Monday, October 19, 2009

They Called It Humour

It was a slower, simpler time, because people were simpletons. Except the morons, of course.

Dodgers Suck!!


Annals Of Packaging

Do children need to be belted in as well as seated (& supervised) while eating?

This one is straight WTF?
Galt Sauce?

Our nutritional regimen? Ask Nietzsche, baby.

Jesus ♥ States Rights For Whites

Looking at the LGF take on those penny-pinchin' Joos (Saw it on memeorandum. Don't get the idea that, whatever attitude adjustment has gone on there, we are even occasional visitors.) & stumbled over this, which you can ignore. The real meat on the real McCain is here, & long. It means extra schadenfreude, as R. S. has a long history of defending the South from Northern Aggression, defending Jesus from abolitionists, & so on.

'Zat Answer Your Question, Norm?

A Penny Saved. . .

Daniel Gross
Norman Podhoretz, one of the original neoconservatives, just wrote a 352-page book asking "Why Are Jews Liberals?" To Podhoretz, and to many others, it's a mystery why Jews remain loyal to the Democratic party and continue to avoid aligning with today's southern-based GOP. After all, many Jews fall into a demographic—higher income, suburban, professional—that has tended to align with the GOP. And recent Republican administrations have been aggressively pro-Israel (at least when Israel happens to be governed by a right-of-center coalition).  Plus, Republicans have pretty much purged the folks who make unfortunate stereotypical comments about Christians' elder brothers in faith. Well, pretty much.
Straight outta Newsweek.

GOP: Neither Racist Nor Anti-Semitic

Recently your newspaper published a letter from state Rep. Bakari Sellers attacking U.S. Sen. Jim DeMint and his opposition to congressional earmarks.

There is a saying that the Jews who are wealthy got that way not by watching dollars, but instead by taking care of the pennies and the dollars taking care of themselves. By not using earmarks to fund projects for South Carolina and instead using actual bills, DeMint is watching our nation’s pennies and trying to preserve our country’s wealth and our economy’s viability to give all an opportunity to succeed.

On to pointless boilerplate about earmarks. (We've always preferred "pork." What is up w/ "earmarks?")

But, why "the Jews?" Are they the only ones who use this tricky secret? Will the "Jesus saves, Moses invests" controversy come up again?

We found the Jew reference stupid & offensive enough, & scanned the remaining boiler plate for more offense (found plenty of offensive stupidity, but no further stupid offense*). Then, paying attention, noted it was not signed by the expected A. Cracker, Bubba's Trailer Park, Wide-Spot-in-the Road, The Palmetto (Bug) State. Nope, not at all.
Now one might ask, just who is watching out for whom?

− Edwin O. Merwin Jr., Chairman, Bamberg County Republican Party, Denmark

−James S. Ulmer Jr., Chairman, Orangeburg County Republican Party, North

We'll have to figure that these two GOP chairs are watching out for the Jews while Sen. DeMint pinches pennies in Washington.

* "Well, it's more important to get crap cheap, even if our children get Chinese lead poisoning" is stupid & offensive. But if we must thin the herd, where better to start?
Meanwhile, DeMint continues to look out for his constituency in other ways. For example, on Feb. 5, DeMint announced the introduction of a bill to protect small businesses, charities and families by reforming the Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act of 2008. This new law will demand onerous testing for anything geared toward children age 12 and under. The mandate falls on books, toys, clothing, hair bands, board games, sporting equipment, backpacks and even special learning equipment made for children with disabilities. Alas his bill did not pass.
Alas indeed.

19 October: Limey Loser Cornwallis Surrenders; Napoleon Retreats; War Over; Agnew Speaks! Funny Filth In Court

Today is Monday, Oct. 19, the 292nd day of 2009. There are 73 days left in the year. The UPI Almanac.Today's Highlight in History:
On Oct. 19, 1781, British troops under General Lord Cornwallis surrendered at Yorktown, Va., as the American Revolution neared its end.
On this date:
In 1765, the Stamp Act Congress, meeting in New York, drew up a declaration of rights and liberties.
In 1812, French forces under Napoleon Bonaparte began their retreat from Moscow.
In 1864, Confederate Gen. Jubal A. Early attacked Union forces at Cedar Creek, Va.; the Union troops were able to rally and defeat the Confederates.
In 1944, the Navy announced that black women would be allowed into the WAVES (Women Accepted for Volunteer Emergency Service).
In 1950, United Nations forces entered the North Korean capital of Pyongyang.
In 1951, President Harry S. Truman signed an act formally ending the state of war with Germany.
In 1960, President Dwight D. Eisenhower imposed an embargo on exports to Cuba covering all commodities except medical supplies and certain food products.
In 1967, the U.S. space probe Mariner 5 flew past Venus.
Forty years ago, in 1969, Vice President Spiro T. Agnew referred to anti-Vietnam War protesters  as "an effete corps of impudent snobs." Vice President Spiro T. Agnew speaks. [Yep, 40 yrs. on we're still a bunch of snooty elitists, looking down our noses at the little people in Flyover Country. — Ed.]
In 1977, the supersonic Concorde made its first landing in New York City.
In 1982, carmaker John DeLorean was arrested in Los Angeles and charged in a $24 million cocaine scheme aimed at salvaging his bankrupt sports car company. He was tried and acquitted.
In 1987, the stock market crashed as the Dow Jones Industrial Average plunged 508 points, or 22.6 percent in value.

