

Fear Of A (Really) Black Planet

Sorry, couldn't resist.
The findings published at Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics mention that the distant, Jupiter sized planet reflects less than one percent of the sunlight falling on it, making it blacker than coal or any planet or moon in our solar system.

"TrES-2b is considerably less reflective than black acrylic paint, so it's truly an alien world," states astronomer David Kipping of the Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics (CfA), lead author on the paper reporting the research.

Not Un-Encouraging

Are ordinary Americans ("... just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know ... morons.") wising up?
If this organic movement were happening on the right, it would be front-page news in every national newspaper in the country. We know because the distinctly non-organic movement in 2009 was front-page news.
Could be.

Immigration & Emigration Policy Recap

Fifty yrs. ago:

Three-Way W/ A Foot-Long

Apparently stuffing something in her mouth will narrow her eyes a bit.
Michele Bachmann, Iowa born and the favourite to win the Straw Poll, arrived half an hour late for her slot and then spoke for just over two minutes, saying that Iowans were “going to send the signal” to the rest of America just as they had in 2008.  “This is where Barack Obama got his start. This is where he’s going to come to his end, in Iowa.”

She beat a hasty retreat after being aggressively heckled by a young man who shouted that she believed homosexuals were “second-class citizens” and that she should not try to “pray away the gay”.

Driving away on a golf cart with her husband Marcus beside her, Mrs Bachmann stopped to buy a foot-long corn dog – a chicken and beef sausage in deep-fried batter. After applying mustard and allowing Mr Bachmann to take the first bite, she chomped into it with gusto.
UPDATE: TBogg was up a bit earlier than we were. (There's a surprise!) Two minds, one juvenile thought.

UPDATE II: From a TBogg comment, we see M.B. (Not us or her, him.) getting his.
UPDATE II: Follow the logic (& grammar) here, if you can.
“It is her responsibility to address social issues in her area, and there have been six suicides in the last year from being bullied in her district,” Aderhold said to The Des Moines Register prior to heckling Michele Bachmann today at the Iowa State Fair.

His interview with The Register was interrupted by Caleb Humphrey, an Eldora resident and Army veteran of the Iraq war who disapproved of his actions.

“Here, I’ll tell you this,” Humphrey said to Aderhold. “You’re not going to have too much fun being gay when you ain’t got no money.”

Spot The Hypocrites

From The People's Daily Online:
BEIJING, Aug. 12 (Xinhua) -- Following days of violent riots in Britain, speculation has grown as to why and how the trouble spread so rapidly.

Apparently the rioters used social media, like Twitter, Facebook and the Blackberry messenger system and Prime Minister David Cameron said Thursday he's looking at banning potential troublemakers from using the online services.

The British government, once an ardent advocate of absolute Internet freedom, has thus made a U-turn over its stance towards web-monitoring.

Communications tools such as Facebook and cellphones also played a delicate role in the massive social upheaval earlier this year in north Africa and neighboring west Asian countries, whose governments then imposed targeted censorship over message flows on the Internet.

In a speech delivered in Kuwait in February, the British prime minister, however, argued that freedom of expression should be respected "in Tahrir Square as much as Trafalgar Square."

Learning a hard lesson from bitter experience, the British government eventually recognized that a balance needs to be struck between freedom and the monitoring of social media tools.

Cameron himself admitted that the "free flow of information can be used for good. But it can also be used for ill."

"And when people are using social media for violence, we need to stop them," he told lawmakers Thursday.

We may wonder why western leaders, on the one hand, tend to indiscriminately accuse other nations of monitoring, but on the other take for granted their steps to monitor and control the Internet.

They are not interested in learning what content those nations are monitoring, let alone their varied national conditions or their different development stages.

Laying undue emphasis on Internet freedom, the western leaders become prejudiced against those "other than us," stand ready to put them in the dock and attempt to stir up their internal conflicts.

With no previous practice, the world is still exploring effective solutions to Internet monitoring.

"Technology has no morality," observed Emma Duncan, deputy editor of The Economist.

And the Internet is also a double-edged sword that cuts both ways. For the benefit of the general public, proper web-monitoring is legitimate and necessary.
The "general public," or the national security state?

