Saturday, June 21, 2008

Things That Do Worry Us a Bit

Although some forecasting groups continue to debate whether or not the economy is heading into a recession, these numbers should make it perfectly clear that the state is already in a recession," Beacon Economics, a Los Angeles-based research firm, said in an analysis of the jobless data. "The only question now is, how long and how bad will it be?"
Yeah, wise up, dipsticks, we're in the proverbial toilet, the only remaining question is, "How long until the flush sends us all down the pipes?"

"Absolutely, it's getting worse," said Debbie Smith, who worked as an office manager for a real estate magazine publishing company in Ventura before being laid off last September. "There's nothing out there, believe me."

Smith said she had only one strong job possibility in the last nine months, but "it fell through, I think, because I'm 54."

How old was that? Oh, the very same age as your editor, & many of his friends & acquaintances. What do you know about that? Life begins at forty, & so does the opportunity to sue on the basis of age discrimination. Let's make it worse, here's the entire sidebar concerning Ms. Smith:

Over 50, in a jam that's 'hopeless and desolate'

Debbie Smith is a victim of California's real estate meltdown.In September, she lost her job as an office manager and marketing assistant for a chain of magazines that showcased available homes and acreage. Smith, 54, of Port Hueneme, hit all the online job sites hard but came up with nothing but responses from "bogus recruiters" seeking her personal information.

Money got tight. Smith lost her home to foreclosure and moved into a rental with her son. After her unemployment benefits ran out, Smith began selling her belongings on the Internet and baby-sat her grandchildren for $20 a day

"To me, it's hopeless and desolate," she said. "Anybody over 50 is going to struggle for a long time and end up working at Mickey D's."-- Marc Lifsher

And, unlike others stuck in her age cohort (That would be us.) she's not even suffering from depression, etc. Though that should follow soon. And the people at the fucking Mental Health Day Care for Adults want us to go to some fucking group therapy session entitled "Positive Thinking." Magical Thinking would be more like it, if you're expecting the disturbed to believe that everything's coming up roses. There's a reason we're disturbed, & it's this society, & your world we didn't ask to be born into. (Yes, it's all about us. Don't for 30 seconds try to pretend it's not all about you, either!)

That About Which We Could Not Possibly Care Any Fucking Less

Stone Temple Pilots.

Friday, June 20, 2008

We're Havin' an A-War/A Nuclear A-War

Alternate title: "Let's You & Him Fight!" Saber-rattling time (again) at the O. K. Corral. (Mix those metaphors!)
The United States protested the Israeli strike against Iraq in 1981, but its comments in recent months have amounted to an implicit endorsement of the Israeli strike in Syria. Pentagon officials said that Israel’s air forces usually conducted a major early summer training exercise, often flying over the Mediterranean or training ranges in Turkey where they practice bombing runs and aerial refueling. But the exercise this month involved a larger number of aircraft than had been previously observed, and included a lengthy combat rescue mission.
What's the scenario now? This happens before the election, or just before Bush & Cheney leave office, just ahead of the sheriff w/ an eviction notice?

Marlboro Man/Male Model

Due to circumstances & systems beyond our control, we are currently unable to imbed videos. Please click directly to Fire Megan McArdle to look at a funny one. Yet it's not supposed to be funny. Ah, schadenfreude.

Flip-Flop Is Such an Ugly Term

John Sidney McCain III, & more of his position changes. By two commies. (They might both be Jooos too, which makes this comment even more amusing.)
As long as he's not an anti-white, anti-semitic racist he has my vote. I'm shocked to find myself voting Republican, but I cannot stomach racism, and I believe BO is a perfect example of it. Submitted by: Amelia
You believe Amelia might be indulging in a little sexism because of perceived attacks on Sen. Clinton?

Summertime, & the Livin' Is Sweaty

Summer will be here at 1659 PDT, though it seems to have arrived a day early. Temps in the triple digits in, as we said, the less-sophisticated (i. e., farther from the coast) areas of the Southland. Cooling centers are open, for wretches sans air conditioning or giant blocks of ice, Mayor Cheat-On-His-Wife opened the L. A. City public pools yesterday, old people are warned to vegetate, rather than to do anything, all mad dogs have already been euthanized by Animal Control, & Englishmen are cooling off at Ye Olde King's Head, even closer to the beach than the library. Let's hear how it snowed & was cold & icy in some areas last N. Hemisphere winter, so climate change is a hoax. Come on, you know you want to say it. Also, Bugger™ has scheduled yet another outage today, this one @ 1500, which is fast approaching. We'll see how long this one lasts.