In 1994, 22 people were killed as a terrorist bomb shattered a bus in the heart of Tel Aviv's shopping district.
In 1999, legislation to overhaul the nation's campaign finance laws fell to a filibuster by Senate Republicans for the fourth straight year. The Atlanta Braves won the National League pennant by beating the New York Mets, 10-9, in Game 6 of their championship series.
In 2001, two Army Rangers were killed in a helicopter crash in Pakistan in the first combat-related American deaths of the military campaign in Afghanistan.
In 2003, Pope John Paul II beatified Mother Teresa during a ceremony in St. Peter's Square.
In 2004, insurgents in Iraq abducted Margaret Hassan, the local director of CARE International, from her car in Baghdad. (Hassan is believed to have been slain by her captors a month later; her body has never been found.) Thirteen people were killed when a Corporate Airlines commuter turboprop crashed in northeast Missouri. Former arms control adviser Paul H. Nitze died in Washington, D.C. at age 97.
In 2005, a defiant Saddam Hussein pleaded innocent to charges of premeditated murder and torture at his trial in Baghdad.
In 2006, the Dow Jones Industrial Average closed above 12,000 for the first time, ending at 12,011.73.
In 2008, retired Gen. Colin Powell, a Republican who was President George W. Bush's first secretary of state, broke with the party and endorsed Democrat Barack Obama for president, calling him a "transformational figure" during an appearance on NBC's "Meet the Press." The Tampa Bay Rays held off the defending champion Boston Red Sox 3-1 to win the American League championship series in Game 7.
Today's Birthdays: Former U.S. ambassador to Russia Robert S. Strauss is 91. Author John le Carre is 78. Artist Peter Max is 72. Author and critic Renata Adler is 71. Actor Michael Gambon is 69. Actor John Lithgow is 64. Feminist activist Patricia Ireland is 64. Singer Jeannie C. Riley is 64. Rock singer-musician Patrick Simmons (The Doobie Brothers) is 61. Talk show host Charlie Chase is 57. Rock singer-musician Karl Wallinger (World Party) is 52. Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele is 51. Singer Jennifer Holliday is 49. Boxer Evander Holyfield is 47. TV host Ty Pennington ("Extreme Makeover: Home Edition") is 45. Rock singer-musician Todd Park Mohr (Big Head Todd and the Monsters) is 44. Actor Jon Favreau is 43. Amy Carter is 42. "South Park" co-creator Trey Parker is 40. Comedian Chris Kattan is 39. Rock singer Pras Michel (The Fugees) is 37. Actor Omar Gooding is 33. Country singer Cyndi Thomson is 33. Writer-director Jason Reitman is 32.
Today In Entertainment History October 19
In 1952, Hank Williams and his second wife, Billie Jean, repeated their wedding vows on a New Orleans stage. Williams died less than three months later.
In 1959, the William Gibson play "The Miracle Worker," starring Patty Duke as Helen Keller and Anne Bancroft as Helen's teacher, Annie Sullivan, opened on Broadway. [We didn't know Mr. Cyberspace got his start on Broadway. — Ed.]
In 1966, The Yardbirds arrived in New York for their first North American tour. After only two dates, guitarist Jeff Beck left the band.
In 1967, Smokey Robinson and The Miracles released "I Second That Emotion."
In 1987, Melissa Etheridge began recording her first album, called "Melissa Etheridge."
In 1990, the jury in the 2 Live Crew obscenity trial in Florida asked the judge for permission to laugh out loud. Some of the jurors said it actually was causing them pain to hold in their laughter. [Verdict: "Filthy but funny." — Ed.]
In 1991, Grant Turner, the voice of the Grand Ole Opry, died. He was 79.
In 1994, entertainer Martha Raye died in Los Angeles at age 78.
In 2008, Mr. Blackwell, the acerbic designer famous for his annual worst-dressed list of celebrities, died in Los Angeles at age 86.
Thought for Today: "It takes a clever man to turn cynic and a wise man to be clever enough not to." — Fannie Hurst, American author (born this date in 1885, died 1968). [Clever editor thinks it's all crap. — Ed.]

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Not Really Nut-Picking. Really.

While listening to the Choking Dawgs choke (loudly) in Philadelphia (IS THERE NO JUSTICE?) we were inspired (by sheer boredom) to read an Opinionator round-up of the No Fucking Limbaugh in the NFL blather-fest.

Few of the quotes from the reactionary bloviators made reference to the racial statements that were the cause of the controversy, other than to worry that racism & conservatism might, somehow, be thought of as one & the same, therefore conservos must fight this w/ every ounce of their beings. (For the masochistic: Total Buffoon [& not in a good way] John Ziegler, Big Hose, & Child of the Corner Andy McCarthy.) No, 'twas merely Limbaugh's "politics" that doomed his bid.

But the real fun was the comments. (So dulled out we read almost all of them.) Virtually all the Limbaugh supporters display low-info or "special information from Fox" delusions.

This one caught our eye & ear, partly because the good doctor (Note: The typist is a doctor. It says so. Twice. We sincerely hope he is not responsible for human or animal life in a medical or any other capacity.) can at least use spell check, if not punctuate perfectly.
It appars that Paul Pelosi will be investing in a new football league, the UFL. One wonders however if the husband of the Speaker of the House of Representatives would support Rush Limbaugh who has the same right to invest in the NFL.

False comments, innuendo, all hiding behind a phony charge of racism is apparently the political capital of the day. This nation has long been a republic based upon constitutional law and human rights. “Life. liberty and the pursuit of happiness” are inherent rights due Rush Limbaugh, sadly they have been abrogated, trampled and dismissed by those miscreants who do not believe in free speech for conservatives and small business owners.

One does not have to accept the speech of Art Rooney or for that matter any past or present owner in the NFL to acknowledge their administrative expertise and love of the game. As the old Sunday School chorus still proclaims, “Red and yellow black and white they are precious in his site [sic].” Rush Limbaugh is as precious in his existence as is Joe Biden.

True, free speech allows critics to criticize and enunciate lies that have no basis in fact, yet NFL officials. media outlets, individuals, who succumb to this type of pressure, and adopt double standards, are at best midgets of principle, or at worst dishonest and unfit for executive level administrative leadership. Rush Limbaugh, has the right to speak, be evaluated by sports fans in terms of honesty and integrity. He also has the right to be protected from scurrilous lies and attacks especially from dishonest people who merely exercise ulterior motives at the bidding of national power elites.

The NFL should have spoken to power, instead they caved and crumbled to it in quick order. This miscarriage of basic justice is a serious matter for an administration and professional league that touts diversity. Apparently their definition of diversity does include conservatives, Missourians, talk show hosts, in fact all types of principled Americans. Mr. Limbaugh, is owed and should be the beneficiary of an apology from the, NFL, the perpetrators of this personal scandalous attack, social misfits and radical bigots who spread lies and vermin all over the nation in an attempt to eliminate his rights. We are Americans, this is America, and a major abridgement of free enterprise and free speech has occurred, a dangerous combination.

Dr. Alan Phillips,
IL— Dr. Phillips
We won't go line by line, (Just enjoy the lunacy for iutself.) but we'll point out that anyone (Paul Pelosi or otherwise) who is stupid enough & has enough money can attempt to start another American football league. Which has nothing to do w/ Limbaugh's desire to join a group of investors hoping to buy an NFL team.

Many others felt that free speech & the free market had somehow been violated. Did Congress force a law down our throats forbidding Limbaugh from joining a potential ownership group? No. There was also the belief that the NFL, rather than the investment group, turned Limbaugh down. How the hell are these "special information from Glenn Beck" voters be reasoned w/?

At least this guy doesn't claim to be a doctor.
In the Fifties we had a political doctrine under which people in the entertainment business were denied economic opportunities because of their political opinions: McCarthyism.

Meet the new boss. Same as the old boss.
— Peter
That's right, Mr. Excellence in Broadcasting has lost his $38 million a year job, & will never be allowed to broadcast or to invest in anything ever again. Exactly like the blacklist.

They Shoot Horses & Elephants, Don't They?


More amusing.

Maybe she (meaning, of course, the actual author & the editors involved) should have tried "Going Mavericky."

English only, right?

Vicious Animal

From Snarla.

English Teacher Who Can't Spell & "Mom" Unite For "9/12" & Literacy

Gawd Bless Ameria!
"Me must not allow!"
Is our children learning?
Probably not if she's teaching.

