Saturday, August 7, 2010

Spreading Ourselves Thickly Wrap-Up

Most of the good stuff we've extruded today is at Whiskey Fire, as well as attempts to lively it up w/ Gulcher, &tc.

Cross-posted (very angry): Abuse of McArdle.

On to tonight's performance piece, A Night in Hell: Cable/Broadcast Telebision on a Saturday Night/Sunday Morning in August.

The Nanny Church

State of The Discourse: Posts. And worse, posts made of Twitterings.

The Subject: Life itself, made easier for the simpleuncomplicated.

The Shorter: How to Fuck, for Married w/ Children Jesus Freaks. (Emphasis theirs.)
Husbands, don’t waste every date night at a movie where you can’t talk. Use the time to visit with your wife, draw her out, and study her like you do the Bible.

Husbands, plan out your date nights. Ask you wife in advance what sounds good, see what your options are, and make a plan. She’ll be thankful.


Men, you don’t pursue a woman to marry her and stop pursuing her. You pursue a woman to marry her and pursue her with more passion and creativity than ever. How’s it going husbands?

Men, if you don’t date your wife, someone else may eventually volunteer for the job.

Ladies, sometimes it’s a great gift to go into your husband’s world for a date night by doing something like putting on a jersey going to a game and eating a hot dog. His love language may just be hot dog.

Men: find a shirt with buttons, try two eyebrows instead of one, find a breath mint or 20, show up with a gift, don’t ogle other women, and go to a restaurant that does not have a spork.

Sometimes the best date night is date breakfast, date lunch, or surprise pick up your spouse from work for an hour at a hotel.
Those trying to make sense of this in a context more recent than "The Adventures of Ozzie & Harriet" should be advised that our source is a mega-church w/ "Biblical manhood" as one of its themes.

Below, "Pastor" Mark & the Missis. What Ricky Nelson would look like today.
Hair colored as gawd intended it.
While this sort of "men are pigs, women are teasing sluts" role play is thought to be headed in the direction of buggy whips, eight-track cartridges & printed, bound books, it's to be understood that three-card monte & other bunco schemes will always have a few willing players. No wonder the parishioners need to be reminded how & why to "date."

Who, Us?

Thers, Head-Typist-In-Charge of Whiskey Fire, has (not knowing any better, & you'd think, what w/ having offspring & all, he would) "left us the keys" to his establishment as he vacates for a wk.

This couldn't come at a worse time for us, as we misplaced our mojo somewhere, & haven't been as inspired in our railing against the forces of repression lately. Just as well, we'll cool it there w/ the death-threats we've been reduced to making here.

And spare us the crap about "upping our game." This is not a game, it's serious. Like cancer.

Friday, August 6, 2010

About The Best (Most Focused) Shot WeThe Camera Could Get Of Ricki Lee Jones

Did not make our ears bleed. (She gave it a couple good shots, though.)

Dangerous Waters

Santa Monica PD enforcing "No Swimming" sign.
NO Swimming. We mean it.

Bombs Away Up-Date (Up-Dated)

UPDATE: Via HuffPo, allegedly never-before-published photos from Luce's LIFE.

Some Poor Sumbitch Stalled In The Middle Lane On The Transition Rd. From The 10 To The 110

Taken by an unstabilized camera, 5/VIII/2010, 2108PDT.

LOL'd* When We Read It:

"I got a rage to live!"
Then, more audible amusement as we went to the most recent bogroll addition, the Murder/Suicide aggregator, & observed their tag cloud.
Kailfas will happily take second here. Just goes to show which three states are at the socio-cultural cutting edge in the U.S.

Not a professional poll, obviously, but props nonetheless to Canada for showing well. And Oz. Trinidad & Tobago? Very impressive.

Slow news day? Molasses.

*W/ our evil laugh.

Agonizing Existentiality

Remember this well, you'll never read anything like it here again:

It's not even 1300 & this reporter has been awake for five hrs., gone for an hr.'s walk, & shopped.

