Saturday, December 25, 2010

Wha'?

Any other aging, wretched, hearing-challenged, not paying that much attention telebision viewers out there who, as we do, keep hearing ads for an "Orgy Network?" (Turns out it's "4G," some wireless mess that is microwaving your brains into an even mushier state.)

Jesus Death Toll Up-Date

Currently standing at 43 in Pakistan & 38 in the Philippines & Nigeria. Can we get 100 before the end of the day?

38 must be the magic number this yr., as Jesus/gawd allowed this to happen as well. No malice here, just greed.
QUITO, Ecuador (AP) — Ecuadorean officials say the death toll is now 38 from the crash of an overcrowded bus that plunged into a 1,100-foot (350-meter) ravine.

A government statement says the number of injured has also risen, to 46.

Some of the injuries are grave, and the number of dead could increase further.
Oh lordy, why have you forsaken us?

Xmas Sad

This made us quite sad, our being an emotional & mental wreck & all, as our Hallowe'en-deceased friend & former sexual associate was named Doris, & she too was a friend of cats. (And rum.)
Hope our weeping uncontrollably doesn't short out the keyboard.

Hipster Santa May Be Late This Yr.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Orb Up-Date

Everywhere!

Civic Duty

To advise y'all that our (& probably your) cyber-friends at World O'Crap have been compromised & have temporarily relocated.

A Most Filthy Time Of Year

The Internet being filthy w/ Xmas, here's some Xmas smut & a bad pun.
Steal something for yourself at Golden Age Comic Book Stories.

A Sincere Yuletide Wish,
From Us To You:

That every one of you Jesus freaks who think getting shit-faced & making noise on your stolen, does not even appear in your book of lies holiday is the best way to celebrate the non-historical birthday of your Jewish "savior" either die of alcohol poisoning/cirrohsis, or is paralyzed for the remainder of your Jesus-filled (yet still completely empty & meaningless) life by another God Squadder who's driving drunk.

And knock it the hell off w/ the original sin bullshit.
We've already had what little apology we are going to get (none in most cases) for the raped children, the AIDS-sufferers in Africa, the centuries spent attacking Jews, science, women and "heretics", the indulgences and more modern (and tax-deductible) methods of fleecing the gullible to build the Vatican's vast fortune. So, no surprise that these weren't mentioned. But there's something else for which the pope should go to confession, and it's arguably the nastiest of all. I refer to the main doctrine of Christian theology itself, which was the centrepiece of what Ratzinger actually did say in his Thought for the Day.

"Christ destroyed death forever and restored life by means of his shameful death on the Cross."
More shameful than the death itself is the Christian theory that it was necessary. It was necessary because all humans are born in sin. Every tiny baby, too young to have a deed or a thought, is riddled with sin: original sin. Here's Thomas Aquinas:
". . . the original sin of all men was in Adam indeed, as in its principal cause, according to the words of the Apostle(Romans 5:12): "In whom all have sinned": whereas it is in the bodily semen, as in its instrumental cause, since it is by the active power of the semen that original sin together with human nature is transmitted to the child."
Adam (who never existed) bequeathed his "sin" in his bodily semen (charming notion) to all of humanity. That sin, with which every newborn baby is hideously stained (another charming notion), was so terrible that it could be forgiven only through the blood sacrifice of a scapegoat. But no ordinary scapegoat would do. The sin of humanity was so great that the only adequate sacrificial victim was God himself.
That's right. The creator of the universe, sublime inventor of mathematics, of relativistic space-time, of quarks and quanta, of life itself, Almighty God, who reads our every thought and hears our every prayer, omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent God couldn't think of a better way to forgive us than to have himself tortured and executed. For heaven's sake, if he wanted to forgive us, why didn't he just forgive us? Who, after all, needed to be impressed by the blood and the agony? Nobody but himself.
Ratzinger has much to confess in his own conduct, as cardinal and pope. But he is also guilty of promoting one of the most repugnant ideas ever to occur to a human mind: "Without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness" (Hebrews 9:22).