Bobo Removees Head from Hidey-Hole, Wipes Doody from Eyes

Apparently the author & columnist has done a bit of research & thinking, or perhaps an intern or the like pointed to the obvious. "Gee, Mr. Brooks, Senator Obama's a politician like everyone else running for president. Who'd have thought that?"
And Fast Eddie Obama didn’t just sell out the primary cause of his life. He did it with style. He did it with a video so risibly insincere that somewhere down in the shadow world, Lee Atwater is gaping and applauding.
Is Bobo implying that Lee Atwater's immortal human soul is currently residing in the theological place of eternal damnation? Brooksie does imply that the CommiesRooskies are still the number one threat to the American Way of Life.
If we’re going to have a president who is going to go toe to toe with the likes of Vladimir Putin, maybe it is better that he should have a ruthlessly opportunist Fast Eddie Obama lurking inside.
Really, what is it w/ these people? They screech for hours about "individual initiative," "entrepreneurialism" & the "free market." And, of course, how high taxes for the lucky &/or pre-privileged will destroy American enterprise. But if someone is perceived as a good speaker, inspirational, blah, blah, blah, is pimped by the media & so seizes that opportunity (uses some individual entrepreneurial initiative, that is) & decides to run for president while the iron is hot, he's a Hillary Clinton, filled w/ nothing but blind Chicago-style ambition. John McCain isn't an opportunist? Since the Bush/Rove machine ran him out of the primaries w/ a sack full of lies eight years ago, he's been sitting around pretending to be a maverick, awaiting his turn to be president mostly on the basis that the press loves him. Thrown any of his "primary causes" under the bus? Um, lessee, campaign reform (Imagine that!) & immigration come to mind immediately. Whatta ya know?

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Now We Hate Slate

Not just for Mickey Kaus, either. (Look, he's discussing the same baggy pants Muse Megan is!! But she sort of knows what she's talking about. Certainly in comparison to the Mick.) To keep us from losing it (any more than we already have) by only having the L. A. fishwrapper to steal fromcomment on, we subscribe to Slate's "Today's Papers" feature, to know what other giants of the industry are saying. (Giants in question: NYT, WaPo, WSJ & USA Today.) So we figgered we'd subscribe to another of Slate's services, a daily web log round-up. No sooner had we signed up than they stopped sending it; there's just too much hot action in the blog-o-sphere for them to keep up w/, they said. And one other thing they 'll send to your in-box: A daily political piece from their stable of typists. Here is today's in its entirety:
Obamamania: The English language, Barackafied Introducing Obamamania! A new Slate book and a daily dose of Obamaisms. By Chris Wilson Updated Thursday, June 19, 2008, at 2:54 PM ET Since Slate first launched its Encyclopedia Baracktannica in February, more than 800 readers have written in with their own Obamaisms, from "Barack Ness Monster" to "Post-Baracalyptic." The best of these entries, along with Slate's original Obama neologisms, are collected in a new book: Obamamania! The English Language, Barackafied, available June 24. In conjunction with the publication of the book, we will be publishing a new Obamaism every morning and adding it to the Obamamania widget below, which you can add to your Facebook or MySpace profile or Web site. Today's Obamaism: Obamalaise (oh-BAH-ma-LEYZ) n. The emotional hangover resulting from repeatedly watching "Yes We Can" montages. Example: Though they are reluctant to criticize him publicly, aides blame for the increasing Obamalaise in the You Tube-watching demographic.
Slate is very, very lucky this isn't costing Just Another Blog™ any fucking money. Though our time is precious as well.

