Monday, July 4, 2011

Real Obvious Losers

Patriotism Continues

Via.

Losers Comment On American Exceptionalism (In PARIS!!!)

NB: LOUDNESS WARNING!During America's Bicentennial Year yet. These people!

Print Dep't.

Another we-wouldn't-have-bothered-but item/link, the buts being that it's related & the photo attached
Mike/vistavision [Flickr]
is the newsstand where we purchased comic booksgraphic novels when we arrived in town in the '70s or whenever it was.

Now, nothing but memory:
This newsstand in the alley behind the Los Angeles Theatre was removed last year after closing.

This Date In Baseball: Going Way Back

The Fourth of July:
1881 At Riverside Grounds in Buffalo, Mickey Welch throws two complete game victories as the Troy Haymakers sweep a doubleheader from the Bisons in National Association action, 8-3 and 12-0.
1884 In American Association action, Guy Hecker of the Louisville Colonels pitches complete games to win both ends of a doubleheader. The Youngsville, Pennsylvania native does not walk a single batter as he beats the Brooklyn Trolley Dodgers, 5-4 and 8-2.
1900 Approximately one thousand people in the crowd of 10,000 fans attending the game at West Side grounds celebrate Independence Day by firing pistols into the air. Chicago beats Philadelphia in 12 innings, 5-4.
1905 With the A's scoring two runs in the 20th inning, Rube Waddell beats Cy Young and the Red Sox, 4-2 with each hurler pitching a complete game.
1908 With two outs and an 0-2 count in the ninth inning, Giant pitcher George 'Hooks' Wiltse loses his perfect game when he hits opposing pitcher, George McQuillan, with a pitch. Wiltse still keeps his no-hitter intact as the Giants win 1-0 in the tenth. [Who the fuck were the Giants playing? — M.B.]
1911 (One Hundred Yrs. Ago:) Armando Marsans and Rafael Almeida become the first Cuban natives to appear in a major league game as they both make their debut for the Reds. Appearing as pinch hitters in the eight inning, Almeida strikes out and Marsans singles in the 8-3 loss to the Cubs at Chicago’s West Side Grounds.
1912 Tiger pitcher George Mullins celebrates the nation's birthday and his own by throwing a no-hitter against the St. Louis Browns. In addition to his excellent pitching, the 32-year old also collected three hits and drove in two runs during the 7-0 victory.
1925 In a battle of southpaws at Yankee Stadium, Herb Pennock and Lefty Grove of the A's hook up in a 15 inning pitchers' duel which the Bronx Bombers win, 1-0. Penncock retires the first 18 batters and the last 21 batters he faces.
1932 Bill Dickey punches and breaks Carl Reynolds’s jaw after the Senator outfielder collides with him on a close play at home plate. The American League suspends the Yankee catcher for 30 days and fines him $1,000 for his one-punch fight.
1935 Due to his 'wandering' ball, Iola hurler Harold 'Lefty' Liell, a 5' 6 1/2", 155-pounder with pigeon-toed feet, is called up for a try out with the Kansas City Blues. The K.C. manager Dutch Zwilling is impressed with the youngster's performance, but advises the Greeley, Kansas lad to get more experience and suggests he play in the Ban Johnson League.
1938 The Phillies move into Shibe Park by splitting a twin bill with the Boston Bees (Braves) losing the first game, 10-5, and winning the nightcap, 10-2. Problems with Baker Bowl made it necessary for the Phils to share the Athletics' home field at 21st Street and Lehigh Avenue.
1939 It's Lou Gehrig Appreciation Day at Yankee Stadium and ‘the Iron Horse’s’ uniform number 4 will be the first ever to be retired. After emcee Sid Mercer informs the sell-out crowd the man of the hour is too moved to speak, Gehrig changes his mind when Skipper Joe McCarthy encourages him, and delivers the keynote address in baseball history describing himself as "the luckiest man on the face of this earth".