18 October: DNA; Musselmen Offend Xians; Edict Of Fontainebleau; Play That Killed Lincoln Opens; Alaska & P. R. Belong To US; Al Green Gets The Grits

Today is Sunday, Oct. 18, the 291st day of 2009. There are 74 days left in the year. The UPI Almanac.Today's Highlight in History:
On Oct. 18, 1962, Dr. James D. Watson of the United States and Drs. Francis Crick and Maurice Wilkins of Britain were named winners of the Nobel Prize for Medicine and Physiology for their work in determining the double-helix molecular structure of DNA.
On this date:
In 1009 (by some accounts on Oct. 18), the Church of the Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem was destroyed at the order of Fatimid caliph al-Hakim of Egypt. (The church was later rebuilt.)
In 1685, King Louis XIV signed the Edict of Fontainebleau, revoking the Edict of Nantes that had established legal toleration of France's Protestant population, the Huguenots. (The French Parliament recorded the new edict four days later.)
In 1776, the border between Maryland and Pennsylvania was settled. Dubbed the "Mason-Dixon" line, it became the unofficial boundary between North and South.
In 1858, the play "Our American Cousin" by Tom Taylor premiered at Laura Keene's theater in New York.
In 1867, the United States took formal possession of Alaska from Russia.
In 1892, the first long-distance telephone line between New York and Chicago was officially opened (it could only handle one call at a time).
In 1898, the American flag was raised in Puerto Rico shortly before Spain formally relinquished control of the island to the United States.
In 1922, the British Broadcasting Corp. was established.
In 1931, inventor Thomas Alva Edison died in West Orange, N.J., at age 84.
In 1944, Soviet troops invaded Czechoslovakia.
Fifty years ago, in 1959, the Soviet Union announced an unmanned space vehicle had taken the first pictures of the far side of the moon.
In 1968, the U.S. Olympic Committee suspended two black athletes, Tommie Smith and John Carlos, for giving a "black power" salute as a protest during a victory ceremony in Mexico City.
In 1969, the federal government banned artificial sweeteners known as cyclamates because of evidence they caused cancer in laboratory rats.
Thirty-five years ago, in 1974, the jury in the Watergate cover-up trial heard a tape recording in which U.S. President Richard Nixon told aide John Dean to try to stop the Watergate burglary investigation before it implicated White House personnel.
In 1977, West German commandos stormed a hijacked Lufthansa jetliner on the ground in Mogadishu, Somalia, freeing all 86 hostages and killing three of the four hijackers. Reggie Jackson of the New York Yankees became the second player to hit three home runs in a World Series game as he led New York to an 8-4 victory over the Los Angeles Dodgers in the deciding Game 6.
In 1982, former first lady Bess Truman died at her home in Independence, Mo., at age 97.
In 1984, U.S. President Ronald Reagan ordered an investigation of a CIA handbook for Nicaraguan rebels that suggested assassination as a political tactic.
In 1989, Erich Honecker was ousted as leader of East Germany after 18 years in power.
In 1990, Iraq, pinched by economic sanctions, offered to sell oil to anyone at half the going price.
In 1991, Israel and the Soviet Union agreed to renew full diplomatic relations for the first time since 1967. The United States and Soviet Union formally invited Israeli and Arab leaders to a conference in Spain to initiate direct bilateral peace talks.
In 1992, numerous civilians were killed or wounded when Serbian forces unleashed a citywide artillery barrage on Sarajevo, Bosnia-Herzegovina.
In 1999, career prosecutor Robert Ray was sworn in to replace Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr and wrap up the wide-ranging investigation of President Bill Clinton and first lady Hillary Rodham Clinton. The New York Yankees won a record 36th pennant, beating the Boston Red Sox 6-1 in Game 5 of the American League Championship Series at Fenway Park.
In 2001, four defendants were convicted in New York for the 1998 bombings of two U.S. embassies in Africa.
In 2004, President George W. Bush and Democratic rival John Kerry traded biting accusations over the war in Iraq, with Bush saying his Democratic challenger stood for "protest and defeatism" while Kerry accused the president of "arrogant boasting." An Anglican church commission urged the U.S. Episcopal Church not to elect any more gay bishops and called on conservative African bishops to stop meddling in the affairs of other dioceses.
In 2007, former Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto returned to Pakistan, ending eight years of self-imposed exile; a suicide bombing in a crowd welcoming her killed more than 140 people.
In 2008, President George W. Bush, speaking at Camp David, said he would host an international summit in response to the global financial crisis, but did not set a date or place for the meeting. Anti-American Shiite cleric Muqtada al-Sadr urged Iraq's parliament to reject a pact that would extend U.S. presence in Iraq for three years. Cole Puffinburger, a 6-year-old boy kidnapped from a Las Vegas home by alleged drug dealers posing as policemen, was found safe in a neighborhood northeast of the Las Vegas Strip.
Today's Birthdays: Rock-'n'-roll performer Chuck Berry is 83.
Sportscaster Keith Jackson is 81. Actress Dawn Wells is 71. Pro Football Hall-of-Famer Mike Ditka is 70. Actor Joe Morton is 62. Actress Pam Dawber is 59. Author Terry McMillan is 58. Writer-producer Chuck Lorre is 57. Gospel singer Vickie Winans is 56. International Tennis Hall of Famer Martina Navratilova is 53. Boxer Thomas Hearns is 51. Actor Jean-Claude Van Damme is 49. Actress Erin Moran is 49. Jazz musician Wynton Marsalis is 48. Actor Vincent Spano is 47. Rock musician Tim Cross is 43. Tennis player Michael Stich is 41. Singer Nonchalant is 36. Rock musician Peter Svenson (The Cardigans) is 35. Actor Wesley Jonathan is 31. Singer-actor Ne-Yo is 30.
Today In Entertainment History October 18
In 1952, Hank Williams married his second wife, Billie Jean Jones, in Minden, La. The next day, they repeated their vows twice at two shows for concert-goers in New Orleans.
In 1966, the Jimi Hendrix Experience made its debut in Paris.
In 1967, the satiric film "How I Won the War" premiered in London. It starred John Lennon as Private Gripweed.
In 1968, John Lennon was arrested in Ringo Starr's London apartment for pot possession. The arrest became the basis for the battle by US immigration officials who wanted to deny Lennon American citizenship. Bob Wills was elected to the Country Music Hall of Fame.
In 1974, Al Green's supposed girlfriend, Mary Woodson, shot herself to death at Green's home north of Memphis. That was after she had thrown a pot of boiling grits on Green as he was getting out of the bathtub.
In 1988, Bruce Springsteen broke up the E Street Band, telling them he wanted to pursue his own projects. They have since reunited. "Roseanne," starring Roseanne Barr, made its debut on ABC.
In 1990, the city of Los Angeles declared "Rocky Horror Picture Show Day," marking the 15th anniversary of the movie. There was a big party with most of the film's movie stars two days later.
In 2000, singer Zack De La Rocha announced he was leaving Rage Against The Machine. They have since reunited.
In 2008, soul singer Dee Dee Warwick died in New Jersey's Essex County at age 63.
Thought for Today: "I do not prize the word cheap. It is not a badge of honor ... it is a symbol of despair. Cheap prices make for cheap goods; cheap goods make for cheap men; and cheap men make for a cheap country!" — President William McKinley (1843-1901).

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Before They Met Bob Marley

A sort of poor man's Sonics, actually. Though these white-buck wearing boys never got as far out of the '60s NW punk/garage scene as The Sonics did. Would not be complete w/o listening to several versions of the greatest single ever.There's your Swingin' Sat. Nite! Or so we thought, but then came Margie!

Wrasslin' Wrap-Up

LL Cool G

And from the focus groups:
Glenn Beck, however, received nothing short of adulation from these voters, particularly the women.  They believe he embodies the best of conservative media – determination to unearth the stories the liberal media tries to bury, love of country, and refusal to be intimidated, even as the liberal media unleashes waves of attacks on his past and his credibility.

I think he’s a patriot… I think he’s passionate.  You know they make jokes about him crying and all this kind of stuff; I think the man, I think the man feels it.  I think he’s genuine.