Just Grow A Penis, Ladies

Oooh, poor besieged Klavan. Of course he's right, because being female or of more recent African heritage is precisely like being a conservative. They're all born that way!

We couldn't begin to tell you all the times we've tried to convince someone just to stop being black so he can get that major league managing gig. Hasn't worked yet, but we'll keep trying.

Friday, August 12, 2011

"He Wasn't Just A Puppet ..."

From the perpetually delayed New Republic feed, a wk. (Or three days. Do young people know nothing?) at the Nat'l. Conservative Student Conference, which appears to the typist to be more of an exercise in nostalgia than anything else.
Each seat at the banquet came equipped with free Reagan swag, including the DVD, Still Point In A Turning World: Ronald Reagan and his Ranch, directed by Stephen K. Bannon, which screened after a dinner keynote from Senator Marco Rubio. The documentary was pure ranch-fetishism. The film swept through three decades of chintzy stock-footage: gathering socialist storms, firefighters, soviets, steelworkers, and finally, the Gipper building fences. “To understand this great man,” intoned the narrator—Patrick Warburton, the voice of Joe Swanson on Family Guy—“you must understand his beloved ranch.”
Stephen K. Bannon being the creator of the wildly successful Palin hagio-pic The Undefeated.
Unfortunately, the evening’s festivities began with a letdown. The scheduled guest, Senator Jim DeMint, had fled town for an early vacation after the debt deal. Dinesh D’Souza had also bailed. A replacement was found at the last minute: the teutonic blonde-maned Mari Will, wife of columnist George and former Reagan speechwriter.

[...]

“No questions?” she finally sighed. There was a painful silence, until a lone plea rang out from the front: “Will you tell us just one Reagan story?” She sighed and obliged: a quick one about Reagan improvising at the podium. “Remember,” she closed, “He wasn’t just a puppet; he was one of us … . Don’t believe what the liberals say about his Alzheimer’s.” Quickly shifting the subject away from cognitive deterioration, conservative Washington Examiner reporter Tim Carney closed the evening with a popular message: Republicans are selling the conservative movement short. “Move the party to the right!” was his biggest applause line of the night. Spoken in the wake of the debt crisis, it seemed hard to believe.
More like a marionette, but nobody was pulling his strings.
Case in point, Alyssa Cordova, a recent graduate of George Mason University and one of CPAC’s “Stars of the Future.” The title of her speech? “Thank You, Feminism: Six Ways that Feminism Has Hurt Society.” Even here, I sensed, this would be a tough sell. “A lot of guys hate Michele Bachmann,” a guy named John had told me earlier. Why? “Well, look, she has that anti-porn pledge.” He quickly added, “Now, wait, don’t get me wrong, I don’t, like, support porn.”
Meaning he doesn't pay for it.

Never trust anyone under 30: The little ingrates want to take away your Social Security & Medicare so the money saved can be used to murder people on the opposite side of tte world.

Not Titled

Fuck it, we already have four items w/ today's date on them.

A Riot, A Riot, A Riot Of Our Own

Bill Boyarsky on "It can happen here (again)."
As I followed the accounts of the British rioting on the BBC, The Guardian and other media, I was struck by how it resembled what we saw in Los Angeles—looting, arson, random attacks on people and buildings burning, often without police or firefighters in sight. We also saw ethnic minorities—mainly African-Americans and Korean-Americans—locked in combat in a city where “minorities” constitute the majority of the population.

What's A "Bailout?"

Pronounced "bye-loot?" Noun or verb?

Devil-Box

When we hit "Publish Post" on the previous item, which we whipped together yesterday & post-dated to today, we noticed that rather than going to "edit posts" & advising us that yes indeed our post would be posted at 0001, it went directly to the hot damn, your post has successfully published (A fucking miracle that, innit?) page. Fine by us, didn't give it a second thought (As w/ most of everything.)

But a few minutes ago we wandered by newly, & (w/o clicking the link or entering anything in the comments box) were confronted by:
Not to worry, of course, because Gurgle does no evil.

