Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Fuck a Bunch of Hanukkah, & Your Chris'mus Bullshit Too!

Today is Tuesday, December 4th, the 338th day of 2007. There are 27 days left in the year.
Hanukkah, the Festival of Lights, begins at sunset.
In 1783, General George Washington bade farewell to his officers at Fraunces Tavern in New York.
In 1816, James Monroe of Virginia was elected the fifth president of the United States.
In 1875, William Marcy Tweed, the "Boss" of New York City's Tammany Hall political organization, escaped from jail and fled the country.
In 1918, President Wilson set sail for France to attend the Versailles Peace Conference.
In 1942, US bombers struck the Italian mainland for the first time in World War II.
In 1942, President Roosevelt ordered the dismantling of the Works Progress Administration, which had been created to provide jobs during the Depression.
In 1945, the Senate approved U.S. participation in the United Nations.
In 1965, the United States launched Gemini 7 with Air Force Lieutenant Colonel Frank Borman and Navy Commander James A. Lovell aboard.
In 1977, Jean-Bedel Bokassa, ruler of the Central African Empire, crowned himself emperor in a lavish ceremony. (Bokassa was deposed in 1979; he died in 1996 at age 75.)
In 1978, San Francisco got its first female mayor as City Supervisor Dianne Feinstein was named to replace the assassinated George Moscone. [Before you knew it, she was a fucking Senator!! Thanks a lot, Dan "Twinkie" White. — Ed.]
In 1991, the original Pan American World Airways ceased operations.
In 1996, the Mars Pathfinder lifted off from Cape Canaveral and began speeding toward Mars on a 310 million-mile odyssey. (It arrived on Mars in July 1997.)
Ten years ago: The National Basketball Association suspended All-Star Latrell Sprewell of the Golden State Warriors for one year for choking and threatening to kill his coach, P.J. Carlesimo, three days earlier. (An arbitrator later reduced the suspension and reinstated Sprewell to the Warriors, which had terminated his contract.) [That was 10 yrs. ago? Really? — Ed.]
In 2000, a Florida state judge refused to overturn Republican presidential candidate George W. Bush's certified victory in Florida, and the U.S. Supreme Court set aside a ruling that had allowed manual recounts. [Resulting in the destruction of a once semi-tolerable nation, & we don't mean Iraq, though there's no excuse for that either. — Ed.]
Five years ago: United Airlines lost its bid for one-point-eight billion dollars in federal loan guarantees, a major setback to the nation's second-largest air carrier in its efforts to avoid bankruptcy. Supreme Court justices heard arguments on whether federal laws intended to combat organized crime and corruption could be used against anti-abortion demonstrators. (The Court later ruled that such laws were improperly used to punish abortion opponents.)
One year ago: Lacking the Senate votes to keep his job, embattled U.N. Ambassador John Bolton offered his resignation to President Bush, who accepted it. [Ha ha ha. Punk-ass loser. — Ed.] Marine Lance Corporal Daniel Smith was convicted in the Philippines of raping a Filipino woman and sentenced to 40 years in prison. Truck driver Tyrone Williams was convicted in Houston of the deaths of 19 illegal immigrants crammed into a sweltering tractor-trailer. NASA announced plans to build an international base camp on the Moon. [Hurry up w/ that, wouldja? We'd really like to get off this planet. — Ed.]

Birthdays of The Living:
Deanna Durbin, actress, 86. Wink Martindale, game show host, 73. Max Baer Jr., actor, producer, 70. Gemma Jones, actress, 65. Bob Mosley, musician (Moby Grape) 65. [Now he can start singing "Hey Grandma," for real. — Ed.] Chris Hillman, musician (The Byrds) 63. Terry Woods (The Pogues) 60. Johnny Lyon (Southside Johnny and the Asbury Jukes) 59. Mary Peters, Secretary of Transportation, 59. Jeff Bridges, actor, 58. Gary Rossington, rock musician (Lynyrd Skynyrd) 56. Patricia Wettig, actress, 56. Cassandra Wilson, jazz singer, 52. Bob Griffin, rock musician (The BoDeans) 48. Vinnie Dombroski, rock singer (Sponge) 45. Chelsea Noble, actress, 43. Marisa Tomei, actress, 43. Fred Armisen, actor, comedian ("Saturday Night Live") 41. Jay-Z, rapper, 38. Tyra Banks, model-TV host, 34.

Birthdays of the Dead:
John Cotton, clergyman (1584)
Thomas Carlyle, essayist, historian (1795)
Lillian Russell, soprano (1861)
Edith Cavell, nurse (1865)
Rainer Maria Rilke, poet (1875)
Francisco Franco, Spanish general and leader (1892) [Still dead. — Ed.]
Dennis Wilson, pop musician (1944)

Today in "Entertainment" History [No Beatle items today! — Ed.]:
In 1944, country singer Eddy Arnold made his first recordings in Nashville.
In 1956, Elvis Presley, Johnny Cash, Jerry Lee Lewis and Carl Perkins made a series of impromptu recordings in Memphis at Sun Records. They were released 25 years later under the title "The Million Dollar Quartet."
In 1965, Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones was knocked unconscious when his guitar touched an ungrounded microphone during a concert in Sacramento, California. He still managed to finish the show.
In 1976, actress Elizabeth Taylor married Senator John Warner of Virginia.
In 1980, the surviving members of Led Zeppelin announced they would not re-form after the death of drummer John Bonham. [Are they not about to embark on a re-union tour w/ Bonzo's son on the sticks? That money just doesn't last forever. — Ed.]
In 1989, the Supreme Court upheld an appeals court ruling that said Prince did not steal the song "U Got the Look" from his half-sister. Lorna Nelson claimed the lyrics were similar to ones she had written.
In 1990, Madonna appeared on ABC's "Nightline" to defend her "Justify My Love" video, which was banned by MTV. She denied the video's explicit content was meant to stir up controversy and get publicity.
In 1991, Van Halen performed a free show in Dallas. Lead singer Sammy Hagar had promised to do the show because he had lost his voice during a concert in Dallas three and a half years earlier.
In 1993, composer & musician Frank Zappa died at his home in Los Angeles. He was 52. [To quote another dead local, talking about yet another dead musician: "Poor Otis/ Dead & gone/Left me here/To sing his song/Pretty little girl/With the red dress on/Poor Otis/dead & gone." — Ed.]
Frank w/ cat (not Mr. Phyllis).

This is too fucking depressing. No more.

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