[Not Gary Cooper:++mawkish. It had not stuck in our empty consciousness that this famous farewell occurred on the Fourth. — M.B.] Also in 1939: In a slugfest at Shibe Park, Red Sox third baseman Jim Tabor hits two grand slams as well as a third home run in Boston's 18-12 victory over the A's. It's only the second time the feat as been accomplished, both coming in games against the Philadelphia Athletics. 1955 In Three-I League action, Keokuk Kernels’ hurler, Mudcat Grant, hits three home runs in consecutive innings. During his 14 year major league career with seven teams, the right-hander from Lacoochee, Florida will go yard six times. 1964 Kansas City's Manny Jimenez, who didn't homer in 1963, connects for three in a 6-6 tie with the Orioles. Game is stopped by a special Baltimore curfew to permit a fireworks show to take place. 1966 In his first game after being sidelined a week with a fractured cheekbone, Ron Santo sets a franchise record hitting in his 28th consecutive game. The streak will come to an end when the Cubs' third baseman is held hitless in the nightcap of the twin bill against Pittsburgh. 1969 At Kansas City’s Municipal Stadium, Bob Oliver becomes the first player in Royals history to hit a grand slam. The center fielder's eighth-inning blast comes off Jim Bouton of the Pilots in an eventual 13-2 KC victory. 1976 After hitting an apparent game-winning grand slam, Tim McCarver is only credited with a three-run single when he passes teammate Garry Maddox on the bases paths in the Phillies' 10-5 victory over the Pirates at Three Rivers Stadium. The other base runners are allow to score on the Philadelphia catcher's 'grand slam single' because only the player who passes his teammate is called out and there were less than two outs. [See comments. — M.B.] 1980 Reggie Smith belts the 7,000th home run in Dodgers' history and Don Sutton sets a team record with his 52nd career shutout in the Dodgers' 4-0 victory over the Giants. Nolan Ryan fans Ceasar Geronimo to record his 3000th career strike out. In 1974, the Reds' outfielder was also Bob Gibson's 3000th victim. 1982 Celebrating Independence Day at Mile High Stadium in Denver, 65,666 fans watch an American Association contest and enjoy a giant fireworks display after game. The gathering is the largest crowd in minor league history. 1985 In a 19 inning game, which goes until just before 4 a.m. the next day, the Mets beat the Braves, 16-13. After the 6 hours, 10 minutes game, the 1000 fans left in Atlanta Fulton County Stadium are treated to pre-dawn fireworks which awaken and frighten many of the ballpark’s neighbors. 1987 Giants and Padres complete a seven-player trade, including Kevin Mitchell who will be the 1989 MVP for the Giants and Mark Davis who will win the 1989 National League Cy Young Award for the Padres. 1998 The National Baseball Facility of Ireland, considered the main home of the Irish National baseball team, officially opens in Corkagh Demesne Park in Clondalkin, West Dublin when U.S. Ambassador Jean Kennedy throws out the ceremonial first pitch. Dodger owner Peter O'Malley played an instrumental role in the construction of the diamonds now known as the Fields of Dreams, which includes a regulation sized adult field and an international standard Little League field. 2001 The Brewers' new home, Miller Park, continues to be jinxed as a parachutist breaks his ankle when he misses the opening in the retractable roof and lands on a beam several hundred feet off the ground. Another member of the Sky Knights Sports Parachute Club missed the stadium completely. 2001 The fifty people stranded on the Ferris wheel ride at Comerica Park for two hours during the Royal-Tiger game are rescued by firefighters and emergency crews using a cherry picker and a fire truck ladder. The inconvenienced fans will receive tickets to another game, free dinner and team autographs from the Tigers. 2003 In a 10-3 victory over New York, the Red Sox score all their runs with the long ball hitting a record seven home runs off the Yankees. Prior to today's Independence Day fireworks, the Bronx Bombers had given up six homers in a game four times including twice to Boston (1997 and 1977) and the Indians (1970). 2004 The selection of Barry Bonds*, Ken Griffey Jr. and Sammy Sosa* as starters in the NL All-Stars line-up marks the first time in baseball history which three players with 500 career home runs have appeared on the same team. The trio will appear in the starting outfield in the 75th All-Star Game in Houston’s Minute Maid Park. 2006 Yankee owner George Steinbrenner's 76th birthday is less than festive, as the Indians provide all of the fireworks in 19-1 Independence Day rout over the Bronx Bombers. The victory is the Tribe's most lopsided victory at home since the 1950 team, scoring 14 first inning runs, beat the Philadelphia A's at Cleveland Stadium, 21-2. 2006 Nomar Garciaparra ties the major league record for being hit by a pitch in one game as he is plunked three times by three different Diamondback pitchers in a 10-4 Los Angeles victory. The Dodger first baseman is the first National Leaguer to equal the mark, both literally and figuratively, since the 2000 season when Astros outfielder Richard Hidalgo got thwacked thrice in a game in April. 2008 Rockies shortstop Troy Tulowitzki needs 16 stitches to close up a gash in his right palm caused by a maple bat when the he pounds it into the ground in frustration and it shatters. These types of bats are under scrunity of a major league investigation because of their tendency to shatter when the hard wood breaks instead of just cracking like the bats made from softer ash.

*: "*."

Losers Day

35 Yrs. Ago Today:

This was not on the hit parade.

Rocket's Red Glare

25 Yrs. Ago Today*

*We think. Definitely 1986; not absolutely certain this was a 4th of July BBQ.

Lonely Newsstand

Print.
It's dead.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

"Anybody Got Any Lynch?"

Slightly overheated, as we emphasize:
Each rhetorical bombardment against her was and is reminiscent of the Arab strategy to demonize Jews and Israel.

The attacks on Palin were and are blood libels.

The latest ghoulish assault — liberalism is socialism as lynch mob — on her was the mob frenzy to analyze some 24,000 Palin e-mails from her tenure as Alaska’s governor.
Why not just call it a pogrom?

Now to the defense of Michele Bachmannn, Honorary Jew & the Baby Bear of politics. She's just right.
Like Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann is beautiful and glamorous. Yet not so glamorous that she threatens other women. Nor is she so sexy that she intimidates men.

I’ve never seen her in a Hillary-style pants suit.

And she actually knows stuff.
What a woman.

Later: Also see Rumproast.

Close To The Heart Of The
Cultural Capital Of The Known Universe

This Date in Baseball History

3 July
1912 Giants' southpaw Rube Marquard wins his 19th consecutive game from the start of the season beating the Dodgers, 2-1. The 25-year old future Hall of Famer will complete the campaign with a 26-11 record.
1925 Dodgers' second baseman Milt Stock sets a National League mark by having his fourth consecutive four-hit game.
1932 With a Boston law restricting games within 1000 feet of a church on Sundays, the first Sunday game is played at Fenway Park with the Red Sox losing to the Yankees,13-2
1939 Cardinal first baseman Johnny Mize accumulates 13 total bases hitting two home runs, a triple and a double. The 'Big Cat's' offensive output contributes to the Redbirds' 5-3 win over the Cubs at Wrigley Field.
1945 At Braves Field in Boston‚ the Cubs tally the most runs in their post-1900 history when they blast the Braves, 24-2. Phil Cavarretta‚ Don Johnson‚ and Stan Hack each score five times tying a major league mark.
1947 The Indians purchase Larry Doby from the Newark Eagles. Two days later, the twenty-two year old will become the first black person to play in the American League.
1948 Dick Lane hits five homers in a Fort Wayne Central League game. The Muskegon slugger will finish the season with 12 round-trippers, and will never ht a home run in major league game
1949 En route to a 16-0 shut out of the Dodgers at the Polo Grounds, starting pitcher Monte Kennedy hits a grand slam. It will be 51 years before another Giants hurler (Shawn Estes - 2000) hits a bases full home run.
1966 In a 17-3 rout of the Giants, Tony Cloninger hits two grand slams and collects nine RBI's in the Candlestick Park contest. The Braves' pitcher is the first National league player to hit two home runs with the bases full in the same game.
1967 In Atlanta-Fulton Stadium‚ Billy Williams‚ Ron Santo‚ and Randy Hundley all homer for the Cubs in the first‚ and Rico Carty and Felipe Alou also go deep for the Braves in the same inning. The five round-trippers tie a major league record for home runs hit by two teams in the same inning, but it is the first time its been done in the opening frame.
1968 Luis Tiant strikes out nineteen Twins and scatters six hits in a ten-inning 1-0 complete-game victory against Minnesota at Cleveland Stadium. 'El Tiante' becomes the second hurler to whiff more than 18 batters in an American League contest, only Tom Cheney of the Senators recorded more with 21 punch outs in an 16-inning game in 1962.
1970 Angels southpaw Clyde Wright no-hits the visiting A's at Anaheim Stadium, 4-0. 'Skeeter' accomplishes the task in one hour and 51 minutes needing to throw only 98 pitches.
1973 For the only time in their careers, the Perry Brothers (Tiger Jim and Indian Gaylord) oppose one another. Gaylord takes the loss but neither finish the game.
1987 On 'Dick Howser Day' at Royals Stadium, the former manager, who died last month from brain cancer, is inducted into the team's Hall of Fame. The club also honor the late Miami, Florida native, manager of the team from 1981-86, by retiring his uniform number 10, the first digits to be withdrawn from future use in the history of the franchise. Paul Splittorff, the team's all-time leader in victories, is inducted into the Royals' Hall of Fame, along with Howser and infielder Cookie Rojas. The slender southpaw was the first player selected by the franchise to appear on its major league roster.
2001 The Padres tie a National League record hitting four sacrifice flies in one game. The last one, lifted by shortstop D'Angelo Jimenez in the sixth inning, gives the Friars a 6-5 victory over Colorado at San Diego's Qualcomm Stadium.
2002 In an 11-8 loss to the Yankees, Jim Thome homers in his seventh consecutive game. The solo shot, off southpaw David Wells, leaves the Indians' slugger one shy of the major league record shared by Dale Long (1956, Pirates), Don Mattingly (Yankees, 1987) and Ken Griffey, Jr. (1993, Mariners).
2005 During the fireworks display at Pawtucket’s McCoy Stadium, two shells misfire landing in the stands. Four or five employees of the Telstar Display Fireworks suffer minor burns, and some fans are injured when they stumble trying to escape from the mishap.
2006 Barry Bonds (41), Steve Finley (41), and birthday boy Moises Alou (40) become the first trio of 40-year-olds to start a game in the same outfield. The senior flycatchers combine to go 4-for-11 along with two stolen bases to help the Giants defeat Philadelphia, 5-3.
2010 With homers in his first two at-bats, Twins' DH Jim Thome passes franchise legend Harmon Killebrew with 574 round-trippers and moves into tenth place on the all-time home run list. The team plays a previously recorded message from the much beloved Hall of Famer in which he congratulates the designated hitter on the career accomplishment.

