Now That It's Safe To Mock

(No gloating though. We desperately wanted those fuckers to disappear from the face of the earth.)Tl;dw:Huh? Does it have the Oedipal parts?Oh, wait, it's the soundtrack 45.

Not inspired by this, which we just read:

By late afternoon, a small crowd had gathered in front of Camping's Oakland headquarters. There were atheists blowing up balloons in human form, which were released into the sky just after 6 p.m. in a mockery of the rapture. Someone played a CD of "The End" by the Doors, amid much laughter.

There were also Christians, like James Bynum, a 45-year-old deacon at Calvary Baptist Church in Milpitas, holding signs that declared Harold Camping a false prophet. He said he was there to comfort disillusioned believers.

"Harold Camping will never hand out poisoned Kool-Aid," Bynum said. "It's not that kind of a cult. But he has set up a system that will destroy some people's lives."

Humanoid balloons, funny. A guy there to prey on the vicitims in their moment of need & doubt, typical.

Saturday Night Boogie 'Til You Puke Double Play!

The deal is, we were going to use the Eric Clapton show bidnis version down there to note that Phil Collins is not completely evil (although the soft, limp & banal dullness he exudes is hardly a force for good) or at least does a tolerable Ginger Baker impression, but this was in the suggestions sidebar, & it only seemed fair, even if a two-fer does violate the laws of naturedisc jockeying.

Why Reactionaries Are Humorless

The ultimate takeaway of McGraw’s paper was that the evolutionary purpose of laughter and amusement is to “signal to the world that a violation is indeed OK.” Building on the work of behavioral neurologist V. S. Ramachandran, McGraw believes that laughter developed as an instinctual way to signal that a threat is actually a false alarm—say, that a rustle in the bushes is the wind, not a saber-toothed tiger. “Organisms that could separate benign violations from real threats benefited greatly,” McGraw says.

Photo: Andrew Hetherington

Matches well w/ recent findings that a larger "fear center" leads to (over) reaction & fear, leaving chicken-shit conservatives too scared to laugh & unable to perceive actual threat levels.

Why we steal: We pulled just what The Daily Beast Dish pulled, but whichever flunky pulled it may not have been allowed to come to the obvious conclusion. That's funny.

Pop Culture Beat

pattonoswalt Patton Oswalt by MJMcKean
This is why The Rapture won't happen. yfrog.com/h0bwdjej

Evolution Of A Movement

From REDSTATE.com Advocacy:

This week we are taking a major step forward in the evolution of the Tea Party movement.

Combining the efforts of our Washington Liaison, Donna Keene, with an incredible new petition tool, TheTeaParty.net is preparing to work with conservative leaders in Washington to start taking action on specific pieces of legislation, including stopping the implementation of Obamacare, the debt ceiling, and more!

[...]

Projects like these are critical to the future of the Tea Party movement, but to fully fund these efforts we need your continued financial support. Our critics in the left and in the liberal media continue to push the narrative that the Tea Party is no longer a factor. They are trying to destroy our movement by making people think that we are irrelevant. We cannot let that happen! Projects that allow us to petition congress and access Conservative leadership will force even the most liberal political commentators to admit that the Tea Party is still a GROWING political powerhouse. Please click HERE to help us keep the momentum!

The Dream Is Over

Meanwhile, in South Carolina:

Columbia Tea Party chairman Allen Olson expected as many as 2,000 would have attended Thursday’s rally had Trump been there. But The Donald, a favorite of many who attended the group’s Tax Day rally with U.S. Rep. Michele Bachmann, R-Minn., elected to not run and dropped the rally from his schedule.

About 30 ignorant crackers showed up. Keep evolving!

EXTRA, EXTRA (1555PDT):

Last month, things went much better!

Only 300 people (including a horde of Palmetto political operatives) attended the event in downtown Columbia, S.C. – which is a generous estimate in our book. That attendance figure – confirmed by other media outlets – amounts to less than one-tenth the size of multiple crowds that have gathered at the S.C. State House in recent years in support of parental choice.

It’s also roughly a tenth the size of the crowd that attended this same event in 2009.

Even Hipper Than A Food Truck

A food trailer.