I think the guy’s brilliant.  No one goes after him because he does his homework.  He checks, double checks, triple checks and he says he refuses to put it on the air unless it’s been checked a hundred different times.  So when you can’t get at him, you start calling him names and start digging into his past.

He is a firecracker… He tells the truth… He is also a person who says what he thinks… He gets emotional, but if you can past the emotion and follow his logic, he makes some really good points.

I get angry when I watch his show because I get angry that no one is listening to this and how come regular media is not airing it.

Two aspects of the discussion on Beck among conservative Republicans were particularly noteworthy.  One was a common fear among the women for his personal safety, a belief that his willingness to stand up to powerful liberal interests was putting his life, as well as the lives of those working with him, in danger.  Of course, his willingness to face this danger head on only adds to his legend.

I fear for his life… He is heavily secured believe me.

Glenn Beck is the type of man that he has put his personal finances on the line to protect everyone of his employees.  They all have… bodyguards, security, high security.  He said I don’t care if my business goes down or I am put out of business, this is my family, my family and, he has twelve employees in his business.  That is the kind of man he is.

The other is the commitment these voters have made to Beck and his show.  More than half of the respondents in our conservative Republicans groups indicated that they try to watch or listen to Beck on a daily basis, with some going to great lengths to ensure they (and their families) do not miss a thing.

I listen to him every morning.  I try if I get home at 5:00 I try to watch him on TV.  If not, I’ll watch him on the internet the next day.

Watch and listen.  Well I don’t watch anymore because we are unemployed and I had to cancel cable but I listen to him on the radio… I catch the last half hour of his show everyday because I get home from work… I record it… My 16-year-old watches Beck.  She says, “Is it recorded?  I hope you didn’t delete it yet. ” There’s hope.
"Keep hope alive!" suckers.


A focus-group examination of the really, really rabid Republicans, & the castles in the sky in which they live.
First and foremost, these conservative Republican voters believe Obama is deliberately and ruthlessly advancing a ‘secret agenda’ to bankrupt our country and dramatically expand government control over all aspects of our daily lives.  They view this effort in sweeping terms, and cast a successful Obama presidency as the destruction of the United States as it was conceived by our founders and developed over the past 200 years.
Absurd? You betcha. Nothing we didn't know before, but there it is, in all it's black & white absurdity. Real fun occurs in the more psychological approach to figuring out these lost souls.
This concern combines with a profound sense of collective identity.  In our conversations, it was striking how these voters constantly characterized themselves as part of a group of individuals who share a set of beliefs, a unique knowledge, and a commitment of opposition to Obama that sets them apart from the majority of the country.  They readily identify themselves as a minority in this country – a minority whose values are mocked and attacked by a liberal media and class of elites.  They also believe they possess a level of knowledge and understanding when it comes to politics and current events, one gained from a rejection of the mainstream media and an embrace of conservative media and pundits such as Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh, which sets them apart even more.  Further, they believe this position leaves them with a responsibility to spread the word, to educate those who do not share their insights, and to take back the country that they love.  Their faith in this country and its ideals leave them confident that their numbers will grow, and that they will ultimately defeat Barack Obama and the shadowy forces driving his hidden agenda.
There's really no figuring them out. A new chapter may have to be written for the DSM. Fact-free paranoia, projection, persecution delusion ...

OK, lots of good stuff & no one needs us to explain it. (We'd rather finish reading it than type more about it.) Many quotes from the unfocused, who pretty much speak as they type, though the focusers no doubt spelled many words differently than the persecuted would have. We still don't understand the incredible gullibility of these suckers, but we all know how often one is born.

17 October: Earthquake in Bay Area; Trans-Atlantic Wireless Service; Ennui; Pea Pickin' Ern Passes; Oil Embargo; Dullness; Naval War In Atlantic; Camus Gets Prize; Boredom Rampant

Today is Saturday, Oct. 17, the 290th day of 2009. There are 75 days left in the year. The UPI Almanac. Today's Highlight in History:
On Oct. 17, 1989, an earthquake measuring magnitude 7.1 struck northern California, killing 63 people and causing $6 billion worth of damage. (The quake hit just before Game 3 of the World Series between the Oakland Athletics and San Francisco Giants at Candlestick Park; the Series was suspended until Oct. 27, at which time the A's resumed their four-game sweep of the Giants.)
On this date:
In 1777, British forces under Gen. John Burgoyne surrendered to American troops in Saratoga, N.Y., in a turning point of the Revolutionary War.
In 1807, Britain declared it would continue to reclaim British-born sailors from American ships and ports regardless of whether they held U.S. citizenship.
In 1907, Guglielmo Marconi began offering limited commercial wireless telegraph service between Nova Scotia and Ireland.
In 1919, Radio Corporation of America was chartered.
In 1931, mobster Al Capone was convicted of income tax evasion. (Sentenced to 11 years in prison, Capone was released in 1939.)
In 1933, Albert Einstein arrived in the United States as a refugee from Nazi Germany.
In 1941, the U.S. destroyer Kearny was torpedoed by a German submarine off the coast of Iceland; 11 people died.
In 1945, Col. Juan Peron staged a coup, becoming absolute ruler of Argentina.
In 1957, French author Albert Camus was awarded the Nobel Prize in literature.