House Of Cards Teeters On Brink

Imbalance Up-Date: Not just income inequity.

The growing imbalance between real wealth creation and worthless paper pushing is bad news

Progressive Flo & the GEICO Gecko illustrate that the economy & financial system are a complete fucking joke.
But these two represent something different, something apocalyptic -- and I say that not merely because their maddening ubiquity has driven me to the brink of insanity. I say it because they are peddling the kind of commodity that offers little tangible worth, waging a fight that promises no valuable innovation, and representing a larger insurance and finance sector that's hollowing out our economy.

[...]

In the global economy's increasingly fierce fight for genuine value and better living standards, this might not be so problematic if America's wealth-creating sectors (i.e., making things or providing valuable services) remained substantially larger than wealth-cannibalizing sectors like insurance and finance. But since the 1980s’ decline of manufacturing, the insurance and finance sector has doubled its share of gross domestic product, hitting 8 percent last year. That's twice as large as both the construction and information sectors -- and ongoing taxpayer bailouts promise to exacerbate the asymmetry even more.

This is certainly great for insurance companies -- for example, it provides them excess billions to buy an absurd amount of ads. For the rest of us, though, the growing imbalance between real wealth creation and worthless paper pushing is bad news -- and that’s why the gecko and Flo are so deeply disturbing. More than just the moment's most annoying shills, they are the cheeky visages of our nation's long-term economic decline.
And you, our "fellow" Americans, are the punchline.

Here You Go, Food Nazi
Michelle Obama

Sorry to admit we haven't tried any of these, other than a McRib®, & of course we've had a burrito or two at Taco Smell. (Identified as a taco in the slideshow. Fucking gawd damn shit, if you're going to type & bitch about food, learn the difference! And the McRib® & $2.00 Meal Deal in the "Worst of 2010" are old stuff on a comeback or merely the same shit at a newly reduced "price point.")

Our recent McRib was crummy. No recollection of whether they were any good the first go-round, even though we remember having had several in that halcyon/Golden Arches age.

This item does look like fun. (Not healthy, you bourgeois sheep, but fun. Like, kicks, man.) Except for that green stuff. That crap rots, do not eat it!
Friendly's® Grilled Cheese BurgerMelt.
One of the many advantages of living in the very bowel of the beast (i.e., most Zone Improvement Postal codes that start w/ 900) is that few of the nation-wide shit-for-suburban-scumbags chains locate in 900XX. (No shit. Closest Friendly's® appears to be in 43512, a mere 1,910 miles from our ZIP. No wonder we don't see any national adverts for them on the telly.)

Ah, we see that Friendly's® is "Where ice cream makes the meal®." We did not know that, do not believe it, & could not possibly care any less, one way or the other. Read the history.
We are a company founded on ice cream but built around families. We opened our first Friendly's Ice Cream Shop in Springfield, Massachusetts in 1935. Friendly's is a place where hungry people can sit together, eat together, joke together and debate about who has the best way to eat an ice cream sundae, where sons can find out why lefty pitchers are harder to hit and where families can meet up to get an extra fifteen minutes of talk time over our famous ice cream.
Is this whole Mormon/Manson family dinner together horseshit an admission that America's children hate their parents so damn much that if they weren't held hostage by threat of food deprivation they would tell their parents just how stupid & boring they are, if not kill them in their sleep?

If any place deserves to burn to the ground in a suspicious but possibly grease-caused fire (As if, once one applies the mind to the concept, there's any place that doesn't deserve that.) it would be one of these dumps. Lucky the closest one is almost 2,000 miles from us.

Horse Latitudes

OK, we're pretty well sick of the whole "zombi" thing. We're feeling about as we did when the Irish & their gawd-awful squeaky music became ubiquitous, around the time that Titanic was a big pile of shit nation-wide. Enough, already. (We gotcher "Celtic Christmas" right here, Paddy!)