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Untitled (Balloons W/ Light Standards)

Dee Jay Double Play!

W/in A Dozen Blks. Of This Location

This just in:
A man and woman were critically wounded in a shooting in Hollywood on Saturday morning.

The victims were standing outside of a building in the 600 block of North Normandie Avenue, near the 101 Freeway, at about 4:05 a.m. when a man got out of a vehicle and shot them both, according to police. There was no full description available of the attacker or the vehicle.

The victims were transported to local hospitals.

This Date In Baseball

July 2
1903 - Washington outfielder Ed Delahanty went over a railroad bridge at Niagara Falls and drowned. The exact circumstances of his death never were determined.
1909 - The Chicago White Sox stole 12 bases, including home plate three times, in a 15-3 rout of the St. Louis Browns.
1930 - Chicago outfielder Carl Reynolds homered in the first, second and third innings, leading the White Sox to a 15-4 win over the New York Yankees. Reynolds, the second player in history to hit home runs in three consecutive innings, had two inside-the-park homers.
1933 - Carl Hubbell of the New York Giants beat the St. Louis Cardinals 1-0 in an 18-inning game. He allowed six hits and no walks. In the second game of the doubleheader, the Cardinals were blanked 1-0, with Roy Parmelee outdueling Dizzy Dean.
1941 - Joe DiMaggio of the New York Yankees hit a home run to extend his consecutive game hitting streak to 45 games, surpassing Willie Keeler's record of 44 straight games for the Orioles in 1897.
1963 - Juan Marichal of San Francisco beat Warren Spahn and the Milwaukee Braves 1-0 in 16 innings on Willie Mays' homer.
1995 - Hideo Nomo of the Los Angeles Dodgers became the first Japanese player picked for baseball's All-Star game. Nomo was the NL's leader in strikeouts and second in ERA.

Friday, July 1, 2011

Tee Vee Is King, Still

Seventy yrs. ago today, under the crushing regime of FDR's fascist Federal Communications Commission (Like Commissars! Or Cossacks!!) commercial television broadcasting was allowed.

Imagine a clever satirical tune about telebision posted here from YouTube. Anniv. details. Synopsis for lip-readers.
(More than coincidence? As we type, Vin Scully, doing the Dodger game on tee vee, mentions that one of the events of seventy yrs. ago was the telecast of the [Brooklyn] Dodger game.)
Back to regular programming:
Running movies by the second day.

The NYT of 1 July 1941:
Television transmission begins in New York today on three channels. WNBT, on Channel 1, will be operated by the National Broadcasting Company from about 1:20 to 10:30 p.m., except for an interval from about 5 to 8 p.m. WCBW, on Channel 2, operated by the Columbia System, will be on from 2:30 to 3:30 and 7:30 to 9:30. Station W2XWV of the DuMont Labratories, on Channel 4, will be on the air from about 12 noon to 6 p.m.

Throughout the nation at least twenty-two stations are scheduled to begin commercial operation today, in accordance with the ruling of the Federal Communications Commission.
For NBC & DuMont, quantity is quality.

While It's Still Canada Day

(We didn't want to type anything mean, but whatever one needs may be found so easily.)

Dep't Of Glug-Glug-Glug!

For many yrs. we had an item we'd clipped from the L.A. Times recounting the alcohol poisoning death of a 13- or 14-yr. old human male who had consumed a fifth of something followed by a fifth of something else, both (we'll assume) in a short time frame. No recollection of the teen-ager's BAC (if it was given) but we just discovered a state title-holder & possibly the national title-holder. Do bear in mind that these are drivers, not sensible people tippling at home. The real champ is probably yet to be found.
South Dakota authorities say a woman found passed out in a stolen vehicle may have set a state record with a blood alcohol content of .708, or almost nine times the legal limit.

[...]

The authorities say troopers found the woman, Marguerite Engle, 45, passed out beside a highway Dec. 1 in a van that had been reported stolen.

She missed her court appearance Dec. 15 but was found Monday sitting in another stolen vehicle in a ditch beside another highway near Fort Meade after another apparent round of drinks.
Should we be keeping women in their forties off the roads, at least in rural areas?
[T]hen-42-year-old Terri Comer [...] was arrested in 2007 in Klamath County in Oregon with a blood alcohol content of .720. Click here for more on that case. The documents show that Comer was found unconscious in her car by sheriff's deputies who said the vehicle was in a snow bank and still running. They had to break a car window to free her.
Context:
Meade County State's Attorney Jesse Sondreal says his research indicates that a level of .40 is considered lethal for about half the population, the Rapid City Journal reports.