In 1973, Arab oil-producing nations announced they would begin cutting back oil exports to Western nations and Japan; the result was a total embargo that lasted until March 1974.
In 1978, President Jimmy Carter signed a bill restoring U.S. citizenship to Confederate President Jefferson Davis. {Fuck, he is the worst President ever! — Ed.]
Thirty years ago, in 1979, Mother Teresa of India was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. [Fucking evil Albanian Dwarf. — Ed.]
In 1987, First lady Nancy Reagan underwent a modified radical mastectomy at Bethesda Naval Hospital in Maryland.
In 1997, the remains of revolutionary Ernesto "Che" Guevara were laid to rest in his adopted Cuba, 30 years after his execution in Bolivia.
In 1999, the FBI reported that serious crimes reported to police declined for seventh straight year in 1998 and murder and robbery rates reached 30-year lows. Former nurse Orville Lynn Majors was convicted of murdering six patients at a western Indiana hospital; the jury deadlocked on a seventh count. (Majors is serving a 360-year prison sentence.)
In 2004, the Iraqi militant group of terror mastermind Abu Musab al-Zarqawi declared its allegiance to Osama bin Laden. Betty Hill, who claimed that she and her husband, Barney, had been abducted, examined and released by extraterrestrials in 1961, died in Portsmouth, N.H., at age 85.
In 2007, President Bush, raising Beijing's ire, presented the Dalai Lama with the Congressional Gold Medal and urged Chinese leaders to welcome the monk to Beijing.
In 2008, Wall Street ended a tumultuous week that turned out to be its best in five years. The Dow Jones industrial average lost 127 points, closing at 8,852.22, but turned in the strong week because of two huge days of gains — a record 936-point jump the previous Monday and an increase of 401 points on Thursday.
Today's Birthdays: Actress Marsha Hunt is 92. Actress Julie Adams is 83. Newspaper columnist Jimmy Breslin is 79. Country singer Earl Thomas Conley is 68. Singer Jim Seals (Seals & Crofts) is 67. Singer Gary Puckett is 67. Rock musician Michael Hossack is 63. Actor Michael McKean is 62. Actress Margot Kidder is 61. Actor George Wendt is 61. Actor-singer Bill Hudson is 60. Astronaut Mae Jemison is 53. Country singer Alan Jackson is 51. Movie critic Richard Roeper is 50. Movie director Rob Marshall is 49. Actor Grant Shaud is 49. Animator Mike Judge is 47. Rock singer-musician Fred LeBlanc (Cowboy Mouth) is 46. Actor-comedian Norm Macdonald is 46. Singer Rene' Dif is 42. Reggae singer Ziggy Marley is 41. Golfer Ernie Els is 40. Singer Chris Kirkpatrick ('N Sync) is 38. Rapper Eminem is 37. Singer Wyclef Jean is 37. Actress Sharon Leal is 37. Actor Matthew Macfadyen is 35.
Today In Entertainment History October 17
In 1915, playwright Arthur Miller was born in New York City.
Seventy years ago, in 1939, Frank Capra's comedy-drama "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington," starring James Stewart as an idealistic junior U.S. senator, had its premiere in the nation's capital.
In 1960, Dion and the Belmonts broke up.
In 1966, "Hollywood Squares" premiered on NBC.
In 1967, the musical "Hair" made its premiere off-Broadway.
In 1968, Jose Feliciano released his controversial rendition of the national anthem. He had originally performed it before a 1968 World Series game and was booed.
Forty years ago, in 1969, the American Federation of Musicians allowed The Kinks to tour the US It had banned the Kinks from playing in the US after the band appeared without permission on "Hullabaloo" in 1966.
In 1978, Frankie Valli hit number one with the title song from the movie "Grease."
Thirty years ago, in 1979, Fleetwood Mac's double album "Tusk" was released. It took two years to record and cost more than $1 million to produce. The album was only moderately successful when it came to sales.
In 1990, the country mother-daughter act, The Judds, announced they would no longer perform together because Naomi, the mother, had chronic hepatitis. Wynonna continued on as a solo act.
In 1991, singer Tennessee Ernie Ford died in Reston, Va., at the age of 72. He's probably best known for taking "Sixteen Tons" to the top of the pop and country charts in 1955.
In 2008, Four Tops frontman Levi Stubbs died in Detroit at age 72.
Thought for Today: "To talk to a child, to fascinate him, is much more difficult than to win an electoral victory. But it is also more rewarding." — Colette, French author (1873-1954).

Friday, October 16, 2009

Double Dose Of The Bottom Ten (Get Those Bets In!)


The Bottom Ten

New Mexico holds the top spot, but Rice and Miami (Ohio) are lurking.

By Steve Harvey
October 15, 2009
Tensions will be high among Bottom Ten teams this weekend, knowing that the first BCS standings will come out afterward. In this case, BCS stands for "Bowl Chump Series."

The No. 1 Lost Lobos of New Mexico are one of the main contenders for a place in the BT's projected reality show. One snag: NBC already stole the title "The Biggest Loser."

Elsewhere, officials at No. 6 Florida State denied rumors that Coach Bobby Bowden would step down and be replaced by Penn State's Joe Paterno.

Also, fans of the erratic No. 11 Cal Bears could be excused for wondering which Cal team will show up against UCLA on Saturday -- the Cal team that lost to Oregon, 42-3, a few weeks ago, or the Cal team that defeated Alabama, 13-0, in the 1938 Rose Bowl. Only time will tell.
Wreck, Record
Last Loss
Next Loss
1. New Mexico (0-6)
13-37, Wyoming
Nevada Las Vegas
2. Rice (0-6)
14-63, Navy
East Carolina
3. Miami (Ohio) (0-6)
6-16, Northwestern
Ohio (Ohio)
4. Purdon't (1-5)
20-35, Minnehaha
Ohio State
5. Ball State (0-6)
19-24, Temple
Bowling Green
6. Florida State (2-4)
44-49, Georgia Tech
North Carolina
7. Washington State (1-5)
14-27, Arizona State
8. Colorado (1-4)
14-38, Texas
9. Syracuse (2-4)
13-34, West Virginia
10. San Jose State (1-4)
25-29, Idaho
Fresno State
11. Cal (0-2) (in conference); 12. Utah State (1-4); 13. Florida International (1-4); 14. Vanderbilt (2-4); 15. Nevada (Las Vegas) (2-4); 16. Bowling Green (2-4); 17. Hawaii (2-3); 18. Out to lunch; 19. Maryland (2-4); 20. Texas at El Erratic Paso (2-4).
Rout of the week: Ohio State (5-1) over Purdon't (1-5).
Crummy game of the week: Bowling Green (2-4) vs. Ball State (0-6).
Copyright ©2009, The Los Angeles Times


Oakland Raiders score a rare touchdown

They take over No. 1 spot in weekly ranking of failing teams, but at least they provide some amusing moments.

By Steve Harvey
October 15, 2009
Sure, CBS analyst Boomer Esiason said the Raiders are the worst team in football the other day.

But they're making some progress. Against the Giants on Sunday, they even scored their first touchdown in 130 plays (their only touchdown of the game).

The Raiders are also among the best in the NFL when it comes to generating laughs. On one kickoff return Sunday, they were flagged for using a wedge formation. But no penalty was assessed because the Raiders returner had misjudged the kick and had been forced to chase it into the end zone, where he downed it for a touchback.

Speaking of offensive performances -- take that anyway you want -- the machine-like St. Louis Lambs tallied another 10 points, raising their average to 6.8 per game.

Remember those teams that fired their offensive coordinators in training camp (Buffalo, Kansas City and Grampa Bay)? Well they're a combined 1-14. And to those three, the Bottom Ten says, "Thank you."
Wreck (Record); Last Loss; Next Loss
1. Oakland (1-4); 7-44, N.J. Giants; Philadelphia
2. St. Louis (0-5); 10-38, Minnehaha; Jacksonville
3. St. Louis (0-3); Swept by Dodgers; Season Over
4. Grampa Bay (0-5); 14-33, Philadelphia; Carolina
5. Kansas City (0-5); 20-26, Dallas; Washington
6. Tennessee* (0-5); 7. Buffalo (1-4); 8. Jacksonville (2-3); 9. Carolina (1-3); 10. Washington (2-3).
*Best 0-5 team in football, though.
Rout of the week: Philadelphia (3-1) over Oakland (1-4).
Crummy game of the week: Carolina (1-3) vs. Grampa Bay (0-5).
Quotebook: CBS' Dan Marino, as he viewed clips from Cleveland's 6-3 victory over Buffalo: "Is this the NFL, guys?"
Easiest schedule of all time? The No. 10 Redskins are only 2-3 even though they have yet to take the field against a team with any victories, points out They opened against the Giants (who were 0-0, naturally) and next played the Rams (then 0-1), the Lions (then 0-2), the Bucs (then 0-3), and the Panthers (then 0-3). Next they play Kansas City (0-5).
Special citation: Dallas' defense was cited for being offside four times on one drive against Kansas City.
Copyright ©2009, The Los Angeles Times

Next: Sheep. Then: YOU!!

The Beeb advises us that independent thought & memory are soon to be done away w/.
Laser-controlled flies may be the latest addition to the neuroscientist's tool kit, thanks to a new technique.
Researchers have devised a way to write memories onto the brains of flies, revealing which brain cells are involved in making bad memories.