But we'll give this a few points & "share" it w/ all, mostly because it's monochromatic, & because (barring the huge War On Christmas "terror" attack we're hoping for) there probably won't be much news, info or other idiocy to relieve our never-ending jadedness over the next few days, wk., or whatever, until the mindless dead awake from their hang-overs & get back to ruining everything.

From The Mail-Box

Received some spam from some whores (directly below, w/ the aging never-was bikini "model") in Oz. (Why?)

Sent them a little note:
If you'd like to help us express our anger, the corporate tools in question are Filmview Services.

Merry Christmas To Our Baby-Killers

And a Happy Hanukkah to you, Mrs. Geller.

Protip: Get a microphone you can attach to your top, rather than one on the camera & four ft. of windy air away from your yap.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Do Let's Have A War.
On Raves & Night Clubs!

From across the pond:
Of course, rights for man, woman & child may vary a bit, depending on whether one is a man, woman, or child.

Washing Away The Scum

Disappointed it's stopped raining. More disappointed no more precip. expected until Boxing Day. Nevertheless, lookit this!
Photo: Joel Bellman
Seventh & Alvarado, four blks. south of the (no longer there) Pioneer Chicken at Third & Alvarado referenced in this sad number.UPDATE (not much later): Further research (the bane of today's modern typist) indicates the Pioneer Chicken in the tune may be a different one than the Third & Alvaradowherever the hell location we were thinking of. That one was right near the the Royal Viking Motel, & there was plenty action there too. Or not. It's been a while.

More research brings us: [I recently heard this song for the first time on a Zevon anthology purchased at the Virgin Megastore for half-off. In the notes, Zevon says nitpickers always tell him there wasn't a Pioneer Chicken stand on Alvarado. -- DA]

Huh, a nitpicker makes an error. Do not pick on us.

W/o Further Comment

From PJM.

What Do the 'Holiday Terror Warning' Targets Have in Common?

by Bob Owens
All are places where some states have outlawed concealed carry, which has saved plenty of lives in Israel and elsewhere.
READbulletFile under: Pindick Compensators, Chinless.

Working-Class Scum:
Not Proud Of America?

A goldbricking parasite on the investing class repeats Michelle Obama's anti-American screed just after (3:50). How many reactionary mouthpieces will be screeching about this? We're waiting.

Holiday Fun

Just so the picture will be up (To nauseate others.) we present the first of several photos from a tree-trimming fest we attended last Friday.

Closet Case? It Would Be
Irresponsible ...

As noted two items down, a Virginia delegate doesn't want sodomites in his precious Virginia Nat'l. Guard.
"It's a distraction when I'm on the battlefield and have to concentrate on the enemy 600 yards away and I'm worried about this guy whose [sic] got eyes on me," the lawmaker, Delegate Bob Marshall (R), told WUSA9. "If I needed a blood transfusion and the guy next to me had committed sodomy 14 times in the last month I'd be worried."
Really, "Delegate Bob?" You're under fire & you think the guy next to you may be more interested in making goo-goo eyes than in keeping himself (& maybe even you) from being killed? A round from the enemy does not threaten you as much as some big handsome stud right next to you blowing kisses? We can only assume that Bob's been so distracted himself, perhaps when he was lifting weights.
He has a personal library of 2000+ books, is an avid reader of history, philosophy, constitutional issues, and medical, social and political issues of importance. His hobbies (when he has time) include weight lifting, gardening and photography.
2000+ books? A veritable  Sarah ("I read 'em all!") Palin.