Appears legal, too.

WARNING: Kim Fowley Waxing Poetic

Other creeps too.How'd Rodney get so old looking? Not as if he ever goes in the sun. (To be even-handed, we'll let you know how we look in six yrs.)

And: You don't know what the damn hell you'll find on YouTube.

Macho Madness

At laist, a YouTube compilation of the late wrestler.We miss Mean Gene too. (Gene is not dead, just retired.)

Sports Beat

Los Angeles professional teams could not possibly care any less what the peasantry may or may not think of them. (This is in line w/ Just Another Blog™ policy as well.)

The Lakers wrapped up their season on a high noteearly, flagrantly clotheslining people& referring to a ref by a "homophobic slur," as they're calling it these days. And they lost like a bunch of fucking losers.

(It's been a while, but in the third pro sport still practiced locally, the Kings & Ducks sucked.)

Now the Dodgers, whose owners have been setting a bad example for the kids (Not that Laker owner Buss is any prize as a role-model, but the Lakers have won a championship or two since the former Brooklyn Bums last got lucky in 1988.) for some time now, have a new controversy, as recent streaker (but more recent slumpee) Andre Ethier made one of those attack of Tourette's Syndrome-style signals employed in the game toward a photog during batting practice or something.

Ethier can go both ways.

Will he get anything from Easton for getting their gloves & wristband all over the media?

How Can We Miss Her If ... Sixteen Months? Really?

Something (Already mercifully forgotten — no, damnit, it's back! This reminded us of how La Paglia would listen admiringly to Rush Limbaugh, & share her admiration w/ her Salon fans.) brought Camille Paglia to mind, & said mind realized we hadn't seen or heard hide nor hair of Ms. Paglia for some time. You can imagine how curious we are about her opinion of, you know, stuff, lately.

A moment's stalking revealed she's been off the Internet radar of her own volition &, although she promised to return, no such luck!

From 20 January 2010:

Greetings, Salon readers!

Many thanks for your kind queries about my missing column. I am very grateful for your interest and support.

I have gone on hiatus from Salon to focus on my current project for Pantheon Books — a study of the visual arts intended as a companion book to "Break, Blow, Burn" (which was on poetry).

I took a similar hiatus to complete "Break, Blow, Burn." Even a monthly column is very costly in time and energy (at least at the epic Cecil B. DeMille level that I aim for). Please be aware that, unlike most columnists in the United States, I have a day job — as a full-time college teacher.

Naturally, I am bursting with opinions about the new year’s political firestorms and natural cataclysms, but that will have to wait. I will return to Salon this fall, [Fall 2010. Heh indeed. — Ed.] after my book has gone into production.

Best wishes,

Camille Paglia

How's all that working out for you, Camille? We'll be glad to give you Tucker Carlson's digits if the typing-for-a-living thing isn't really happening for you right now.

On The Streets

Note funny looking & mostly U.S.-made autos; hookers on Sunset.So meaningless & disconnected it's as if we were responsible.

Man Bites Dog: Homo-Hater Called Nazi ... By Republican!

Not only that, the hater who called patriot homophobe & Metal Mad Man Bradlee Dean a Nazi (more or less, we're taking a little reactionary license w/ the headline, Jim Hoft-style) is the same guy who invited him to deliver the imprecation of the day to the Minnesota House.

According to those present, Dean, who has suggested he approves of the death penalty for gay people on a radio show, was accusatory toward Democrats and insulting to people who do not believe in Jesus.

"I know this is a non-denominational prayer in this Chamber and it’s not about the Baptists and it’s not about the Catholics alone or the Lutherans or the Wesleyans. Or the Presbyterians the evangelicals or any other denomination but rather the head of the denomination and his name is Jesus. As every President up until 2008 has acknowledged. And we pray it. In Jesus’ name," he said.

Jesus.

House officials said that the guest chaplains are suggested by members and are advised to be non-denominational and inclusionary.

Rep. Ernie Leidiger, R-Mayer, arranged the guest pastor's visit, but said he was unaware of Dean's view of homosexuality, calling it "radical thinking – that kind of thinking, I think back to Nazi Germany… I don’t agree with that.”