From The Civil, Decent, Polite Folks Of The Right: TITS!!! "Gigantic Tits," Even

We have a vague memory of the word "tits" being considered vulgar & obscene, and no more likely to appear in civil, let alone civic, discourse, or print, or anywhere, than "fuck" itself.

So much for the Kulturkampf & Family Values, rightists? Have you climbed off history, & are now athwart the streets,shouting "poopy-doodie-head" & "titties" at passers-by, like common Tourette's sufferers?

Special note to Southern Gentleman Robert Stacy McCain: "F***ing sh*t" is just the same as "fucking shit." No one is fooled, shitheel.

Patience Is A Virture, Which Is Its Own Reward

Fans of our re-purposing of The Bottom Ten will have to be virtuous, as the Chicago (Bankrupt) Times' website is currently as dead as the newspaper biz.

From The Blogroll

Max Blumenthal backstage (not literally) at MSNBC's Morning Joe.
Perhaps Joe’s civility was rooted in cluelessness; when I was announced on the set as “the YouTube Michael Moore,” Scarborough excitedly asked a producer if I was “the ACORN guy,” referring to James O’Keefe, the young right-wing activist whose hidden cameras prompted a congressional investigation into the Obama-linked community- organizing group. 
That's not all. Find out about Joe & Mika.

Further from the web log bog: Just Above Sunset does a fine job of recapping, linking & typing about it. (Better than we do. More time on his/her hands than ours? Not possible. Hmmm ...) We especially enjoyed today's: The decline of "White Culture," Limbaugh & the Rams, a link to a book review in the LAT we wouldn't have read in the off-line edition for a wk. or two,
WASP culture – with its dogs, shingled houses at the shore, pearls and sweating silver cocktail shakers – survives today as a kind of marketing tool, a commercially viable stylish nostalgia. Amusingly, its leading practitioners are a Polish Catholic woman, Martha Stewart — who evokes the relaxed but well-groomed domestic style of the Hamptons and Nantucket — and Ralph Lauren, the son of Russian Jewish immigrants named Lifshitz.


As Friend’s hockey player cousin Donny – who “shockingly” failed to gain admission to Yale – once said as they strolled by the Ralph Lauren window on Madison Avenue: “If Ralph really wants to get to the heart of Waspdom, he should do a whole window full of beakers of lithium and patients in white gowns.”
and more.

16 October: Marie Antoinette Beheaded; John Brown Attacks Federal Gov't.; Missile Crisis; ChiComs Get Bomb; Popery; Mets Miracle

Today is Friday, Oct. 16th, the 289th day of 2009. There are 76 days left in the year. The UPI Almanac.Today's Highlight in History:
On Oct. 16, 1859, radical abolitionist John Brown led a group of 21 men in a raid on Harpers Ferry in western Virginia, where they seized a US arsenal in hopes of sparking a slave revolt. (In the siege that followed, ten of Brown's men were killed and five escaped. Brown and six followers ended up being captured; all were executed.)
On this date:
In 1701, Yale University was founded.
In 1793, during the French Revolution, Marie Antoinette, the queen of France, was beheaded.
In 1868, America's first department store, ZCMI, opened in Salt Lake City.
One hundred years ago, in 1909, the Pittsburgh Pirates won the World Series, defeating the Detroit Tigers at Bennett Park in Game 7 by a score of 8-0.
In 1916, Margaret Sanger opened the first birth control clinic, in Brooklyn, N.Y. (The clinic ended up being raided by police and Sanger was arrested.)
In 1946, at Nuremberg, Germany, 10 high-ranking Nazi officials were executed by hanging for World War II war crimes. Hermann Goering, founder of the Gestapo and chief of the German air force, was to have been among them but he committed suicide in his cell the night before.
Fifty years ago, in 1959, American military leader and statesman George C. Marshall died in Washington, D.C. at age 78.
In 1962, the Cuban missile crisis began as President John F. Kennedy was informed that reconnaissance photographs had revealed the presence of missile bases in Cuba.
In 1964, China detonated its first atomic bomb.
In 1968, American athletes Tommie Smith and John Carlos sparked controversy at the Mexico City Olympics by giving "black power" salutes during a victory ceremony after they'd won gold and bronze medals in the 200-meter race.
Forty years ago, in 1969, the New York Mets capped their miracle season by winning the World Series, defeating the Baltimore Orioles, 5-3, in Game 5 played at Shea Stadium.
In 1970, Anwar Sadat was elected president of Egypt, succeeding the late Gamal Abdel Nasser.
In 1972, a light plane carrying House Democratic leader Hale Boggs of Louisiana and three other men was reported missing in Alaska. The plane was never found.
In 1973, Henry Kissinger and Le Duc Tho, who negotiated a cease-fire in the Vietnam War, were named winners of the Nobel Peace Prize; Tho declined the award.
In 1978, the College of Cardinals of the Roman Catholic Church chose Cardinal Karol Wojtyla to be the new pope; he took the name John Paul II.
In 1984, Anglican Bishop Desmond Tutu of South Africa was named winner of the Nobel Peace Prize.
In 1987, rescuers freed Jessica McClure, an 18-month-old girl who had been trapped in an abandoned well for 58 hours in Midland, Texas.
In 1991, a deadly shooting rampage took place in Killeen, Texas, as George Hennard opened fire at a Luby's Cafeteria, killing 23 people before taking his own life.
In 1995, a vast throng of black men gathered in Washington for the "Million Man March" led by Nation of Islam leader Louis Farrakhan.
In 1997, author James Michener died at age 90.
In 1998, David Trimble and John Hume were named recipients of the Nobel Peace Prize for brokering the Northern Ireland peace accord. British police arrested former Chilean dictator Augusto Pinochet in London.
In 1999, a 7.1-magnitude earthquake in the Mojave Desert shook three states and derailed an Amtrak train, but caused no serious damage or injuries. Hurricane Irene rumbled up the East Coast. A New York Air National Guard plane rescued Dr. Jerri Nielsen from a South Pole research center after she'd spent five months isolated by the Antarctic winter, which forced her to treat herself for a breast lump.
In 2002, the White House announced that North Korea had disclosed it had a nuclear weapons program. President George W. Bush signed a congressional resolution authorizing war against Iraq.
In 2004, the Soyuz spacecraft was forced to manually dock with the international space station after it closed in on the station at a dangerously high speed. Pierre Salinger, a journalist who'd served as press secretary in the Kennedy and Johnson administrations, died in Le Thon, France, at age 79. The World Health Organization said smoke from home stoves and fires in developing countries had become a major cause of death and disease. In a letter to fans on her Web site, homemaking guru Martha Stewart assured all she was adjusting to life in a West Virginia federal prison which she described as "like an old-fashioned college campus -- without the freedom, of course."
In 2006, U.S. intelligence officials confirmed an underground explosion in North Korea a week before was the test of a nuclear device. The explosive yield was reported less than 1 kiloton of conventional explosives.
In 2007, Iraqi officials said their investigation of the killing of Iraqi citizens by Blackwater USA, a private security firm under contract to the U.S. State Department indicated the shootings were unprovoked.
In 2008, the latest Gallup poll gave Democratic presidential nominee Barack Obama a 6-percentage-point nationwide lead over Republican nominee John McCain with less than a month before the election. U. S. Army Gen. David Petraeus was reported developing an assessment for strategy for Afghanistan, Iran, Iraq, Pakistan and surrounding regions. The assessment will aim toward a new campaign plan for the Middle East and Central Asia, where Petraeus will oversee military operations. Volatile Wall Street pulled off another stunning U-turn, transforming a 380-point loss for the Dow Jones industrials into a 401-point gain.
Today's Birthdays October 16: Actress Angela Lansbury is 84. Author Gunter Grass is 82. Former presidential adviser Charles W. Colson is 78. Actor-producer Tony Anthony is 72. Actor Barry Corbin is 69. Sportscaster Tim McCarver is 68. Rock musician C.F. Turner (Bachman-Turner Overdrive) is 66. Actress Suzanne Somers is 63. Rock singer-musician Bob Weir is 62. Producer-director David Zucker is 62. Record company executive Jim Ed Norman is 61. Actor Daniel Gerroll is 58. Actor Morgan Stevens is 58. Comedian-actor Andy Kindler is 53. Actor-director Tim Robbins is 51. Actor-musician Gary Kemp is 50. Singer-musician Bob Mould is 49. Actor Randy Vasquez is 48. Rock musician Flea (Red Hot Chili Peppers) is 47. Actor Todd Stashwick is 41. Jazz musician Roy Hargrove is 40. Actress Terri J. Vaughn is 40. Singer Wendy Wilson (Wilson Phillips) is 40. Rapper B-Rock (B-Rock and the Bizz) is 38. Rock singer Chad Gray (Mudvayne) is 38. Actress Kellie Martin is 34. Singer John Mayer is 32. Actor Jeremy Jackson is 29. Actress Brea Grant (TV: "Heroes") is 28.
Today In Entertainment History October 16:
In 1888, playwright Eugene O'Neill was born in New York City.
Seventy years ago, in 1939, the comedy "The Man Who Came to Dinner," by George S. Kaufman and Moss Hart, opened on Broadway.
In 1957, "You Send Me" by Sam Cooke was released. It was his first million-seller.
In 1967, Joan Baez and about 120 other anti-draft demonstrators were arrested for blocking the entrance to a military center in Oakland, Calif. They were jailed for 10 days.
In 1968, the New Yardbirds played their first concert at a club in London. They later changed their name to Led Zeppelin.
Forty years ago, in 1969, Leonard Chess died of a heart attack. He founded Chess Records with his brother Phil in the early 1950s.
In 1972, the members of Creedence Clearwater Revival announced they were breaking up.
In 1976, Stevie Wonder's album "Songs In The Key Of Life" was released.
In 1992, singer Sinead O'Connor was booed off the stage at a Madison Square Garden show honoring Bob Dylan's 30 years of music. The crowd was still reacting to O'Connor's appearance on Saturday Night Live" two weeks earlier, when she had torn up a picture of the pope.
In 1999, radio raconteur Jean Shepherd died on Sanibel Island, Fla., at age 78.
In 2003, Simon and Garfunkel reunited for their first concert tour in two decades, in Wilkes-Barre, Penn.
In 2007, Ellen DeGeneres opened her talk show in tears because she had adopted a dog and then given it to her hairdressers' daughters. The dog had been taken away by the adoption agency and DeGeneres felt bad for the girls.
Thought for Today: "What is time? The shadow on the dial, the striking of the clock, the running of the sand, day and night, summer and winter, months, years, centuries — these are but arbitrary and outward signs, the measure of Time, not Time itself. Time is the Life of the soul." — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, American poet (1807-1882). [All that changed, of course, w/ the advent of digital time-keeping. — Ed.]