Sondreal says the state's legal limit is .08 and that state chemists cannot recall registering a blood alcohol content above .56, WKOW-TV of Rapid City reports.

"I'm Fucking Your Wife"

Celebrating freedom of goddam speech this wknd.!

Suffered For Their Art

You know the rest ...

Three-Day Wknds.

Advised by the telly that it's Canada Day, the first day of the last six mos. of the yr., & the beginning of National Birthday Wknd. here in Northern North America.

Try not to hurt yourselves, & designate a driver or call a cab, ya hosers.

U.S. celebrants are advised not to blow their stupid hands off w/ explosives.

Added vampire fun: Sweet Blood of Jesus!!

This Date In Baseball

July 1
1910 - Comiskey Park - then known as White Sox Park - held its first major league game, with the St. Louis Browns beating Chicago 2-0.
1917 - Fred Toney of the Cincinnati Reds pitched complete-game victories in a doubleheader against the Pittsburgh Pirates. Toney threw a three-hitter in each game for 4-1 and 5-1 wins, setting a record for the fewest hits allowed in a doubleheader by a pitcher.
1920 - Walter Johnson of the Washington Senators defeated the Boston Red Sox 1-0 at Fenway Park with the season's only no-hitter.
1925 - Hack Wilson of the New York Giants hit two home runs in the third inning of a 16-7 victory over the Philadelphia Phillies in the second game of a doubleheader. Wilson also doubled twice during the game.
1941 - Joe DiMaggio of the New York Yankees singled off Boston's Jack Wilson in the fourth inning, tying Willie Keeler's hitting streak of 44 games.
1951 - Bob Feller of the Indians pitched his third career no-hitter, beating the Detroit Tigers 2-1 in the first game of a doubleheader at Cleveland.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Potato Skins

From our left elbow.
The lower right one is about an inch long, if you give a damn.

Closet Case

Give it a listen.Very interesting that all of the Bachmann's 23 foster children were teen-aged girls. Almost as if Marcus couldn't be trusted around teen-age (Or younger, who knows?) boys, huh?

Well, we have several months in which Dr. Bachmann's proclivities can still surface. He must feel like he's on a tightrope.

How often does Michele have to beatdiscipline the homo out of him?

Good Day For A No-Hitter

June 30
1908 - At 41 years, 3 months, Cy Young of the Boston Red Sox pitched the third no-hitter of his career, an 8-0 win over the New York Highlanders.
1948 - Cleveland's Bob Lemon pitched a 2-0 no-hitter against the Detroit Tigers for the first American League no-hitter at night.
1962 - Sandy Koufax of the Los Angeles Dodgers struck out 13 New York Mets en route to the first of four career no-hitters, a 5-0 victory at Dodger Stadium.
1970 - Riverfront Stadium in Cincinnati was dedicated, but Henry Aaron spoiled the show for the crowd of 51,050 with a first-inning homer off Jim McGlothlin as Atlanta beat the Reds 8-2.
1978 - Willie McCovey became the 12th player in major league history to hit 500 home runs. His milestone shot off Atlanta's Jamie Easterly wasn't enough, as the Braves beat the San Francisco Giants 10-5 in the second game of a doubleheader at Fulton County Stadium.
1995 - Eddie Murray of the Cleveland Indians became the second switch-hitter and the 20th player in baseball history to reach 3,000 hits when he singled against the Minnesota Twins. Murray joined Pete Rose, the career hits leader with 4,256, as the only switch-hitters to get 3,000.
1997 - Bobby Witt of Texas hit the first home run by an American League pitcher in a regular-season game in almost 25 years, connecting off Ismael Valdes in the Rangers' 3-2 interleague victory over Los Angeles.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

The Giant Econ Elf Speaks

She never manages to bring the totally outrageous on the telly.

Well, she's done "this," of course. On grandfather's farm. Must have been awful.

Think Entropy II

SO COMPLETELY FUCKED:
The United States faces daunting economic challenges. Not only are 14 million people currently unemployed, but according to recent estimates from the International Monetary Fund, we’re likely to see economic growth below 3 percent through 2016.

At a panel at the Clinton Global Initiative jobs summit on Wednesday, Laura Tyson, the former chair of President Clinton’s Council of Economic Advisers put it even more bleakly, saying that the United States might not see employment return to pre-recession levels until 2023.

Economists, of course, always tend to be gloomy; it’s part of their charm (see Roubini, Nouriel ). But Tyson’s point is a good one and illustrates just how dire our current situation is. Yet as she astutely points out, it’s not merely because of the recession.

Indeed, the eight years preceding it were far from boom times. “Job growth in the 2000s was half of what it had been in the previous two decades,” she said.

In his cover story for Newsweek, President Clinton echoed this point: “In the seven years and eight months that preceded the meltdown, our economy produced a meager 4 million new jobs, far too few to cope with millions coming into the workforce.”

Worse still, most of the jobs were related to housing, finance, and consumer spending—all of which were crushed by the downturn.
Not that a lot of this crap didn't start under Clinton's admin.

Think Entropy

FUCKED:
We’re not retailing and we’re not wholesaling. We’re not making things and we’re not shipping things. This isn’t a “fundamental change” away from doing one kind of thing to doing another kind of thing. It’s a fundamental change away from producing goods and services to mass unemployment and reduced living standards.
Whaddya mean "we," paleface?

SO FUCKED:

Essentially, the icecaps melt, the oceans rise & everywhere floods, after which the oceans dry up & blow away. Après nous, le déluge!

Violence Not Obscenity

Not a lawyer or anything (It crossed our mind once, but we took the paper into the men's room for a while & it went away.) but the few excerpts (extracted by those much braver than ourself) that we've seen from the SCOTUS California v. video games decision have provided entire minutes of amusement for us.

So a bit more, dug out from Scalia & Alito by Robert Scheer, w/ another sad conclusion:
Scalia’s withering dismissal of Alito’s concerns is revealing of his tolerance for violent imagery as opposed to that which is merely sexual: “Justice Alito has done considerable independent research to identify video games in which ‘the violence is astounding. … Victims are dismembered, decapitated, disemboweled, set on fire, and chopped into little pieces. … Blood gushes, splatters, and pools.’ Justice Alito recounts all these disgusting video games in order to disgust us—but disgust is not a valid basis for restricting expression. … Thus, ironically, Justice Alito’s argument highlights the precise danger posed by the California Act: that the ideas expressed by speech—whether it be violence, or gore, or racism—and not its objective effects, may be the real reason for governmental proscription.”