If this sort of thing ever happens again, take it as rock-solid Biblical confirmation of the immediacy of the end times.

65 And Counting

Click for the victor's version.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

More Nothing

We were informed by the voices from the telebision that today is "Nat'l. Underwear Day." We decided to celebrate by putting some on.

Plenty Of Nothing, & More To Come

The virus that was driving us madder than usual has been beaten down, & new security measures have been installed (along w/ a note to our internal sogware: Believe Chrome the next time it advises there's trouble ahead).

After all this interfacing we are completely dulled out by the prospect of further labor at the keyboard, & have little to add to any discourse anyway. Find amusement elsewhere.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Cacti Must Wear Visible I.D.
At All Times While On Base

What have they done to the Earth? What have they done to our ...


Toads of the Short Forest, minus toads.

Enough Blame To Go Around

Noted this on page one of today's bankrupt dead-tree L.A. TribuneTimes; planned to use the title "Heckuva Job, Bushie!" But they're all guilty,
U.S. soldiers board a C-17 aircraft at Baghdad International Airport last month as they begin their journey to the United States. (Maya Alleruzzo/Associated Press/July 13, 2010)
as Robert Scheer, fired by the (Did we mention bankrupt?) Chicago Times, reminds us in a pre-emptive attack on Clinton revisionism, while taking a swipe at Tina Brown:
It was then that I realized that the revival of the Clinton legacy was on in earnest. Brown, a prominent Brit import, is an expert on refurbishing tarnished royalty, as she demonstrated with her gushing tribute to the Clinton wedding as “a happy throwback to the carefree 1990s.” So carefree that no one of importance, certainly not in the Clinton White House, took serious stock of the collapse of hedge funds like Long-Term Capital Management, a harbinger of disasters to come.

In what I assume was not self-parody, Brown stated that “the Clintons are enjoying political rosy-glow syndrome. In the light of what’s happened since—two grueling wars, the implosion of debt, 14 million unemployed … Chelsea’s wedding allowed us to remember all that prosperity, those continuous Clinton surpluses.” But not, as I the party pooper must add, the Financial Services Modernization Act and the Commodity Futures Modernization Act, which enabled the financial bubble that caused those 14 million to be unemployed.

This all reminds me of the pass given that last attempt at American royalty, when the legacy of John Fitzgerald Kennedy came to be whitewashed so that his reckless decisions to invade Cuba and Vietnam were not to be mentioned. One can hear the “Happy Days Are Here Again” Democratic theme song as Hillary Clinton comes to be nominated after Obama has failed to solve the dire economic problems that his predecessors—Bill Clinton as well as George W. Bush—left him.

Sloth-Generated (Stolen) Wrap-Up

  1. Palin and Johnston Call off Second Engagement
    The night they got back together after calling it quits the first time in March 2009, Levi told Bristol that he may have fathered a baby with another teenage girl.
    Read original story in ABC News | Wednesday, Aug. 4, 2010
  2. Greece's Suicide Rate Has More Than Doubled Since Last Year
    And officials think it has something to do with the financial crisis.
    Read original story in Digital Journal | Wednesday, Aug. 4, 2010
  3. Wyclef Jean Will Run for President of Haiti
    He's been hinting at it for weeks, but the Haitian-born star is expected to make his candidacy official on "Larry King Live" tomorrow night.
    Read original story in CNN | Wednesday, Aug. 4, 2010
  4. Britain Doesn't Know How Much of its Meat Comes From Clones
    But regulators are looking into the matter after a report revealed that a clone-derived bull had illegally hit the market and been eaten last year.
    Read original story in The Independent | Wednesday, Aug. 4, 2010
  5. Woman Arrested for Using 911 as Dating Service
    Bernadette Music is facing charges of disorderly conduct after authorities say she failed to grasp what counts as an emergency.
    Read original story in WCPO | Wednesday, Aug. 4, 2010

Japanese Garden Waterfall

Testing the Blogger™ uploader (don't bother embiggening); shot 2/VIII/2010.

