Thursday, January 24, 2008

Crap from Morons: It Never Stops

We won't go into details, but this was in one of our inboxes recently. After a certain amount of unremarkable money-grubbing boilerplate, we got to the end:
Sincerely, Linda Boyd Chairman Republican Party of Los Angeles County P.S. We have to start NOW to stop Hillary Clinton from taking America down the road to defeatism and socialism. Your contribution in any amount will help us defeat her this year. Please take a moment and help us now by contributing at [Link redacted for the sake of human decency.]
If we thought for thirty seconds that a vote for Sen. Clinton was a vote for socialism, she'd have it. Considering what a corporate, "triangulating" tool the Senator is, & how far to the right of any other Democratic candidate she is, it still kills us that Republican orthodoxy is that she's "Hugo Chavez in a dress," as some inane drone (Sucker of prostitute toes & former Clinton adviser Dick Morris? We really can't remember.) recently referred to her. And if they think Sen. C. is a "defeatist" (We think that means "has a rational foreign policy & doesn't suffer from bladder control problems every time a furriner is mentioned.") they are again deluding themselves. Sen. C. will be so anxious to prove that she's "tough" & whatnot she'll probably start a war the first chance she gets. Our recommendation is Senator John Edwards, though he'd probably be assassinated by GE, GM, ADM or an equally awful corporate entity (Blackwater?) before he could take office.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Hello, World...

One of the two or three who read this thing on a regular basis when it was on a regular basis has asked for an e-mail, so here it is: Due to my own inability to deal w/ reality (depression) I failed to make any serious attempts to get my sorry ass on long-term Social Security disability, & was finally evicted from my lovely rent-controlled West Hollywood dump (where I probably could have lived out the rest of my unnatural life in relative comfort) on 8 January 2008. I'm now in a homeless shelter @ the California National Guard Armory @ Federal & Wilshire in West Los Angeles. As a ward of the L. A. County Mental Health Department there are allegedly people attempting to secure housing of a sort for me, I'm also in a homeless program, which may be able to put me up as I'm a a mental case, blah blah blah... So I'm not dead yet. I check my e-mail each day about 1000, @ the West L. A. Library, before settling in for a day of reading before returning to the shelter. I have gotten help from friends, but none of them (birds of a feather sad sack losers like myself) have money, space or time to spare...

Monday, December 31, 2007

Unhappy New Year Message
From The Editor

Just Another Blog™ tech hard at work.
As none of our viewers/readers have offered to send us a nice new or "pre-owned" devil-box w/ at least WindowsXP Professional (hell, we'll settle for the home edition) & an ethernet card (oh, forgot that the audience consists almost entirely of mental defectives looking for titty pictures & "wife spanking" advice, or mental defectives w/ neither income nor spare computers) leaving us stuck w/ a slow-running Compaq Deskpro 2000 & dial-up connection, which makes it almost literally impossible to search the web or compose any cute little items, we are putting this "blog" (Big Load Of Garbage) on hiatus/indefinite leave, until we can get some of the electronics here @ The House of Bouffant© restored. (Also as a gesture of solidarity w/ our striking brother & sister typists in the film & telebision industry.)
Compaq Deskpro 2000 on which we currently rely.
There is a bit of hope: Intensive Internet investigation has revealed that the CMOS battery may recharge itself if we leave the vprmatrix devil-box on for 24 hours or so, & the Deskpro's sloth may be due to not having the proper driver installed for the hard drive. ("Compatibility-mode paging may royally fuck up your entire existence," to quote Microsoft.) Of course that will involve opening the fucking thing & pulling out the hard drive to determine its manufacturer. Considering that we can barely drag ourself out of bed & into the "living" room on a good day, that may be sometime in the far future. But we'll be thinking about it every so often. And by this time tomorrow the CMOS battery may be rocking & rolling again, meaning that we'll have to set up all the crap we didn't keep a record of, & who knows how that'll work out.

If we're never heard from again, we may have fried ourself & the Deskpro. BZZZT! If not, you'll have heard about it elsewhere. Just look for "spree killer" in your favorite search engine.

TTFN, & a Hippie New Year to all!!

P. S.: If you're still desperate for something to read on the web, make use of the Just Another Blog™ bogrolls [sic], & check in at Fire Megan McArdle, where we've been neglecting our duties. Maybe we can vent some of our hate, rage, pain, & fear on an easy target. — M. B.

