Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Mental Health/Illness Manifesto Rant/Rave

It was some published shrink (R. D. Laing?) who wrote that mental "health" was defined by society. Here's my take, in the first person singular, so you'll know I mean it. I'm not interested. I'm not interested in being a "healthy" member of your unhealthy, death-worshipping culture. I'm not interested in being a member of your "community," which means only sucking up to you & playing the same fucking political games that I can't play (I wouldn't be in this situation in the first place if I could, would I?) in the"real" world either. I'm not interested in being in "groups" where the truly deranged go off on tangents & I get nothing but more hopelessness & despair. I'm not interested in having to attend your bullshit chapel services to get a meal or a cot. (Stop preying on the ruined & hopeless, religious assholes. Take your fucking missionary work to the wealthy, successful & popular, see how far your exploitation goes there!) I'm not interested in receiving charity from wealthy women (that's the alliterative form, the rhyming form is "rich bitches") attempting to use up their spare time, & assuage their guilt for prostituting themselves to men who lie, cheat, steal & murder to achieve success & buy trophy wives in this world of liars, cheaters, murderers & thieves. It's entirely about how much better they feel about themselves after "helping" poor unfortunates. Stick your day old bread from overpriced, pretentious Westside restaurants up your various wretched holes! I am not interested in waiting in lines for food or shelter, nor am I interested in waiting on lists for yrs. & yrs & yrs. for transitional or permanent shelter. I am not interested in being a wage-slave to a corporation that will pay me a wage (even though it's a $ or two an hour over the so-called minimum wage) that will not allow me to live alone, w/ a tiny amount of creature comfort, in this city of shit & pain. Especially when said corporation's managers will treat me like a piece of shit. It's not enough that your humanity is destroyed by the crummy wages, they must take what little dignity one might have too. Screw 'em. But enough negativity. Here are positive affirmations, for your lying, stupid, "Oh, don't be so negative," attitudes even though I'm living in the streets & piss-drenched alleys on $221.00 cash & $160.00 in Food Stamps a month, w/ no realistic hope for any relief, just an even shorter life w/ greater physical suffering. Easy for you to say, w/ your crummy job "helping" people, which seems to consist of telling them to "be positive," or "chill out." I am not blind. I know what my future holds, & there's nothing "positive," or "possible" about it. I am intelligent, much more intelligent than you, who are too stupid, ignorant, or willfully blind to notice that everything is made of shit & you are all dying. I know too much for my own good. I am tired of living & less & less scared of death, especially as I hope to take many of you w/ me when I go, or at the very least screw up traffic somewhere, or delay the Red Line for quite some time. I could not possibly care any less, except for the destruction & agony I will leave in my wake. I am nothing to you, you are less than nothing to me. I will not die w/o being noticed! NB: This has not made me feel any better. But it's entertaining. Can't tell if I mean all of it or not, can you? P. S.: Should I tell my shrink or case managers or any other of the useless "be positive" element about my little "web log?" Because the slightest threat against their precious world of violence, hatred, war, greed & general evil would result in my being committed to a mental hospital, while the truly insane & violent continue their merry way through the world, in positions of power, producing & causing more twisted fucks in their image. Yes, George Bush & Dick Cheney can rant, rave, rattle their sabres and threaten entire nations w/ horrid mutilation & death from above any time they fucking want to, but I mention that I'm tired of living & wouldn't mind being dead, & it's off to the loony bin. Where's the justice, or even simple fairness, in that?I'm glad I'll be dead soon; your world that I never wanted anything to do w/is only going to become worse. I pity the young, for even worse shall be their world, though at least in part it will be their own fault. And that's it for today's Ranting Lunatic Prophecy Corner!!

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