Hear, hear to such a bold defense of the right of minors to consider a full range of controversial thought, but if the claimed harmful effects of minors’ exposure to violence, gore and racism do not warrant a governmental limitation on free speech, why isn’t sexually prurient material—for adults if not minors—deserving of equal First Amendment protection? The unspoken answer that runs through Scalia’s opinion, and that of the court down though the ages, is that violence is normal while sex is obscene.
Nine old men, as Roosevelt said.

My List For You Checks Off As Null

John Dean's checked his list on Justice Thomas. Twice. He starts by raking the Justice over the coals, then describes recent Justice-removal.
There is a way, nonetheless. As a young official in Nixon’s Department of Justice—and, I must admit, with some amazement—I watched a Republican Justice Department and a conservative attorney general go after a liberal Supreme Court justice with remarkable success. Robert Shogan, a former Los Angeles Times and Newsweek reporter, recounted much of the story in “A Question of Judgment: The Fortas Case and the Struggle for the Supreme Court.” I filled in a few missing pieces when I wrote “The Rehnquist Choice.” Rehnquist in those days was the head of the Office of Legal Counsel and prepared a detailed memorandum for Attorney General John Mitchell explaining how to undertake an action that had never before been done, namely for the Justice Department to start a criminal investigation of a sitting justice, not based on hard information but rather based mainly on speculation of a worst-case scenario, i.e., assuming gifts and favors were bribes.
And ends w/ a sadly realistic acknowledgement of the situation.
In short, nothing is going to happen to Clarence Thomas. No one is going to truly challenge his conduct, and he will sit on the Supreme Court until he feels like leaving.
Related, & allows us to leave on a more cheerful note.

It's Still War!

Why BigHollywood, et al., keep up the kulturkampf:
The 21st century is really the moment when everything changes, but Torchwood and other shows aren’t actually doing anything to get us ready or to help us think through those changes ...
No no no. Telebision is to allow us to escape the splatter from the fan (Or, maybe, be art, or aesthetic. Nah. NBL, as they say.) for a few moments. No lessons to be learned, beyond never going broke underestimating the American masses.

Ticking Away

Original title.

This Date In Baseball

June 29
1916 - The Chicago Cubs and Cincinnati Reds played a nine-inning game with just one baseball.
1923 - Brooklyn's Jacques Fournier went 6-for-6 with a home run, two doubles and three singles as the Dodgers beat the Philadelphia Phillies 14-5.
1937 - Chicago Cubs first baseman Rip Collins played an entire game without a putout or an assist.
1941 - In a doubleheader against the Washington Senators, New York's Joe DiMaggio tied and then broke the American League record of hitting safely in 41 consecutive games. DiMaggio doubled in four at-bats in the opener and singled in five at-bats in the nightcap to break the record set by George Sisler of the St. Louis Browns in 1922.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Our Public Servants

Another Politician Caught Sending Underwear Photos

The New Orleans Times-Picayune reports that local city councilman Joe Stagni (R) admitted "that he sent a picture of himself in his underwear to a city employee 18 months ago and that the image ended up on a city computer server."

Said Stagni: "I asked for God's mercy and forgiveness. I apologized to my wife and family and asked for their forgiveness as well. My actions and bad judgment had nothing to do with my duties and responsibilities as a public official. They were private acts, but I take full responsibility for my irresponsible behavior. "

Niche Nostalgia

Spotting trends in looking backwards: Not the dreary, monochromatic Fifties, nor the post-Kennedy/Beatles/Vietnam/Civil Rights flailing about of The Sixties, but that sliver of history between the two (We could call it "Camelot!") when the world was headed to the stars, or certainly color tee vee for all, is now passing for a trend.

AMC started the ball rolling back to never-was land w/ Mad Men in 2007, now the drones of network telebision have jumped right in w/ two historical dramas that will debut this September, Coffee Tea or Me?Pan Am on the alphabet net, & already controversial The Playboy Club, so unspeakably naughty that the LDS-owned NBC affiliate in Salt Lake City has decided not to show it. (Of course, KSL doesn't run Saturday Night Live either, which, speaking of nostalgia, is apparently still on the air in other parts of the nation.)

Conclusion? None, 'though 1960-63 is one small lode to exploit.

And finishing the telly report, we see that ABC actually has a show about a current war (a mere ten yrs. after the adventure began) on the air ('though just as a summer replacement) startling for an industry whose closest connection to America's wars was a service comedy set in a hospital during the Korean Police Action (M★A★S★H) which aired after the war it was supposed to be about, & China Beach, actually about Vietnam, but not aired until some yrs. after a certain country got its ass handed to it & left 'Nam. The title of ABC's Afghan offering? Combat Hospital.

Interesting (if not telling) that Hollywood prefers to view suffering & murder imposed by Americans from the perspective of dashing doctors & noble nurses, rather than that of the sordid thugs who enforce the will of the oil-igarchy on the other side of the world.

Where We Stopped Reading

First sentence, this time.
When Sarah Palin steps foot in Iowa later today, she’s going to place her toes directly into Iowa’s presidential waters.
We'll "step foot" on your typing fingers, Craig Robinson. And drown you in the presidential waters.

Ari Fleischer Blow Job Up-Date/Follow-Up

Icky, yes, but it's the responsible thing to continue coverage of this very important story.

Kiss and Tell Republicans

Lisa Baron, author of Life of the Party: A Political Press Tart Bares All, is apparently willing to do anything to promote her book including recording a podcast about a sexual encounter with former Bush White House press secretary Ari Fleischer.

"Ari and I started kissing and I felt giddy, giddy about the primary race, and high on the inappropriateness of the moment. I was not keen on getting that room a-rocking, as I did not want Ralph or his wife to come a-knocking... Since audible sex was out of the question, I immediately headed south and took care of business."
After all, civic responsibilty is why we're here in the first place.

Presidential Hair Report

Now that it's been confirmed that Erick Erickson is a hoor,
we're not sure what, if anything, this means, 'cause E.E. may well have rec'd. the big bucks to pimp Perry (Imagine! Erick Erickson & RedState are not worthy of trust.) but for those not fortunate enough to get this crap e-mailed to them, we share so you, too, can wonder if Gov. Perry is the great White male hope.
Still going w/ the "Dry Look," we see.