Saying he should have done a better job of "screening" Dean, he explained his rationale for inviting the pastor:

I met him about six months ago and what I saw was a good presentation about bringing the Constitution back into the schools. A few months after that one of his people called and said we’d like to have Bradley come on and do the prayer in the morning … And I said I’m not really sure how we get that scheduled up here, so call the clerk’s office. My input was, I’d seen his presentation, he does a good job of talking to students, talking about the Constitution, talking about we need to understand how our country was formed, how important it was to know about the Founding Fathers …Little did I know there’s another side of him, which, by the way, I just learned today… I didn’t realize he was that controversial a figure. I’ve never listened to him on the radio.

Another side of the same asshole coin. We've about had it w/ this Constitution & its attendant hate-filled bullshit. Knock it the hell off, reactionaries!

LATER (1849PDT): Someone who gives a shit (or is paid enough to appear to give a shit) has provided links.

Shoot Us Now Dep't.

The food & iPad combo in this example of yuppie-bait was irksome enough, then we were informed that surgery can no longer be performed w/o an iPad.

Surgeons have been known to use X-ray cassette sterile bags to protect their iPads in the operating room. You could also use a zippered plastic food storage bag that costs about $22 for 150 or so double-zippered bags. The tablet will slide around around inside the bag, but it works.

How did any one remember to breathe before they developed an app for it?

Oh Yeah? Sez Who?

We've (both recently & often) been advised to "bite" someone. In answer, a re-purposed billboard.

Which we could've further re-purposed. No free advertising!

Or even:

Loses the "from a random billboard" motif 'though.

More Morbidity

We assume it wasn't criminal, or there'd be more police cars.

There were two prowl cars when we first wandered by.

Guess who's dead.

Apparently every dep't. needs a motto.

Dep't. Of Duh

The shamelessness and opportunism of conservatives in government and media would astound, if movement conservatism hadn't extinguished any sparks of credibility years ago. They say that they are defending Israel while trying to perpetuate a status quo that isolates Israel internationally, dooms it through demographics to a small handful of equally noxious choices, and undermines the moral legitimacy of both the state and the righteous purpose of providing a safe home for Jews in the world. (How many movement conservatives, if they were honest and actually consistent in the application of their religious beliefs, would be forced to say that all Israeli Jews are condemned to hell?)

No fucking shit. Morons.

Exactly as excerpted at The Daily Dish.

Sorry (1608PDT): Link.

Bad Luck & Morbidity

Whuh? Friday the 13th was last wk.?We'll start paying attention one of these days.

Beat the Rapture: Randy "Macho Man" Savage & Jeffrey Catherine Jones. A bit more on Jones. (Via ME.)

Who will be the third corpse?

She Thinks Her Problem Is ...

“That’s a great question,” Palin said. “I think my problem is that I do have the fire in my belly. I am so adamantly supportive of the good traditional things about America and our free enterprise system and I want to make sure America is put back on the right track and we will do that by defeating Obama in 2012. I have that fire in my belly.”

Read more, or don't.Watch Super Sarah w/o sound. Eerie. Great hair, too.

After viewing entirely too much: Is that tuck & roll on the eyesockets new? Or is this just the first time we've truly stared into the clichéd abyss?

Pretty Much Over, As We've Noted Before

We told you not to trust them:

Peter Scheer: Do you see a parallel there with Barack Obama, who started also as a populist working in communities with working people, who now seems to be more interested in corporate power, influence?

Bill Moyers: Well, I’ve seen this with most Democrats since Johnson’s time, who have bought into the system as it is…and I think that’s Barack Obama’s greatest problem, is that he’s bought into America as it is, and therefore he can’t lead us out of the crisis the way most people thought he could. Yes, he’s a good servant of corporate interest, despite some of his rhetoric. He accepts the system now as it is. He’ll take secret money next year if he has to; he refused to participate in public funding for the election in ’08. And he understands where the deck is stacked, and where the money comes from. No question about it.

Robert Scheer: So where did we liberals go wrong? You know, it’s sort of an irony. You mentioned conservative Texas, but you know, I kind of like the fact that Ron Paul from Texas is at least … [Laughter] raising some questions, you know. And what happened to the sort of liberal outrage, and liberal populism …?