Holding The Little Bastards
For A While

Los Angeles is a Summer Festivalsemi-tropical paradise.
"... I shot my baby"
Where the hipsters hang in Highland Park.
Never been in ourself; more hep than hip.
Mount Wilson, whence emanates mind control of the overt & high-frequency/tin-foil hat varieties.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Tonight's Leftovers

Not very good, but no Real American could resist.
Did not have the nerve to check the ingredients after reading "Patty Meal."

Sportswrite Quote Of The Yr., Probably

So now the Dodgers forge on ahead, but where exactly their forging towards is still unknown.

Shouldn't that be "So for now"?

"I Hate Music"

We're proud there's nothing but shock value & yellow journalism here (if the inanity of quotidian emptiness isn't read). In meat-space, the most literally-shocking line we ever delivered was this item's title. (To a fellow Kinkos wage-slave, a gothette, to fulfill your stereotypical expectations. People w/ whom one must associate in the grim, futile marathon of real-world survival can often be amazingly square, even in sympathetic guise. Crazy kids.)

Sure it was hyperbolic, but at the time it was all telebision &/or sleeping for us in the world beyond the no horizon-in-sight endless grind & humiliation of wage-slaving.

Anyway, we deadpanned it well enough for her jaw to drop appreciably. Actually shocked, not mere épater les bourgeois, "Ha-ha, you so crazy, Bouff," shocking, but "He could mean that, WTF?" shocking. Someone else should have been there too.

Ayatollah Ali Khamenei is probably not joking, unless the usual "Is this anything but the longest running performance art bit in recorded history?" (Or, as the old school knew it, a hoax.) is applied.

Antidote.'Til you puke!

Here Goes Nothing

About to attempt to purge counter-revolutionary infiltrators from Glorious People's Revolutionary Devil-Box. (Fingers crossed, legs open!)


Added irksome & disturbing discovery: One can no longer rid one's devil-box of the accursed IdiotExploder7 if one has Vista Service Pack 3, unless one does much more than using Remove Programs. What the fucking hell is that, Billy Gates? Even worse, it claims that it will revert to/reinstall IE6. That's going to be more secure, innit?

Makes us wish Billy hadn't been two yrs. behind us at The Lakeside School for Boys so many yrs. ago. If we'd known him then we'd ring him right fucking now & give him several pieces of our mind. Try a little philanthropy toward the customers whose money lets you indulge your philanthropic egomania, jerkwad! (Classmate Paul Allen, are you of any use here?)

Lame Virus Excuse

And, we were out enjoying ourself yesterday (pix later, maybe) so lack of items appearing here shouldn't be entirely blamed on the damn thing, which may take yrs. to resolve. (Thanks for the encouragement, "Ron in Milwaukee.") Besides, it's August. Why shouldn't we take a well-deserved vacation? Employment, or lack thereof, has nothing to do w/ it.

Not a good sign: First place we visited for solutions indicated that the tool we'd need is Malwarebytes' Anti-Malware, already installed in the devil box. We've run it twice, the first time it found more viral crap than Bill Gates' security thingie (which also claimed to have removed & quarantined all the nasty) & claimed to have removed them. The second time, even as the virus was popping-up at us, it didn't find anything. Though it seems as if Antivir hides after you've clicked "no, eat my fuck" about 50 times.

Big question: Why the fuck can't this be stopped? Per, the assholes behind this scam will take your money via credit card. Is there no fucking way to track these shits down for torture & mutilation? War in ah Babylon nothing, what's Obama doing about this terrorism?

Monday, August 2, 2010


Still under viral attack.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Dep't. Of Amplification

Some Bastard (But not just any Bastard!) followed our recent fucking w/ the gyppos item w/ this to-the-point performance. Never seen the two-fisted fiddle approach before. (Note: Vol. low.)Let's pick some corn now. (Note: Vol. much higher. Watch it!)