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Political Activism Required: Help President Obama Turn AmeriKKKa Into A ☭Socialist Wonderland☭!

Fax or cable your Senators & Representatives immediately!

Obama proposes an extra one-time payment to Social Security recipients

President Obama urged Congress to provide an extra $250 each to about 57 million seniors, veterans and people with disabilities as the Social Security Administration prepared to announce today that there would be no cost-of-living raise in 2010.
Thank you. And you can be sure we'll put the money to good use.

Chickification Of "Men Who Do Things" By FemiNazis, Or: The Geeks Strike Back

Left-liberal fans of speculative fiction may get a larf from this screed*, coming to our attention from The Divine Mr. M., in the wilds to our north. (Farther, even, than The Valley.)
Mr. M. is divine enough to provide a rebuttal to Mr. (We kid you not:)  PRO-MALE/ANTI-FEMINIST TECH's screed.

Anyone willing to email this to DoughBob DumbPants for reaction?

*True afficionados of this variation on the formal rightist whine will note that P-M/A-F links to '70s Starbuck Dirk Benedict's Big Hose complaint box submission.

Dr. Krauthammer Finds The Prize In The Cracker Jack Box: Iraq!

The Doctor is in. Denial.
The operational consequences of voluntary contraction are already evident:


* In Iraq, a determination to end the war according to rigid timetables, with almost no interest in garnering the fruits of a very costly and very bloody success--namely, using our Strategic Framework Agreement to turn the new Iraq into a strategic partner and anchor for U.S. influence in the most volatile area of the world. Iraq is a prize--we can debate endlessly whether it was worth the cost--of great strategic significance that the administration seems to have no intention of exploiting in its determination to execute a full and final exit.

We think the real joke here is "HISTORY" on the Cracker Jack box. Must be where the evil doctor gets his history lessons, if his idea of good foreign policy is turning Free Prize of Great Strategic Significance Iraq (A sovereign nation, yes?) into Airstrip Two.
Below: Dr. K. in his yrs. working for the gov't.

Puritans: Leave Meghan McCain Alone!!

For heaven's sake, what is the matter w/ you people? There are few things more quintessentially American than someone trying to eke out a living & some attention using her father's name, her mother's looks, nature's bounty & a bottle of peroxide. How can anyone have a problem w/ this? But until she posts that first sex tape, let's take it easy on the "slut" accusations. (We'll be the judge of those.)
"You knew you were posting a nearly NSFW [not safe for work] photo, so don't pretend like you're surprised at people's reaction," commented melissajenna.

McCain sees it differently.

"[When] I am alone in my apartment, I wear tank tops and sweatpants, I had no idea this makes me a ‘slut’, I can't even tell you how hurt I am."
We hope you mean ass-holes are happy now that you've hurt this poor woman.

Editorial Note: Counting the hits now, baby!!

20/20 Hindsight

We had a suspicion that Junior wasn't in the balloon, & was possibly hiding out to avoid getting in some serious trouble for letting the balloon loose, even before we found out the family were wacky reality show publicity hounds.

More NYT-Picking

The Opinionator looks at Krauthammer's crap. Has Dr. Charles ever met an act of violence against non-white people of which he didn't approve? Not bloody likely.

We do wonder if the sick-assed (Shrink, shrink thyself, already!) Doctor of Dickery rides about in one of these on the wknd.

It would certainly be irresponsible not to speculate as to whether Dr. K.'s little diving accident left him w/ a permanently limp dick, & therefore that most of his war-mongering is compensation, displacement or whatever 99¢ Store pop psych term we can pull out of our kiester. Hell, it might even be true.

"Straight" Talk From Crazy Shelley

Oh, looky looky: The Old Gray Lady has noticed the middle-aged (& doubtless graying under that hair color) crazy lady Representative Michelle Bachmann (Paranoid-Bizarro World).