Sweatin' Like A Pig to the Oldies

In Southern Cali, summer is already here, several days early. Be ready for six months of whining about the heat from this reporter. It's already hitting over 100 Fahrenheit in less sophisticated areas, & even here at the S. M. Central Library, a mere six blocks, strip of parkland & a coastal highway from the beach it's almost insufferable outside. As our usual hot months are Sept. & Oct., this seems an obvious indication of climate change, & not for the good, either. Bugger™ has skedded an "outage" for 1400 today, so y'all may not be seeing us again until tomorrow. And we quote:
Blogger will be unavailable Thursday (6/19) at 2:00PM PDT for about 10 minutes for maintenance.
WTF? Can't they do this at 0330 or something, when the janitors are working? Oddly enough, the local Google™ operation occupies one quarter of the block this library is on. (Verizon has the other quarter. It's the hi-tech center of SaMo.) Maybe we'll go over & ask, or just heave a rock through some glass on general principles.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

W/ Bated Breath

John Sidney McCain III's former evangelical endorser, Pastor John Hagee, firmly believes the non-existent Gawd made a pre-emptive hurricane strike against New Orleans in 2005 because there was going to be a gay parade that would be, per "Heart-Attack" Hagee at least, the naughtiest ever. Here in the Golden State tensions are mounting. If Gawd didn't set off the San Andreas fault and burn WeHo to the ground last month at the very moment the California State Supreme Court's momentous decision was announced, what horrifying, blood-curdling punishment awaits us from the vengeful war gawd of the Hebrews now that the "Sodomites" have dissed Him good by taking out licenses & marrying each other? Sacred hetero-marriage itself seems to have withstood the onslaught. No indication in the L. A. Times, at least, that any of yesterday's same-sex marriages (insert old joke here) were performed in a church or otherwise religious setting, although the liberal bias of the Times is evident throughout the story (meaning that there was no call for the deaths of any one involved in any of this). We can therefore assume that the liberal media is covering up the weakening of "sacred" institutions. And while the Times crowed gleefully that well over 2,300 licenses had been issued yesterday, as opposed to the usual average of 460 per June wkdy., it neglected to mention how many divorce suits were filed yesterday. Where's the most hitching going on? (I. e., which cities should Gawd-fearing non-Sodomites vacate ASAP?) Before we tell you, be advised that you're probably safe in Bakersfield. Between the County Clerk & Bakersfield Citizens Opposed to Obscenity and Lewdness, you should be safe, but make like a Mormon & have a couple yrs. of canned goods in the pantry just in case. Chances are good, however, that even residents of the various Neo-Sodoms in our midst will be struck down no matter where they flee, especially should they look back on the devastation, Lot's Wife stylee. (Hey, any of you bible scholars out there know her name or if she even had one? We always hear "Lot's wife," but she never has an identity of her own – no surprise, really, w/ the patriarchal bullshit of the bible – but the story would be much more effective if we knew her as a person rather than merely another of Lot's holdings.) Then you may be forced to do it w/ your daughters to continue the human race, or something. (Just why was that necessary, anyway? They weren't the last humanoids left, were they? It wasn't one of those Adam & SteveEve deals where everyone had to poke their siblings, if not their own offspring, to get our sad little species of frightened primates going, was it?) Your number is probably up already if you are a resident of any of these Sodomite-tolerating communities:
Among the biggest meccas for same-sex couples were the courthouse in Beverly Hills, a makeshift wedding center in a West Hollywood park, the clerk's office in Norwalk and San Francisco City Hall. On the Los Angeles City Hall lawn, City Council President Eric Garcetti presided at a wedding of two women, Shane Goldsmith and Monica Granados, who met and fell in love while working in his office.
Run!! Run like hell!!!

What the Thirteen Worst Dressed Cars Will Be Wearing This Year

P. S.: If you're picky & want to read these, click to enlarge.

Sports Update: Lakers Bandwagon Crashes, Burns in Bumfuck by the Bay

We had been about to climb on the Lakers bandwagon, whooping & hollering all the way, but cooler heads prevailed, fortunately. Now that the BoSox are the reigning World Champions & the Boston Leprechauns are the best in the NBA, we can only effusively thank the New York Jints for soundly beating the cheating, illegally spying New England Patriots (Hey, has anyone else noted this? PATRIOT Act, illegal espionage, etc., and the Patriots football team illegally spying on their opponents?) in this year's Stupor Bowl. St. Nick on a stick, if the Pats had won that & Beantown were literally on top of the world of American sports...Well, the mind boggles. People from Bosstown are already insufferable.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Faith, Fuel & Fuckwads