Fun W/ Numbers

30 yrs. of DOS & what not.
When the IBM Personal Computer (IBM 5150) was introduced to the world 2530 years ago, it was dramatically clear to most observers that IBM had done something very new and different.
The affordable IBM Personal Computer could be as much fun in the home as it was useful in the office or at school. Children could explore music with the system and its built-in speaker or it could be put to use planning family budgets, analyzing stocks or creating a fantasy world for video game play.
Thirty yrs. ago today, if you want to be picky.
It’s amazing to me to think that August 12 marks the 30th anniversary of the IBM Personal Computer.
Here's the fun:
Section 5150 is a section of the California Welfare and Institutions Code (specifically, the Lanterman–Petris–Short Act or "LPS") which allows a qualified officer or clinician to involuntarily confine a person deemed to have a mental disorder that makes them a danger to him or her self, and/or others and/or gravely disabled. A qualified officer, which includes any California peace officer or paramedic, as well as any specifically designated county clinician, can request the confinement after signing a written declaration. When used as a term, 5150 (pronounced "fifty-one-fifty") can informally refer to the person being confined or to the declaration itself, or colloquially as a verb, as in 'Someone was 5150'd'.
Coincidence?

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Hunh II

We can't believe it. KTLA is sticking w/ this Vampire Diaries (Sample line: "Just because a bunch of dead witches gave me a warning doesn't mean I'm going to die.") crap rather than the Raider game, which will be on at 0000.

For once we don't want to stay awake until 0300. Nobody tell us the score, damnit.

"Negro" Riots!

ON THIS DAY
On Aug. 11, 1965, deadly rioting and looting broke out in the predominantly black Watts section of Los Angeles.
New Negro Riots Erupt on Coast;
3 Reported Shot



Police Seal Off 20 Blocks -- Strife Called Worst in Los Angeles History

By PETER BART
Special to THE NEW YORK TIMES
This Peter Bart? Guess so. Perhaps he didn't type the headline.

Obligatory:Play your harmonica, son.

"Ho! Ho! Ho ...

... Chi Minh! NLF is gonna win!!"

And the NLF did win, enabling Vietnam to offer slave labor to American corporations. So eat shit, losers:
How fucking sad can you be? How does going on about Jane Fonda move America forward? Stop looking back, pointing fingers & assigning blame. That's not the AmericanRepublican way!

And the hell w/ dumb-ass Jane & her "OMG, I'm old & dying, better cover my ass by finding Jesus" horseshit. Fuck, there is no one in this world of shit & pain who is not deserving of our contempt.

Hunh

It's come to our attention that foots-ball is back, in competition w/ a Republican presidential candidate debatemass press conference. The question is, where are we likelier to see injuries, among the foots-ballers who've only had a few days of training camp to whip themselves into shape, or among the nitwit candidates who have no connection to reality & will say something inane &/or outrageous?

And a big fuck you in all available orifices to KTLA Channel 5.1, who've decided to tape-delay the Raiders-Cardinal game until midnight so they can run Vampire Diaries & Plain Jane(?). Or not, depending on which part of the KTLA website &/or various telebision listing services one might be inclined to believe. Including the TWCable box. Fuck you all, then. Do your jobs, cretins.
These people are not happy either!
Added sports note: If we are to be cursed w/ the San Diego Chargers at the proposed downtown football field, somebody make them change their name. We'd be partial to the L.A. Lice, as in "Show Biz Lice."

Derelict In Our Self-Imposed Duty

Via No More Mister Nice Blog, the Texas Observer story on which Rachel Maddow based the two segments we showed yesterday.

And a picture of George W. Bush, an unknown-to-us American baby-killer*, & Rick Perry.
President George W. Bush, Chief of the National Guard Bureau Lt. Gen. H. Steven Blum, Texas Gov. Rick Perry. McAllen-Miller International Airport, McAllen, Texas, 3 AUG 2006. Sgt. Jim Greenhill.
*Oh, excuse the fuck out of us. Per the caption, a cowardly wknd. baby-killer.

It Could Happen

Yikes!
After he wins the nomination, protocol will require Perry to have discussions with Bachmann about the vice presidential slot, but he will, eventually, turn to Sarah Palin. The general election will force the Texan back toward the middle and he will stop talking about faith and abortion and gay marriage; Perry will campaign on jobs and the economy.