What have they typed about her? We're sure it's completely balanced & objective, aren't you? (Uh-oh, too quick to condemn: See fact-checking here. Unfortunately, the phrase "lying sack of shit" does not appear in the item.)

Facts we sort of knew:
 Ms. Bachmann’s district, stretching from the northern suburbs of the Twin Cities, through middle-income exurbs, farmland and into St. Cloud, is defined by social conservatism, an independent, populist streak, and a significant Roman Catholic population.
We didn't know Ms. Bachmann was dependent on an excess of Radio Controlled Roman Catholics. Figures. They'll believe anything.

Blah blah blah. A closer examination of Rep. Wack-Job's public wack (through May of this yr.).

15 October: Mata Hari Executed; Goering Dies; Laval Guillotined; "Lucy" Premieres; Khrushchev Ousted

Today is Thursday, Oct. 15, the 288th day of 2009. There are 77 days left in the year. The UPI Almanac.Today's Highlight in History:
Forty years ago, on Oct. 15, 1969, peace demonstrators staged activities across the country, including a candlelight march around the White House, as part of a "moratorium" against the Vietnam War.

On this date:
In 1858, the seventh and final debate between senatorial candidates Abraham Lincoln and Stephen Douglas took place in Alton, Ill.
In 1860, 11-year-old Grace Bedell of Westfield, N.Y., wrote a letter to presidential candidate Abraham Lincoln, suggesting he could improve his appearance by letting his whiskers grow.
In 1914, the Clayton Antitrust Act was signed into law by President Woodrow Wilson.
In 1917, Dutch dancer Mata Hari, convicted of spying for the Germans, was executed by a French firing squad outside Paris.
In 1928, the German dirigible Graf Zeppelin landed in Lakehurst, N.J., completing its first commercial flight across the Atlantic.
In 1945, the former premier of Vichy France, Pierre Laval, was executed for treason.
In 1946, Nazi war criminal Hermann Goering fatally poisoned himself hours before he was to have been executed.

In 1964, it was announced that Soviet leader Nikita S. Khrushchev had been removed from office.
In 1966, President Lyndon Johnson signed a bill creating the Department of Transportation.
In 1976, in the first debate of its kind between vice-presidential nominees, Democrat Walter F. Mondale and Republican Bob Dole faced off in Houston.
In 1989, Wayne Gretzky of the Los Angeles Kings surpassed Gordie Howe's NHL career scoring record of 1,850 points.
In 1990, Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev was named the winner of the Nobel Peace Prize. South Africa's Separate Amenities Act, which had barred blacks from public facilities for decades, was scrapped.
In 1991, the Senate narrowly confirmed the nomination of Clarence Thomas to the Supreme Court, 52-48.
In 1993, Nelson Mandela and F.W. de Klerk were named winners of the Nobel Peace Prize for their efforts to end apartheid in South Africa.
In 1999, the humanitarian group Doctors Without Borders was named winner of the Nobel Peace Prize.
In 2002, ImClone Systems founder Sam Waksal pleaded guilty in New York in the biotech company's insider trading scandal. (He was later sentenced to more than seven years in prison.)
In 2003, China launched its first manned space mission. Eleven people were killed when a Staten Island ferry slammed into a maintenance pier. (The ferry's pilot, who'd blacked out at the controls, later pleaded guilty to 11 counts of manslaughter and was sentenced to 18 months in prison.)
In 2004, the FDA ordered that all antidepressants carry strong warnings that they "increase the risk of suicidal thinking and behavior" in children who take them. Several thousand people opposed to gay marriage gathered on the National Mall in Washington to call for a constitutional amendment defining marriage as being between a man and a woman.
In 2005, Iraqis voted to approve a constitution.
In 2008, Republican John McCain repeatedly assailed Democrat Barack Obama's character and campaign positions on taxes, abortion and more in a debate at Hofstra University; Obama parried each accusation, and leveled a few of his own, saying "100 percent" of McCain's campaign ads were negative. The Philadelphia Phillies beat the Los Angeles Dodgers 5-1 to win the NLCS 4-1 for the team's first pennant since 1993.
Today's Birthdays: Former auto executive Lee Iacocca is 85. Jazz musician Freddy Cole is 78. Singer Barry McGuire is 74. Actress Linda Lavin is 72. Actress-director Penny Marshall is 67. Rock musician Don Stevenson (Moby Grape) is 67. Baseball Hall of Famer Jim Palmer is 64. Singer-musician Richard Carpenter is 63. Actor Victor Banerjee is 63. Tennis player Roscoe Tanner is 58. Singer Tito Jackson is 56. Actor-comedian Larry Miller is 56. Actor Jere Burns is 55. Actress Tanya Roberts is 54. Movie director Mira Nair is 52. Britain's Duchess of York, Sarah Ferguson, is 50. Chef Emeril Lagasse is 50. Rock musician Mark Reznicek (The Toadies) is 47. Actress Vanessa Marcil is 41. Singer-actress-TV host Paige Davis is 40. Actor Dominic West is 40. Singer Eric Benet is 39. R&B singer Ginuwine is 39. Actor Chris Olivero is 30. Christian singer-actress Jaci Velasquez is 30. R&B singer Keyshia Cole is 28. Tennis player Elena Dementieva is 28.
Today In Entertainment History October 15
In 1951, the situation comedy "I Love Lucy," starring Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz, premiered on CBS. It ran until mid-1957.
In 1955, "Grand Ole Opry" made its TV debut on ABC. Buddy Holly opened a show for Elvis Presley in Lubbock, Texas.
Fifty years ago, in 1959, the crime show "The Untouchables" made its debut on ABC. The program was based on the real-life exploits of Eliot Ness and his squad of Treasury agents.
In 1964, composer Cole Porter died at age 73.
In 1971, Rick Nelson was booed when he performed new material at an oldies show in New York. It inspired him to write the song "Garden Party."
In 1976, Ike and Tina Turner split up as a musical act.
In 1977, Fleetwood Mac released "Rumours," one of the best-selling albums of all time.
In 1987, Grateful Dead frontman Jerry Garcia opened a sold-out two-week run of solo shows on Broadway.
In 1996, drummer Tommy Lee of Motley Crue was charged with attacking a tabloid TV cameraman. The photographer was trying to take pictures of Lee and his wife, actress Pamela Anderson Lee, outside a nightclub in suburban Los Angeles.
In 1999, Irish tenor Josef Locke, whose life inspired the 1992 film "Hear My Song," died in County Kildare, Ireland, at age 82.
In 2002, musician Ryan Adams jumped into the audience at a show in Nashville to find a fan who had yelled out a request for "Summer of '69," a Bryan Adams song. Adams gave the fan $30 as a refund and refused to continue the show until the man left.
In 2007, Drew Carey took over as host for "The Price Is Right," replacing Bob Barker, who hosted the show for more than 35 years.
In 2008, pop star Madonna and movie director Guy Ritchie announced they were divorcing after nearly eight years of marriage. Actress-singer Edie Adams died in Los Angeles at age 81. Longtime game show host Jack Narz died in Los Angeles at age 85.
Thought for Today: "We used to do things for posterity, now we do things for ourselves and leave the bill to posterity." — Anonymous.