The Washington Post has another telling quote.
"This policy will weaken military recruitment and retention, and will increase pressure for a military draft,'' Marshall said. "After 232 years of prohibiting active, open homosexuals from enlisting in our military, President Obama and a majority in Congress are conducting a social experiment with our troops and our national security...In countries where religions and cultures find homosexual acts immoral, the Obama administration's repeal policy will work to the detriment of all American troops in securing local cooperation with our nation's foreign policy goals."
Afghanis may have been just fine w/ being bombed by robots while their country is under occupation (A recent survey indicated few Afghans even knew that all the mess inflicted on them was a result of the 11 September, 2001 acts of armed self-defense by people protecting their religion & culture. How will they know there may be sodomites in the ISAF ranks? If we aren't mistaken, the Royal Army & the cock-crazy Canadian Forces already have serving sodomites.) but once the dirty Mooslims (Nonetheless morally admirable for their stance against perversion!) discover that open, active poofters are in the ranks, they'll really be pissed!

Glug Glug Glug

We don't claim to be Mr. Weather History, but in the 37 yrs. we've spent in Southern California's iteration of Hell, we don't remember it raining consistently for this long. Hell, we shouldn't claim to be a which day of the wk. it is-ologist, but hasn't it been raining for a wk. straight?

Watch Your Throat, America

A loon at The Daily Caller foresees "social conservatives" up in arms about, yes, the jamming of
Democrats’ left-wing, radical social agenda down the throats of the American people. This is a wake-up call for social conservatives that we are in a culture war that the left will not give up on despite suffering historic losses in the November midterms.
Wake up, indeed. There was no cultural hysteria until Darin Selnick sounded the alarm, but now they'll really be angry. (As for historic losses, they didn't get the Senate. A real tsunami of righteousness.)
Going forward, DADT will be the rallying cry for social conservatives, and the issue will not fade away. Social conservatives know that the military is the last line of defense in the culture war and if it falls, so does the rest of the country.
Last line of defense in the culture war? Are we going to have a real, shooting war?
Social conservatives are already fighting back. Virginia Delegate Bob Marshall is in the process of drafting a bill for Virginia’s 2011 legislative session that would ban gays from serving in the Virginia National Guard. It is only a matter of time before social conservatives begin to fight back against DADT’s repeal at the federal level as well. Just as abortion has not gone away, DADT will not go away and will be a rallying cry as social conservatives draw the line in the sand and finally say enough is enough and fight to bring back DADT.
Selnick doesn't even get the implications of his own run-on typing. Is the best the "independent consultant and former director of Center for Faith Based and Community Initiatives within the Department of Veterans Affairs" can hope for the reanimation of the DADT corpse? No calls for bringing back sodomy laws & actively enforcing them, no calls to keep gays (Not people, adjectives.) out of the service entirely, merely hope that DADT can be re-inflicted? And as all actual Americans know, DADT was an awful, discriminatory law shoved down America's throat by Bill Clinton, yet Darin wants it back.

They've lost the war, & now they want to reënact the battle. A hint: To protect their precious, virgin throats from left-wing San Francisco values, duct tape over the mouth.

And as it's from Tucker Carlson's The DC: "Man in a suit with a bow-tie neck/Wanna buy a grunt with a third-party check?" although Tuck gave up on the bow-tie a while ago.Note: Will be available sooner or later at Whiskey Fire, but we can't compete w/ Thers, who seems to be on the same typing/posting schedule we are. Odd for a guy who's employed & three hrs. ahead of us.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Steve M. Sums It All Up For You

The manipulators & the manipulated:
... Is that really so hard to grasp?

Well, it is for people who desperately want to feel aggrieved. And the folks who run Fox Nation know that's their audience. So they're pushing this story on the front page, knowing full well that it isn't really something that should outrage right-wingers, but it seems like a right-wing outrage if you misread the story.

And that's what part of the most influential news organization in America wants its audience to do: it wants people to misread this story. The story is on the Fox Nation front page in the hope that people will read it wrong.

This is the labor that fills some people's lives. I don't know how they live with themselves.

AP Theft: Duck & Cover

The weather service said rainfall accumulation could reach 20 inches in some isolated locations by Wednesday, when the first phase of the storm is expected to pass. After a brief respite, it is forecast to return late Christmas Day.
We like rain, but are not such fans of cold. So, we are, naturally, screwed.
Snow levels in Southern California were around 7,000 feet because the storm was so warm, but Tuesday night’s anticipated storm will be much colder, meteorologists said, and that should allow snow at elevations as low as 5,500 feet.
Now starting to think we should've lengthened today's excursion to the outside world & acquired some reasonably priced toilet paper, rather than the corn cobs they charge exorbitant prices for at the corner.

