The American People: Too Stupid to Know Whom to Hate Unless Hollywood Tells Them

Sure, you'd think an outright "AmeriKKKans are dicks & I hate them" statement like that was coming from the left (We're pretty much the only "left" left, what w/ our former comrades selling out to corporate bail-out interests & centrist Obama. Not only do we hate AmeriKKKans, we think they're stupid dicks!)

But the title's bit of a fudge, a "shorter," if you will. The sentiment? 

Hollywood is no longer an American industry. And it took a prolonged war in which the studios and most of the stars didn't show up to fight for America to draw attention to this hard truth.

American corporations, the FBI, the CIA and elected U.S. officials are the bad guys in flicks these days. Radical Islamists are seldom vilified while the Army, Navy, Air Force and Marines are smeared too often.

Boy Howdy, ain't that the truth!! Why, Real America will never got over its mad infatuation w/ Osama bin Laden until Hollywood makes a few movies pointing out what a douchebag he is. 

And wouldn't you know it, someone is going to turn Hollywood around single-handedly! Who, you ask? Who will save us from Sean Penn & Meryl Streep? Why, it's Andrew Breitbart, who seems to run a low-rent, West Coast version of the Drudge Report. And he's going to do it w/ a website! (Maybe someone should mention to him that this whole "movie" thing is about to go the way of the recording industry, & if he wants to teach AmeriKKKans whom to hate he might try getting into this "new media" crap we keep hearing about. But that would spoil our fun.)

It's called "Big Hollywood." Box office receipts? It's got 'em.

In the period since Sept. 11, 2001, international box office receipts have steadily exceeded domestic numbers. Film financing now usually begins with international investors and creative decisions are crafted to geopolitical sensibilities rarely simpatico with our own.

Big Hollywood box office analyst Steve Mason will explore these trends and be the first national reporter to crunch the movie numbers throughout the week. Politicians need to pay attention to the results as close as studio executives. Or elections beware.

"Elections beware" indeed. We're guessing that if Breitbart doesn't trust the great unwashed American public to hate appropriately w/o instruction, he certainly would be opposed to free elections. Maybe some scripts dealing w/ the horrors of democracy ("Elected uh whut?") will come out of Big Hollywood & its appeal to the secret fascists w/in Hollywood. (Screenplays are all we'll ever see out of this, as the chance of any heavy-handed horseshit from these morons getting "greenlit" is slim to none, as the "creative decisions" are not "crafted to geopolitical sensibilities rarely simpatico with our own," but are more along the lines of: "more car chases & shit blowing up, less lines of already cliched dialogue we'll just have to spend money dubbing."

Hidden amid the "dissent is patriotic" glitterati are thousands of deeply concerned artists and industry players who have mostly privately and sadly watched Hollywood reflect ideals that are not their own.

Non-left-leaning writers, producers, directors and "below the line" members of the creative community will slowly begin to tell "flyover country" that their values are shared - even in glitzy Los Angeles. In fact, to foreshadow its big message, Big Hollywood will be an invitation to aspiring conservatives to drop their political dreams for the grueling Hollywood grind.

No shit. Hollywood's "values" (profit) are so out of touch w/ Real America that there were no movie ticket purchases over the holidays. Not a DVD has been rented or purchased since 2004. The only telebision channels watched any more are RFD-TV & CMT. "Non-left-leaning," (i. e., un-creative, authoritarian-mind set) writers, producers & directors are going to cure this problem. Sure they are. Because "patrotism" means following orders, not dissenting. 

And here's the real story behind Breitbart & his "Big Hollywood:" 

Most heartbroken by this cultural and financial sea change are those who ply in the powerful trade of make-believe, who got into show business, for among other reasons, to carry on Hollywood's patriotic mission. It's hard to believe, but not everyone in the business thinks Sean Penn is a gonzo genius.

Most people who can tell about these things do think that Mr. Penn is a pretty good actor, if not a genius (Can that be applied to play-acting?) & let his political peccadilloes go. It would be nice if that worked for the rightists of Hollywood, but as we said, most of them being of the authoritarian mind-set, they just aren't that good w/ thinking for themselves, coming up w/ anything not tired, hackneyed & traditional. And we can be damn sure no one thinks Breitbart is a genius, or even a typist. (For example, one "plies" a trade or business. One does not "ply" in the [...] trade of." This colorful misuse of language may indicate he's not as authoritarian as he is just stupid. 

And we can feel the stupid rising. The final example:

If conservatives don't figure out popular culture soon, the movement will die a deserving death. If Hollywood liberals can't learn how to play well with those with whom they disagree, Big Hollywood will have a field day at their close-minded and intolerant expense. The days of open bullying in the marketplace of ideas are nearing their end.

Consider this a warning.

Editor in Chief John Nolte is veteran of the film blog world, and a director in his own right. His love of the best of Hollywood - yes, there still is great product - will keep the readers and the writers enthusiastic about the future.

I will be writing and recruiting like the madman that I am.

Hollywood may not be completely anti-American yet, but it is certainly no longer pro-American. And no one has put up a public fight to change that.

Until now.

Oooh, what a bad ass!! (How many Jolly Rogers on his blog?) No more "open bullying." They'll be keeping it on the down low from here on. Once they issue the stern warning.