Bill Moyers: I think we thought that we could negotiate, and civilize the corporate power. … We thought that they would respond responsibly to the pleas for equality, justice, or at least fairness. We thought we could … you know, and then Johnson’s great quote from the Old Testament, the Hebrew Bible: “Come now, and let us reason together.” And I think liberals thought that you could regulate these predatory powers so that they would foam less at the mouth, consume less at the meal, and sleep a little easier at night. But they’re restless; you know, money is restless for more. And we have discovered, too late, that they refuse to be reasoned with.

Robert Scheer: Not just reasoned with, but they don’t seem to have any sense of being accountable to future generations. At least with the old moneyed elite, the Rockefellers and so forth, there was some sense of leaving something, of worrying about how you’d be perceived 50 or 100 years up the road. This new crowd just seems to be, you know, get in and get out, and grab what you can.

We got nothing. (In response to the above, & in general. Which is why we are so dangerous.)

Malignant Narcissist Stumps For Change

Not Obama, silly, Newt:

Touring Waterloo, Iowa today, Newt Gingrich attributed part of the media frenzy surrounding his "challenging week" to his campaign's historic nature.

"It's going to take a while for the news media to realize that you're covering something that happens once or twice in a century, a genuine grass-roots campaign of very big ideas," Gingrich said, according to the Associated Press. "I expect it to take a while for it to sink in."

At the heart of reporters' difficulty wrapping their head around his candidacy, Gingrich said, was the threat he represents to the old system of canned talking points and establishment thinking.

"My reaction is if you're the candidate of very dramatic change, it you're the candidate of really new ideas, you have to assume there's a certain amount of clutter and confusion and it takes a while to sort it all out, because you are doing something different," Gingrich told the press.

Reporters did discover one aspect of Gingrich's campaign today that's likely a first: his cell phone, which went off at a rally, uses ABBA's "Dancing Queen" as its ringtone.

In case it didn't sink in: "something that happens once or twice in a century, a genuine grass-roots campaign of very big ideas."

P.S.: Think that's Mrs. Gingrich calling?

"I Hate the Fucking Senate"

From a much longer piece on Our Media Today, a delightful incident of which we hadn't been aware.

What a country.

Local Nazi Beat

Declaration in Support of Arrest Warrant.

Riverside police filed court documents in support of allegations against a 10-year-old boy's stepmother. The records provide a chilling portrait of the family home and point to a possible motive why the boy may have wanted to kill his neo-Nazi father.

Probably No Newt, So Shelly?

Ms. Walsh further pontificates.

More Lists And Factoids

This was inspirational (Suffer, breeders!!)

& led to what 'Murka reads, or buys from Amazon.

Depressing. (But what isn't?)

D-I-V-O-R-C-E

We're really more interested/amused by The Huffington Post having a DIVORCE section than whatever tawdry crap went on chez Schwarzenegger.

Man Of Steal

“Awesome” is the word that springs to mind.

What springs to your mind?

But that’s not all it is—the boulder is just the most prominent feature of Heizer’s latest earthwork. It will be installed above a 456-foot-long trench that stretches behind the Resnick Pavilion. You’ll walk the length of the trench, which eventually descends to fifteen feet underneath the boulder before rising back to ground level on the other side. It promises to be quite an experience. “Awesome” is the word that springs to mind. To give you an idea of the experience, you can see in this aerial view of the campus a path that already exists behind the Resnick Pavilion—this is roughly the length of the trench we’ll begin cutting into the earth this month.

Los Angeles County Museum of Art

The rock itself.

Man vs. Nature

Nothing natural in this image but the algae (If it is algae.) that appears after rain. Should be greener tomorrow.

Above not true: There's bird-shit on the asphalt next door.

Ready for its close-up.

Doing Nothing About It But Talking

Existence, whatever, at least the weather's been enjoyabletolerable. Cool, crisp, cloudy, breezy, & rain just around midnight (Is there a better time?) for the last two nights.

Mainstreaming

Starts where it should, for your convenience.

Different Angle

Free The ... No, Uh ...

Local Political Action

So much for separation of church & state:

Bring Out The Pies!