This Is The End

Today is Monday, December 31st, the 365th and final day of 2007. [At last, it is over. Expect 2008 to be much worse. We do. — Ed.]
Today's Highlight in History:
In 1879, Thomas Edison first publicly demonstrated his electric incandescent light in Menlo Park, New Jersey.
On this date:
In 1775, the British repulsed an attack by Continental Army generals Richard Montgomery and Benedict Arnold at Quebec; Montgomery was killed.
In 1857, Britain's Queen Victoria decided to make Ottawa the capital of Canada.
In 1862, President Lincoln signed an act paving the way for West Virginia statehood.
In 1877, President and Mrs. Hayes celebrated their silver anniversary (actually, a day late) by re-enacting their wedding ceremony in the White House.
In 1938, the first breath test for drivers, "drunkometer," was introduced in Indianapolis.
In 1946, President Truman officially proclaimed the end of hostilities in World War II.
In 1961, the Marshall Plan expired after distributing more than 12 billion in foreign aid.
In 1963, the Central African Federation of Rhodesia and Nyasaland was formally dissolved.
In 1964, the al-Fatah guerrillas of Yasser Arafat launched their first terrorist raid on Israel.
In 1974, private U.S. citizens were allowed to buy and own gold for the first time in more than 40 years.
In 1978, Taiwanese diplomats struck their colors for the final time from the embassy flagpole in Washington, marking the end of diplomatic relations with the US.
In 1986, 97 people were killed when fire broke out in the Dupont Plaza Hotel in San Juan, Puerto Rico. (Three hotel workers later pleaded guilty in connection with the blaze.)
In 1987, Robert Mugabe was sworn in as Zimbabwe's first executive president.
Ten years ago: Michael Kennedy, the 39-year-old son of the late Senator Robert F. Kennedy, was killed in a skiing accident on Aspen Mountain in Colorado. In Sorocaba, Brazil, riot troops stormed a prison where inmates were holding hundreds of hostages, quickly ending a three-day rebellion without any deaths.
Five years ago: Emerging from holiday seclusion at his Texas ranch, President Bush told reporters an attack by Saddam Hussein or a terrorist ally "would cripple our economy." [Mr. Bush has left it to capitalists, real estate speculators & mortgage lenders to "cripple our economy." — Ed.] Two U. N. nuclear inspectors expelled by North Korea arrived in China, leaving the communist nation's nuclear program isolated from international scrutiny. An explosion at a clandestine fireworks factory in the Mexican port city of Veracruz ignited an entire city block, killing 28 people.
In 2004, Ukrainian Prime Minister Viktor Yanukovych resigned, acknowledging that he had little hope of reversing the presidential election victory of his Western-leaning rival, Viktor Yushchenko.
One year ago: The death toll for Americans killed in the Iraq war reached 3,000. Hundreds of Iraqis flocked to the village of Ouja where Saddam Hussein was born to see the deposed leader buried in a religious compound 24 hours after his execution. Ordinary Americans paid their respects to former President Gerald R. Ford, walking slowly by his flag-covered casket in the U. S. Capitol. [Equal in life, equal in death. — Ed.]