They never stop. Nor do they come up w/ anything original. (Nor do we. This is from the LAT.)
One pastor, Ed Black of Arena Christian Church in Lincoln, Calif., told his flock on his blog Sunday that the car -- and the fuel it rode in on -- might be one of the roots of modern society's ills. "With the invention of the car," Black wrote, "young men would change the dating scene, picking up girls, and taking them away from their parents, without supervision, dropping [them] off later after who knows what went on."
They've been against the modern world since before it became modern. Kinda like the Moooooslims, who are having trouble as well. You'd think one of those fellers who wears his tablecloth on his head over there in the Middle East could find a few spare dinars to help his brethren get to the mosque five times a day.
At the Islamic Center of Southern California, it was common before the surge in gasoline prices to see people visit five times a day to find fellowship and pray. Now, coordinator Ahmed Mohamed says, many people come "just two or three times a day and sometimes less. They can't afford to drive here as often. I've never seen anything like it."
Condemned to hell by oil profits. Kissing gawd's ass five times a day is important, but the kids aren't going to overrun both the non-breeding Xtians & whiteys in general if they can't eat something.
The problem is affecting even the holy business, driving down attendance at churches, synagogues and mosques. Religious leaders are struggling to help their members cope, spinning new themes about a society that has become almost sinfully reliant on motorized transport.
The vast Just Another Blog (From L. A.)™ empire is proud to have eschewed owning or operating motorized transport since it had to drive the car of a girlfriend who was overloaded on 'ludes sometime in the early '80s.
At the St. Paul Evangelical Lutheran Church in Valley City, Ohio, Pastor D. Murawski's message Sunday was simple. By all means, cut back on your driving but not your driving to church. "Yes, it may be more difficult at the end of the month to pay our bills and fill our tanks," he wrote on the church's website, "but one thing that hasn't diminished one iota is the commitment of God to love you, forgive you, and watch over you."
We fail to see any commitment to "love, forgive, & watch over" any one, if the pastor (sheep herder) has to beg people to continue to come to church to kiss Holy Ass.
In houses of worship nationwide, preachers are railing against the forces of energy evil, and congregations are praying for lower fuel prices.
Three reactions to that & we're history. 1) There is no gawd, & if there ever had been one, it's sure as fuck dead now. 2) "You cannot petition the Lord with prayer." 3) Even if it existed & were answering your prayers, you don't really believe gawd could do anything to stop the oil cos., do you?

Lazy (Or Not)

Look for (don't look for) fewer (any) items here for a day or two. It's all good, not to worry.

Better Late Than Never, But Never Better Late

There's a reason we refer to ourself as "The Editor" most of the time, rather than as a "reporter." We're just made for sitting at a devil-box criticizing people for their own good, as opposed to doing anything, or working, or chasing down a story, or exerting any effort whatever concerning anything at all. Case in point: Last night's big deal Scott McClellan book-pimping "event" at the nearby Barnes & Ignoble, which we mentioned in this very space, & then stated we would attend, implying, at least some sort of informative report on Mr. McClellan's event. Well, we did, but even though we'd been sitting in the three-level chain bookstore for a good hour before reading pulp sci-fi from the '30s, we managed to be late to said event. Here's the criticism part: Because every single retail establishment on the Third Street Promenade (For those who don't know: the City of Santa Monica closed four blocks of, yes, its own Third Street to vehicular traffic, making an instant mall, w/ what passes for "upscale retail" in middle-class America having taken over what once were no doubt failing Mom-&-Pop businesses.) has closed its restrooms (Guess who they don't want using the facilities?) one must leave the Promenade & wander through an already piss-soaked alley to a City parking structure to answer nature's call. And by the time we'd returned from pre-event bathroom (Caused by a "venti" coffee @ the Starbucks inside the B&N to prevent our collapsing on our face during the "event") & nicotine breaks, the author reading room at B&N was jam-up & jelly-tight, & we were unable to get any nearer than two people away from the door. Which was fine while Mr. McClellan was speaking, but once question time started, we were unable to hear the questions, & Scott kept going off mic to answer them. So, in our dedication to duty, we just gave the hell up & went back to the Northwest Smith story collection we'd been perusing. Not that we'd expected to hear (let alone actually learn) anything new. And what we did hear of Puffy McMoonface's talk was the same old same old that's already been bandied about the webs, radio, dead-tree media, etc. I. e., who gives a shit, really? It should be obvious by now that we don't.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Pen & Sword One Thing, Ball Point & Gun Quite Another

Per Robert Mugabe, anyway. He's quite the resistance fighter, holding off the Western-allied so-called Movement for Democratic Change in an effort to keep his righteous revolutionary movement going. (And the $$$ pouring into his Swiss bank account.)