Local Topiary Activity

Yesterday's Papers Today: The Food Section

The concept of convenience in food preparation is steeply at odds with the idea that all food is sacramental, and eating expensive, rich foods is a devotional act that is somehow also politically progressive.

Yeah, you stupid hippies. Also:

Let the foodies complain about Twitter while they make emu-egg cassoulet with crème fraiche. Techies have better things to do.

So there, pink Himalayan salt user.

The Skin Crawls

We live in a state populated w/ fools who elected this clown Governor. Twice.

Former California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger and his wife, Maria Shriver, separated after she learned he had fathered a child more than a decade ago — before his first run for office — with a longtime member of their household staff.

Shriver moved out of the family's Brentwood mansion earlier this year, after Schwarzenegger acknowledged the paternity. The staff member worked for the family for 20 years, retiring in January.

Holy Moses!

You've probably heard about Glenn "Moses" Beck's latest scam, a rally in Jerusalem this August.* If you haven't, don't complain that we're not linking to any of it. But we did encounter a larger-than-most version of the poster we thought worth sharing.

*We are quite amused that it is to occur on the eighth day of the 20th month.

The Amorphous They Accuse

We were going to start this w/ something like, "Well, if no one else will make fun of Mickey Kaus, we will," but he seems to have caught on & is now handling his own satire. Truly a renaissance man.

Ann Curry to co-host Today, according to NBC. Really? Isn’t she, um … you know … insufferably cloying and phony? Makes Diane Sawyer seem like Humphrey Bogart! Just saying … P.S.: And they accuse* the Republicans of promoting mediocre candidates by internal lockstep [need another ex.-ed David Gregory]. …

Although that sounded like practice for Big Hollywood, which may be Mick's next stop in his spiral of three-dot doom.

*Our emphasis. The other two are his. "They," our ass. Name a name, quote a quote, link a link, fool.

Defense Beat: Death From Above In Your Backyard, Bit-chezz!

Thanks to advances in military technology, your crazed next-door neighbor, stalker ex-husband, boss, parental unit or other repressive agent can keep you under observation or attack 24/7.

No Names, Please

David Frum manages not to name check President Bush in this CNN screed. The very President Bush Frum "served as Special Assistant to the President for Economic Speechwriting from January 2001 to February 2002."

Only fair, of course. When savaging the economic effects of the G.W. Bush admin., one might not make a big deal of one's involvement.

From 2000 to 2007 -- before the onset of the recession -- the median wage actually declined and the average family's debt burden grew heavier.

Then came the economic crisis: 8 million jobs lost in half a year. Housing values collapsed. Savings disappeared.

While the unemployment numbers have improved a little recently, a cohort of young Americans risk losing half a decade of their lives to chronic under-employment -- even as workers 55 and older face prematurely and permanently reduced incomes.

And even as jobs return, it's not clear that incomes will recover.

There's accumulating evidence that upward mobility has broken down in this society. Poorer Americans find it harder to escape poverty than they did a generation ago. More bitter still, there is evidence that people born poor in America find it harder to escape poverty than do people born poor in many European societies, including those supposed backwaters of socialist stagnation, Germany and France.

The Democratic Party responds to those social challenges by offering more government, more regulation and more taxes. These are not Republican answers, obviously.

But what are the Republican answers? And who will offer them?

If Huckabee will not be that candidate, then who will?

The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of David Frum.

How does Mr. Frum miss that the bleak jobless-recovery future of underemployed, immobile youth, reduced wages & no savings he so accurately projects is the "Republican answer?" (We would also like to know exactly what the question was.)

Almost missed this recap for the busy executive or semi-literate housefrau/retiree (It was under D.F.'s photo; immediate eye aversion.):

STORY HIGHLIGHTS

• David Frum: Huckabee's announcement he won't run for president opens GOP void
• Huckabee had his flaws, but got job and mobility concerns of the middle class
• GOP candidates seem out of touch with Americans' worries on housing, jobs, economy
• Frum: Democratic fixes mean taxes, regulation. Not great, but where are the fixes from GOP?

Thanks, CNN. (Make that font larger if you expect to attract more "Boomer" eyeballs.)