Bears Repeating

Don't make us come out there & reiterate!
(Bores repeating?) From this think-piece on Glenn Beck as he leaves basic-cable:
After the economic collapse and the elections of 2008, the panic on the right was completely understandable. Bush made it clear that everything conservatives had fervently believed was false: tax cuts and deregulation don’t create jobs, American armies can’t remake the Middle East, capitalism is really socialism for the very rich, and the party of fiscal conservatism is in fact more profligate than generations of Democrats.

Taken together, this succession of ideological impossibilities hit the Republican base like the two bullets in Jason Bourne’s back. (Unfortunately, the rank and file do not have a laser signal for a numbered Swiss bank account buried in their hips—only their leadership gets that.) They underwent a severe psychological break, and when they came to they were no longer Republicans at all: They were Tea Partyers.
Needed perspective, even.

Roots Of Low Key Comedy

Yes, we stole it. But we found this one:

This Date In Baseball

June 28
1907 - Twelve Washington baserunners stole against catcher Branch Rickey as the Senators defeated the New York Yankees 16-5.
1910 - Joe Tinker of the Chicago Cubs became the first major leaguer to steal home twice in the same game, an 11-1 win over Cincinnati.
1919 - Carl Mays of Boston pitched two complete games against the New York Yankees. The Red Sox won the first game 2-0 and lost the nightcap 4-1.
1949 - Joe DiMaggio played his first series of the year after a bone spur operation and hit .455, with four home runs and nine RBIs, as the New York Yankees swept Boston at Fenway Park.
1970 - Pittsburgh swept the Chicago Cubs 3-2 and 4-1 in the Pirates' final games at Forbes Field.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Good News For The Cloven-Hoofed

A second disease wiped from the planet by gov't. & UN do-gooders & nanny-statists.
FIELD OF DEATH Cattle carcasses littered a pasture in South Africa in 1900 during a rinderpest epidemic.
But rinderpest is hardly irrelevant to humans. It has been blamed for speeding the fall of the Roman Empire, aiding the conquests of Genghis Khan and hindering those of Charlemagne, opening the way for the French and Russian Revolutions, and subjugating East Africa to colonization.

Any society dependent on cattle — or relatives like African zebu, Asian water buffaloes or Himalayan yaks — was vulnerable.

As meat and milk, cattle were and are both food and income to peasant farmers, as well as the source of calves to sell and manure for fields. Until recently, they were the tractors that dragged plows and the trucks that hauled crops to market. When herds die, their owners starve.

The long but little-known campaign to conquer rinderpest is a tribute to the skill and bravery of “big animal” veterinarians, who fought the disease in remote and sometimes war-torn areas — across arid stretches of Africa bigger than Europe, in the Arabian desert and on the Mongolian steppes.
It goes on & on.

Next eradication: Cooties?

Reuse, Recycle

This will keep an aircraft whose first flight happened in 1968 flying until 2040. DefenseTech.org

Today's Clarence Thomas

We weren't going to bother (Surprise!) but the juxtaposition of the cartoon & article finally motivated us. What a maroon.
Randall Enos, Cagle Cartoons
And then, like a nostalgic colonial version of Michael Chabon, Thomas launches into what is surely one of the oddest, most discursive examinations of the Joys of Puritanical Parenting. He scoots across the centuries, from the late 1600s in "the New England Colonies, [where] fathers ruled families with absolute authority," to late 18th-century Monticello, where Thomas Jefferson told his daughters how to dress. "The Puritans rejected many customs, such as godparenthood, that they considered inconsistent with the patriarchal structure," Thomas notes. He observes that colonial parents were warned not to "let their children read 'vain Books, profane Ballads, and filthy Songs' or 'fond and amorous Romances, … fabulous Histories of Giants, the bombast Achievements of Knight Errantry, and the like.' " He notes, further, that in colonial Massachusetts, "a 'son' of 16 years or more committed a capital offense if he disobeyed 'the voice of his Father, or the voice of his Mother.' " With a nod to Locke and Rousseau and changing views of parenting, Thomas observes that John Adams, Noah Webster, Gouvernor Morris, Sir William Blackstone, and others were adamant that the pliability of the youthful mind required vigilance in the upbringing of one's children, and that this imperative was impressed upon the Founders. He notes, I suppose with approval, Thomas Jefferson's bossy and controlling letters to his daughters. He describes early school textbooks containing "vignettes illustrating the consequences of disobedience," including one called "Pictures of the Vicious ultimately overcome by misery and shame," and a treatise from 1848 warning that the "number of children who die from the effects of disobedience to their parents is very large."
What a maroon. (Oh, did we type that already? It bears repeating. Maroon.)

A Pig Is A Pig Is A Pig

Why the hell would it be any different in Afghanistan?
According to a new report to be released tomorrow from Refugees International (RI), the Afghan Local Police (ALP) units are “a major threat to civilians and stability” because they are “poorly vetted, ill-trained and unsupervised.” “These armed groups,” the report says, “have allegedly committed abuses including murder, theft, extortion, bribery and intimidation.”
Repetitious insanity.

This Date In Baseball

June 27
1917 - Catcher Hank Gowdy of the Braves became the first major league player to enter military service in World War I.
1939 - The Brooklyn Dodgers and the Boston Braves played a 23-inning, 2-2 tie. Whit Wyatt pitched the first 16 innings for the Dodgers. Both clubs played a 26-inning tie in 1920 at the same Braves Field.
1958 - Billy Pierce of the Chicago White Sox retired 26 straight Washington batters before pinch-hitter Ed Fitzgerald hit a double just inside the right-field line for the only hit. Pierce then struck out Albie Pearson on three pitches and beat the Senators 3-0.
1973 - David Clyde, a $125,000, 18-year-old bonus baby with the Rangers, pitched five innings, struck out eight and allowed one hit in his first major league start. Texas beat the Minnesota Twins 4-3 before 35,698 fans - the Rangers' first home sellout at Arlington Stadium.
1980 - The Los Angeles Dodgers' Jerry Reuss pitched a no-hitter against the San Francisco Giants in an 8-0 victory at Candlestick Park. The only player to reach base was Jack Clark in the first inning on a throwing error by shortstop Bill Russell.
1986 - San Francisco rookie Robby Thompson set a major league record when he was caught stealing four times in the Giants' 7-6, 12-inning victory over the Cincinnati Reds. Catcher Bo Diaz threw out Thompson in the fourth, sixth, ninth and 11th innings.
1993 - Anthony Young of the New York Mets set a major league record by losing his 24th straight decision, 5-3 to the St. Louis Cardinals.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

B-1 Bob Explains Newtie For You

Dornan bellows.
You may remember Bob Dornan. Hard-right GOP congressman. Ur-Tea Partier. C-SPAN bellower who, in his Virginia retirement, bellows mostly into my voicemail. Bob has a bone to pick with Newt.