UPDATE (2207 PT): Now it is really starting to come down, Travis Bickle scum washing-stylee!

Wrong & Wronger

Bryan Fischer, whose parent organization already has an ass-covering & permanent disclaimer (Unless otherwise noted, the opinions expressed are the author’s and do not necessarily reflect the views of the American Family Association or American Family Radio.) for his posts, is making a concerted effort to be twice as crazy, three times as stupid & five times as ignorant as any others of his ilk.
In other words, President Obama wants to give the entire land mass of the United States of America back to the Indians. He wants Indian tribes to be our new overlords

The Bush administration rejected this proposal in 2007, on the common sense grounds that it would give a sub-national group veto power over the laws enacted by a democratic legislature.

I see no reason why the president, after he leaves office, can’t submit himself to the authority of any Indian tribe he wants to. Perhaps he figures that, as an adopted Crow Indian, he will be the new chief over this revived Indian empire.

But for the other 312 million of us, I think we’ll settle for our constitutional “We the people” form of government, thank you very much.
How many? 312 million? Mr. Fischer isn't exactly in touch w/ the real America, is he?
Indonesia for the Indonesians!

Will Not Murder For Democracy

A C.O. (Need we add, a dirty fucking hippie, except not.) speaks:

When did your willingness to go along start to shift toward a sense that you couldn't remain in the military?

That didn't take place until I actually deployed and was confronted with making crucial decisions. One of the values I'd been taught and that you hear all the time in the rhetoric of political and military leaders was that democracy is a good thing and it thrives on the will of the people.

That came into question a couple of months after we got to Baghdad. We were moving off the main base and going to live in an old factory in the poor industrial part of town. As we were moving in, the local population came out and held a large peaceful protest and told us very straightforwardly that they didn't want us in their part of town. We ignored that and pushed them out of our way and established ourselves in the factory. Within a couple of days, we had built a large barrier around the full city block that we were living in and continued to displace people who lived and worked there. So this idea that we were there to liberate the common people and help their will flourish — the way we handled that situation seemed to be the complete opposite of it.

What kind of reaction to that did you see on the ground? If you perceived the discrepancy between American rhetoric and American actions, I assume many Iraqis did, too.

Yes, absolutely. They had tried telling us nonviolently that they didn't want us in their neighborhood, and when that didn't work, they tried telling us violently, by using snipers and roadside bombs and that kind of thing. And once they started to get violent, we started to get violent, too. It went back and forth and each attack seemed to be more severe than the last one. Eventually the escalation led to a kind of desperation on the part of a lot of soldiers. There's really no way to defend yourself against a sniper shot or a roadside bomb, so some of our leaders felt that the only way we could defend ourselves was to intimidate the local population into preventing the violence in the first place. So our battalion commanders gave the order that every time a bomb went off, we were entitled to open fire on whoever was standing around.

The way I interpreted that was that we were told to out-terrorize the terrorists. That was really troubling for me; I found it wrong both morally and strategically. If that happened to me, that wouldn't make me more likely to help out whatever army was doing that; it would make me more likely to oppose them. I was in a couple of situations where I was ordered to do that and I refused that order. So that was when I was really forced to make a decision about what I stood for.
See also: Crimes, War.

A Christmas Wish:
Please, Santa, No More Christians!

Especially not those who compare themselves to their "lord" (feudalism alleged to have died some time ago & all) & savior.

No one will save you, you will die, & you are not coming back to life w/ a pair of wings & a halo.

Xmas In Vegas W/ Fuck McSuck

Looking at April Winchell's Holiday Tunes collection, we noted the name Fay McKay, & felt we should share/remember w/ the rest of the world, specifically that we saw Ms. McKay at a lounge gig in Las Vegas some 35 yrs. ago.