Palin, who is loved by the tea party as much as Perry, will keep the Teavangelicals animated while he tries to talk to the adults to win the election on a single issue: the economy, stupiderest!!!
Our only disagreement would be that Ex-Alaska Gov. Palin will never accept anything less than being appointed Queen of America, & Perry will have to take Bachmann as his Veep/stalking horse.

It's Come To This

If any more proof is needed that the decline (We were going to type "long decline," but at this point all bets on duration are off.) is underway & unstoppable, look on these & weep:

Exclusive: The Munsters Back in Development at NBC


CBS developing 'Bewitched' remake

Net orders script, with Wick and Fisher to exec produce for Sony TV

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Rick Perry's Ten Commandments Wrap-Up

Which commandment was the one about not lying?
While Perry places Texas on a pedestal for job development, hundreds of thousands of jobs are expected to be lost in the next two to three years, as a result of the sweeping and historic cuts to the Texas budget, advocated by Perry.

Huge slashes to Medicaid and health and human services marked the Texas budget, as well as some $4 billion sliced from public education, forcing about 12,000 teachers out of work so far, with up to 100,000 out a job in coming months.
Extra points for the Shiner light fixture.

Fond Memories

Ignore the assholes babbling. Among other things, this is the Thrifty at 3rd & Vermont, (now a Rite-Aid) mere blocks from our current dump, not one on Vernon Ave. as Ms. Self-Righteous stated.Note especially that the most popular items to loot seem to be disposable diapers.

Free Speech Returns

Or so we think. Won't actually know until we try to post this.

This being more or less nothing, but let's link to two awful & stupid posts by (Coincidence?) two awful & stupid jerks.

Anne Applebaum in Slate & Bush's favorite historian Andrew Roberts in The Daily Beast on Bovver Boys in Britain.

House Of Cards About to Collapse

Only a day earlier, the Federal Reserve’s announcement that it would keep interest rates near zero for another two years sent the Dow Jones industrial average up almost 430 points. But those gains were more than wiped out Wednesday. At the end of trading, the Dow was down 520 points, or 4.6 percent, and the Standard & Poor’s 500-stock index was off 4.4 percent.

Stupid Jerks

About damn time YouTube made their new border available:

Sunset Blvd.

World's largest 99¢ Only Store?
Largest one in our sphere of influence, anyway.

New Model Meter, which accepts credit cards.
Now the amorphous "they" will be able to tell where you've parked. Or where you are parked. Assuming your mobile hasn't already told them where you are.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Heh Heh

Running this mostly because the up-loader's name is amusingly juvenile. (Perhaps we should call it adolescent, what w/ it being "dirty" & all.)

Dep't. of Amplification

Why that fifty-yrs.-old-yesterday FF #1 was the November issue.
#2,  "January" 1962.

As American As Cherry Pie*

Murtaza Hussain, sitting in for Glenn Greenwald, points a finger & blames you sick American fucks:
When violence happens somewhere else, it is because the people of that place are inherently violent and barbaric and it is viewed as a reflection upon their society in general. Individuals believed to be representative of that society are demanded to reflect upon their societal failings and to offer penance for “their” actions. On the other hand when violence happens at home it is not reflective upon the broader society at all and it is always an aberration needing no further explanation, regardless of the shocking regularity with which it occurs. To say that the substantive difference stems from the fact that violence is somehow rare in America, a country which is undoubtedly one of the most stable and prosperous in the world, is to ignore the reality of what goes on in the U.S. on a regular basis. Since 9/11 there have been approximately 150,000 violent deaths in the United States, a figure which is all the more shocking for the fact that it is somehow considered normal in an ostensibly peaceful society.
Did that sink in? Americans have managed to kill 50 times more people than a collection of Saudi Arabians & a few others did in the 10 yrs. since September, 2001. Where's the mother-fucking OUTRAGE, concerned Americans?

Another good one from another substitute. Check the update for John Derbyshire's appalling load of crap. Can his residence permit or citizenship be revoked? On the basis of "moral character," perhaps?
*Cherry Pie

Popularity. Like Junior High. This is mostly because I'm curious. You should all be ashamed.