[...]

“Then Newt started talking about Alvin Toffler,” Bob says. “I went, Wait a minute, I guested Toffler on Tempo, my TV show, and The Robert K. Dornan Show in the '70s. This guy is a weirdo!”

For all his idea-mongering, Newt wasn’t a hard worker, Bob maintains. Years later, when Bob offered to take him along on foreign trips, Newt would suggest Bob go and report back to him instead. (Bob declined and broadcast his findings on the House floor.) Bob says Newt’s relationships with the future Marianne and Callista Gingrich were open secrets in the GOP caucus. “At the end of the two years,” Bob recalls, “one of the pages, he said, ‘Do you know what we call Mr. Gingrich behind the scenes?’”

“I said, ‘What?’”

“‘We call him a dork, a geek, and a skank’—a word I’d never heard.”
Innocence lost. Awww ... Whatever. Bob has more. (Our excerpt may not even be the best. Haven't read it all, 'cause why bother, we know Newtie's all nobody now.)

This was worth reading:
Bob has a plan. If Newt stays in the race, Bob wants to fly to the next GOP debate and deliver his anti-Newt tirade to Newt himself. He almost did it a few weeks ago—he even had the plane tickets. Bob wants to rise from the audience to ask a question, or confront Newt in the Spin Room after. “If he shows up at another debate,” Bob says, “I’m pretty much gonna promise you, Bryan, I’m gonna be there.”

He wants Newt to know he’s coming. “If you even put in a slight mention [of me showing up], it’ll come up on his media search. … He’ll know that I’m on the path. And I’m gonna drive him out of this race.”

“I want him out of politics! I will wear that sandwich board!”
Bombs away, Bob!

Herman Cain Explains It All For You

Cain, the one-time Neal Boortz protegé, has a "Business Plan" for America. No, wait, this just in ... He has three principles for America, economic guiding principles (EGPs) specifically, rather than a plan, or any policies or, you know, stuff. Dare we look?
EGP #1: Production must precede consumption

You can’t spend your way to prosperity. The Obama administration has shown this. Most families knew that it would not work because it does not work for a household. My dad had to produce enough cash for a down payment to buy his first home before he could get the keys to the new house. He had to work three jobs at times to produce enough cash, but he did it!

Production is the engine of any economic train, and consumption is the caboose. Before someone consumes, he must produce. The nearly $1 trillion in stimulus spending went into the caboose. It did not help fuel the real engine of the economy.

The engine of our economy is the business sector. It has received only disdain and lectures from the Obama administration, instead of fuel in the form of lower taxes, fewer barriers and more certainty about less government. (Specifics will follow in next week’s commentary.)
How Cain can present himself as a leader yet whine like a sissy about "disdain & lectures" (And "more certainty about less government." Agghh.) & get away therewith is another Republican mystery for the ages. He could demonstrate leadership by getting his cronies w/ the US$960+ billion in profits they're sitting on but not using (Shouldn't the banks be lending that, even if companies aren't willing to invest in their businesses?) but maybe their understanding of the actualities of supply & demand is why they're still in business while Cain has retired to his radio-show hobby, & now this leisure activity of bullshitting on the national stage. Or they might laugh their high-finance heads off at that pizza guy. Either way, we hope he enjoys his 15 mins.

In an economy where there are said to be five job-seeking Americans for every open position, how are any of us to get those three jobs that the elder Mr. Cain held down so he could buy his house? A house that probably wasn't overpriced by a mortgage-speculation bubble that was about to blow up in his face, either.

Did Mr. Cain run Godfather's Pizza on his bullshit "produce first" model? Was job one to be sure there was plenty of pizza drying out on the racks before the store opened? Really?

And again w/ analogizing government, business & family finances. Not the same things at all.

Nor is the engine/caboose bit, w/ the train that's eating its own tail, we think he meant. Apples & oranges, really. Because that caboose is looking more & more like a free-riding moocher. What does it produce, anyway?
Concluding note

Prosperity is the natural state of our free-market economy if we get government out of the way, off our backs and out of our pockets. Prosperity begins with production. It requires risk-taking and a stable measure of exchange.

Good economic policy is guided by good principles, not politics.

It’s common sense.
Empty fucking suit. Once "common sense" has been invoked it's over before it began.

This just in: Irony is not yet dead.

Apple, Google, Microsoft Sitting on 58 Billion in Overseas Profits, Blackmailing Us to Avoid Taxes

How does it feel to have the jobs gun pointed at your head? Because that’s what this is: a stickup.
In passing, what have those three entities done that's been of any use ever? Whatever they get their hands on they make worse, even as they copy down everything about us. Tax 'em to death, w/ the churches.

Big One Remains Overdue

Vehicles stranded on I-5 after the 1994 event.
Brant Ward/©San Francisco Chronicle.
Now we may know why.
The seismically-active southern end of the San Andreas Fault Zone lies under the Salton Sea, a wide depression whose bottom is about 250 feet below sea level. The area was regularly flooded by the Colorado River over the relatively-recent millenia, a practice that ended 100 years ago when levees were built to force the Colorado to flow into the Sea of Cortez just south of Yuma, Arizona.

Between that diversion, the construction of upstream dams near Las Vegas and regional droughts, the Colorado has not flooded into the Imperial Valley and Salton Sink, a dry lake bed that was converted to the Salton Sea in gigantic floods in 1906. The Colorado last flooded and reached the Sea of Cortez in 1982, but it now trickles into the sand about where the San Andreas fault crosses the International Boundary 200 miles southeast of Los Angeles.

[...]

The new Scripps study shows that several heretofore unknown fingers of the San Andreas system sit beneath the Salton Sea, and the sand and dirt of the Imperial Valley. The faults let loose with magnitude 7.0 quakes or larger every 180 years until the early 20th century -- the same time that the Colorado floods that had brought billions of pounds of water to the area were stanched.

"It's possible that the ending of the diversion re-set the earthquake clock; we're more than 100 years overdue for a quake that could be as big as 7.5,'' said Neal Driscoll, quoted by signonsandiego.com .