Extra-amusing: "GOP candidates seem out of touch." Aren't they supposed to win on the economy? Are reactionary lunacy & kulturkampf that important, or is this some last ditch, passing-of-a-generation distraction before the masses realize* that thirty yrs. of disappearing taxes, deregulation & increasingly big & authoritarian (Hah: Civility!) gov't., no matter the rhetoric (More civility!) are (along w/ a war or five) the cause of the current economic slump?

*It could happen!

It All Comes Out Of The Same Horse

While scanning PBR Moving Corp. HQ 2 L.A., not that we care,

In an effort to stay competitive in a growing craft beer market the company has developed alternate new products like the Loko-esque fruit-flavored Blast by Colt 45. Pabst also owns Lone Star, Colt 45, Old Style, Schlitz and many more labels with "regional appeal." Sales of Pabst Blue Ribbon reportedly make up about 30% of total sales thanks to a renewed popularity "with the young generation of hipsters who embrace its blue-collar roots and low price," says the LA Times.

this came to light:

The old Pabst brewery complex, now an artist loft community, need not worry about its machinery chugging back to life following the move. Pabst won't be bringing any brewing jobs to Southern California, notes the Times, "because MillerCoors brews and bottles its brands. MillerCoors has a brewery in Irwindale, which it opened in 1980 and now employs almost 600 people."

Or the same truck.
Photo by playonthefreeway via LAist Featured Photos pool on Flickr

Will Collapse In The Next Earthquake

Two houses,

one block.

On Vinyl, Man

A possible series of slothful, self-pitying items: Discs we once owned.BOSS RADIO DOUBLE-PLAY!

Reaction To Huckabee & The Lack Of Fire In His Gut

ADVANCE WARNING: We have all of yesterday's Huckabee, w/ Huck hisse'f playing bass behind The Nuge in a scorching rendition of "Cat Scratch Fever," on the DVR. Don't make us whip it out.

That aside, we're starting to think that going to TheDC is straight-up nut-picking; we figure most of the typists there were discovered drooling in the comments on reactionary sites or trolling the leftish blogosphere. (Also Mickey Kaus.)

Because one of the ninnies typing there believes, post-Huckabee

... in some ways you know the Obama camp must be thrilled at the prospect of not having to send the incumbent into a general election debate against the much smarter wit of the governor.

That's right, the (former, ex-, one-time) governor of Arkansas has a "much smarter wit" (Usage, anyone?) than President Obama. Really, one can't type anything beyond "really?" Because, among many other reasons:

In an introductory letter posted on the website, Huckabee explains further.

"Many of our schools and teachers today haven't found ways to make history for kids fun," he writes. "Instead, they're teaching with political bias that distorts facts for the sake of political correctness. As a result, our national pride and patriotism are in jeopardy."

The site lists four experts on its "Council of Masters" as having designed the lessons, including Dr. Larry Schweikart, the author of A Patriot's History of the United States, also known as one of Glenn Beck's favorite history books.

Huckabee has a long history with the conservative historical point of view. Back in April, Jon Stewart grilled Huckabee about his support for David Barton, a historian best known for saying that history curricula ignore the Christian foundation of the United States.

Oh no, too late (Can't say we didn't warn you though.):"Making the pussy purr." (2:25) Nice, Huck.

More Fun W/ Words

Soon to follow "liberal" into the lexicon of the ++un-good: "Public." As noted at Disillusionment Central, from On the Commons:

All things public are under attack. The Fort Worth rebranding is an indication of how effective this attack has been. The city explained that it was dropping the word “public” because of its “potentially negative connotation”. The Founding Fathers would be disconsolate. John Adams wrote in 1776, “There must be a positive passion for the public good, the public interest…established in the minds of the people, or there can be no republican government, nor any real liberty: and this public passion must be superior to all private passions.” Thomas Jefferson agreed, “I profess… that to be false pride which postpones the public good to any private or personal considerations.”

Would it be improper for me to mention the Forth Worth rebranding initiative was mostly paid for by a large oil drilling company?

Not at all.

Help yourselves. We're full.

Dull Pictures Of Boring Clouds

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the industrial pollution in the sky.