We & our fellow barely-post-adolescent travelers found her act to be pretty bad. (We were even more self-consciously hep then. Would nostalgia make the act tolerable now?) Indeed, we doubt if we would even have remembered her & her act (No memory at all of the other acts.) if we hadn't seriously cracked up our associates by calling her "Fuck McSuck." (One always remembers getting big laughs, & perhaps we shouldn't be so quick to claim even adolescence for ourself & our friends, though we were all, obviously, at least 21.)

St. Nick on a stick, nothing & no one can be consigned to the dustbin of history.We note that Ms. McSuckMcKay left Vegas forever in 2008; we're sorry we were mean to her in 197(?), & even sorrier we felt it necessary to repeat it here to a (possibly) larger audience than our five or six buddies. No, wait, perfectly fine to speak ill of the dead. They don't care.

Telebision For The Aging Nostalgiac

Research "credit" for crap on YouTube that some other Internet putz has found? Ahh, who cares, all is free grist for the Malignant mill. We especially enjoyed the "taking a swing at the lens" motifs in a couple of these.Note My Three Sons: Has the wing-tip finally gone the way of all leather?

Monday, December 20, 2010

Mental Health Break

We've suddenly lost any desire to pick through this for the good parts. (Hell, we can barely stick a spoon into a jar of peanut butter & then defy gravity long enough to haul it to our gaping maw.) This'll have to do.
“It’s so different from how people might stereotype the concept of college counseling, or back in the ’70s students coming in with existential crises: who am I?” said Dr. Hwang, whose staff of 29 includes psychiatrists, clinical psychologists and social workers. “Now they’re bringing in life stories involving extensive trauma, a history of serious mental illness,, self-injury, alcohol and other drug use.”
Remember, these are barely post-adolescent students, not homeless 60 yr.-old ex-cons.

We wish some of these dedicated "psychiatrists, clinical psychologists and social workers" would devote some of their energy to making a society in which human beings can function, rather than their futile, Procrustean efforts at modifying people w/ brain- & body-altering drugs to force them to fit a world of fear, hate, injustice, pain, rage & suffering. Treat the cause, not the symptoms. You'd think that would be basic to the "helping" professions. But no: Shut up & take it, & if you can't take it any more, we'll up your dose. Up your dose, we type.

The answer to the "Who am I?" question, we should add, is that you & everybody like you are the future serfs of the new jobless economy, in which you'll be considered fortunate to receive clothing & shelter in exchange for being worked to death.

You think that might depress people?

Myth W/ A Whip

More of Coked®-up Santa (If we remember our cultural heritage correctly, it was Coca-Cola® adverts that established the current Santa image.) in the Golden Age here. This one's rather creepy; is the elf (?) openable w/ a church key?

Musselman Revolution?

A thing in Salon concerning today's anniversary of South Carolina's secession, & a short history of the state. (What a shithole. All assholes, all the time, it appears.)

From their declaration:
We, therefore, the people of South Carolina, by our delegates in convention assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, have solemnly declared that the Union heretofore existing between this state and the other states of North America is dissolved; and that the state of South Carolina has resumed her position among the nations of the world, as [a] separate and independent state, with full power to levy war, conclude peace, contract alliances, establish commerce, and to do all other acts and things which independent states may of right do.
How the fuck did that work out for you, bitches? (And: "Supreme Judge of the world?" Who dat, some guy at the Hague?)