"The fault could send tremendous energy towards the Los Angeles area if it broke from south to north, and could cause shaking that would make soil liquefy in bays and estuaries in San Diego County,'' Driscoll told the U-T's web site.
So. Minus the billions of lbs. of water, tectonic tension has been lower, & events less frequent. Eventually, something will give; when it does & if it breaks south to north
[a] massive 7.5 or larger quake may be the result when the southern San Andreas Fault finally jolts back to life, causing waves of enormous destruction in the Inland Empire and Los Angeles basin, a Scripps Institution of Oceanography study published Sunday said.
Even worse, there are other dangers associated w/ Salton Sea earthquakes.

Serious As Cancer: M.B. 2012!

So, what, 16 mos.? Seven or so until something actually quantifiable happens?
Asked at the end of the show by Fox interviewer Chris Wallace whether she was a "flake" because of a "history of questionable statements" and "gaffes" she had made, Bachmann was clearly irritated.
Election Night, 2010.
"I think that would be insulting, to say something like that," she said, "because I'm a serious person."

This Date In Baseball

June 26
1916 - In a game against the Chicago White Sox, the Cleveland Indians appeared on the field with numbers on their sleeves. It marked the first time players were identified by numbers corresponding to the scorecard.
1938 - Lonny Frey of the Cincinnati Reds had eight hits in a doubleheader split with the Philadelphia Phillies. Frey had three hits in a 10-3 opening-game loss and collected five in the nightcap, which the Reds won 8-5.
1944 - In an effort to raise funds for war bonds, the New York Giants, Brooklyn Dodgers and New York Yankees played against each other in a six-inning contest at the Polo Grounds. More than 50,000 fans turned out. Each team played successive innings against the other two teams then would sit out an inning. The final score was Dodgers 5, Yankees 1, Giants 0.
1962 - Earl Wilson of the Boston Red Sox pitched a 2-0 no-hitter against the Los Angeles Angels at Fenway Park. Wilson also homered in the game.
1970 - Frank Robinson hit two grand slams for the Orioles as Baltimore defeated the Washington Senators 12-2.
1976 - Shortstop Toby Harrah played an entire doubleheader for the Texas Rangers without handling a batted ball from the Chicago White Sox.
2000 - Minor league sensation Alex Cabrera hit a two-run homer in his first major league at-bat for Arizona as the Diamondbacks beat the Houston Astros 6-1.
2006 - Oregon State beats North Carolina 3-2 for its first College World Series title.
2008 - Matt Garza struck out 10 in a one-hitter, leading Tampa Bay to a 6-1 victory over the Florida Marlins.
2009 - Andre Ethier had his first three-homer game and drove in a career-high six runs to lead the Los Angeles Dodgers to an 8-2 victory over the Seattle Mariners.
Today's birthdays: Lou Marson 25; Derek Jeter 37; Jason Kendall 37
Compiled By PAUL MONTELLA

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Believing Their Own Press

TMZ "exclusive." (Note that we are only 11-ish hrs. behind.)

LAPD -- We're Proud 'Columbo'
Was One of Us

The Los Angeles Police Department feels like they lost one of their own in Peter Falk ... even though he only played a cop on TV.

A rep for the LAPD tells TMZ they are "proud" to be associated with Falk's infamous [sic] character, Lt. Columbo, who was an LAPD homicide detective.

The rep tells TMZ, "The Department extends heartfelt condolences to Mr. Falk's family in this most difficult time. He was truly one of the all-time great TV cops. There will never be another one like him."

It's A Free Republic

Straight outta Bakersfield.
To: Steelfish
Memo to NY: since you’ve decided to officially become a degenerate fag state, don’t expect any help or sympathy from me the next time you have a 9/11. Burn in hell, New York.
4 posted on Fri Jun 24 2011 19:50:04 GMT-0700 (Pacific Daylight Time) by greene66

Borders Attacked

We were right here all last night. Really.
According to the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives, "The two small, crude devices partially functioned and caused no damage to the Colorado Mills Mall and minimal damage to a small area inside the Borders Bookstore."

9Wants to Know says two FBI sources also confirm that the devices went off. The FBI says police responded to a store alarm going off and found someone had broken into the Borders store. Officers found two suspicious devices at the scene and called the Jefferson County Bomb Squad.

"I think it's pretty clear [the devices] were intentionally set," Dave Joly, a spokesman with the FBI, said. Joly would not elaborate on the type of devices found.
"I was right here, I tell you — Hey!! Leggo a me! You can't do this!!!"

Famous Literary Smart Guys

Still 'phoning it in, you betcha. There is not enough coffee in the world ...
Mark Twain on Jane Austen (1898)

“I haven’t any right to criticize books, and I don’t do it except when I hate them. I often want to criticize Jane Austen, but her books madden me so that I can’t conceal my frenzy from the reader; and therefore I have to stop every time I begin. Every time I read ‘Pride and Prejudice,’ I want to dig her up and hit her over the skull with her own shin-bone.”
From the readers, slightly more contemporary.

(Need to at least start coffee before going through all 20 for a selection. Just wait right there.)
H.L. Mencken on Gertrude Stein

“It is the great achievement of Miss Stein that she has made English easier to write and harder to read.” – Suggested by Jess
Same thing we try to do here.

Blow-Drying The Helmet

Also: teasing the bump.
The Bump.
The truth is that looking good enough for public appearances, let alone high-def TV, takes a lot of time, whether you’re married to a prince, aiming to be first lady, or husband of the secretary of state.

The Globe asked several local hairdressers for a professional assessment. How much time would Callista Gingrich need in the morning before she could comfortably hit the campaign trail? Almost to a stylist, they said the “helmet’’ look doesn’t come quickly.

“It takes at least 45 minutes to an hour to do that kind of blow-dry,’’ said Clifford Bouvier, artistic director of Crew International, in Brookline. “She’s really bleached out, and to smooth out over-processed hair you have to do a lot of work. You have to use products that put moisture back in the hair.’’

Helena Cohen, owner of Ardan Medspa + Salon, in Wellesley, said that Gingrich’s hair appears to be teased, and that would add time to the morning routine. “She does that bump on the top that gives it height.’’ Time taken away from kissing babies: about 15 minutes.

Celebrity hair guru Sandy Poirier, at Shag, in South Boston, said Gingrich’s hair might take as long as 90 minutes, although he couldn’t be sure. He contrasted her high-maintenance hairstyle with that of a far better-known public figure: “Look at the Queen of England,’’ Poirier said. “She puts on that hat and she’s out the door.’’
Previously on Callista.
More misery: Contemplate the many horrors of the words "Celebrity hair guru Sandy Poirier, at Shag, in South Boston."