Today's Birthdays: Folk and blues singer Odetta is 77. Actor Sir Anthony Hopkins is 70. Actor Tim Considine ("My Three Sons") is 67. Actress Sarah Miles is 66. Rock musician Andy Summers is 65. Actor Ben Kingsley is 64. Rock musician Peter Quaife (The Kinks) is 64. Producer-director Taylor Hackford is 63. Designer Diane Von Furstenberg is 61. Actor Tim Matheson is 60. Pop singer Burton Cummings (The Guess Who) is 60. Singer Donna Summer is 59. Actor Joe Dallesandro is 59. Rock musician Tom Hamilton (Aerosmith) is 56. Actor James Remar is 54. Actress Bebe Neuwirth is 49.
Actor Val Kilmer is 48. Singer Paul Westerberg is 48. Rock musician Scott Ian (Anthrax) is 44. [Any relation to Janis Ian? — Ed.] Actress Gong Li is 42.
Also Born on December 31, But Died in the Interim: Jacques Cartier, explorer (1491). Charles Cornwallis, general (1738). Henri Matisse, artist (1869). Elizabeth Arden, beautician, business executive (1878). Gorge C. Marshall, general and cabinet member (1880). Simon Wiesenthal, writer, activist (1908). John Denver, entertainer [Crummy pilot, too. — Ed.] (1943).
The Bidness of Show:
On December 31st, 1943, a near-riot of bobby-soxers in Times Square in New York greeted Frank Sinatra's singing engagement at the Paramount Theater.
In 1947, singing cowboy Roy Rogers married Dale Evans.
In 1961, the Beach Boys played their first gig in Long Beach, California. They earned $300.
In 1969, Jimi Hendrix's Band of Gypsys [sic] made its debut in New York.
In 1972, the MC5 played its last gig, in Detroit. They were paid $200. [Compare to The Bleach Bozos above, in 1961. Or the Angry Samoans getting $75.00 to play The Cuckoo's Nest, in 1978. Is there no justice or decency? — Ed.]
In 1973, AC/DC made their concert debut in Sydney, Australia.
In 1982, Little Steven Van Zandt of Bruce Springsteen's E Street Band got married in Asbury Park, New Jersey. Percy Sledge and Little Richard performed "When A Man Loves A Woman" at the reception. [Excuse us, but did his bride have a name? — Ed.]
In 1984, drummer Rick Allen of Def Leppard lost his left arm in a car crash near his home in England. Allen stayed with the band, using a special drum kit. [Did he ever find his left arm? — Ed.]
In 1985, singer Rick Nelson, 45, was killed when fire broke out aboard a DC-3 that was taking him to a New Year's Eve performance in Dallas. His fiancee and five other people were also killed. [Free basing or heater malfunction? You decide. And why were they in a DC-3? Cheap? — Ed.]
In 1989, game show host Pat Sajak married former "Playboy" model Lesly Brown in Annapolis, Maryland. [Perhaps the least significant or interesting item since we started running this crap last month. — Ed.]
In 1991, Gilbert O'Sullivan won his lawsuit against rapper Biz Markie for using a sample of his song "Alone Again (Naturally)" for Markie's song "Alone Again." The case changed the rules of sampling by requiring that all samples be cleared before releasing them on another record.
In 1993, Barbra [Legs! — Ed.] Streisand performed her first paid concert in 22 years, singing to a sellout crowd at the MGM Grand Garden in Las Vegas.In 1997, pianist Floyd Cramer died in Nashville, Tennessee, at age 64.
In 2000, Black Crowes singer Chris Robinson married actress Kate Hudson in Aspen, Colorado. They have since divorced.
In 2004, singer Natalie Imbruglia married Silverchair singer Daniel Johns in an exclusive resort in Australia, & Rush guitarist Alex Lifeson was arrested after he and his son got into a fight with police during a New Year's Eve celebration in Naples, Florida.
In 2005, Dick Clark returned to his "New Year's Rockin' Eve" telecast after missing the previous year because he had had a stroke. He was hoarse and sometimes hard to understand, but he said he "wouldn't have missed this for the world."