But our true interest is this damning detail, which finally sank into our tiny mind when we saw it on some cheesy blog that takes adverts. (Whores.):
It's a fucking Islamic crescent! Those Carolina crackers were all sekrit Mooooslims! Look at Cracker Nation's state flag!
Not just the crescent moon of the moon god Allah, but a dirty foreign un-American palm tree, like they have in Iran & Saudi Arabia!
The national emblem of the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia
Now you have a better idea of what's going on w/ the peckerwoods.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

More On The Mohammedans

Max Blumenthal (He stole our monogram!) examines a crusade.
Erupting so many years after the September 11th trauma, this spasm of anti-Muslim bigotry might seem oddly timed and unexpectedly spontaneous. But think again: it’s the fruit of an organized, long-term campaign by a tight confederation of right-wing activists and operatives who first focused on Islamophobia soon after the September 11th attacks, but only attained critical mass during the Obama era. It was then that embittered conservative forces, voted out of power in 2008, sought with remarkable success to leverage cultural resentment into political and partisan gain.

No Paul Simon Reference

Via the fabulous MaryC's re-Twit, buncha pix of these United Snakes pre-WWII, all in color & for not even a dime, but free on the Internet. Is this a country, or what?
Main St., Cascade, Idaho: Beer, Pool, Cards, Candy, Tobacco; Drugs; Cafe; Beer. The major food groups, convenient strip mall-style. (Dig also the false fronts. America's been trying to delude itself for one hell of a long time, hasn't it?)

Another Damn Holiday Mess

Ricky Gervais tells it as it is.
So bring them up believing in God and they’ll be good and law abiding. It’s a perfect system. Well, nearly. 75 percent of Americans are God-­‐fearing Christians; 75 percent of prisoners are God-­‐fearing Christians. 10 percent of Americans are atheists; 0.2 percent of prisoners are atheists.
Wish he'd given a link for that stat. Thanks to me.

Straight Outta Inglewood (P.D.)

Via Pupienus Maximus."It's contagious!" "The Shadow of Death!" "Mentally ill!"

Equal time, featuring Judith "Judy" Miller:"You can never find the right words to tell a mother her daughter's been murdered."

Melting Threat Resolves Dilemma

By the weather. We're not going anywhere.
The weather is expected to pick up strong and long again this afternoon possibly causing significant flooding in hillside burn-areas. The second storm, predicted to be more severe, is expected to arrive Monday evening and stick around through Wednesday.

A flash-flood watch is in effect through Sunday night in recent burn areas in Santa Barbara, Ventura and Los Angeles counties and residents near the Station Fire burn area are advised to move their cars off the streets.
And probably won't for several days. More sleepy time.

'Twas The Night Before The Unemployment Ran Out

The winter had been long, & Santa & the elves had had to eat the other four reindeer.

From The Daily Crawler*

Uh, does any one have any idea what (if anything) this is supposed to be, or if it has actual meaning? (We'll confess to general ignorance of the No Labels thing, besides figuring it to be another sad collection of fence-sitters, or mugwumps.)
Q: Why did the No Labels member cross the road?
A: Do you really need to call it that?

***

Q: How many No Labels members does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: I thought I told you to shut up.

***

A Chinese guy, a Jewish guy, and a No Labels guy walk into a bar. Only two of them ever figure out what to order.

***

A No Labels member goes to the doctor. Says, “It hurts when I do this!” Doc doesn’t say anything because it might come out wrong.

***

Q: What do you call a No Labels member with one leg?
A: You don’t call him anything. Try paying attention next time, wingnut.

(Inspiration, as always, by Greg Gutfeld.)
Mere mention of Gutfeld is a dead giveaway that it won't be funny, but ... Maybe it's deliberately not funny because ... something very, very meta, as we all know how clever Treach & Gut are.

*Yes, we're mocking gimpy jaywalker Jim, although the original intent of "Crawler" was to mock the entire Daily Caller. He's probably using a walker by now anyway.

Rum, Sodomy & The Lash

If Jim Hoft is the most cretinous person w/ an Internet megaphone, we can figure his commenters would be even more so.

And Jim being so dense, he forgot the word "repeal" in his headline, so some might think this was written during the Clinton Administration.

“Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” Law Advances in US Senate

Our favorite establishes the REAL/not so real dichotomy in the service.
The problem with repealing DADT won’t be the troops. Not the REAL troops, mind you. The problem will be those who now join because it’s “cool” and because they can now play gay soldiers. The problem will be the media, the politicians and the lawyers.
A call for a junta:
Remember this is NOT A REPEAL. Framing it as a “repeal” is part of the propaganda pushing the agenda. This bill voids Clinton’s executive order which installed DADT then changes the existing BAN on gays serving in the military.

So the enlightened representatives of the American people overrule 3 of the 4 Joint Chiefs of Staff.
Straight-up drooling Sharia Law paranoia:
They-the Gay Lobby have worked so hard to destroy the one thing that protects them, the U.S. Constitution. And the Same sex marriage approval will have all of them filing for marriage, in effect a registration of their life-style. Same for Gays serving in military. All their identities will be known. Then when (and if) sharia comes into the law of the USA, already being used for mortgages, the lists will be examined and the firing squad readied. and the Gays did it to themselves.
Yeah, right:
A future Soldier in Big Gay Obama’s Big Gay Army
http://www.folsomstreetfair.com/photos/folsom-2010/index.php?slide=5
Shower fears ("Maaaah-mmm! Make Justin stop looking at meeee!"):
Disgusting!

The number of recruits will dwindle based on this garbage. Wars are always around to be fought so that means welcome back our old buddy called The Draft! Our proud military didn’t sign up for this! They voiced their opinion in overwhelming numbers saying this won’t work but it’s forced down their throats anyway.

I hope all you “tolerant” people are happy, you know the ones who don’t currently serve and don’t have the same sex watching you shower and getting their jollies from the peep show each and every day and night, sometimes with the option of forced physical contact. If the showers were coed and the men could watch the women and vice versa I’m sure more straight men would sign up for that deal but no, the straight men and women get hung out like meat puppets for openly gay people to gawk over openly! How long before straight men/women bring lawsuits over sexual harassment? That should be a stop to this horrible repeal very soon! DISGUSTING!
What does it all mean?/No idea how the military works:
I still don’t know what “openly gay” means. Is is lisping and talking like a catty girl? Is it wearing sequined halter tops (or otherwise channeling Liberace)? Or is it more like “pestering straight guys for sex until they apply their fist to the offender’s nose”, at which point the gay guy can go to his CO and whine that “He picked on me just because I’m gay”?

Because I’m evil-minded and suspicious, I’m betting that this last possibility is what is REALLY being discussed here: a way to put one over on the straight guys, and give the homosexuals undeserved power in the military hierarchy (more or less, “If you don’t back down on this, that, or the other, I’ll file a harassment charge against you, and you’ll wind up with so many demerits you’ll be a private for life”).
Obligatory Barney Frank reference:
DADT simply requires gays in service to act professionally. I don’t understand why they would have such a problem with that so it must be a money benefit issue for their lovers. However, there is a chance our Navy submarines and ships could turn into Barney Frank’s fairy boat to Fire Island . Immagine if these were the people who landed at Normandy !….. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2pIjzxp8Tg
(They sure know where all the gay stuff on the Internet is, don't they?)

<Gomer Pyle>"Surpise, surprise, that ain't my finger!"</Gomer Pyle>:
After Basic Training Graduation Ceremonies are completed, does that mean that a gay boy can kiss his boyfriend in front of everyone? The gay way of sticking their finger in our eye, no doubt.
Telebision ruined forever by "it" being shoved in a face:
I fear for the guys and gals that are not gay. I am afraid that now the gays will use their new found rights to cause trouble for the straight ones. Guess who will be forced out of the military?

What was so dog gone important to shout their gayness? We get enough shoved in our faces in our every day life. Can’t even watch HGTV any more with out having gay couples buying homes, etc! ALL THE TIME! Sorry I have about turned off HGTV for good.

If they want to be gay that is their problem but stop shoving it in my face.
We'd type something to the effect of "If they want to be stupid fucking morons that is their problem but stop shoving it in my face," but, knowing where the commas go, we just couldn't. And of course we'd be accused of being hateful & trying to quash free speech.