We shed a lot of blood for this country. We are not going to give up our country for a mere X on a ballot. How can a ball point pen fight with a gun?" the Herald, a government mouthpiece, quoted Mugabe as saying.
Gotta love it when the AP identifies the newspaper as a "mouthpiece."
Below: Mugabe Going through the motions.

Blackwater Worldwide Update

Blackwater Worldwide expert Jeremy Scahill op-eds in the LAT today that BW has essentially wormed its way into the structure of the "defense community," is looking to become a vital part of the "Secure Borders" myth, & is offering its espionage services to the gummint & (You guessed it!) Fortune 1000 corporations. And it won't matter who's in the House of Whiteness after noon on 20 January 2009. Never forget the "War on Drugs," either. (You think the "Global War on Terror" is "The Long War?" Think again.)
Blackwater was asked by the Pentagon to bid for a share of a whopping $15-billion contract to "fight terrorists with drug-trade ties" in countries such as Colombia, Bolivia, Afghanistan and Uzbekistan. Analysts say it could be the company's "biggest job" ever.
How long 'til their bully-boys are breaking down doors in your neighborhood, under some sort of contractual deal that limits their liability & your Constitutional rights? Go ahead & hold your breath, because it won't be that long.

Bush Admin Wrap-Up

(Don't we wish the entire sordid mess were wrapped up, w/ those who deserve it in the prisons where they belong.) Cheney Lies, No Surprise Dick Vader caught w/ foot in mouth & hands in Big Oil's pocket again.

Vice President Dick Cheney, in a speech Wednesday to the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, picked up the refrain. Cheney quoted a column by George Will, who wrote last week that "drilling is under way 60 miles off Florida. The drilling is being done by China, in cooperation with Cuba, which is drilling closer to South Florida than U.S. companies are."

In his speech, Cheney described the Chinese as being "in cooperation with the Cuban government. Even the communists have figured out that a good answer to higher prices means more supply."

"But Congress says no to drilling in ANWR, no to drilling on the East Coast, no to drilling on the West Coast," Cheney added.

Excuse the hell out of us here on the left Coast for not wanting massive oil spills on our beaches. What a bunch of tree-hugging fairies we are.

The next day:

Cheney's office said in a statement to The Associated Press that the vice president had erred.

"It is our understanding that, although Cuba has leased out exploration blocks 60 miles off the coast of southern Florida, which is closer than American firms are allowed to operate in that area, no Chinese firm is drilling there," according to the statement.

Will this give Darth Cheney an excuse to attack Cuba now, in a pathetic last ditch attempt to curry favor w/ the crypto-fascist Cuban refugee-voters who've been ruining South Florida & Jersey for the last forty yrs.?

Scott McClellan to Lie or Tell the Truth in Santa Monica Tonight When Scott McClellan's book finally dropped (thus say the kids) the RW talking point was: "Who is this? I don't recognize him. This isn't the Scott McClellan I know," ad nauseum. Perhaps they can only recognize him when he's spinning or outright repeating the lies he was told to tell, but can't recognize him when he's telling the truth. Decide for yourself tonight at the Barnes & Ignoble on the Third Street Promenade @ Wilshire Blvd. in Santa Monica tonight @1900, when Mr. Mc. will be reading, signing & answering questions. This reporter may even be there. Look for the homeless weasel w/ a greasy ponytail & a black messenger bag stuffed w/ junk. Compare to the illustration at right for confirmation, but please, no autographs!!

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Ocular Knitting Needles Wanted

You may remember the Maggie Gyllenhall whoringadvertising underwear pix we were running last yr. Or you may remember the "Alien" photo of Posh we ran. (Sadly, we don't remember when, & can't remember what we wrote, so we can't search for it.) Here are the two ladies together, at their very best. Photo: Retna

That About Which We Could Not Possibly Care Any Fucking Less

1. Fathers Day (No father.) 2. Flag Day (No flagpole.) 3. Most other "Days" (No Valentine, for example.) 4. Most days, period. (Just plain apathy.)