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Radio Babylon Diddley ELO Monkees

Today is Sunday, December 30th, the 364th day of 2007. There is one day left in the year.
Today's Highlight in History:

On December 30th, 1907, the Mills Commission issued its final report which concluded that Abner Doubleday was the inventor of the sport of baseball -- a claim which Doubleday himself had never made. (Few, if any, sports historians take this finding seriously.)
On this date:
In 1813, the British burned Buffalo, New York, during the War of 1812. [Unless it happened on 29 December. — Ed.]
In 1853, the United States bought some 45,000 square miles of land from Mexico in a deal known as the Gadsden Purchase.
In 1903, about 600 people died when fire broke out at the recently opened Iroquois Theater in Chicago.
In 1911, Sun Yat-sen was elected the first president of the Republic of China.
In 1922, Vladimir I. Lenin proclaimed the establishment of the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics.
In 1936, the United Auto Workers union staged its first "sit-down" strike, at the Fisher Body Plant Number 1 in Flint, Michigan.
In 1940, California's first freeway, the Arroyo Seco Parkway connecting Los Angeles and Pasadena, was officially opened.
In 1947, King Michael I of Romania agreed to abdicate, but charged he was being forced off the throne by Communists.
In 1972, the United States halted its heavy bombing of North Vietnam.
In 1978, Ohio State University fired Woody Hayes as its football coach, one day after Hayes punched a Clemson University player during a game.
In 1988, President Ronald Reagan and President-elect George H.W. Bush were subpoenaed to testify as defense witnesses in the pending Iran-Contra trial of Oliver North. (The subpoenas were subsequently quashed.) [Oh, huzzah for democracy, responsibility & accountablility!! — Ed.]
In 1993, Israel and the Vatican agreed to recognize one another. ["Hey, Pope, that you?" "Yeah, um, uh, Israel, right?" — Ed.]
In 1994, a gunman walked into a pair of suburban Boston abortion clinics and opened fire, killing two employees and wounding five other people. (John C. Salvi III was later convicted of murder; he committed suicide in prison.) [Typical Christian: Murderer & chickenshit. — Ed.]
Ten years ago: A deadly massacre in Algeria's insurgency began in four mountain villages as armed men killed 412 men, women and children in an attack that lasted from dusk until dawn the following morning.
Five years ago: A suspected extremist killed three US missionaries at a Baptist hospital in Yemen. (The gunman, Abed Abdul Razak Kamel, was executed in February 2006.) China catapulted a fourth unmanned craft into orbit. [Imagine how much farther along their space program would be if they used rockets. — Ed.]
In 2003, the federal government announced it would ban the sale of ephedra, an herbal stimulant linked to 155 deaths and dozens of heart attacks and strokes.
One year ago: Iraqis awoke to news that Saddam Hussein had been hanged; victims of his three decades of autocratic rule took to the streets to celebrate. The casket bearing the body of former President Gerald R. Ford arrived in Washington, D. C. Gerald "Wash" Washington, the mayor-elect of Westlake, Louisiana, was found shot to death in a parking lot; authorities ruled his death a suicide, a conclusion disputed by his family.

Today's Birthdays: Singer-musician Bo Diddley is 79. Actor Joseph Bologna is 73. Actor Russ Tamblyn is 73. Baseball Hall-of-Famer Sandy Koufax is 72. Actor Jack Riley is 72. Folk singer Paul Stookey is 70. TV director James Burrows is 67. Actor Fred Ward is 65. Singer-musician Michael Nesmith is 65. Singer Davy Jones is 62. Singer Patti Smith is 61. Rock singer-musician Jeff Lynne is 60. "Today Show" co-host Meredith Vieira is 54. Actress Sheryl Lee Ralph is 52. Actress Patricia Kalember is 51. Country singer Suzy Bogguss is 51. "Today Show" newscaster Matt Lauer is 50. Actress-comedian Tracey Ullman is 48. Rock musician Rob Hotchkiss is 47. Radio-TV commentator Sean Hannity is 46. Runner Ben Johnson is 46. Golfer Tiger Woods is 32. Baseball player A.J. Pierzynski is 31. Cleveland Cavaliers forward LeBron James is 23.

Born This Date But Refuse to Respond to Stimuli:
Titus, emperor (39). John Milne, seismologist (1850). Rudyard Kipling, author (1865). Alfred E. Smith, political leader (1873). Paul Bowles, writer and composer (1910). Jack Lord, actor (1920).
In Show Bidness This Date:
In 1944, Bob Wills and the Texas Playboys made their first appearance on the Grand Ole Opry.
In 1948, the Cole Porter musical "Kiss Me, Kate" opened on Broadway.
In 1962, singer Brenda Lee was slightly injured when she tried to rescue her dog from her burning home in Nashville. The dog died of smoke inhalation.
In 1979, composer and lyricist Richard Rodgers died in New York at the age of 77. His musicals include "The King and I" and "The Sound of Music." Emerson, Lake and Palmer announced they were splitting up. They later reunited.
In 1981, XTC played their first American concert, in Philadelphia.
In 1999, an intruder broke into George Harrison's home outside London and stabbed Harrison and his wife. Michael Abram was later found innocent by reason of insanity. Singer Johnny Moore of The Drifters died on his way to a London hospital after having breathing difficulties. He was 64.
In 2002, singer Diana Ross was arrested for drunk driving in Tucson, Arizona.
In 2006, more than 8,500 James Brown fans filled an arena in Augusta, Georgia, for a final, joyful farewell to the godfather of soul.