Assault & Battery

The Just Another Blog™ devil-box was attacked by a Trojan early this p.m., as soon as we typed in the password & hit enter.

Finally were able to get Microsoft Security to clean it out before the fucking Nazi Trojan robot stopped everything else from working (Who'd've thought computing would require such physical dexterity?) & then ran Malwarebytes' Anti-Malware, which found the remnant of the infestation & destroyed it.

The effing thing managed to reset all the damn browsers to go through a (non-existent, obviously) proxy, keeping us from connecting to anything but gmail. (What makes them so special? And points to Firefox for advising us that it was a proxy problem. No thanks to Chrome or IdiotExploder7.) So we thought we'd check w/ TWCable before effing w/ anything, & the woman who checked their end of things out walked us through non-setting for proxy use, even though it wasn't TWC's fault. Very nice. Of course, TWC let the fucking Trojan through in the first place, but ...

Now a question: Why has no one tracked down the creator of this Antivir Solution Pro & shoved a laptop about 50 ft. up his ass, sideways?

We're volunteering right now.

Tenured Public Employee Bitches About People Bitching About Corporations

Let's see you up your productivity a little, Professor Althouse. If you can't teach a couple more classes this term, someone else will, & probably for less money & better results.
How is it a singreed! — or treachery for a business to operate efficiently by laying off employees when there is less work to be done?
In most cases in the real world, there is just as much work to be done as before. Lay-offs are to improve the bottom-line for greedy stockholders (Hey? Isn't "greed!" one of those seven deadly sins?) not because half the people in the office are sitting around shooting baskets in their neighbor's wastebasket w/ crumpled pieces of paper because there's so little to do.

Fucking parasitic ignoramus, get a clue about the world of greed & suffering that real — hard-working! — Americans endure daily, or shut your glibertarian-cliché keyboard.

Althouse's adventures in foaming at the mouth based on Bob Herbert in The NYT. Now there is no reason in the world, ever, to click her.

Taxes Are Just Killing Us!

Recommended reading from me.
The most egregious example is General Electric. Last year the conglomerate generated $10.3 billion in pretax income, but ended up owing nothing to Uncle Sam. In fact, it recorded a tax benefit of $1.1 billion.
America bends over, part lebbenty-lebben million. Fucking sheep. You deserve everything that you (don't) get.

RFID Of The Beast

No idea what a U.S. "passport card" is (though USSR-style internal passports & required-for-blacks Union of South Africa pass cards come to mind).

Damnit, we've learned something new, despite ourself! Oddly enough, we found passport card when looking for "pass cards," not trusting our memory that that was the exact phrase. (It is, & how long before we're all sporting these things w/ us under penalty of law & deportation?)
Happy Traveler, our ass.
Why did we wonder?
Radio frequency identification (RFID) tags are becoming pervasive as the barcodes of the 21st century. They are being used in everything from Wal-Mart merchandise to U.S. passport cards.
Of course they aren't secure, as this report indicates.
“These are pervasive technologies, but they absolutely should not be used in identification cards,” Paget (right and top) said during the live demonstration.

Nostalgia Phreaks

From, via The Daliy Dish, the October '71 Esquire story that exposed 'phone phreaks to the civilized world.

What Sully liked:
As We May Think by Vannevar Bush from the July 1945 issue of the Atlantic is the first candidate. An excerpt:
Consider a future device for individual use, which is a sort of mechanized private file and library. It needs a name, and, to coin one at random, "memex" will do. A memex is a device in which an individual stores all his books, records, and communications, and which is mechanized so that it may be consulted with exceeding speed and flexibility. It is an enlarged intimate supplement to his memory.
Not bloody likely. No one will believe silly crap like that.

Filed under: Free Speech Isn't Free, But 'Phone Calls Can Be.